Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I just acquired a Chevy Pick-up in a trading deal with Brother
Don. I have wanted a pick-up since I got rid of my Ford F100
back in 1985 and I have never really been happy with the Ford
Explorer so now Don has it. Not that there is anything wrong
with it, it just wasn't designed to be comfortable for a buffalo.
I had to slide over and put my seatbelt on before I closed the
door or there was no room to get my hand between me and
the console. A full size Chevy is more like sitting at home on
your couch.
Went to the Secretary of State office and I had never had problems
registering a vehicle that someone had signed off the title on
and then the buyer had resold it before retitling it, as they had
always accepted a Bill of Sale from the intermediate owner.
Not anymore, I had to title it with Don as a co-owner so I had
to go down to his work and take him to the SOS office and then
10 days from now I can drop him when the new title comes in.
That way they make sure you get taxed twice and pay all of the
title fees.
Anyhow in the future when I reference the Jimmy I will be referring
to the Suburban and when I say the Chevy it will refer to the
pick-up
even though they are the same until you get to the sheet metal
Oh and the Chevy starts with a screwdriver but I have a new ignition
lock for it but the explorer has a bolt attached to a cable to open
the
hood so it was a fair trade.
Have a good weekend ... buffalo
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Little Johnny Chips
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In biology class the teacher asks, "Can anyone tell me why a
flounder is flat?"
Little Johnny raises his hand.
"Go ahead, Little Johnny."
"My uncle told me it's because a whale raped the flounder."
"That's terrible, Little Johnny. I'll have to speak to your parents
about this. Let's try another one. Why does a lobster's eyes
protrude from its head?"
Again Little Johnny raises his hand.
"We'll give you another chance."
"My uncle said when the whale raped the flounder, the lobster saw
it, and his eyes popped out in shock."
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Dying Chips
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Ralph returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has
told him he only has 24 hous to live.
Given the prognosis, Ralph asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she
agrees, and they make love.
About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says,
"Honey, you know I only have 18 hours to live. Could we please do
it one more time?"
Of course, the wife agrees and they do it again. Later as Ralph
gets in to bed, he looks at his watch and realizes he only has 8
hours left.
He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, " Honey, please...just one
more time before I die?"
She says, "Of course, dear." And they make love for the third time.
After this session the wife rolls over and falls asleep.
Ralph, however, worried about his impending death, tosses & turns
until he's down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses.
"Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could...?
At this point his wife sits up and says, "Listen Ralph, I have to
get up in the morning...You don't."
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After watching a rather hot love scene on cable, the husband looked
over at his wife and said, "How come you never make love to me like
that?"
"Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea how much they pay those
people to do that?"
Whenever I come home from playing golf, my son always asks me
excitedly, "Did you win, Dad?" I have explained to him time and time
again that you're really just playing against yourself.
We were on vacation and I had gone out to play a round. When I
returned, the kids were swimming in the hotel pool, which was full
of kids and surrounded by dozens of parents.
From across the pool, at the top of his lungs, my son yelled, "Hey
Dad! Did you have fun playing with yourself?"
We checked out that night.
A bloke and his wife went to a family planning clinic. "We've been
married for ten years and we've got no kids," said the husband.
'And the next-door neighbors say it's because we're stupid.'
"Nonsense," smiled the doctor. "It's probably to do with your diet.
Or it might be a question of timing. How many times a week do you
do it?"
"Do what?" asked the wife.
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Accident Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The other day I was walking down Main Street when I suddenly
heard car tires screeching behind me. I turned around and saw a
car just as it was running down a woman at a pedestrian
crossing. Not extremely hard, but enough to knock her to the
ground in front of the car.
The driver jumped out of the car in a panic and ran up to the
woman to check if she was ok. She was not bleeding or anything
but seemed a little dizzy. He shook her slightly, but the woman
still seemed to have a hard time focusing. So he asked her:
"Are you all right, are you all right?"
"I don't know," she answered.
"Are you in pain?"
"No, but . . . I can't see."
"This can't be true!, of course you can see!" the man shouted.
"No, I can't see!, I can't see a thing!"
So the man got a little desperate, held up three fingers in
front of her, looked her straight in the eyes and said:
"How many fingers do you see?"
"I can't see any!" she cried "I've gone blind!"
"But you can't be blind." he cried desperately, "Tell me you
aren't blind. You can't turn blind this way."
"I don't know about that, but I still can't see" she replied.
To check out if she was just losing consciousness, or if she
really had gone blind he desperately shook his hand, still three
fingers up, in front of her face and said:
"How many fingers up?"
And she replied:
"Ah shit!, I'm paralyzed as well."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young fellow named Simon,
Who tried to discover a hymen,
But he found every girl,
Had relinquished her pearl
In exchange for a solitaire diamond.
There was a young lady from Wheeling
Who professed to no sexual feeling
Til a cynic named Boris
Just touched her clitoris
And she had to be scraped off the ceiling
There once was a man named Mort
Whose dick was incredibly short
When he climbed into bed
His lady friend said
"That's not a dick it's a wart."
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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These offers are only for special groups like the Herd.
There are special prices on computers, laptops. monitors
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Love
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Insp/Love.html
Marlene/I can only Imagine
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Christian The Lion
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Are Angels Real?
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Surfin Surfari
Barbie.com - Activities and Games for Girls Online!
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Tech Horror Stories
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Top Secret America | washingtonpost.com Via Wesley
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Container City via Wesley
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
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morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Sigs
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Online File Storage
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High Resolution Wallpaper
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Rarely Seen Babies
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Movie Links
Never Smash WD-40 can
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New product Nut
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New Shoes
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Bad Weld
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Bambi
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Baxter Black So Lucky To be An American
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Bending Trial
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Bobcat
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Train Chips
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This is a transcript between a commuter and the railroad company,
regarding services of the latter.
"Gentlemen: I have been riding trains daily for the last twenty-two
years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every
day.
I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip.
I
think the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people
2,000 years ago.
Yours truly, A Commuter"
The Reply to the above:
"Dear Sir: We received your letter with reference to the
shortcomings
of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your
history.
The only mode of transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot.
Sincerely, Western Railways"
And the Counter-Reply was:
"Gentlemen: I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the
ones who are confused in your history. If you will refer to the
Bible,
Book of David, 9th Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to town
on
his ass... That, gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do
on
your train in the last twenty-two years!
Yours truly, A Commuter"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
blind les
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blind my ass
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blind nurses
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blind painter
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blind man 2
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blow job matic
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Poetry Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yank my doodle it's a dandy,
Yank my doodle 'till I die,
Make that wiener shoot fireworks,
Just like the Fourth of July.
I've got a Yankee doodle boner,
I've had it since you rubbed my thigh,
So yank my doodle if you please.
That bulge is not a pony,
Just stick your fingers up my ass,
And stroke my macaroni.
Yank my doodle it's so big,
Clearly it's a dandy,
Stick that sucker in your mouth,
You'll swear it tastes like candy.
Yank my doodle it's a dandy,
Yank my doodle 'till I die,
Lick that lizard 'till it's standing tall,
Right through my pubic hair.
If you like Yankee doodle peckers,
I've got one that I can spare.
So yank my doodle 'till it cums,
Just point it toward your titties,
They say that stuff is beauty cream,
Let's make your titties pretty.
Yank my doodle it's so big,
Baby it's a dandy,
Jerk that Turk and make it squirt,
And keep a Kleenex handy.
Yank my doodle it's a dandy,
Yank my doodle 'till I die..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The race-car driver picked up a girl after a race, went home with
her and
took her to bed. He fell asleep only to be awakened suddenly when
she
smacked him in the face.
"What's the matter! Didn't I satisfy you when we screwed?" he asked.
"It was after you fell asleep that got you into trouble," said the
angry
woman. "In your sleep, you felt my tits and mumbled, 'What perfect
headlights.' Then you felt my thighs and murmured, 'What a smooth
finish.'"
"What's wrong with that?" asked the driver.
"Nothing, but then you felt my muff and yelled, 'Who the hell left
the
garage door open?!'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1846
A Hard Days Knight
Sir Rudy, Sandi, Katie the Wizard and Val the apprentice ventured
over
the hill and saw this terrible dragon spewing out flame and smoke.
Katie: What is the name of this terrible dragon?
Sandi: The people of the land call this dragon, the dragon of the
green hills or just Tami for short.
Val: Oh that is a most terrible name for sure.
Sir Rudy: I don't know, it is a gentle name.
Katie: I will work a spell up and see what I can do.
Sir Rudy: I will attack with my long sword.
Sandi: Sir Knight here take my scarf as my token.
Dragon Tami: Hey what is going on here? You guys trying to mess
with me?
Val: They are not me.
Dragon Tami: And here I was going to cook some steaks for you guys.
Sir Rudy: Steaks?
Dragon Tami: And I have some cold ones on ice to.
Sir Rudy: Really?
Dragon Tami: Straight up. That's a fact.
Sandi: Don't listen to her Sir Knight.
Sir Rudy: Hold on Princess, let's not get too hasty here. We are
talking
steaks and a cold one.
An hour later....
Sir Rudy: Burp!!!
Dragon Tami: Now you are ready to eat!
To be continued
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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