THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Chili's™ or Applebee's™...
Which restaurant has better food?
Answer now for your chance to get $500 in gift cards to the
restaurant of your choice.
http://www.tinyurl.com/cr6wuw
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Mothers day is here. I hope you have good plans for your
momma/wife etc. The war department and me celebrated
Mother's day yesterday, actually. Don't ask me why. Just
happened that way. My first SSI payment came in and I had
money, for a change. (For once, I am glad I live in a socialist
country) I suppose that is as good a reason to celebrate early
as any. Took her out to Bennigans for lunch. It was the first
time I had ever been there. Not bad, the ribs were juicy and
they fell right off the bone. Best ribs I'd had in a long
time. Kindof pricy, tho, but not bad. Her mother always used to grow
african violets. and while she has a ton of flowers and such
in the house, she had none of those.
I decided those were a great gift idea. And they
went over well. Then I also got her a jelly donut and a
C note. What woman can't be happy with that, eh?
Be sure to hug yo momma today!
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL MOTHERS!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE COMICS
Ben and Jerry's
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b060.html
goggles
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b062.html
Bigfoot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b063.html
fat kids
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b064.html
I'm sorry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b065.html
Iraq
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b066.html
she's a lesbian
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b067.html
determination
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b068.html
hello, Jeff?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b069.html
________
I am looking for opinions on how to change
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER. If you have any suggestions
please use our new suggestion box. I had it
installed to show how much I value your opinion!
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
dog slidin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5499.html
habitat camoflouge system
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5500.html
office orchestra
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5501.html
the Blue Danube
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5502.html
charity kisses
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5503.html
the small town song
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5504.html
too much detail
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5505.html
________________
The manager of a department store was training several new Employees.
He went over various store policies including hours of work, breaks, floor
duties, stocking merchandise and employee discounts.
"But the most important thing," he said, "is customer service. The customers
are very important. Treat them with respect. Patiently answer whatever
questions they have. And above all, Remember, 'The Customer is Always Right.'"
With that, the new employees went to their allotted departments. The manager
walked around the store several times that day and observed how his new people
were doing. All were doing well except one man who just was not selling anything.
At the end of the day, the manager took him aside and said, "I have been
observing you. You assisted many customers but you have not sold any merchandise.
Why?" The employee replied, "I have been following your instructions very carefully.
Whenever a customer comes in, I explain to him the details of the product,
the special features and the various prices. He then says something like,
'This is cheaply made, overpriced, useless junk.' Since you said the customer
is always right, I tell him, 'You are right!' And he leaves!"
_____________
There are three guys in a bar talking about how much their wives complain and
bitch at them. They decide that when they get home and their wives begin
bitching about them that they will do anything that their wives complain
about regardless of how ridiculous their request is.
The next weekend they were in the same bar telling about their experiences
with their respective wives during the previous week.
The first man said, "I don't think that the idea was such a good idea after all."
"I was sitting in my recliner watching tv and I dropped my cigarette onto the
recliner burning a small hole in the seat." My wife said, "Why don't you just
burn the whole house down?" I did so. "The place is still smoldering."
The second man said, "That isn't anything, I was working on the car, and dropped
my wrench and dented the hood and fender." She said, "Why don't you just tear
the whole car apart?" "It took me all night to dismantle it."
The third man said, "You guys ain't got anything on me." "When I got home, my
wife was cleaning up the kitchen, and I was feeling a little horny." I reached
down and grabbed her crotch." She said, "Cut that out." He held out his hands
and showed them what he was holding in them," He said, "Did you ever see a pussy
real close?"
____________
This man dies and goes to Hell. He is not very happy about this, so he goes to
see the devil himself, to ask him if it is possible to go upstairs instead.
Well, the devil replies, you are scheduled to leave here in 1,000,000 years, but
I have a special offer this week. If you can go to bed with my mother-in-law and
keep her happy for 24 hours straight, you'll get out in 100,000 years. If you
can keep her happy for 48 hours straight, you'll get out in 1000 years. If you
last 72 hours, you are free to go.
The man thinks about this, and decides that it is worth a shot. He follows the
devil until he comes to a room. Inside he sees the devil's mother-in-law, who is
the most sickening sight he ever saw. He can hardly see where her warts end
and she begins. Fighting back nausea, he begins on his mission.
The devil himself keeps watch at the door. After 24 hours the man is still going
strong, after 48 hours still no sight of him. The minute the 72 hours has elapsed
the door opens and the man falls out, totally exhausted. Before the devil can say
or do anything, the man rises, grabs the devil by the collar, and says, "Why you..
You.. You ... This is unfair. While I was busy humping your mother-in-law, I
noticed a hole in the wall. When I looked through it, I saw my worst enemy in
bed with the most beautiful woman I ever saw. Why on earth is he getting
special treatment?" The devil looks at the man and says, "I am fair, there are
also women who want to get out of Hell."
_____________
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.
When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you
shouldn't wear that suit."
"And why not, darling?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache next morning."
______________
BUFFALO Bill
Crick
http://www.buffaloschips.com/41201.htm
Many Moons
http://www.buffaloschips.com/41202.htm
Interesting..
http://www.buffaloschips.com/41203.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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