Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I had a really good night last night. It was our TOPS summer
picnic and I lost 3.5 pounds for the week which put my program
back on track as I am into territory I haven't seen since 2005.
I even decided to walk back from an appointment downtown
the other night which is about a half mile. Good exercise but
my ankles ached the next day along with my knees and one
hip. Then last night when I was doing the lists I shifted in my
chair and threw my back out. I've spent as much time as
possible today but it still is really stiff and sore.
Enjoy the chips
buffalo
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Text Chips
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Understanding Geriatric Text Messaging
DYRS = Do You Remember Sex?
MWIIACWC = My Wife Is In A Coma, Wanna Cyber?
TVKI = The Viagra's Kicking In
ITAC = Is This A Computer?
GoL = Grandchild on Lap
N911 = Nurse Alert
420 = Dinner Time
IOMM = I'm Off My Meds
MGIAQ = My Grandson Is A Queer
SYHFUMA = Shove Your Hummel Figurine Up My Ass
FOLS = Fond of Leathery Skin
DiR = Death In Room
TYDO = Take Your Depends Off
LMIRLABE = Let's Meet In Real Life At Bob Evans
OSMGISUMWC = One Second, My Grandson Is Setting Up My Web
Cam
MPHWHJ = My Parkinsons Helps With Hand Jobs
TCS = The Catheter Stings
WYWM = Will You Wipe Me?
LSMSSCOW = Let's Spend My Social Security Check On Whores
WMBRB = Watching Matlock, Be Right Back
LDOMC = Lay Down On My Craftmatic
KADC = Knitting A Dildo Cozy
LMG = Lost My Glasses
RU/81 = Are You Over 81?
WSTMO = Willard Scott Turns Me On
PRUN = Prunes
LYWMGUO = Leave Your Wal-Mart Greeter Uniform On
IFTWPA = I Forgot To Wear Pants Again
LLP = Let's Lemon Party
Ross
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
make it rise
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redneck baby chair
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Ship wrecked Chips
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A man has been shipwrecked on a desert island for ten years. Then
one day he is down at the shoreline when he spots a ship on the
horizon. He frantically waves his arms and jumps up and down
shouting, until hespies a rowboat being let down into the water from
the ship. About ten minutes later the rowboat reaches the shore
carrying a man in a captain's uniform.
"Thank Christ for that!" says our shipwrecked hero, "I thought I was
never going to be rescued."
"How long have you been here?" asks the Captain.
"Ten years, ten long years" replies the man.
"Ten years?" says the Captain "How have you coped all that time on
your own?"
"Well, I'm quite a resourceful fellow, I've built my own house;
there it is, over there, Number 1!"
"But ten years!" says the Captain, "ten years without sex!"
"Ahhhh, well..... that's not quite true" says the man shyly.
"What do you mean?" inquires the Captain.
"Well, about six years ago I was down here on the shore washing my
feet, when I noticed an ostrich up the beach with it's head buried
in the sand and it's ass facing me. Well, I thought it's been nine
and a half years, so I crept up behind it and WALLOP!"
"Oh God, that must have been disgusting!" cries the genuinely
shocked Captain.
"Well, it was alright for the first five miles, but then we got out
of step. Over the years though, we've managed to make it around the
island every couple days."
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Golf Chips
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Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game. And for the
third week in a row, it was raining too hard to play.
Bill: Well, Bob, what do you want to do now?
Bob: Darts?
Bill: Nah.
Bob: Shoot some pool?
Bill: Nah.
Bob: Cards?
Bill: Nah. Hey, I've got an idea. We can go over to my house and
fool
around with my wife.
Bob: Whadaya mean?
Bill: Just what I said. We'll go to my house and we can fool around
with
my wife.
Bob: What about me?
Bill: She's a sport. She won't mind at all.
Bob: Well... if you think it's okay...
Bill: Sure. C'mon, let's go!
At Bill's house:
Bill: Honey, I'm home. Honey. Sweetheart! Damn! She must have gone
shopping. Tell ya what, Bob. Let's go to your house!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Little Johnny Chips
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One day Little Johnny went walking
around to check out his surroundings
and found a farmer selling chickens.
Little Johnny went over to the farmer
to see how much he was selling them for.
The farmer asked him if he wanted a
male or a female. Little Johnny asked
for both. So the farmer said, "Here you
go, one cock and one pullet."
Little Johnny got confused, and asked
him what he meant. The farmer said,
"A cock is a male chicken and a pullet
is a female chicken."
Little Johnny said, "Oh," and went on
his way with two chickens one under
each arm. A bit further down the road
he saw a donkey for sale.
He went to the man who was selling it
to find out how much it was. The
man said, "The ass is 15 dollars."
Little Johnny replied, "No, I want
the donkey out side in your yard."
The man just said, "That's an ass."
Little Johnny, new to these terms,
just said, "Oh," and bought the donkey.
As he was leaving the man yelled out,
"Wait, the ass gets a bit stubborn about
going over hills, so you have to scratch
him behind the ears to get him going
again."
So Little Johnny is going back home
and the donkey stops dead in its
tracks and he can't get it to move.
He can't scratch its ear because he
would have to drop one of the chickens
and it would run away.
So Little Johnny starts to fuss and yell
at the donkey. While he is doing this a
beautiful woman walks up and asks him
if he needs help.
(Little Johnny thinks, hey, why don't I try
to impress this beautiful woman by using
my new terms that I learned today.)
So Little Johnny turns to the woman and
says, "Yeah, could you hold my cock and
pullet while I scratch my ass?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
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A young woman was walking through a field gathering spring flowers.
She wore a sun dress, but no underwear.
When her husband came home for lunch she said she thought a bee
might have gotten trapped "up there" inside her. Her husband took
her to the emergency room.
The doctor said to the husband, "Let's rub some honey on your penis,
and maybe it will coax the bee out."
The husband, refusing, said, "Hey I'm no doctor! I brought her here
for professional help."
So the doctor rubs honey on his penis and inserts it into the woman.
The husband, next to her the entire time, sees that after awhile his
wife is starting to moan and sweat. He says, "Doctor, is it
working?"
The doctor, thrusting away, replies, "Coaxing it out didn't work.
So now I'm going to try to shoot it out."
Two Jewish businessmen met at a resort. One who had recently
retired was describing his life. "I get up late in the morning. I
have a fantastic breakfast and then I lie down on my veranda and
relax.
"I go inside for lunch, have great salads, the best coffee, and I go
out and lie on my veranda again. When it gets dark, I have a great
dinner with the finest wines. I smoke a Cuban cigar. Then I go lie
on my veranda again."
The other Jewish gentleman acknowledges that this is a life to be
envied.
Later he reported the conversation to his wife. She asked, "What's
his wife's name?"
Her husband said, "I'm not sure, but I think it's Veranda."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/High Country
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Misc_files/HC.html
John w/ All I Have To Do Is Dream
http://heavens-gates.com/50s/allihavetodoisdream/
MARLENE/SWEETER THEN THE FLOWERS
http://summerhoosier.250free.com/HTML6/SweeterTTF.html
BIBLE: Christianity
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/christianity.html
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Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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Surfin Surfari
Origin and Meaning of Golf Words and Terms
http://www.scottishgolfhistory.net/origin_of_golf_terms.htm
Who's Alive and Who's Dead
http://www.whosaliveandwhosdead.com/
emergency toilet roll Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/32lybth
warthog Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/24tk4fu
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Hide & Unhide Desktop Icons (windows ) Via Wesley
http://xrl.in/2t1f
Android Apps Directory Via Wesley
http://xrl.in/2sij
Add Your URL to Google
http://www.google.com/addurl.html
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
Kitty Korner
http://www.hcws.org/
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Movie Links
IKEA Adverts
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90203.htm
I love the beach
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90204.htm
Indian teacher explaining the word fuck
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90205.htm
Jihadist Trainees
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Jingle Balls
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Peanut Butter Jelly Time
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OK
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Oops
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Parent VS Kids
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsfsdj.htm
Parking 1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfsd.htm
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Organ Chips
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One Sunday our regular organist, an older man, had a bad case of the
flu
and asked his nephew, Bobby, to fill in for him. While Bobby was not
as
good as his uncle, he was still a passable musician. But what really
got
people's attention was that Bobby was a stunningly handsome man, and
so
ended up distracting many a young woman's mind from the hereafter to
what was, so to speak, over here.
Well, needless to say, these women were disappointed when the
regular
organist returned the next weekend, but kept up hope - while praying
for
forgiveness for wishing such a thing - that the old organist would
again
fall ill so they might again have thier favorite "substitute".
Things being as they may, and Ohio having chilly winters, the
organist
again caught the flu and asked his nephew to fill in. This time, one
of
the women, a buxom lass by name of Betty, took opportunity by the...
horn, and, intercepting him after church, asked him on a date.
So Betty and Bobby, being young and carefree, had a spectacular
first
date, where they connected in conversation, connected in dance, and,
well, connected back at his place.
But the next morning, while dressing, Betty seemed glum - and not
just
from a hangover. When Bobby asked, she said, rather bluntly, "You
didn't
warn me you had such a small organ."
Without missing a beat, Bobby smoothly replied, "You didn't warn me
I
would be playing in such a large cathedral."
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Free Estimates
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Can't Be Right
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Lift Your Leg
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Life Sucks
http://www.buffaloschips.com/v20.htm
Mackerel
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32821.htm
Male
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32822.htm
Chicken Shit
http://www.buffaloschips.com/41004.htm
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young person named Willie
Whose actions were what you'd call silly;
He went to a ball
Dressed in nothing at all
Pretending to represent Chile.
_________________________________
There Was A Young Nun From Peru
Whom The Bishop Wanted To Screw,
But She Said 'The Vicar
Is Quicker And Slicker,
And Three Inches Longer Than You.'
_________________________________
There was a young man of L'Hore
Whose dink was one inch and no more
Which was all right for keyholes
And little girls' pee holes
But no good at all with a whore
<Snagged by>
Ross
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
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A woman was going to marry one of those guys that wants a virgin
bride.
Since she was not, she went to a doctor to reconstruct her hymen.
The doctor told her that would cost around $500, but there was
another way that will cost only $50.
The woman agreed to try the cheap way, paid the money, and the
doctor worked on her for several minutes.
After the "first night", the woman came back to the doctor and told
him that it was perfect. The pain, the blood, everything was there.
She asked him how he did it.
"I tied your pubic hair together," he answered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1850
Salt Mine
Rudy: Wow the salt doesn't taste like salt. Ptoey!
BJ: It needs to be refined first silly.
Sandi: We learn things all the time Rudy.
Katie: When do we get to the movie stuff?
Diana: I think we are just about there.
Val: Yay! I want to see the movie stuff!
Soon the group departs the electric cars and head, in a rush,
towards the movie storage area.
Rudy: Look the Men in Black guns..
Katie: I like the Wizard of Oz collection.
Diana: It is all pretty cool.
After everyone checks it out, they head back to the elevator and
take
the rush back up.
BJ: Everyone like it?
Rudy: Yeah!
Sandi: I am hungry.
The end
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Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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