Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
From The Archives since it is haying season Tractors Continued,
After the first summer of farming the F-20 died. It was in need of
an overhaul and new tires so it was beyond economical repair at that
time. My dad found a John Deere GP to replace it . Most of you
have seen a GP as it is the tractor shown at the beginning of Green
Acres except ours was green with a red flywheel on the side. The
John Deere had a hand clutch unlike the foot clutch on the Farmall
which my short legs couldn't reach at ten and so now I could drive a
tractor. The John Deere had a two cylinder engine with huge pistons
and a long stroke and you could hear one coming from a mile away
with its characteristic pucka pucka pucka sound. At idle the engine
ran so slow you could put it in gear, go in the house and get a cup
of coffee and catch it before it got to the driveway. One thing
that a lot of tractors didn't have back then was brakes. They had
come equipped with them but they had worn out over the years and to
replace them sometimes meant splitting the tractor in half. If you
were hooking up to a piece of machinery on an incline you learned to
let gravity back you up and then slipped the clutch in forward gear
until someone dropped the drawbar pin in. I never could understand
why so many people have trouble holding a car on an incline with the
clutch but then I had good training.
About that time my dad bought a second tractor, an Oliver 60 with a
foot clutch, a starter, and a 4 cylinder Chevy motor. It was a lot
lighter than the John Deere but it would mow or rake hay all day on
a 5 gallon can of gas. It had a foot clutch but I could reach it
with my foot. My dad was showing me in the front yard how to work
the clutch. I put it in reverse and started backing up towards the
house and as I got close I reached for the hand clutch and their was
none. I had forgotten about the foot clutch in about 20 seconds.
My dad was screaming to hit the clutch and finally a fraction of an
inch from the house I got the tractor stopped. I spent a lot of my
time on that tractor as my dad didn't sell it till after I was in
the navy.
Every farmer had a small tractor like that mostly the Ford 8N that
was used everyday do the smaller jobs around the farm. Even though
gas was only 20 cents a gallon back then you still didn't waste it.
The Oliver is still around. The plant supervisor at the flywheel
factory owns it and bought it to use at his cabin.
The John Deere was replaced with a Farmall F-30 when we bought our
first baler with its own 4 cylinder motor on it. The John Deere was
running a sawmill in a near by town when I last heard of it. When
we started baling hay we also bought a side delivery rake, 7 foot
mowers, and some newer wagons and we were cutting hay several miles
from the house. The Farmall had a road gear installed on it which
was a big gear that went on the engine and a small gear that went on
the neutral shaft on the transmission. When you put it in neutral
and engaged the road gear you could pull two loaded wagons at 25
miles per hour. We had a couple of steep hills on our road, one of
which had a narrow bridge at the bottom, and I was instructed to put
the tractor in a lower gear on the hills. I was pulling two wagons
full of hay with my brother on the second wagon watching for cars so
I could slow down and let them pass. My dad was following along
with the 1960 Chevy pick-up we had keeping an eye on me even though
I was almost 18 at that time. At the top of the hill with the
bridge instead of downshifting I gave it full throttle and headed
for the bridge.
When I went across the back wagon with my brother on it was whipping
from side to side so bad that it was scraping the bales against the
rails of the bridge. At the top of the hill I slowed down a little
bit and my dad came around the wagons and tried to cut me off. I
could tell by the look on his face that I didn't really want to talk
to him right then and I sped up and he was forced to get out of my
way. When we got to the house I expected an argument and a boot in
the butt which I probably deserved. My dad surprised me and
declared me an adult as he had been at my age and expected me to
make adult decisions in the future. My dad was brilliant. Instead
of being able to fall back on being just a dumb kid or a crazy
teenager, I was now a man and was expected to behave like one.
I still may never grow up completely but I did start thinking more
about what my dad would think if I made a mistake. Even now when I
do something stupid, I think that I am glad my dad isn't here to see
it even though I know he is probably still watching.
I'll wrap this up tomorrow and we will find something new to talk
about. Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Message Chips
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4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I
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7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing
system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive
a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by
your PC for my response.
9. I've run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical
reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of
Steve.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Old Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An old widow and widower named Mary and Steve get married.
They are up there in age, and the romance, engagement and marriage
was quick. They hoped they had enough strength to live through
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She asks him, "What are you waiting for?"
Steve quickly replies, "You know what I want. Take it off and throw
it over here!"
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Short Chips
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The locale was a nudist colony. The boy and the girl weTeacher turns
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no, but harassment yes!"
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Little Red was seen going into the woods with a small package and a
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Little Red replied, "Because I just can't get a man."
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"Don't be so silly," Red said, "I know that. I went in the woods
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couldn't find it."
Goodwill Jen said, "I don't understand what you're talking about."
Little Red replied, "Well, I went there to catch a couple of owls.
I took some dead mice and a bird cage."
"So, how's that gonna help you get a man?" asked Jen.
Little Red said, "Well, I heard the best way to get a man is to have
a good pair of hooters."
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Short Chips
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Rustic Ron stared at the bellhop in disbelief. "A
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I was visiting my parents with my new husband, a
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"I was explaining that I can't wear my wedding
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And she said, "Well, can't you wear it on a chain around your neck?"
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Worse Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bad: You can't find your vibrator.
Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it.
Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room.
Worse: You're in it.
Bad: Your children are sexually active.
Worse: With each other.
Bad: Your husband's a crossdresser.
Worse: He looks better than you.
Good: Your son developed an interest in religion.
Bad: He's involved in Satanism.
Worse: As a sacrifice.
Bad: Your wife wants a divorce.
Worse: She's a lawyer.
Bad: Your wife's leaving you.
Worse: For another woman.
Bad: Your wife's leaving you.
Worse: To enter a convent.
Bad: Your wife's arrested for soliciting.
Worse: She implicates you.
Good: Hot outdoor sex.
Bad: You're arrested.
Worse: By your husband.
Good: The secretary said "yes."
Bad: Your wife says "no."
Worse: The secretary gets pregnant
Good: The teacher likes your son.
Bad: Sexually.
Worse: He's gay.
Good: You came home for a quickie.
Bad: Your wife walks in.
Good: You get a three-day weekend.
Bad: You get the flu on Friday.
Good: You go to see a strip show.
Bad: Your daughter's the striper
Good: Your boyfriend's exercising.
Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes.
Worse: He looks better than you do in them.
Good: Your car conveniently "runs out of gas."
Bad: For real.
Worse: It's 25 miles to the nearest gas station.
Good: Your child's "waiting for Mr. Right".
Bad: Your son, that is.
Worse: He finds Mr. Right.
Good: Your daughter's on the Pill.
Bad: She's ten
Good: Your neighbour exercises in the nude.
Bad: She weighs 350 pounds.
Good: Your son's doing extra credit work.
Bad: Making a sex ed video.
Worse: He's the star of it.
Good: Your uncle leaves you a fortune.
Bad: It's counterfeit.
Worse: You're arrested for passing one of the bills.
Good: Your wife bought a porn video.
Bad: Your daughter's the star.
Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex.
Bad: You live downtown.
Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude.
Bad: She's coming home.
Good: Your wife's kinky.
Bad: With the neighbours.
Worse: All of them.
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Toon Chips
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Experience
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fake O
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I came first
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Fuckin A
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Pooh Chips
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"Bother," said Pooh. "I need a Zoloft."
"Bother," said Pooh, "it's your husband, and he has a gun."
"Bother," said Pooh, "Piglet tastes like chicken."
"Bother," said Pooh. "I'm a boneless bear."
"Bother," said Pooh, "There's nothing in the closet today but
Zena-wear."
"Bother," said Pooh, "Piglet is giving me heartburn."
"Bother," said Pooh, "I seem to have misplaced my favorite crack
pipe again."
"Bother," said Pooh. "Is it still considered bestiality even if you
didn't enjoy it?"
"Bother," said Pooh, "We are Winnie of Pooh. Resistance is futile.
Your Hunny will be assimilated."
""Botehr" siad Pooh. "Mi Dylsexic,:
"Bother," sad Pooh. "Where did I leave my gawdammd Ritalin?"
"Bother," said Pooh. "Who put the nipple rings on Eyore?"
"Bother," said Pooh, "Ph'nglui mglw'nath Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl
fhtagn."
"Bother," said Pooh. "These fatigues are chafing me so."
"Bother," said Pooh, "my right breast is leaking."
"Bother" said Pooh. "Go on..." said the psychiatrist.
"Bother," said Pooh. "Crap."
"Bother" said Pooh, "I feel like I have a tree up my bum."
"Bother," said Pooh "Is that my prostate?"
"Bother," said Pooh. "I seem to have found the librarian's G spot."
"Bother," said Pooh, "I lost the handcuff keys in the hunny tree."
"Bother," said Pooh. "The burritoes gave me gas."
"Bother," said Piglet. "Stand upwind of P-p-p-pooh!"
"Bother," said Eeyore, "Poooooh's flatulent aaaahgain."
"Bother," said Pooh. "Christopher Robin had another one of THOSE
dreams again. This might not wash out."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chaz has always had a special way with the ladies. He is a regular
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Chaz slithered up next to this gorgeous babe, turned to her and
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"Why, thank you!" replied the complimented hotty.
"Of course," continued Chaz, "if I was on you ... I would becoming
too!"
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1835
Katie Dreams
Katie after eating some snacks goes to sleep on father's bed and
falls
asleep. She dreams.....
She is in Caldwell... There are explosions in the air, she is
wearing a
world war II helmet and full army gear.
Rudy barks at her: Keep your butt down, do you want to get it shot
off?
Katie shaking: What is going on here?
Rudy: War, it's war man.
Katie: But I am just a frilly girl.
Rudy: Shape up, there are a hundred of us out here and maybe a
thousand of them out there wanting to kill you.
Katie: Gulp! Can I take my vacation now?
Rudy: If we win, you can take a few days off. If we lose you take
take eternity to rest.
Katie: Whine...
Boom!
Sandi comes in to the picture: The enemy is breaching Fort Daddy
what do you want us to do?
Rudy: Fort Daddy! We have to counter attack, we live or die today.
Katie: Whimper.
Katie! Katie?
Katie!
Katie, Wake up, you are having a bad dream.
Katie: Oh dear it was horrible. Am I really home in Guthrie?
BJ: Of course.
Katie: Is Fort Daddy safe?
BJ: What?
Katie: Oh, nevermind.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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