THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Honk if you love peace and quiet
_____________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
If you live in Philadelphia or thereabouts, you will most
likely be looking at some 100 degree days for the next day or so.
In Houston, it will be a little better, with temps
just a tad under 90 for the next 48hrs. Actually,
you might like Honalulu which will boast of mid 80's
temps. Here in beautiful West Michigan, we will, as of today,
hit our 3rd day of 90 degree temperature. Not that I like
to run around all grubby, mind you, but of late, I have had many
more showers than average. Let me tell u. It feels like
I am sticky even while in the airconditioning. Fortunately
for me, I have no major reason to venture afar today to find
out if the weather man is accurate in his predictions. All
the transit riders will be happy because the city will issue an ozone
action day when temps top the 90 mark, which means essentially
that you can ride the bus for free. They do have several places
set up around town designated as cool off zones also, supposedly
where u can go if u need a refuge from the heat. Whatever you
do, stay cool, stay hydrated and take care of your selves!
Be safe!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________
THE COMICS
a bad day
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f020.html
superdad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f021.html
police artist
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f022.html
redneck airlines
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f023.html
not allowed!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f024.html
lovers leap
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f025.html
off off off
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f026.html
dick
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f027.html
insomnia
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f028.html
error
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f029.html
________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
a jump
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9899.html
pepsi
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9900.html
How To Make Sure You Lose In Court
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9901.html
hallway stunt
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9902.html
Funny Accident
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9903.html
"Hi, Mom. How are you?"
"Hi, Sally. Where are you? I thought you were with
your father at the Ace Hardware?"
"Yes, I was, but I got arrested, and they've let
me make one phone call." "What happened?"
"Oh, I punched this African-American woman in the head."
"What on earth...? Why did you do that?"
"It wasn't my fault! Dad told me to find a Black & Decker."
_____________
The Sunday before Christmas, a pastor told his congregation
that the church needed some extra money.
He asked the people to consider donating a little more
than usual into the offering plate. He said that whoever
gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.
After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced
down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in the offering.
He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his
congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person
who placed the money in the plate. A very quiet, elderly,
saintly looking lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand.
The pastor asked her to come to the front.
Slowly she made her way to the pastor.
He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and
in thanks asked her to pick out three hymns.
Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation,
pointed to the three most handsome men in the building and said,
"I'll take him and him and him."
____________
A young woman had been taking golf lessons.
She had just started playing her first round of golf when she
suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided
to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain.
Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked,
"Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?"
"I was stung by a bee", she said.
"Where", he asked.
"Between the first and second hole", she replied.
He nodded knowingly and said, "Then your stance is too wide."
____________
When the Software industry had badly gone downhill, three
software giants, Sun, SCO(UNIX), and Microsoft started
producing condoms and named them Java-condom, CondomiX,
and MS-Condoms Vista respectively.
A customer using Java-condom complained to Sun that the
condom didn't fit correctly.
Sun replied: "Wait till we get the ISO standard."
They boasted that it would fit any size irrespective
of the underlying structure.
Well, the customer switched to CondomiX and found that by
the time he would finish reading the instructions given along
with it, his wife would fall asleep, and he himself would
forget why he was using CondomiX.
Finally, he switched to MS-Condoms Vista.
To his surprise it was so good..... and comfortable!
He used it happily.
Six months later, he found that his wife was pregnant.
He got angry and complained to Microsoft.
He got the following reply from Microsoft:
A PATCH IS COMING SOON!
____________
A family was supposed to stay the night at a hotel, but
there was a screw-up with the rooms, so Grandpa had to
sleep in the same bed as the 15-year old grandson.
In the middle of the night Grandpa woke up and shouted:
"Quick! Get me a woman, Fast!!"
The grandson moaned: "Please, Grandpa, calm down. First,
it's three o'clock in the morning, and you'll never find a
woman at this hour. Second, you're 82 years old, and third,
that's MY dick you're holding...not yours."
____________
BUFFALO BILL
Italian Chewing Gum
http://www.buffaloschips.com/akloo.htm
Dead or Alive Holly Vance
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aghy.htm
James David Manning
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ahjik.htm
____________
FUN PAGES
Jewel Match
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41737&s=n
Desert Race
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41616&s=n
Crazy Tyre
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38554&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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