THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Life is too short for drama & petty things,
laugh insanely,
love truly,
and forgive quickly.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Obviously from the comments, there are a lot of
"old timers" who can identify with my "growin up"
stories on the farm. I thought I was getting boring
but many of you told me how you liked them. So, Just to
satisfy everyone's curiousity,
Where did I grow up...Pappy decided to farm
because the tribe was offering a housing stipend if you
moved "off" the reservation. No one wanted to hire him,
and so he ended up getting land on share cropper status.
The "homestead" was a couple miles down a dirt road on the
other side of a little town in northern Iowa called Cleves.
You don't know where that is because even people from Iowa
have never heard of it. Lets just say if you can find Waterloo
on a map it would be 40 miles or so to the west of there.
DEFINTELY down a "hoop and a holler", as they say in the country.
A share cropper was sortof a step "lower" than a hired man. A hired man
had wages and the farmer usually provided him with a small
dilapidated old house to live in on the place. Pappy, on the
other hand, worked his land on a share of the proceeds.
Share cropping. I think it was a 50 50 split, They provide the land we provide the work.
We had about 200 cattle that we "fed out" each year. Pap
bought them each year wild and scrawny from out west and then fed them
on Iowa corn all summer till they were plump market weight. But our
real operation was hogs...feeding out about 2000 feeder porkes
per year. Most of the land, we couldn't grow chit. being river
bottom bordering the Iowa river. It flooded a lot. Thus, we were
the poor of the poor. (Altho I never knew it till later years.)
And no, we were not so poor that we made clothes out of feedsacks,
altho to this day, I do have a quilt my granny made from
them, and I wore a lot of hand me down pants and shirts from
cousins. When we first moved, there was no house
on the land. So we ended up moving into a machine shed.
(a machine shed was a building used to store tractors)
I still remember momma looking at pappy like he was crazy when
he first took us there. She said , "this is the most godforsaken looking
place I can remember in a long time." But we eventually remodled
the shed into a house. Early years I remember no electricity and no
running water. And we burned corn cobs for heat, because they were
cheaper than buying wood. Fortunately for us, pappy was a risk taker,
Remember the grain deals that Nixon started with Russia in the seventies?
It pushed prices through the roof, and about that time, pappy decided
to invest in "winter wheat" commodities on the stock market. (basically you are
betting on whether the price of wheat will go up or down.)
He was right, and eventually, in later years times got better,
and pappy literally "bought the farm". I chuckle because I can
remember the first night there, I heard my momma say
to pappy "You can't possibly think of bringing up our family in
this hell hole." But you know what? I think she just might
see things a little differently these days.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
________________
THE COMICS
the buzzards
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h020.html
a nudist cookout
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h021.html
doggy style
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h022.html
funny business
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h023.html
taps
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h024.html
shaved
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h025.html
movie revue
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h026.html
gas meter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h027.html
an umbrella
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h028.html
implants
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h029.html
________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
drums of thunder
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9978.html
CAKE
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9979.html
hand art
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9980.html
the welder
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9981.html
rally sport jump gone bad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9982.html
a bad idea!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9983.html
______________
global warming
POWER PONT DISPLAYS
Siamese...for the guys
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd259.html
accidents
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd260.html
Q. Why should you wear ribbed condoms for anal sex?
A. Better traction in the mud.
Q. What's the difference between men and government bonds?
A. Bonds mature.
Q. What is the only game in which the more you lose,
the more you have to show for it?
A. Strip Poker
___________
WHAT A GUY SHOULD NOT SAY AFTER SEX
"I was kidding about being sterile, you know."
"Do you always fart like that when someone shoves it in?"
"How come it's so BIG in there?"
"You've done this with a lotta guys before, right?"
"Next time I come over, don't bother with the underwear, OK?"
(Sniff, sniff) "Is that CAT food?"
(Yelling) "OK guys, it's a wrap, cut, and print it!!"
"You are great in bed, but your sister gives better head!"
___________
A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a
convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels.
When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a
union house?""No,'"she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."
"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20,'"she answered.
Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off
down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully
unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached
a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this is a
union house. We observe all union rules."
The man asked, "And, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."
"That's more like it!" the union man said.
He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to
a stunningly attractive green-eyed blonde.
"I'd like her," he said.
"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam. Then she gestured to a
92-year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 67 years
seniority and according to union rules, she's next.'"
_____________
young woman had been taking golf lessons.
She had just started playing her first round
of golf when she suffered a bee sting.
Her pain was so intense that she decided to
return to the clubhouse for help and to complain.
Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse
and asked, 'Why are you back in so early,?
What's wrong. ?'
I was stung by a bee', she said.
Where', he asked.
Between the first and second hole', she replied.
He nodded knowingly and said,
'Then your stance is too wide.'
__________________
A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting
married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit
worried about how their sex life would get started, she made
them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a
few words on how marital sex felt.The first daughter sent a card
from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing
but "Nescafe". Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the
kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said "Good till the
last drop". Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
The second daughter sent a card from Vermont a week after the
wedding and the card read "Benson & Hedges". Mom now knew to go
straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the Benson
& Hedges package "Extra Long King Size". She was again slightly
embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.
The third daughter left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean.
Mom waited for a week......Nothing. Another week went by and
still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.
Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "American Airlines".
Mom took out her latest Guardian magazine, flipped through the pages
fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for American Airlines.
The ad said "Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways."
Mom fainted!!!!!
______________
BUFFALO BILL
Midgey
http://www.buffaloschips.com/abjhuh.htm
Momma Is Santa
http://www.buffaloschips.com/agfrtt.htm
Morning Peepers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfgff.htm
________________
FUN PAGES
Maze Stopper
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41753&s=n
Desk Top Fishing
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41570&s=n
Killer Bugs
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41428&s=n
Lions Eat Sloth
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=34737&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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