THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Don't cry because it's over;
smile because it happened.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Happy fourth of July!
John Hancock, President of Congress, was the first to sign
the Declaration of Independence, writing his name in large,
plain letters, and saying:
"There! John Bull can read my name without spectacles.
Now let him double the price on my head, for this is my defiance."
Then he turned to the other members, and solemnly declared:
"We must be unanimous. There must be no pulling different ways.
We must all hang together."
"Yes," said Franklin, quaintly, "we must all hang together,
or most assuredly we shall all hang separately."
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Be careful #1
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9881.html
be careful #2
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9882.html
stupid
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9883.html
pimp my ride
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9884.html
a reason for cold beer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9885.html
____________
THE COMICS
when you can't afford bluetooth
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e070.html
big ti s
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e071.html
Canadian fast food
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e072.html
women's thots, mens thots
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e073.html
a romantic valentines dinner
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e074.html
not what I meant
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e075.html
redneck weather station
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e076.html
talk too much
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e077.html
kleptomania
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e078.html
Joe's bar
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/e079.html
_____________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
Anna Kostenko
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd215.html
art show
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd216.html
around the world
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd217.html
I noticed the neighbor down the street was home every day,
so after a few weeks I asked him what was going on.
He replied, "I left my job because of illness and fatigue."
A few weeks later, his wife gave me the real truth of what happened.
Turns out my neighbor's boss got sick and tired of him.
___________
The Wit and Wisdom of Homer J. Simpson
"Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys,
and kids with fake IDs."
"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
"You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your
life if you had an electrified fooling machine."
"Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is
important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals!
Except the weasel."
"If you really want something in life you have to work for it.
Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."
"To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems!"
_____________
A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his
badly behaved 3 year-old grandson.
It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child
screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the
biscuit aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles.
Meanwhile, Gramps is working his way around, saying in a
controlled voice, "Easy, William, we won't be long .....easy, boy."
Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, "It's
okay, William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of
here. Hang in there, boy."
At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the
cart, and Gramps says again in a controlled voice, "William,
William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five
minutes; stay cool, William."
Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather
is loading his groceries and the boy into the car.
She said to the elderly gentleman, "It's none of my business,
but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it.
That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how
loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things
would be okay William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."
"Thanks, lady," said the grandfather, "but I'm William . .. .
the little bastard's name is Steve."
________________
Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in
sitting in my back yard and having a vodka and cranberry
along with a quiet conversation with Jesus.
This happened to me again after a particularly difficult day.
I said, "Jesus, why do I work so hard?"
And I heard the reply: "Men find many ways to demonstrate the
love they have for their family. You work hard to have a peaceful,
beautiful place for your friends and family to gather."
I said: "I thought that money was the root of all evil."
And the reply was: "No, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil.
Money is a tool; it can be used for good or bad."
I was starting to feel better, but I still had that one burning
question, so I asked it. "Jesus," I said, "what is the meaning of
life? Why am I here?"
He replied: "That is a question many men ask. The answer is in
your heart and is different for everyone. I would love to chat
with you some more, señor, but for now - I must finish your lawn."
________________
Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long commercial flight.
After they're airborne and the plane has leveled off, the man in
the window seat abruptly says, distinctly and confidently, in a loud
voice, "Admiral, United States Navy, retired. Married, two sons,
both surgeons."After a few minutes the man in the aisle seat states
through a tight lipped smile, "Admiral, United States Coast Guard,
retired. Married, two sons, both Judges."
After some thought, the fellow in the center seat decides to
introduce himself. With a twinkle in his eye he proclaims, "Master
Chief Gunnery Sergeant, United States Marines, retired. Never
married, two sons, both Admirals
____________
A teacher sees a lad entering the classroom and his hands are very dirty.
She stopped him and said, "John, please wash your hands. My goodness,
what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?"
Smiling the boy replied, "I think I would be too polite to mention it."
____________
BUFFALO BILL
1426
http://www.buffaloschips.com/agtrrre.htm
Mrs Hughes
http://www.buffaloschips.com/agtrre.htm
Friends
http://www.buffaloschips.com/akjijk.htm
_________
FUN PAGES
Cafe Mahjongg
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41681&s=n
Asteroids Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41515&s=n
Do Beer, Not Drugs
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38550&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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