[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For Thurs





Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Tomorrow is Memorial Day traditionally. As a part of our rich
maritime history there will be the laying of a wreath on the waters
at the Coast Guard Base to honor all those who passed making
this nation strong on our Lakes, Seas, and Oceans.

Here is a poem from our friend Mary Greeley she wrote 2 years and
a half ago that goes well with the thoughts of the day.

God bless them all! Sincerely, Mary P. Greeley
"A Gift from the Heart" -- my new book at:
http://www.agiftfromtheheartusa.com

THE HEROES OF WAR

We are not the heroes of the war,

Although we all stood tall for the cause

The heroes are those who were killed over there

Who never once ever heard the applause

They were the ones who left families behind

The ones so many mothers would never forget

They were the kids the boys from war.

Who had no chance to become men and yet.

They answered the call when it came their way

And they enlisted to fight and defend

The freedoms back home all mattered so much

Even if it meant that their lives might come to an end

They were the doughboys from World War I

And the soldiers from World War II

They were the fighters in Korea and in Vietnam

Who did exactly as they were ordered to do

They were the soldiers in the Persian Gulf War

And the ones in the war on terrorism around the world

They all took the looks and the stares that were given

To make sure that our flag would forever stay unfurled

They were the ones who paid the big price

The ones who we never had the chance to thank

The ones we have all forgotten thru time

Never knowing their names, let alone their rank

But one thing is for sure, and I can promise you this

That no matter what soldier still living you may ask

The ones who deserve to be called heroes of war

Are the ones who took the fall. so they could finish the task

CWritten by
Mary P. Greeley
November 25, 2006.

Enjoy the Chips.... buffalo

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Gift Chips
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Shopping For Women

Never give a woman any kind of household appliance
or something that is going to make "housework" easier.
For instance, a blender, a toaster, a new vacuum, one
of those mops they advertise on tv that does
everything but suck the life out of you, anything in a infomercial.
The
only appliance allowed is a vibrator with all of the various speeds,
slow, medium, and who needs a man. Another wise choice is a new
washing
machine with a turbo spin cycle. (Makes laundry day go by pretty
fast
when you can at least sit on it during spin-dry and end up smiling
the
rest of the day.)

Any sharp objects made by Ronco which slices or
dices, or a set of ginsu knives. These may one day be
used as a weapon against you when you come home with
lipstick on your collar after a "night out with the boys."

Any bulk cleaning supplies, "honey, I got you that
large box of Tide you have been wanting." "This Windex
should last you a while." "I got a good deal on the
industrial strength toilet bowl cleaner." All I can
say is, be prepared to run. I have faith that if you
would have at least stopped and thought about what
would be a much more intimate gift, you would have had
the sense to spring for the $5 Chia Pet you were
eyeing in Kmart.

Any lingerie made of flannel, such as a pair of feet
pajamas with a trap door in back. A Little Mermaid or
Barney cartoon character nightgown. It gives her the
idea that you do not consider her the sexy woman that
she is. Take out that wallet and buy her something
sexy from Victoria Secret (just like you did for your
mistress or other girlfriend).

No name perfume which costs you $1.99, such as Eu de
Toilet, which actually smells like the bathroom, a $10
whore, or your dirty socks. If you are going to buy
her perfume, spring for the brand names.

Do not buy gifts for yourself and pretend they are
for her. "Honey, I'm sure you'll get a lot of use out
of the new drill I bought you." By then she will have
put it to good use by drilling a quarter inch hole
into the side of your skull for even thinking she
would accept such a lame gift. After a gift like this,
you probably won't be around for NEXT Christmas.

Any type of cubic zirconia jewelry you see on the
Home Shopping Network. It will be quite embarrassing
when she is showing off that fabulous diamond to her
friends and tries to cut glass with it. (We actually
test them you know.) Also, now would not be a good
time to buy her that set of diamond nipple clamps you
always wanted to, you know how we like to show off our
jewelry and it could get embarrassing at the New
Year's party when she decides to show them off to your
buddies.

Please do not buy her clothes because you think for
one minute you have good taste in woman's clothing.
Well, perhaps you might if you are a transvestite, but
all in all, believe me, she'll smile and say its
beautiful while choking back tears and mumbling under
her breath, "where the hell would I ever wear this
outfit without being arrested for bad taste?" An
additional hint, plaids do not go with stripes (even
though you think your golfing outfit looks just fine).
Its a known fact to the rest of the world that that is
a taboo. In the Northeast, thats like wearing white
after Labor Day.

Do not give her a gift certificate to Jenny Craig or
Weight Watchers. Most men would know better,
especially the ones who have learned the correct
response to "do these pants make me look fat." If you
are one of the poor souls who still doesn't get it and purchased a
gift
like this, be prepared for the silent treatment for a month.
(Although
that may be something you would actually look forward to.) A better
alternative would be hiring a Chippendale dancer as a personal
trainer
to get her motivated into getting fit. She'll certainly get a
workout
stretching to the oldies while stuffing dollar bills in his
g-string.
I'm not sure, but I think that alone burns up 3,500 calories.

Last but not least, never buy a woman anti-wrinkle
cream, or a book on "How not to be a Bitch Sunday
through Saturday." These are not considered gifts,
they are considered reasons for seriously injuring the
person who bought it and just may stand up in court of
law.

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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

artificial
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three months behind
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e041.html

CNN live
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Surprise!
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Surprise.jpg

Explicit
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=tshirt-010.jpg

Wrong way to eat squash [naughty alert]
http://able2laugh.com/master/pix.php?pic=Veggiesx011.jpg

Beware PMS
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000172.html

Bic Razor Billboard
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000173.html

Big Bird
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Grill Chips
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A young innocent girl is about to go on her 1st date and is given
some
word of advise and warning by her mother; "Look darling, they all
want
the same, so do be very careful and don't you ever let him;

1.) kiss your lips. Your lips are as soft as rose petals and will
shrivel,
2.) or touch your breast. They are like of thin crystal and can
shatter,
and
3.) never ever to touch your "private" part. That one is like a
"GRILL"
and will burn everything coming to touch it."

The girl is off full of excitement and anxiety, and Mum waits and
waits
until just after midnight when she's back.

"How was it?" asks mum.

"Oh mum, it was absolutely fantastic, and I think I'm in love!"

"Lets not go too fast dear. And did he tried to come too close?"

"Well, yes, he did and I did as you said and he was absolutely
careful
not to hurt or harm me!"

"What do you mean careful, did you let him do something?"

"Not exactly mum, see it was like that. First he wanted to kiss me
and I
told him what you said, and he stopped. Then he went to touch my
breast
and again I told him what you said, and he stopped. Then he slowly
went
under my skirt close to the private part, and I told him what you
said,
and he then took his hands out and said; "What a coincidence, I
happen
to have a nice piece of "Fillet" and would love to put it in your
"Grill" to cook!!"

"WHAT?!?" screams the mother, "I knew that bastard is no different
to
the others. You hopefully stopped him there too, didn't you?"

"Well, not really mum. You see, he promised to be careful and was
very
careful not to "burn" his fillet. Every now and then he took it out
and
had me "taste it" to see if it was cooked or not."

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Bear Chips
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A hunter goes into the woods to hunt a bear. he carries his trusty
22
cal.
rifle with him. After a while he spots a very large bear, takes aim
and
fires. When the smoke clear, the bear is gone.

A moment later, the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says,
"no
one
shoots at me and get away with it. You have two choices: I can rip
your
throat out and eat you, or you can drop your pants, bend over and
I'll
fuck
your ass."

The hunter decides that anything is better then death, so he drops
his
pants
and bends over and the bear does what he said he would do.

After the bear finished and left, the hunter pulls up his pants and
staggers
back into town. He's pretty mad. He buys a much larger gun and
returns
to
the forest. He sees the same bear, aims, and fires. When the smoke
clears,
the bear is gone.

A moment later, the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says,
"you
know what to do."

Afterward the hunter pulls up his pants, crawls back into town and
buys
a
bazooka. Now he's really mad. He returns to the forest, sees the
bear,
aims and fires. The force of the bazooka blast knocks him flat on
his
back.

When the smoke clears, the bear is standing over him and says,
"you're
not
doing this for the hunting, are you?"

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Random Chips
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Prostitution is a hole sale business.

Convicted of murder and sentenced to death, the shapely young woman

asked, as a last request, that she be hanged in the nude. Although
the
warden thought this unusual, he felt a last request was not
something
to be denied. When the condemned prisoner arrived at the gallows,
the
hangman gasped, "My God, you have the most beautiful body I've ever

seen." Came the whispered reply, "It's all yours if you keep your
trap
shut."

What did the gay man say to the census taker? "Well, I was born in
Chicago but reared in San Francisco."

A man who spends the night at a gay bar will often wake up with a
queer taste in his mouth.

"How did your evening with your new boyfriend go?" "It was a
disaster.
We were nude in bed in heavy foreplay and he had a premature
ejaculation." "What did he say when it occurred?" "He just said I
was
the loveliest girl he had ever come across."

"My hubby & I have, what he calls 'Olympic Sex'." "Wow, you must be

have a terrific sex life?" "Not really. It only happens once every
four years."

Stan Kegel

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Kennedy Chips
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Tips For Socializing With The Kennedy's

* Don't fly with Joe or JFK Jr.

* Don't get in a boat with Jack.

* Don't ride in a convertible with Jack.

* Don't ride with Ted unless a window is down.

* Stay out of Bobby's way in the kitchen.

* Don't go skiing with Michael.

* Don't let Michael baby-sit your kids.

* Don't go out on a date with William Kennedy Smith.

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Quick Chop - Dice, Chop & Mince in Seconds

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with every slap and you'll never have to switch the blade. Quick
Chop makes clean up a breeze - simply pop it open and rinse or throw
it in the dishwasher.

Order today and get the second one on us plus a Quick Grater.

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Animal Chips
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Quotes From Animal Romance Novels

It had been tough growing up in the spotlight, alone,
separated from her by the jail house bars of a system
that didn't understand their love. But someday they
would be together again, and he would wait, counting
the days until she was released. After all, it was Mary
who had turned him from a little lamb into a young ram.

His nose was cold. Colder than any nose that dared sniff her
before. She backed further into his muzzle.

The muscular ram grabbed her by the wooly tuft on the back of
her neck and with a sinful gleam in his eye said, "You've
been a very baa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aad girl."

His torrid affair with the donkey left him smelling like ass.

His every pant brought forth a musky scent, and he growled low
in his throat and said, "Moan like a human, bitch!"

My master crossed his legs provocatively, dangling one taut
lean calf over his knee. As his leg bobbed rhythmically,
his cuff climbed higher, revealing-- Hey! A squirrel!

Squeezing his octopus companion tightly with his tentacles,
Oliver felt shame as he prematurely released his ink.

Polly's new man was like all the others. He never seemed to
ask what she really wanted, choosing instead to
insistently repeat his offer of a cracker.

Timmy and Sally rested for several seconds, then began anew.
Then rested again. Followed by more loving. A brief nap.
Once again with the coitus. The bunnies simply could not
help themselves.

He didn't need the love of a female. He didn't need a male,
either, for that matter. He was a worm. He had it all.

"Your bulging green eyes, your powerful jaws -- I think
I'm losing my head over you, darling."
"You have no idea how right you are, loverboy."

The Top 5 List
Copyright 2003 by Chris White

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

Pause for a second to remember LynnLynn who passed away 3 years ago
this week

LynnLynn will always be fondly remembered and loved by tens of
thousands of daily readers for the treasures she found as she surfed
the net.
I enjoyed so many email talks with Lynn and miss her terribly. She
was one in a million.
John
http://heavens-gates.com/justthinking/

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Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Precious Lord
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Stories/PreLord.html

carolyn w/ No Big Thing ~Elvis Presley
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/elvis/nobigthing.html

Harmony With God
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/harmonywithgod.html

Lazybones
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Surfin Surfari

Consumer reviews on contractors, plumbers, dentists, doctors
http://www.angieslist.com/Angieslist/

Man's Stufff on The Moon Via Day
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_artificial_objects_on_the_Moon

From the CDC: What Is trichinosis?
http://www.cdc.gov/NCIDOD/dpd/parasites/trichinosis/factsht_trichino
sis.htm#what

Is Waterboarding Torture or is Mancow Just a Wuss?
http://tinyurl.com/lyxag4

Magic Eye
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

An Unofficial User's Guide to Gmail Via Dianne
http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2346121,00.asp

Listen to your PDF Via Wesley
http://www.adobe.com/products/acrobat/tutorials/acr6araccessibility.
html

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rotect

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Animal World

Doggie Zone
Flower Dog Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/flowerart2.html

Kitty Korner
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Movie Clips

Italian Chewing Gum
http://www.buffaloschips.com/akloo.htm

Dead or Alive Holly Vance
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James David Manning
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Jeff Dunham Achmed the Dead
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Jeff Dunham & Bubba
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High Power Worker
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High Speed Web Cam
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Hillary Wasn't Lying Bosnia Gunfire Footage
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Home Alone
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Home Security
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Pot Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your mama is like a joint, everbody gets a hit

A woman was complaining about how the time of the month made her
hungry.
"I have the munchies, so it must be hormonal." A man overhearing her
said, "that's funny," usually when I have the munchies, its uasally
home-grown-al.

Last week I bought a bag I thought was sinsimilla, but instead it
was
seeds a million.

Your mind is like a parachute: it works better when its high.

I quit smoking pot once....it was the worst 15 minutes of my life.

You know your a stoner if your bong gets washed more than your
dishes

You know you are really high when:
1. It takes an hour to cook minute rice.
2. You sell your car for gas money.
3. You think a quarterback is a refund.
4. Your friend takes a hit and says, that stone got me
really hit.

Q. What do you call a cop with an ounce of primo Pot?
A. The fucking cop who busted me.

Q. Did you herar they're gonna make the Dallas Cowboys
start playing on a natural turf?
A. Yah! they're already snorting all the lines and smoking
all the grass.

A hippy was seen crawling down some railway tracks.
When asked if there was a problem, he said, yeah man, can you help
me
off this ladder.

Q. Which end of the joint should one light?
A. The end thats not in your mouth.

Q. How is the Ohio State Buckeyes and marijuana the
same?
A. They both get smoked in bowls.

Q. What do you do if a stoner throws a hand grenade at
you?
A. Take the pin out and throw it back.

Q. How do you stop an army of stoners on horseback?
A. Turn off the carousel.

Q. What do potheads catch when they go fishing?
A. Red-eyes and cottonmouth.

Q. Whats the difference between a bong for breakfast
and anal sex?
A. One makes your day, but the other makes your
hole weak.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Toon Chips
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Amish gas sign
http://www.buffaloschips.com/43ui.htm

Amish Mechanic
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2ddw.htm

Amish Viagra
http://www.buffaloschips.com/983u.htm

An Alien on the moon
http://www.buffaloschips.com/qr3.htm

Anal sex
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Analist
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Leak Ender 2000 - Fixes any leak we promise.

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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And nothing could make a man madder
Than losing to some woman's bladder
I see them some nights
All hitting the heights
That no man could reach with a ladder

~~~~~~

St. David of Wales is unique
But not for the words he would speak
Or the life that he led;
He's, oddly, instead
Remembered for taking a leek.

~~~~~~

In one little whorehouse I've been
I sampled the charms of Maureen
Affection I sought
But something I caught
Was turning my gonads to green

~~~~~~

I wouldn't think that was so bad
As the sweet little thing that I had
In gay old Paris --
What she gave to me
Has turned my poor gonads to plaid

~~~~~~~

There was a young lady of Ardon,
The tool of whose man wouldn't harden,
Said she with a frown
"I've been sadly let down"
By the tool of a fool in a garden.

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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the cop was off duty, he often hung around bars in the seedier
parts of town, listening to rumors and trying to get a sense of what
was going on.

One evening a quite stunningly beautiful lady walked in and ordered
a
drink. The cop watched her, fascinated that such a comely, well
dressed woman would be in a dive like this. She seemed to notice his
stare; she turned and came over to where he sat.

"Can I buy you a drink?" she asked, her azure gaze holding his eyes
as
though her were hypnotized.

"S-s-s-sure!" he stammered, not believing his luck. She was
gorgeous!

Just then the bartender snorted, "Hey, buddy, that's no lady!" and
laughed out loud.

"What?!?" the cop asked, confused.

"Like I said. That's no lady. He's not a woman, either!" the
bartender
said.

The cop's face turned a deep red as his anger rose. "Why, you... I
oughta run you in!" he growled at the "lady".

"For what?" he/she answered, "I haven't done anything illegal, have
I?"

"For male fraud!" was the cop's reply. (By Clynch Varnadore)

Stan Kegel

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A lady and her dog were enjoying a stroll in the park
when her dog was mounted from behind by a large
Rottweiler. The Rot was really humping away and the
lady was frantically trying to break them up, to no avail.

A small boy walked up and stuck his finger in the Rot's
butt, and the action immediately stopped.

The lady was amazed. "How did you do that?" she
asked.

The little boy said, "That's my dog! He can dish it out,
but he can't take it!"

Randy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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instinctively attack and eat their prey. Get the most lifelike lure
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1607

The Surprise

Rob is checking the mail: Hey look Tami, your second place in El
Scorcho won a free trip to Ireland!

Tami: You have to be kidding?

Rob: No, it says right here, a free trip for two to Ireland all
expenses
paid by the racing committee. We could leave tomorrow!

Tami: Ireland! Wow, that is great, I will pack and you make the
arrangements.

Rob: Okay.

The next day they are at the airport.

Tami: Which hanger do we leave from?

Robert: Hanger 13. Oh I see it, it is the small one at the end of
the
runway.

Tami: Very small if you ask me. I wonder how they get a jet
inside?

Rob: Oh how cool, it is an older DC-3 aircraft.

Tami: Ack!

Sandi: Welcome Tami, we have upgraded from our old Ford Tri-motor
to this
DC-3 model. This is about five years newer, from 1931 to 1936.

Tami: Ack!

Rudy: Yeah, with this model, we can transport up to twenty-five
people
instead of sixteen.

Tami: Ack!

Katie: Tickets please!

To be continued

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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