THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
A word to the wise ain't necessary -
it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
The work on the remodling project has come to a standstill.
We are fixing up my son's attic bedroom with the help of
the neighbor, as you might recall. Suddenly, neighbor is
working overtime this past week. I certainly encourage anybody
who is able to make extra bux working 10 hour days and Saturdays.
That does not, however, do very much for me at the moment
but that is the way of things when you get things done like
this.
Has been really nice weather this past week and motorcycle
rides have been long and plentiful. Walks with Turk the dog seem
to be more frequent and longer also. It was a little 'ucky
in the morning yesterday, rainy and cool. But by 3 in the afternoon,
it was gorgeous. No wind, and probably 73 degrees. I left only
"for a little bit" I told her. Just a quick spin around the neighbor
hood, I said. 3 and a half hours later, I came back. We won't talk
about the discussion we had when I returned.:)
(excerpt...
Yes, dear, I know I have a cell phone.
Yes dear, because it was laying on my desk instead
being in my pocket when I left.
Yes dear, I won't forget the cell phone again.
Yes dear, I know that's why I have the phone.
Yes dear, could you toss me down my pillow if I have to sleep on the
couch again tonite?)
I just got so
wrapped up in it I lost track of time.
Guys, don't forget your cell phone when you go motorcycle riding
its bad for your health.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
why I don't like doctors....
THE COMICS
smurfs at work
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b041.html
doggie drink
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b042.html
pull my finger
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b043.html
let the dog in
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b044.html
fatal error
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b045.html
would you mind
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b046.html
the mind of a college student
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b047.html
what do you expect
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b048.html
women boxers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b049.html
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Gulf coast of Florida
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5486.html
fairy tale
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5488.html
big piano
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5489.html
fun at Wrigley field
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5490.html
how
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5491.html
at the laundromat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5492.html
here's your burger
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5493.html
In the immigration office:
Q.: "Name?
A.: "Abdul Dalah Sarafi."
Q.: "Sex?"
A.: "Four times a week."
Q.: "No, no, no... male or female?"
A.: "Male, female... sometimes camel..."
_____________
Dora Evans made a nice living running her mobile concession truck.
She would find out where the local movie company was shooting on location
and park her truck, which she called simply "The Box", near-by.
Technicians and actors alike would stop by for some pastry and coffee during
breaks from shooting. This was the day that the director was shooting the most
important scene in the movie. In this scene the lovers walking along a deserted
beach decide to break off their relationship and return to their respective
spouses to live the rest of their lives with only the memory of their short
interlude to comfort them in the years ahead.
He had shot the scene several times in order to insure that he had obtained
the most dramatic effect. That evening, on reviewing the daily takes, he was
shocked to find every take was spoiled. As the stars were talking, the camera
swept around the surrounding loneliness of the empty beach. But in every take,
there was the concession truck with several people enjoying its wares.
He immediately called his cinematographer and shouted angrily, "I told you never to ...
pan Dora's Box."
_____________
A truck driver, who had been delivering radioactive waste for the local reactor
begins to feel sick after a few years on the job.
He decided to seek compensation for his ailment.
Upon his arrival at the workers' compensation department, he is interviewed by
an assessor.
Assessor: "I see you work with radio-active materials and wish to claim compensation."
Trucker: "Yeah, I feel really sick."
Assessor: "All right then, Does your employer take measures to protect you from
radiation poisoning?"
Trucker: "Yeah, he gives me a lead suit to wear on the job."
Assessor: "And what about the cabin in which you drive?"
Trucker: "Oh yeah. That's lead lined, all lead lined."
Assessor: "What about the waste itself? Where is that kept?"
Trucker: "Oh, the stuff is held in a lead container, all lead."
Assessor: "Let me see if I get this straight. You wear a lead suit, sit in
a lead-lined cabin and the radio-active waste is kept in a lead container."
Trucker: "Yeah, that's right. All lead."
Assessor: "Then I can't see how you could claim against him for radiation poisoning."
Trucker: "I'm not suing for radiation poison. I claiming for lead poisoning!"
________________
A young dating couple were driving down the road in a very busy area, when things
started to get somewhat passionate. They decided to pull over and park and have
some fun.Things were really getting hot, and they were not paying any attention to
what was going on outside. All of a sudden a policeman was tapping on their window.
The cop could hardly contain himself."Didn't you know that you are not supposed to
be having sex in public?" he asked the couple.
Being embarrassed by being caught, they said yes and apologized.
"Well, he said, I will have to write you a ticket."
So the cop wrote the ticket and reminded them next time to watch their behavior.
After getting dressed, the girl asked her boyfriend what the policeman wrote the
ticket for. He responded, "Doing 69 in a 35 mph speed zone!"
_____________
A scruffy young man was questioned by one of New York's finest for
peddling dirty pictures. "But you're mistaken," said the kid. "These
pictures aren't dirty."
Selecting one, the policeman said, "Do you mean to tell me this
isn't a dirty picture?"
The young man responded, "Don't be such a prude, officer!
Haven't you ever seen five people in love?"
__________
The Coffee Prayer
Caffeine is my shepherd; I shall not doze.
It maketh me to wake in green pastures:
It leadeth me beyond the sleeping masses.
It restoreth my buzz:
It leadeth me in the paths of consciousness for its name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of addiction,
I will fear no EqualTM:
For thou art with me; thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me.
Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of The Starbucks:
Thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over.
Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life:
And I will dwell in the House of Mochas forever.
~Author Unknown
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Crane
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32158.htm
Marriage Penalty
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32159.htm
Coffee Break
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32160.htm
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
Bar Shooter
http://tinyurl.com/d9f72d
Dentist Electric Chair
http://tinyurl.com/cglvmo
Mahjongg Artifacts Game
http://tinyurl.com/czjttp
SYDESJOKES LIST
Truck Limo
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001598.html
Smooth Shaved
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001599.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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