Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
How is your computer running? It's been warm out there this
summer and not a lot of relief in sight till autumn. I hear a lot of
complaints lately that my computer is running slow or even freezing
totally up and it's only a year old. We usually suspect malware
because yes those little parasite can stop a computer dead but heat
has been causing problems long before malware.
A modern computer has multiple heat sensors that will automatically
slow down the CPU to prevent overheating and damage and
when it gets past that point it will shut down the CPU.
Rather than taking your computer to the Geek Squad and spending 100
bucks or so to fix what ever problems they claim you have, it is
much easier and cheaper to unplug the computer remove the cover, and
clean it out. You will need a can of compressed air, 4-10 dollars
depending on the source, and I like a small natural
bristled brush, usually found in the 99 cent bin in the paint dept.
of Ace Hardware. Do not use a vacuum cleaner as that may create
static electricity which will damage sensitive components or
actually suck small things like jumpers right off of the board.
Instead we use the brush to gently loosen up dirt and dust and the
can of compressed air to blow it out of the machine. We NEVER use
that cute little tube that is taped to the side of the can. It is
fine
for blowing pizza crumbs from a keyboard but the velocity on
a motherboard can actually blow capacitors etc off of a
motherboard.
You want to concentrate on cleaning the CPU fan and heat exchanger
and the same if installed on your graphics card and your power
supply. Dust is attracted to heat so the hotspots on your computer
will collect the most dust.
Location Location Location. If you have a dozen cats and your
CPU sits on the floor, you can figure on doing it a couple of times
a
year. The same goes for computer desks with small cubby holes for
the CPU. Mine sits higher than my monitor and gets cleaned twice
a year at least.
If you have a notebook computer, you will have to look online for
directions for cleaning but you can help things but using a cooling
pad or a hard surface to set it on. If you set it on your clothes or
sheets it will suck up lint and it only takes a thin coat for your
computer to
overheat.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Heaven Chips
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Sister Margaret had been a Nun all her life. Then she was called to
her reward. As she approached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter said,
"Hold on, Sister Margaret; not so fast!"
"But I have been good all my life and dedicated to the work of the
Lord from the time I was taken in as an infant by the sisters at the
Convent to my dying breath. I have lived for this moment!" Sister
Margaret exclaimed in disbelief.
"That is just the problem," replied St. Peter. "You never learned
right from wrong and, to get into Heaven, you must know the
difference between right and wrong.
"Well, what can I do? I will do anything to get into Heaven!" Sister
Margaret pleaded.
"I am going to have to send you back down to Earth. When you get
there I want you to smoke a cigarette and call me when you are
finished. We will discuss your situation then," ordered St. Peter.
Sister Margaret returned to Earth, smoked a Camel, and then
immediately called St. Peter, coughing and hacking. "Saint Peter"
she gasped, "I can hardly breathe, my mouth tastes terrible, my
breath stinks, I feel dizzy, and I think I am going to throw up."
"Good!" replied the old Saint. "Now you are finally getting a feel
for right and wrong. Now go out tonight and drink some hard liquor
and call me when you are ready."
Sister Margaret phoned St. Peter immediately after having several
belts of Jack Daniel's. "Saint Peter.......I feel woozy. That vile
liquor burned my throat and nauseated me. It is all I can do to keep
it down."
"Good, good! Now you are starting to see the difference between
right and wrong," said St. Peter with delight. "Tomorrow I want you
to seek out a man and know him in the Biblical sense. You know, Have
sex with him, afterward, call me."
Two weeks passed before Sister Margaret called St. Peter and left a
message:
"Yo, Pete, It's Peggy.........It's gonna be a while
Juanita
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Skunk Chips
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A woman had a pet skunk which was a devoted pet to her for years.
One day the skunk died. The woman didn't know what to do at first,
as she lived in an apartment and she had no place in the yard to
bury her pet.
So she decided to give the pet a proper burial out in the country.
She didn't have a car, so she planned on taking a bus to the edge of
town, then walking from there to some good site.
She got on the bus and sat down behind the driver. About this time,
the skunk wasn't keeping too well, so the woman held the skunk at
arm's length. The driver noticed the smell right away, but he kept
on driving for several blocks. He next opened the window, but that
didn't help.
Finally, he pulled the bus to the curb, and turned around, and said:
"Will the woman with rhe stinking pussy please get off the bus?"
14 women got off.
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Kilt Chips
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A Scottish couple was walking across the meadows. The girl looked
at the guy and shyly asked, "Would you like to hold my hand?"
"Uh...well yes." the boy said, "But how did you know?"
She said, "By the gleam in your eye."
They walked a little further and the girl said, "Would you like to
kiss me?"
"Oh, my yes!" replied the boy, "But how did you know?"
She said, "By the gleam in your eye."
As they got to the stream, they sat on a stump, the girl looked at
the boy and asked, "Would you like to go all the way with me?"
"Well, oh, my gosh, yes! (gulp) Yes! But how did you know? By the
gleam in my eye?"
"No," replied the girl, "by the TILT IN YOUR KILT."
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Singing Chips
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The gig was just about ready to start when the band leader called
the female singer over and said:
"Listen, tonight we're going to begin the set with 'April in Paris',
but I want to do it a little differently. We'll start in the key of
G for the first four bars, then modulate to B-flat for the next
eight bars, change the meter to 3/4 for six bars, then pick up the
tempo to Allegro for twelve bars, then modulate to F-sharp for eight
bars, change the meter back to
4/4 and slow down to Rubato for four bars, play a tacet for four
bars, modulate up to D-flat for eight bars..."
"HEY, HOLD ON!" the girl said. "I can't do stuff like that without
rehearsal!"
He said, "Why not? You've been doing it all fuckin' week long!"
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Short Chips
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Maury and Pauly were at the bar again, exchanging confidences after
their 6th beer: "You know," says Maury, " I been married 23 years,
and I'm still in love with the same woman I had my first sex with."
"'At's wonnerful," replies Pauly.
"Just don't say anything about it to my wife," continues Maury, "if
she ever found out about it, she'd kill me!"
To get acquainted with his new parish, the new Priest decided to
call on a new parishioner every day until he got to know most of
them.
One day he selected a young widow, whose husband, according to the
index card supplied him by the parish office, had died two years
ago.
After knocking at the door, he was greeted by a young lady with a
baby in her arms.
He said, "I'm sorry, I must have the wrong address, I was looking
for the widow Smith."
"You've found her Father," smiled the lady.
"Well, according to the card here, it says your husband died over
two years ago." he said glancing at the baby in her arms.
"That's correct Father," she replied. "He surely did. But I
didn't."
My son had just turned 15 when I finally decided to talk to him
about sex. To ensure private time, I brought him on a ski trip and
began our talk on the chair lift so he couldn't escape. "Do you
know about girls and babies?" I asked. He nodded but cut me off.
The next ride up the ski lift, I brought it up again, only to have
him look away in silence.
On the third trip, already knowing I had waited too long, I bluntly
asked, "Son, would you like to talk about sex?"
"Gee, Dad," he responded, "is that all you ever think about?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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These offers are only for special groups like the Herd.
There are special prices on computers, laptops. monitors
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Carol
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John w/ Cool Water ~Roy Rogers~
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Mountain Biking
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Surfin Surfari
Stinging Jellyfish
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Drawing Lessons Via Wesley
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Peeps - Everybody's Favorite Via Wesley
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How to Make a Non-Toxic Cleaning Kit Via Wesley
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Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
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morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Shutdown problems
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FlashCard Database
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Kitty Korner
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Lobster Chips
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Two lobsters were sunbathing on the beach. The girl lobster
suggested that the boy lobster go get them an ice cream cone.
Having purchased two cones, Mr Lobster made his way back to the
beach, deciding on the way to eat his ice cream. By the time he had
finished the ice cream, he realized that his girlfriend's had
started to melt all down his claw, so he licked it up and ended up
eating it too.
When he arrived back at the beach Ms Lobster exclaimed, "Where's my
ice cream cone?
"Well", he said. "I decided to eat mine, then yours melted so I ate
that too."
She was incensed and cried "You shellfish bastard!!"
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Toon Chips
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blonde bull
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Limerick Chips
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"A sermon", thought Father O'Flynn,
"I should write 'bout The Evils Of Sin...
But my mind is a blank,
So I'll sit here and wank,
'Til some new inspirations begin."
His housekeeper, taken aback,
Cried, "Oh Father! It's sinful to wack!"
So she whipped off her scanties,
(Her bra and her panties)
And guided him into her crack.
"Lord Jesus!" cried Father O'Flynn,
"Inspiration at last to begin!"
As his housekeeper dribbled
He grabbed paper and scribbled
His sermon: 'The Pleasures Of Sin'.
<Snagged by>
Ross
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Parting Chips
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A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure
the nurse comes in and take his vitals, then tells him to take all
of his clothes off. When he is fully undressed she instructs him to
lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then takes all of
her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with him. Upon
the completion of the act the man catches his breath and asks what
that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that studies have
shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an ejaculation, he
will be more relaxed and that the vasec is easier for the surgeon to
locate and sever. The nurse then wheels the patient to the operating
room. While they are going down the hall the patient sees six men
in a room jerking-off. Curious, the man asks "What are they doing in
there"? The nurse responds, "They are getting vasectomies too, but
you have Blue Cross and they have Obama Care."
Kent
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1845
What a Knight
The dogs are in the backyard. It is evening time and everyone has
had
supper. Dad is in town and everyone is relaxed.
Sandi: What is that book you have there Rudy?
Rudy: Oh it is nothing. It is just a little thing, it is about the
knights
of the roundtable, King Arthur and such. It is pretty good reading.
Katie: Ah the days of fair... when ladies had men to be their
knights and
slay dragons for them.
Val trembling: Dragons?
Sandi: It is just lore and fables.
They chat about the medevil days until they fall asleep... and
dream...
Sir Rudy: Forsooth fair maiden where doesth thou goeth?
Sandi: I am seeking shelter from the dragon of the wood my lord.
Sir Rudy: Where is this dragon and I will slay it?
Sandi: It is just over the hill. Several knights have already
given their
lives to try and kill it.
Katie: Sir Knight, I am a famous wizard and perhaps with my
apprentice
here we can eliminate this threat.
Val: I hate being called an apprentice.
to be continued
The herd
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Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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