THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
The really frightening thing about middle age
is the knowledge that you'll grow out of it.
~ Doris Day
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Here at "The CORNER," we of course, are primarily
a joke page. But along with that, we also are
interested in bringing you information that is
important and relevant to your life.
for example...
During an hour's swimming at a municipal pool you
will ingest 1/2 litre of urine. In an average day
your hands will have come into indirect contact
with 15 penises (touching door handles etc.)
An average person's yearly fast food intake will
contain 12 pubic hairs In a year you will have swallowed
14 insects - while you slept! Annually, you will shake
hands with 11 men who have recently masturbated and
failed to wash their hands. In a lifetime, 22 nosey workmen
doing work in your home will have examined the contents
of your dirty laundry basket.
So, have we made your day today?:)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_______________
THE COMICS
mirror on the ceiling
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i040.html
counterfeit
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i041.html
updating
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i042.html
a giveaway
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i043.html
the new job
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i044.html
would you mind
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i045.html
take it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i046.html
make it rise
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i047.html
38 times
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i048.html
redneck baby chair
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i049.html
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
lawnmower on a stick
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100131.html
I've fallen and I Cant Get Up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100132.html
MIHS Drill Team Homecoming Assembly
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100133.html
first timers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100134.html
Reverand Charles
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100135.html
illegal aliens
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100136.html
________________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
satellite images
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd283.html
dogs kitties and kids
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd284.html
Russian Cathedrals
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd285.html
The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of
caution."You don't want to try these techniques at home."
"Why not?" asked someone from the back of the audience.
"Well, I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the
expert explained. "She made lots of trips to the refrigerator,
stove, table and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a
time.'Hon,' I suggested, 'Why don't you try carrying several things at
once?'"The voice from the back asked, "Did it save time?"
The expert replied,
"Actually, yes. It used to take her 20 minutes to get my
breakfast ready. Now I do it in seven."
____________
A sheriff walks into a saloon, and shouts for everyone's
attention."Has anyone seen Brown Paper Jake?", he asks.
"What's he look like?", asks one shoddy looking cowboy.
"Well", replies the Sheriff. "He wears a brown paper hat,a
brown paper waistcoat, a brown paper shirt, brown paper boots,
brown paper pants, and a brown paper jacket."
"So what's he wanted for?", asks the same cowboy
"Rustlin'...", replies the Sheriff.
_____________
Paddy is in jail. A warder looks in and sees Paddy hanging
by his feet. "What the hell are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself" says Paddy. "It should be round your neck"
says the screw. "I know" replies Paddy "But I couldn't breathe!!"
_________________
Mrs. O'Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin,
andcoming in the opposite direction was Father O'Rafferty.
"Hello," said the Father, "And how is Mrs. O'Donovan? Didn't
Imarry you two years ago?" She replied "Aye, that you did,
Father." "And be there any little ones yet?" "No, not yet,
Father," said she. "Well, now, I'm going to Rome next week,
and I'll light a candlefor you." "Oh, thank you, Father."
And away she went. Some years later they met again. "Well,
now, Mrs. O'Donovan," said the Father, "How are you?" "Oh,
very well," said she. "And tell me," he said, "Have you any
little ones yet?" "Oh yes, Father. I've had three sets of
twins, and four singles- ten in all." "Now isn't that
wonderful," he said. "And
how is your lovelyhusband?" "Oh," she said, "e's gone to Rome
to blow out yer fookincandle.
____________
Miss Bea was in her eighties, and much admired for her
sweetness and kindness to all.
The pastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the
spring, and she welcomed him into her Victorian parlor. She
invited him to have a seat while she prepared a little tea.
As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister
noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it, filled with
water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom.
Imagine his shock and surprise. Imagine his curiosity! Surely
Miss Bea had flipped or something...! But he certainly couldn't
mention the strange sight in her parlor.
When she returned with tea and cookies, they began to chat. The
pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and
its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him, and he
could resist no longer.
"Miss Bea," he said, pointing to the bowl, "I wonder if you would
tell me about this?"
"Oh, yes," she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking
downtown last fall and I found this little package. It said to
put it on the organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent disease.
And you know... I haven't had a cold all winter!"
_________________
Lisa, a strikingly beautiful young Brunette, sat across the table
from William, in a fancy restaurant. She smiled as William
finished proposing to her.
"I'm not sure, let me think about it." she answered.
William was crushed but kept his composure. After dinner they
went to her place. The mood was romantic and William was eager to
make love to Lisa.
She stopped him and said, "Before we get married or even make
love, I want you to buy me something."
"Sure my love, you name it. A car, a pearl necklace, diamond
earrings, you name it."
"I want a solid gold Boy Scout knife."
Stunned, William asked, "But why? I can buy you anything you
want. Why must it be a solid gold Boy Scout knife?"
"I can't tell you, but I won't make love to you until I get one."
William searched high and low but couldn't find such a knife.
Desperate, he had a jeweler make one for him.
The next time they met at her place for a romantic evening, he
again suggested they make love. Again she said she couldn't
without first receiving the solid gold Boy Scout knife.
With a smile he handed her a small gift wrapped box.
She carefully opened it and saw the knife. They went off to the
bedroom where she opened a large hope chest at the foot of her
bed. She placed the knife inside, but not before William saw the
contents of the hope chest. It was filled with solid gold Boy
Scout knifes. "What's this? Why did you ask me for a gold knife when you
already have so many of them?" "I can't tell you" she replied.
After several minutes of badgering she finally relented and said
"Someday I will be older. My hair will turn gray, my face will
start to get wrinkles and my beauty will fade. Who will want me
then? But, do you know what a Boy Scout would do for one of these
knives?"
FUN PAGES
Penguin Diner
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41772&s=n
Table Soccer Skills
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38555&s=n
Fast Track Racing
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41605&s=n
Rino Unicorn
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41410&s=n
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
Voting Ad
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91101.htm
Argument Settled
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91102.htm
Been Married To long
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91103.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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