THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
The happiness of your life depends
on the quality of your thoughts
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Did you ever notice that life is full of mysteries?
its true. For example, we all know the story of the
mattress tag. the one where you buy a mattress there is
always this tag on it that says, "Do not remove." but
it never tells you why? Or how bout the pants inspector?
When you were a kid, and you bought a pair of pants, there
was always a slip of paper in the pocket that said,
"inspected by inspector #14." Hmm what were they
inspected for? and how come you don't find tags like
them in pants now? The question I really want to know,
is about them f keys at the top of your computer key
board. In 15 years, I have used them only once or twice,
one of them if u push it at start up will get you into your
bios. Isn't there another one of them that boots u up
to safe mode? I disremember. Otherwise,
what are all them silly things for?
if someone knows what all them f keys are or do
please tell,:)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________
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THE COMICS
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_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
the landlord
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Smackdown Vs Raw
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race car crashes
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The Best of Extreme Sports
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a mountain collapses in Italy
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Jaywalking - 4th of July (Embarrassing!)
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_______________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
Hiroshima
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pretty woman
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errotic photos
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A young man was hitchhiking down south and a farmer driving
an old pickup truck stopped to give him a lift. As they were
driving, the farmer started bragging about how good the
local moonshine whiskey was. The young man told the farmer
that he didn't drink very much, and that moonshine would
probably be too strong for his tastes.
"Nonsense!" said the farmer. "You gotta try some." He
fished around behind him and finally produced a small jug.
"Here," he said, handing the jar to the lad. "Take a drink!"
"Oh, no thanks," said the young man. "I really don't think
I care for any.""No, I insist," pressed the farmer. "Have some."
"No, thanks — really," said the young man.
The farmer wasn't going to take no for an answer. He stopped
the truck and grabbed his shotgun from the rack in back. He
pointed the gun at the lad and roared, "I said, take a drink!"
"Okay! Okay!" said the young man. He took a few swallows and
instantly realized just how powerful the stuff was. His
throat muscles tightened, his eyes watered, and he made a choking sound.
"What do you think of it?" asked the farmer. "Good, ain't it?"
"Yeah," gasped the lad, afraid he would be forced to drink
more if he disagreed, "I guess so."
Then the farmer handed the young man the shotgun and grinned.
"Here! Now, you hold the gun on me and make me drink some!"
____________
One of my students could not take my college seminar final
exam because of a funeral. "No problem," I told him. "Make it
up the following week." That week came, and again he couldn't
take the test due to another funeral. "You'll have to take the
test early next week," I insisted. "I can't keep postponing it."
"I'll take the test next week if no one dies," he told me.
By now I was suspicious. "How can you have so many people you
know pass away in three weeks?" I asked.
"I don't know any of these people," he said, "but I'm the
only gravedigger in town."
______________
Penny dropped in on her neighbor and found her sitting at the
kitchen table, staring blankly at a half-empty cup of coffee;
her three kids squabbling loudly in the other room. "What's wrong?"
she asked. The neighbor told her that she had "morning sickness."
Surprised, the neighbor said, "I didn't even know you were
pregnant again!" "I'm not," the harried young woman replied,
"I'm just sick of mornings."
___________
A man and his wife were talking and he says, "You know, I was
thinking of going down to the bar tonight and entering that
big-dick contest.""Oh honey," she exclaims, "I don't want you
taking that out in public!"
"But sweet thing," he says, "the prize is $100!"
"I don't care," she says, "I don't want you showing
that thing to everybody."
So he lets the subject drop until the following night when
his wife walks in on him in the bedroom, counting out a hundred
dollars. "Did you go down and enter that big-dick contest
last night after I told you not to?"
"Please forgive me, sweetheart," he says.
"You mean you took that thing out for everybody to see?"
she says, tears welling up in her eyes.
The man looks at her fondly and says, "Only enough to win."
___________________
Tarzan and his new homosexual lover, Homo-boy (Jane left him
and returned to England) are traveling through the jungle when
they are suddenly attacked by a troop of savage Baboons. In the
ensuing fight they get separated. As Tarzan fights some of the
attackers off, his cowardly homosexual lover clings gingerly to
a thin tree branch, barely out of reach of the rest of the
savage, attacking Baboons.
After Tarzan has vanquished those Baboons confronting him,
he turns just in time to see his new lover's tree branch
begin to break. Thinking quickly, Tarzan leaps for a vine
and swings precariously towards his newfound sweetheart, Homo-boy.
As he nears him, Tarzan yells, "Grab the vine, Homo-boy, grab the vine!"
Homo-boy, reaches out as Tarzan swings by... Homo-boy makes a quick grab.
Suddenly, Tarzan screams, "Aaiiieeeeeeeee!" "I SAID THE VINE DAMMIT, THE VINE!"
From that day forth, Tarzan was the best-hung male in the jungle...
____________
Bartender: Since you are here every night till closing, tell
me is your wife happy?
Monty: Yes, she is, she cooks me breakfast every morning
and fixes my lunch for work. She is all smiles when I
leave for work. let me tell you that's all I really
care about is my wife's happiness.
Bartender: That's so thoughtful of you.
Monty: In fact, I care so much about her happiness that I hired a
private detective to find out who is responsible for it.
______________
BUFFALO BILL
Benny Hill Wishing Well
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Be Quiet
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FUN PAGES
NightShift Legacy: The Jaguar's Eye
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Reel Fishing
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Anna Kournikova Calendar Shoot
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THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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