THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Don't compromise yourself.
You are all you've got.
~Janis Joplin
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I was thinking about this unemployment situation the other day.
I hate to see anybody who suffers because congress
did not extend their benefits. Yep there will no doubt
be a lot of families who will be struggling because
they voted not to extend the benies. But on the other
hand, let's look at it from another view point. Let's say
you are a struggling family, both parents working at
8 or 10 bux an hour just to make it, and somebody gets
laid off. You do have a couple opportunities to apply
for extensions already. And let's face it, 3 or 4 hundred
bux a week is not much for an unemployment check. But,
if you are working an low wage job, and you get laid off
and can draw that kind of a check, what happens? Well,
you got no babysitting costs because you can stay home,
and you got no transport costs cuz you don't have to drive
to work. Yeah, damn it!! Extend my benefits, congress!
I WANNA STAY HOME INSTEAD OF WORKING!
I'll make more money if I don't work!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________
THE COMICS
I'm Robbie
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f060.html
bandages
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f061.html
too late
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f062.html
damn I'm good
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f063.html
a pervert
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f064.html
thats the trouble
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f065.html
business class
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f066.html
slipped
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f067.html
a good woman
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f068.html
too cheap
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f069.html
________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES!
play the guitar
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9920.html
accidents in Russia
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9921.html
the penis
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9922.html
shut up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9923.html
Nascar
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9924.html
good gymnast
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9925.html
___________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
in love
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd231.html
The New Titanic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd232.html
Lassalvy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd233.html
The computer swallowed grandpa.
Yes, honestly it's true!
He pressed 'control and 'enter'
And disappeared from view.
It devoured him completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
he must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.
I've searched through the recycle bin
And files of every kind;
I've even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.
In desperation, I asked Jeeves
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found 'online.'
So, if inside your 'Inbox,'
My Grandpa you should see,
Please 'Copy, Scan' and 'Paste' him
And send him back to me.
__________
Father Joseph went up to Father Fred one afternoon
and said, "I am SICK of all this clean living. Tonight
let's you and me go out and party. We'll carouse,
drink, whatever we want." Fred was shocked. "Are you
crazy? This is a small town and everyone knows us.
Besides, even if they didn't, they would see our clothes
and know we were priests." Joe was ready for this.
"Don't be silly. We won't stay in town, we'll go into
the city where nobody knows us, and we'll dress just
like anyone else." In the end, he managed to persuade
Fred, and they went out that night and partied like
professionals. When they got back home at 5:00 AM, Fred's
face became pale. "I just thought of something," he said.
"We have to confess this." Again, Joe was ready. "Relax,
I told you, I thought this all out in advance. Tomorrow,
you go into church and into the confessional. I will come
in my regular clothes and confess, and you absolve me.
Then I go put on my garments, you come in and confess,
and I'll absolve you." Fred was amazed at Joe's brilliance.
And so, Joseph went in later that morning and said,
"Father forgive me, for I have sinned. My friend and I,
we're both young men, and last night we went out and
caroused. We became drunk, had carnal knowledge of prostitutes,
used foul language, danced to wicked music."
Fred answered, "God is patient and forgiving, and thus
shall I be. Do 5'Our Father's' and 5 'Hail Mary's' and you
will be absolved of your sin."
A while later, their places were reversed as Fred came in
and confessed everything in detail. There was a short pause,
and Joseph answered, "I don't believe this. And you DARE
to call yourself a priest? You will do 500 "Our Father's,"
500 "Hail Mary's," donate all your money for the next month
to the church, and go around the church500 times on your knees
praying for God's forgiveness. Then come back and we'll discuss
absolution, but I make no guarantees."
"WHAT??!!" Father Fred was shocked."What about our agreement??"
Joe replied, "Hey, what I do on my time off is one thing, but
I take my job seriously."
______________
A farmer was feeding some spoiled vegetables to his pig.
The hog greedily snarffed up each over-ripe tomato, cuke and
leaf of lettuce offered, but when the farmer brought out the
potato, he hesitated. With a disappointed look in his eye, the
pig watched as the farmer delivered the starchy treat to the
sheep in the next pen. "Sorry, Wilbur," the farmer said,
"The spud's for ewe."
_____________
I've learned
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are
just assholes.
· I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only
takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
· I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen
minutes. After that, you'd better have a big weenie or huge
boobs.
· I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others -
they are more screwed up than you think.
· I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think
you're finished.
· I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we
are celebrities.
__________
Fred mistakenly gets on a bus full of war veterans, but upon
discovering it is going his way, decides to stay on for the ride.
He sits down next to a guy that jerks his head to the left
every few seconds, over and over. This really starts to get
on Fred's nerves so he asks him, "What the heck is wrong
with you?"The reply is, "I got this in the war."
Fred finds this pretty annoying so he switches seats.
The next guy he sits by has uncontrollable spastic twitches
in his right leg, causing him to kick the seat in front of him,
and even kicks Fred a few times.
So Fred asks him, "What the heck is wrong with you?"
Again the answer is, "I got this in the war."
Fred moves.
The next guy poor Fred sits by begins erratically flailing
his left hand. Fred says, "Let me guess, you got that in the war."
His reply was, "No, I got it out of my nose. I can't get it
off of my hand
_______________
The robber yells"Shut up and empty the cash register!"
The bartender says"Okay okay! Just don't shootI have a
wife and kids! I'll do whatever you say!"
The crook takes the money then puts the gun to the bartender's
head and says"Alright now give me a blow job!"
"Anything!" cries the bartender"Just don't shoot!"
The bartender starts to blow the crook. As the crook gets
excited he drops the gun. The bartender sees the gun on the
floor picks it up hands it back to the crook and yells"Hold the gun damn it!
One of my friends might walk in!"
__________
BUFFALO BILL
Are You Going To Finish Strong
http://www.buffaloschips.com/anything.htm
Arkansas Wedding
http://www.buffaloschips.com/wed.htm
Baby Girl On Jay Leno Show
http://www.buffaloschips.com/leno.htm
_________
FUN PAGES
Mr. Bean
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=20497&s=n
Death by Football
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41377&s=n
White Trash Tee
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42112&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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