THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall,
to the next county, to a foreign country
but NOT to where the guilt is.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
The weather was a tad difficult here, yesterday. They say we
hit 96 degrees with a heat index of 98. To complicate matters,
son's car, with a miriad of problems, decided to give up the
ghost. What with needing almost a thousand in mechanical
repairs, and the car not being worth even a few hundred bux, its
time. He bought the car years ago, right out of hischool,
and at age 28, you have to admit, he got his money out of that
old 96 Mercury Mystique. A Mystique is sortof like a Mercury
version of the old Ford Maverick. It ran almost maintenance free
for over ten years. The car certainly did not owe him any
money. Anyways, Dad went car shopping with son. On a hot
day, and when heat does not do me many favors, it was definitely
more than I needed. Unfortunately, the excursion produced
fruitless results.
and spent
a great deal of time simply trying to regain my breath . Sat
in front of the airconditioner and simply could not seem to
get a decent breath of air for a long time. But, eventually,
I did manage to recover and I am still around for another day.
The worst part of it is, our efforts were
All for nothing. Apparently, the "cash for clunkers" program
has created a real shortage of older, cheap cars. I wonder if
the people who invented the "cash for clunkers" program considered
what affect it might have on poorer folks who can't afford to
spend a lot of money on a vehicle? Apparently not.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
________________
THE COMICS
artist's secret
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f030.html
laptop
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f031.html
you ain't fat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f032.html
golfing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f033.html
a good night kiss
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f034.html
I like school
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f035.html
I sit on his face
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f036.html
the postal service
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f037.html
waiter!!!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f038.html
baby boy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f039.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
The Regurgitator - Britain's Got Talent 2010
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9904.html
Funny 3D Animation!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9905.html
construction accident
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9906.html
soccer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9907.html
nice beaver-wav file
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9908.html
______________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
Mars
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd223.html
something different
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd224.html
Back in the Cold War days, Ivan was a diplomat and spy.
He was new to the USA and lived in Washington, D.C. for
past six months. He soon complained to Boris, his aide,
that he needed a woman.Boris dropped off a high-priced
hooker at his door the following Saturday night. Ivan
plied her with some vodka and caviar. As she took her
top, he noticed that her armpits were shaved. He said,
pointing top his own pits, "Vomen in the old country have wool
- they have wool!"She responded, "It's customary and fashionable
to shave our underarms."They drank more vodka and ate more
caviar. She removed her slacks. He noticed that her legs are
shaved also. He repeated, "Vomen in the old country have wool -
they have wool!" Once more, she said, "It's customary and
fashionable to shave our legs."
After more vodka and caviar, he pulled down her panties and
saw that her privates were trimmed. He exclaimed again,
"Vomen in the old country have wool - they have wool!"
She then asked in loud voice, "Look buddy, did you want
to screw or knit?"
_________________
A man goes to a public golf course. He approaches the man
behind the counter in the pro shop and says,
"I would like 18 holes of golf and a caddie." The man behind
the counter says, The 18 holes of golf is no problem, but all
of the caddies are out on the course. But what I will do for
you is this: We just received 8 brand new robot golf caddies.
If you're willing to take one with you out on the course and
come back and tell me how well it works, your round of golf is
on me today. The golfer obviously accepted the man's offer.
He approached the first tee, looked at the fairway and said to
Himself, "I think my driver will do the job." The robot caddie
turned to the man and said, "No sir. Use your 3 wood. A driver
is far too much club for this hole." Hesitantly, the golfer
pulled out his 3 wood, made good contact with the ball,
and the ball landed about 10 feet to the right front of the
hole on the green. The golfer, delighted, turned to the robot
and thanked him for his assistance. As the golfer pulled
out his putter He said, "I think this green is gonna break
left to right." The robot then again spoke up and said,
"No sir, I do believe this Green will break right to left."
Thinking about the last time the robot corrected his prediction,
he Decided again to listen to the machine. He made his
putt and birdied the hole thanks to the robot and his
advice. But his luck didn't end there. His entire game was
the best game he ever played, thanks to the assistance of the
new robot golf caddie. Upon returning to the clubhouse,
the man behind the counter asked, "How was your game ?"
The golfer stated, "It was, by far, the BEST game I ever
played. Thank you very much for letting me take
one of your robots. See you next week." A week passed and,
excited, the golfer returned to the pro shop. Upon entering,
he turned to the man behind the counter and said, "I would
like 18 holes of golf and one of those robot golf caddies, please."
The gentleman from behind the counter turned to the man and
said, "Well the 18 holes is no problem. However, we had to get
rid of the robots. We had too many complaints." "COMPLAINTS?
Who in the heck could've complained about those robots? They were
incredible!!!!!" The man sighed and said, "Well, it wasn't their
performance. It was that they were made of shiny silver
metal, and the sun reflecting off them was blinding to other
golfers on the fair way." The golfer said, "So then why didn't
you just paint them black?" The man nodded sadly and replied,
"We did. Then four of 'em didn't show up for work, two filed for welfare,
one of them robbed the pro shop, and the other is serving as President."
_________________
A man and his wife were awoken at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger,
standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife..
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring
rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you
Remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those
two guys helped us?
I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into
the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.
____________________
A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for summer,
decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started
canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if
he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he
said, "How much will you charge me?"
Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything
she would need was in the garage.
His wife overhearing their conversation said to him..."Does
she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?
He responded, "That's abit cynical, isn't it?
The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe
all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by email lately.."
Later that day, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" the startled husband asked.
"Yes, the blonde replied, and I even had paint left over, so I
gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and
handed her a $10.00 tip.
Thank you!! she said, "And by the way, "the blonde
added,"it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."
__________
A man was sitting on a bus looking ashamed. The man next to
him noticed and asked what the was the matter.
He said that when he went to buy the bus ticket, the woman
serving him had the most unbelievable breasts, so he got
flustered and asked for two tickets to Tittsburgh instead
of Pittsburgh.The man next to him laughed and said,
"Don't worry about that. We all make Freudian slips.
This morning I was having breakfast with my wife.
I meant to say, 'Pass the salt,' but I accidentally said,
'You f***ing bitch, you ruined my life.'"
_____________
FUN PAGES
Tibet Quest
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41799&s=n
Punch Out Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41551&s=n
Mr. Bean
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=20497&s=n
__________
BUFFALO BILL
Anillocompromiso
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fjhgkhl.htm
Arab
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gtuhiuuh.htm
Baby Boomers Battle
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gtdfhgujghjh.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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