[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 7-13-10

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Eva and I are sitting here watching the Temptations movie on
VH-1 Classic. We are eating Nacho Chips and she has a glass of
juice and I have a glass of Diet Coke and she insists on clinking
glasses when I reach for my drink. Who knows where she picks
this stuff up. That brings us around to my rant for today, movies
on music tv.

I started watching videos in the early eighties right after MTV
became popular. They quickly decided I was too old to watch
their new programming and started VH-1 which was supposed
to be for a more mature audience. Neither of them play videos
with any regularity anymore instead you have reality shows
and stupid games, and of course movies. But then you have
more movie channels and you can watch blocks of top 20
videos, rap videos, country videos, even Jamaican videos
but there is only one channel, VH-1 Classic, that was dedicated
to classic rock and now they are trying to change that one too
with shows they produce themselves and movies. I know the
royalties are cheaper that way but what difference does it make
if no one wants to watch because they are showing a Beatles
movie for the tenth time. I saw it when it came out and no person
needs to see it more than twice in a lifetime.

Give me videos, 24 hours a day, minus commercials, heck you
can even throw Lady Gaga in there if you want, but give me videos.
I don't want to think, I want to rock. heh heh

Enjoy the chips... buffalo

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Scar Chips
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In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young girl.
The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to
the erotic.

Then, the young girl proposes, "If each of you will give me $1.00, I
will show you my legs." The men, charmed by this young girl, all
pull a buck out of their wallet.

And then the girl pulls us her dress a bit to show her legs.

Then she says, "If each of you gentlemen will give me $10.00, I'll
show you my thighs," and men being what they are, they all pull out
a ten dollar bill. The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her
legs in full.

Conversation continues, and the men, a bit excited, have all taken
off their coats.

Then the young girl says, "If you will give me $100, I will show you
where I was operated on for appendicitis."

All three fork over the money. The girl then turned to the window
and points outside at a building they're passing. "See there in the
distance. That's the hospital where I had it done!"

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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

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Walk Chips
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WALK NAKED IN AMERICA DAY
Don't forget to mark your calendars. As you may already know, it is
a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked.
He must commit suicide if he does. So next Saturday at 4 PM Eastern
Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house
completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this
anti-terrorist effort.
All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front
of their house to prove they are not Muslims and to demonstrate they
think its okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show
support for all American women.
Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your
side is further proof of your anti-Muslim sentiment.
The American government appreciates your efforts to root out
terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist
activity.
God bless America !
It is your patriotic duty to pass this on. If you don't send this to
at least 5 people, you're a terrorist-sympathizing, lily-livered
coward and are in the position of posing as a national threat.

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School Chips
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A teacher was doing a study testing the senses and was on taste

The children began to identify the flavors by their color:

Red.....................Cherry

Yellow................Lemon

Green...................Lime

Orange...............Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None
of the children could identify the taste.

The teacher said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what
your Mother may sometimes call your father.'

One little girl looked up in horror, and Yelled, 'Spit them out,
they're assholes

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There are special prices on computers, laptops. monitors
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Criminal Chips
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The police department received a call at 1 a. m. from a professor
at the local university who reported a break-in. "The man was a
huge brute," the professor reported. "He ripped the covers off the
bed and found me sleeping naked. He looked at me in the most vile
possibly way and then he exposed this incredibly large penis."
"That's not the worst part. He made me put that disgusting thing in
my mouth, then he turned me over and shoved it up my ass until I
felt like I would split in two. We'll send a squad over right away
to look for him, the officer said. Oh, you don't have to do that,
the professor said, he's in the shower now. Why don't you just come
over and pick him up in the morning."

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Short Chips
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It was afternoon in the crowded cafeteria. The elderly matron
sitting at the counter was obviously upset at the cigarette smoke of
the young blond woman beside her.

Finally the older woman could take it no longer. She turned to the
blond and bellowed with a loud voice, "Young lady, I would rather
commit adultery than smoke!"

"So would I," quipped the blond, "but you know, there just isn't
enough time to get a good screw during a coffee break."

Sylvia was in her backyard hanging up her washing when
Sarah, her next door neighbor, poked her head over the
fence and said, "I don't like being the one to have to tell you this
Sylvia, but there's a rumor going around that your husband Robert is
chasing the women."

"So what?" said Sylvia.

"But at his age!" said Sarah, "He's over 80 isn't he?"

"Ya, so he's eighty-two, so what?" replied Sylvia. "Let him chase
girls. Dogs chase cars, but when they catch one, can they drive it?"

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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends

Melva/The way We Were
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REPORT: NY YANKEES OWNER GEORGE STEINBRENNER DIES
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With You
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Surfin Surfari

BMI Calculator
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Design & Try Perfect Fighting Moves
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33 Different Ways To Lace Shoes !
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Romantic Castles
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Floating Hotel
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.

Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

How To Uninstall Mcafee Products
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Convert Photos to Html, Matrix Text or Ascii Art
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Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner

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Movie Links

Ouch!!
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91906.htm

Recession
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91907.htm

Red State Update
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Singing Monkey
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91909.htm

Uncontrollable Sexual Urges
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What
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91911.htm

Canard
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1231.htm

Candid Camera Russian Style
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Carrier Landing
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Cat
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Cat Bird
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Short Chips
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A blonde is pregnant, and is practically 9 months along. She goes to
see her doctor for a routine check-up, but she is worried. She asks,
"What if the baby starts coming, and I can't get to the hospital in
time." The doctor replies, "Well, woman have been having babies for
a million years without an attendance by doctors. It's a very
natural process. The first thing you do is to assume the same
position you were laying in when you got pregnant." The blonde
interrupts with, "Do you mean with the left foot in the glove
compartment and the right foot hanging out the window?"

Every time I sit down to try to take a dump, I start reading the
newspaper and end up forgetting to do my business. I think might I
have Attention Defecate Disorder.

Mrs. Jones went to see her doctor. When he inquired about her
complaint she replied that she suffered from a discharge. He
instructed her to get undressed and lie down on the examining table.
She did so. The doctor put on rubber gloves and began to massage her
"private parts." After a couple of minutes he asked, "How does that
feel?" "Wonderful," she replied, "but the discharge is from my ear."

Stan Kegal

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Toon Chips
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Faking It
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32152.htm

Tin Can Phone
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32153.htm

Crowded Beach
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32154.htm

Doggie Kisses
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32155.htm

Going To Sleep
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32156.htm

It Fits
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32157.htm

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Limerick Chips
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Jack and Jill went up the hill,
With a little keg of brandy.
Jack got stewed,
Jill got screwed,
Now it's Jack, and Jill, and Andy.
________________________________

Frankie and Johnny were lovers,
Especially under the covers.
When she pulled out his trigger
She said, "Mmm, what a frigger!
But it turns so many girls into mothers."
________________________________

Ginger from the County of Dade
Said, "I think it's 'bout time I got laid.
My vibrator can tingle
But it's not cunnilingual
And that's how orgasms are made."
<Snagged by>
Ross

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Parting Chips
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A guy came home to his wife and said to her:
"Guess what? I've found a great job at a book store. A
10 PM start, 2 AM finish, no overtime, no weekends and
it pays $600 a week!"
"That's great," his wife said.
"Yeah, I thought so too," he agreed. "You start on Monday
at the Gloryhole section.

When my daughter was about six years old, my sister was babysitting
for the day.
My sister had a soap opera on television, and during a love
scene, my daughter expressed how gross she thought it was that a man
and a woman were kissing. My sister explained to her, "When a man
and a woman are in love, kissing is not gross." She then said,
"Your mommy and daddy kiss -- they're in love."
My daughter's rebuttal to that was, "No they're NOT in love
-- they're MARRIED!"

Patricia

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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1837

Hard Choices

BJ: What is the matter Sandi, you look sad?

Sandi: I miss Rudy, my hubby.

BJ: Do you want me to take you to him?

Sandi: Then I will miss you.

BJ: Ok girl here is the deal. I am at work from 7:30 am until
5:30 pm Mondays through Fridays and we cannot see each other
then. Also, you have to hold going to the bathroom during that
time.

Sandi: Yes, it gets tough.

BJ: So why don't I take you and Katherine back to Caldwell.

Sandi: I do not know what to do.

BJ: I will make the decision for you. You and Katie go.
Remember every Friday, Saturday and most Sundays I will
be there so only Mondays through Thursdays will you not
see me. Also, every week brings us closer to being together.

Sandi: Sniff sniff.

BJ: Also if you get ill with this, I will bring you back.

Sandi: Promise?

BJ: Promise.

The herd


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Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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