Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Today is the national observance of our Independence from Britain.
Our celebrations are always awesome in most every town large or
small and a good example of this is a little town called Brimley
about 15 miles from us. For a town its size with only about 1,400
people they always manage a parade and a fireworks show that is the
envy of larger towns. The fireworks are sponsored by a local
fireworks store located on the Indian reservation across from the
Casino that at this time of year is one of the most popular stops in
the whole county. About ten years ago I went out there and
purchased several hundred dollars worth of various fireworks ranging
from safe and sane stuff like fountains for use in town and the less
sane variety with things like 3 inch mortars for out in the country.
I had the owner help me pick the things out with an emphasis on
things that wouldn't upset my next door neighbors in town as our
houses are only several feet apart and although the police somewhat
tolerate firework use like bottle rockets and firecrackers on the
fourth there is a limit to everything.
Fourth of July came and after the fireworks and fighting the traffic
home, about midnight we broke out the bag of fireworks and went out
on the front sidewalk and set off some of the small fountains and
let the kids play with sparklers and the small novelties like tanks
and smoke bombs. When they tired of that, I broke out a large
wrapped cylinder about the size of a layer cake that said fountain
with stars on it and a big fuse out of the top. I set the thing on
the sidewalk and lit it off and to my surprise the thing started
spitting out sparks 15 feet in the air and hurling golf ball sized
balls of flame over a 30 foot circle barely missing the neighbors
cars and the porch roof and leaving little scorch marks on the
sidewalk and grass when the balls landed. To make matters worse it
consisted of twenty small tubes and lasted about 5 minutes. About
the middle of its performance I ran out and flipped the device over
making a worse mess on the sidewalk but at least stopping any damage
to the neighboring houses. That was the end of that, I kept the
firecrackers and novelties and gave the rest of the stuff away. I
am sure the owner of the fireworks store was chuckling to himself
when he sold me the stuff as he knew where I lived.
Be safe tonight, don't lose an eye or fingers playing with fireworks
and remember to put your pets in some place quiet and safe before
the festivities start.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Heaven Chips
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Tony died and was sent to be judged as to his eternal future. St.
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Pete to forgive him and was told that the only way he could get into
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did I sell those kids those cigarettes?
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Cowboy Chips
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One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get hitched.
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"Oh my", she says, "What is that?"
"Well, darlin", the cowboy says, "That's ma rope."
She slides her hands further down and gasps.
"Oh my goodness. What's them?" she asks.
"Honey, them's my knots", he answers.
Finally, the couple begin to make love.
After several minutes, the bride says, "Stop honey. Wait a minute."
Her husband, panting a little, asks, "What's the matter honey? Am I
hurting you?"
"No," the bride replies. "Just undo them damn knots. I need more
rope!"
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Mormon Chips
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A woman visiting Salt Lake City in the latter half of the 18th
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Woman: "Are you Brigham Young?"
Brigham Young: "I am."
Woman: "Are you the Brigham Young that is the head of the Mormon
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Woman: "Are you the Brigham Young that led the Mormons to Utah?"
Brigham Young: "I am."
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religions as false except Mormonism?"
Brigham Young: "I am."
About this time, the woman is beginning to lose her temper.
Woman: "Are you the Brigham Young who preaches polygamy?"
Brigham Young: "I am."
Now she's really getting mad.
Woman: "Are you the Brigham Young who has 26 wives?"
Brigham Young: "I am."
Then furiously, she says -
Woman: "You ought to be hung!"
Brigham Young: "I am."
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Tooth Chips
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Paddy, suffering from a severe toothache, finally got up enough
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shot of whiskey kept on hand for just such circumstances as this.
"Ye got your courage back now?" the dentist asked.
"No!" replied Paddy.
So a second shot was brought, then a third.
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Tight Chips
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This is one of the first" Dirty" Jokes I ever heard. A Canadian girl
named Cindy told it to me .. I wonder...
Bob goes on a blind date with this Canadian chick named Cindy.
Later, after dinner and a movie, Cindy invites Bob up to her
apartment to fool around.
She reclines on the couch, spreads her legs and says, "Stick
a finger in me."
Bob obliges. Then Cindy says, "Stick in the other three."
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So Bob eases his hand into Cindy, who then says, "Now shove
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Bob tries, but nothing doing. "I can't!" he says.
Cindy looks at him with a smile and says, "Pretty tight, eh?"
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Melva/Freedom is not Free
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Daily With Our Troops 3
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Military Motivational Posters
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July 4th Fireworks RiverSongs Greeting Cards 4th of July Ecards
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History and Legends of Hot Dogs
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Wanted Chips
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I miss my husband. I really do. He's traveling and I'm home all
alone and this weather sucks and I want company. So, I'd like to
propose the
following:
I'm looking for a surrogate husband, just for today. I will cook a
great meal for you and greet you at the door wearing nothing but
lingerie.
You must agree to:
-- come home by 7:00pm, but not actually show up until 8:00pm.
Please don't apologize for being late and don't call to let me know
you are going to be late.
-- walk in the door without actually greeting me.
-- the first words out of your mouth, after you get out of the
bathroom, should be: "What's for dinner?"
-- take your plate from the table and walk into the living room and
sit down in front of the TV, leaving me alone.
-- put your feet up on the coffee table, chew with your mouth open
and ask me to grab you a beer.
-- not compliment me on the fact that the house is clean or that the
food that took me several hours to cook is any good.
-- ignore me for the rest of the night and watch ESPN instead.
-- tell me to stop when I try to cuddle up to you on the couch and
ask me to get you a beer instead.
-- come to bed without showering, even though you've been at work
all day.
-- fart in bed and then fluff the covers.
-- wake me up to ask me for a blow job.
Please, please, please help me out! I miss the asshole.
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Toon Chips
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Aliens Come In Piece
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A Little Bush
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Allowance
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Alls Well
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Limerick Chips
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I sat by the Duchess for tea,
And she asked, "Do you fart when you pee?"
I said with some wit,
"Do you belch when you shit?"
And I felt it was one up for me
______________________________
I wooed a buxom young nude in Bermuda,
I was lewd, but my God! She was lewder.
She said it was crude
To be wooed in the nude --
I pursued her, subdued her, and screwed her!
______________________________
In the shade of the old apple tree
I got all that was coming to me.
In the soft dewy grass
I had a fine piece of ass
From a maiden that was so fine to see.
<Snagged by>
Ross
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Parting Chips
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In case you missed the article, someone found a condom in
a MacDonald's hamburger a couple of years ago.
Here is David Letterman's top ten MacDonald's excuses for
the condom in the Big Mac:
10. We were test marketing the new "McRibbed."
9. Condom, Condiment.....What's the damned difference.
8. It still tastes better than the Arch Deluxe.
7. It was either there, or in the vanilla shake.
6. Turns out the rumors about Grimace and Mayor McCheese
are true.
5. We're experimenting with a new, even happier meal.
4. Employees too embarrassed to ask "Would you like a
condom with that?"
3. So what? A regular Big Mac is 60% latex anyway.
2. Drive-thru speaker broken: "Coke with lots of ice" sounds like
"Prophylactic device."
And the number one MacDonald's Excuse for the Condom in
the Big Mac:
1. When you're serving billions and billions, you can't be too
careful.
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1831
Back to Guthrie
BJ: Well it is time to head back to Guthrie.
Sandi: Who is going back to Guthrie?
BJ: You, Katie and I.
Rudy: Sniff..sniff.
Val: Waaah!
Diana: Now everyone just calm down. We will be together next
weekend.
Rudy: You mean we get to be sad every weekend?
Diana: And be happy when we get together. When Dad comes back
he will bring more of our stuff from Guthrie. One day, he will
bring
the last load and then he will be here forever.
Rudy: A-Rooo! You go dad, err pops!
BJ: Everyone gather in a circle and lets get close and give each
other
a close body hug.
>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<
BJ: Okay quick into the truck and let's be off. Long farewells
make
for sad ones.
Through tears the family is split but just for a few days.....
Diana: Drive safe and return to us.
BJ: We shall.
The herd, simply the herd
Parting is such sweet sorrow...but each trip brings us closer to our
goal.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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