Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Every time I read the news I wish that the Yoopers would secede
from the country and create 50th state or even become part of
Wisconsin. The reason this time is the City of Ann Arbor, home
of Berkley of the Mid-west, University of Michigan. The town like
the rest of Michigan is hurting for operating funds. They have a
shortfall in the millions and are laying off firefighters. They are
also
building a new police and fire complex and they have ordered
an 850,000 dollar sculpture to be part of the complex. To make
matters worse, they hired a German Sculptor to do the sculpture.
I know we got to have American Artists that could have come
up with something similar and at least the money would stay here.
The money to build this comes from a 1 % assessment on all capital
projects in this case storm water drain projects. This money comes
from low interest municipal loans and paid for by raising the price
of water and sewer. They felt that was acceptable as the sculpture
has water flowing through it. They also decided not to replace the
director of waste services that handles trash removal and instead
used the money to hire a decorator, a sure sign that they have
more objects of art planned. hen the poor people get to pay higher
water and sewage rates for the next 30 years
Let's face it the liberal community has lost it completely in Ann
Arbor.
It is time to send Windell Middlebrooks in to load up all of their
Miller
Beer because they have lost all touch with the working class man. I
know for a fact that the few times I have been near a police station
I was more interested in how soon they were going to take the cuffs
off and let me call someone to bail me out than how lovely the
sculpture
looks. Besides what are you going to do if your house catches on
fire?
Get the statue to come over and put it out.
I am being a little harsh, but their options will get worse. They
may
even get as bad as Newark N.J. where the mayor says he can't
afford to buy toilet paper for city buildings anymore. Maybe Ann
Arbor can use their sculpture of a giant bidet when the get to that
point.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bionic hearing aid - Rechargeable bionic hearing aid.
The Lee Majors Rechargeable bionic hearing aid combines digital
hearing aid technology with the convenience of a rechargeable
battery. You will love the noticeable, digital quality hearing
improvement it makes without having the hassle of traditional
battery-operated hearing aids.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/leema
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michigan Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man met a beautiful blonde lady and he decided he wanted to marry
her right away.
She said, 'But we don't know anything about each other.'
He said, 'That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go
along.'
So, she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to
a very nice resort. One morning they were lying by the pool, when he
got up off of his lounge chair, climbed up to the 10 meter board and
did a two and a half tuck gainer, followed by three rotations in a
jackknife position, where he straightened out and cut the water like
a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and sat down.
She said,' That was incredible!'
He said, 'I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told
you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along.'
So she got up, jumped in the pool, and started doing laps. After
about fifty laps she climbed back out and lay down on her towel,
hardly out of breath.
He said, 'That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance
swimmer?'
No' she said, 'I was a hooker in St Ignace and I worked both sides
of the Straits.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
We are Fucked
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2230503.htm
Hung
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2230504.htm
Chess
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2230509.htm
Can You Hear Me Now?
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2230511.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I recently saw a condom machine in a toilet, which had a "Tested to
British Safety Standards" sign on it.
Underneath someone had scrawled: "So was the Titanic."
This guy goes to a whorehouse and says to the Madam, "I want to get
screwed."
The Madam tells him to go up to room #12 and knock on the door.
The guy walks up to the door, knocks on it, and says, "I really want
to get screwed, bad!"
A very sexy voice replies "Just slide $20 under the door."
So the man slides the $20 under the door and waits...
Nothing Happens! He knocks on the door again, and yells out "I want
to get screwed!"
The sexy voice behind the door answers, "Again?"
The blonde co-ed danced excitedly into her room clapping and
chanting, "I won! I won! That guy is so stupid!"
Her room mate asked "What on Earth are you going on about?"
"Well," the blonde explained, "I just met this really stupid guy who
bet me a dollar that if I touched my toes he could screw me without
my feeling a thing, and I won!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you know that there are billions of dollars now easily available
to Americans?
FileForGrants.com is the fastest way for you to apply for grants
online. You can search for grants online, find grant services, find
grant training programs, and much more! Filing for your grant online
is faster and more convenient than any other method.
Get Started Now!
http://buffaloschips.com/ffg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny had a first date lined up with a woman he had been
after for quite a while. When she finally consented to go out with
him, he wanted to plan the most romantic evening he could.
He picked her up at her apartment, and then drove out to the beach.
Little Johnny had prepared very carefully for this date and brought
out a blanket for them to sit upon the sand and a bottle of the
finest wine. The moonlight was shining down on them and Little
Johnny poured his date some wine. He handed her the glass, looked
lovingly in to her eyes and said, "Now this is what I call romantic.
The waves crashing on the shore, the moonlight in your eyes, a warm
tropical breeze, a bottle of wine.....," he takes a sip of wine and
says, "Oh and by the way...do you Spit or Swallow?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The New Spray & Wipe Hair Remover
Depil Silk is the fantastic pain and mess-free way to remove hair
instantly. Now you can say goodbye to unwanted hair. The kit
includes the Depil Silk spray, the special facial hair remover and a
cotton towel to easily remove unwanted hair.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
http://buffaloschips.com/depil
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Baby Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There were three gals who were getting married and all met at the
marriage counselor's office to discuss the options of having or not
having a baby right away.
There were two city gals and one farm gal.
The counselor asked them if they planned on having a baby right away
or were going to wait awhile. They all agreed that they had
discussed
this with their potential husbands and all agreed to wait awhile.
Well the counselor asked the first gal what type of birth control
she
planned to use. Her answer was, the rhythm method. That will work
said
the counselor if you keep a good record.
He asked the second gal what system she planned on using. I plan on
using birth control pills she said. Again he said, yes that will
work
as long as you don't forget to take them.
He then asked the farm girl what system she was planning on using.
Her
answer was The pail and saucer method. After a short delay, he again
told her that should also work.
He asked them all to come back in one year on a specific date for a
follow up on how things were going.
They all met again one year later and the two city gals were
pregnant.
Only the farm gal was slim and trim yet.
Well the counselor asked the first gal what method she used and what
went wrong. She replied that she used the rhythm method but somehow
got
her notes mixed up and, well here I am, going to have a baby.
He asked the second city gal what method she used and she replied,
the
birth control pill but we were camping one weekend and I didn't have
my
pills with me and as you can see, I too am going to have a baby.
He turns to the farm gal and told her that I vaguely remember you
were
going to use the pail and saucer method. Now I must admit that I
don't
have a clue what the pail and saucer method is. Will you explain it
to
me as I see it has worked well for you.
She replied, Well we make love standing up, and since I am quite a
bit
taller than my husband, he stands on a pail turned upside down. Now
as
we are making love, I watch his eyes, and when his eyes get as big
as
saucers, I kick the pail out from under him!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Create A Permanent Bond To Any Surface Instantly
UGlu is an industrial adhesive with the convenience of tape. Sticks
permanently like glue, but removes easily without residue or mess.
Now you can easily transform a room with crown molding, char rails
and picture all without using nails.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
http://buffaloschips.com/adhes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Redneck Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK CROSSDRESSER IF..."
- You go to family reunions to meet guys.
- You wear a dress that's strapless and a bra
that ain't.
- You wear combat boots with a minidress.
- You wear jeans with a belt buckle that's bigger
than your fist.
- You have a Ford F150 pick-up truck, with a gun
rack, a Dale Earnhardt license plate frame,
and a Confederate flag on the tailgate, next
to the bumper sticker that says "I sell Avon
Skin-So-Soft."
- You try to wax your legs with Turtle Wax.
- You braid the hair that sticks through your
fishnet stockings.
- You wear a black John Deere baseball cap with
pearls.
- You use glitter to highlight your mustache.
- You wear tube tops with your mini, because it
shows off your Harley-Davidson tattoo.
- Your favorite band ring came off a cigar.
- You keep spare ammo in your bra.
- You get a run in your stockings while changing
a tire on your motorhome.
- Your purse is a toolbox.
- You pluck your eyebrows with a pair of needle-
nosed pliers.
- You store your lipsticks in a socket-wrench box.
- You use duct tape to keep your "tuck" in place.
- You call your vanity "your work bench."
- You use a pocketknife to sharpen your lip and
eye liners.
- "Doing your nails" means sorting the ten-
pennies from the sixteen-pennies.
- Your favorite leather skirt was made from the
moose you shot last Fall.
- Your new sandals are made from truck tire
re-treads you found on the road.
- You keep a spare lipstick in your toolbox.
- You wear a pair of C-clamps as screw-on earrings.
- Your best silver necklace is made from beer can
pull-tabs.
- Your nail enamel is made by Rustoleum.
- You use paint thinner to remove your makeup.
- Your moisturizer says "non-detergent SAE 10W30"
on the container.
- You remove your leg hair with duct tape.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Never Search for a sharp knife again
The YoshiBlade is made from diamond hard Zirconium Oxide, which is
40% stronger than steel.
This new ceramic knife is guaranteed to stay sharp for life. This
will be the last knife you will
ever need to buy.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
http://buffaloschips.com/yosknf
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Where Am I?
http://silverandgoldandthee.com/Misc2/WhereAm.html
Marlene/Somebody Bigger
http://summerhoosier.250free.com/HTML8/Somebody-Bigger.html
Revived
http://www.poetrybyken.us/ipoems58/Revived.html
Awesome Photos
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/awesome.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
http://buffaloschips.com/scoop
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Nuclear Reactors
http://world-nuclear.org/info/reactors.html
Matchstick Art!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/matchstick.html
Carpool Community Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/d9ok8c
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschips.com/kit
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
KeyScrambler
http://www.qfxsoftware.com/download.htm
Microsoft Technologies for Java
http://www.microsoft.com/mscorp/java/
Free Clipart Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/ywy8ma
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschips.com/date
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.homesteadpoodles.com/humor.html
Kitty Korner
http://www.absolutelycats.com/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.
You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
http://buffaloschips.com/restore
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Wild Crashes
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7821.htm
Wireless Headset
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7822.htm
Women Fights Robber
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7823.htm
Women President
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7824.htm
Women Hitchhikers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7825.htm
Workers Bra
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7826.htm
Worse Than Locking Keys In Car
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72206.htm
Worst Seats
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72207.htm
WoW
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72208.htm
Wrong Ball
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72209.htm
Wrong Gift
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72210.htm
Hama Rat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72211.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
E.D. Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sidney has a problem with premature ejaculation, so he pays a visit
to a sex shop for a remedy.
The clerk hands him a little purple can and says, "This is Stay-Hard
spray... put on a little and you can go all night!"
Excited, Sidney takes it home, stashes it in the cellar on a shelf,
and waits eagerly for bedtime.
Later that night, he sprays some on his member and then goes
upstairs to his wife. To his utter disappointment, however, the
remedy seems to make him orgasm quicker than ever.
The next day, Sidney returns to the sex shop, angrily slammed the
can down on the counter, and snaps, "This stuff makes me worse than
before!"
Upon reading the label, the clerk asks, "I don't suppose your hid
this stuff on your basement shelf, did you?"
"Yeah, so?"
"You must have grabbed the wrong can, sir... this is Easy-Off."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Complaints
http://www.buffaloschips.com/Complaints.htm
All 4 One
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02230515.htm
Mouse Pad
http://www.buffaloschips.com/MousePad.htm
Bill's Bypass
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2230517.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Right to Bare Legs - Get smooth, sexy legs that look airbrushed to
perfection.
The right to bare legs allows your own skin tone to glow through for
a perfect blend and natural look for your legs. It goes on smoothly,
evenly, and quickly with a sponge applicator. It's also waterproof,
sweat proof, and wont rub off on your clothes.
Right To Bare Legs moisturizer! Effectively conceal spider veins,
sunspots, birthmarks, bruises and even tattoos!
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/bare
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I once met a beautiful Persian
A shy one who needed coercion
So I gave her a smile
And she thought for a while
Then allowed me to make an insertion.
There was a young spaceman from Venus
Who had a prodigious penis
Cried his girlfriend alas
It just came out my ass
And there's still 15 inches between us.
There once was a girl called Heather
Whose fanny was lined with leather
She attracted the boys
By making a noise
Flapping the edges together!!
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Emery Cat is The Fun New Kitty Scratcher That Actually Grooms
Cats Claws While They Play! The secret is the patented honeycomb
surface that works like a nail file, gently filing away sharpness.
Your package includes:
Durable Base with built in catnip
Cute, playful kitty toy
Packet of catnip
Bonus De-shedder
Buy 1 get 1 FREE Now for only $19.95 plus youll receive the Bonus
Gift absolutely FREE!
http://buffaloschips.com/emcat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A New York man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for
a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited
hour after endless hour for his case to be heard.
When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the
judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the day and he
would have to return the following day.
"What for?" he snapped at the judge.
His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query roared,
"Twenty dollars contempt of court. That's why!"
Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented.
"That's all right. You don't have to pay now."
The young man replied, "I'm just seeing if I have enough for two
more words."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tiger Direct Exclusive Offers
These offers are only for special groups like the Herd.
There are special prices on computers, laptops. monitors
etc. If you don't see what you need today check it again
tomorrow or navigate to the item. Most of my gear came
from Tiger Direct and they are at the top of my list trust-wise.
http://buffaloschips.com/exoffers
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her eyes met mine as she walked down the corridor peering
apprehensively into the kennels. I felt her need instantly and knew
I had to help her. I wagged my tail, not too exuberantly, so she
wouldn't be afraid.
As she stopped at my kennel I blocked her view from a little
accident I had in the back of my cage. I didn't want her to know
that I hadn't been walked today. Sometimes the shelter keepers get
too busy and I didn't want her to think poorly of them.
As she read my kennel card I hoped that she wouldn't feel sad about
my past. I only have the future to look forward to and want to make
a difference in someone's life.
She got down on her knees and made little kissy sounds at me. I
shoved my shoulder and side of my head up against the bars to
comfort her. Gentle fingertips caressed my neck; she was desperate
for companionship.
A tear fell down her cheek and I raised my paw to assure her that
all would be well. Soon my kennel door opened and her smile was so
bright that I instantly jumped into her arms. I would promise to
keep her safe. I would promise to always be by her side. I would
promise to do everything I could to see that radiant smile and
sparkle in her eyes.
I was so fortunate that she came down my corridor. So many more
are out there who haven't walked the corridors. So many more to be
saved. At least I could save one.
I rescued a human today.
Juanita
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment