Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Eva's father paid her a visit yesterday. I have never cared
much for the guy and the fact that he is Jamaican has nothing
to do with it, the fact that he stole from my daughter the last
time he saw her does. He had moved back to NYC long
before Eva was born but had been paying his child support
up to last fall and then stopped which is another reason for
not liking the guy. Then last week Buffy got a notice that he
had sent some money to the Friend Of The Court which I
figured was because of the hearing that was scheduled for
next month to issue a warrant for him. The next day he called
here and asked to talk to Buffy. He said he was coming back
to Michigan to take care of some business and wanted to
meet Eva.
Even though I feared problems, I also thought it was a good
thing for her to meet her father. I had been pointing out President
Obama since the 2008 elections to Eva as her father not
because I admire him but because I thought that it would be funny
if he ever visited the Sault for Eva to come running up screaming
Daddy Daddy Daddy. I've caught a lot of flak from the daughter
over that one so it was good to see that misunderstanding cleared
up heh heh. Anyhow Eva got on the phone and I told her to
sing a song for her dad and she sang, You Really Got A Hold On
Me to him the whole way through.
Anyhow he got here yesterday morning and with the exception
of going to the Secretary Of State office, spent the day with Eva.
That and the fact he is going through radiation and chemo for
lung cancer softened my desire to tell him off.
Other than that everything is boring around here.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Compassion Chips
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FEMALE COMPASSION.
The depth and breadth of it is truly amazing!
A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no
legs.
Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.
The first woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?'
The man said 'No,' so she gave him a hug and walked on.
The second woman said, 'Have you ever had a kiss?'
The man said, 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on.
The third woman came to him and said, 'Have you ever been fucked?'
The fellow's eyes lit up and with a big grin he said, 'No.'
She said, 'You will be when the tide comes in.'
Kent
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Yard Chips
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YARD WORK AS VIEWED FROM HEAVEN
(Overheard in a conversation between God and St.
Francis)
God:
Francis, you know all about gardens and nature; what
in the world is going on down there in the U.S.? What
happened to the dandelions, violets,thistles and the
stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance
garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil,
withstand drought, and multiply with abandon. The
nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts
butterflies, honeybees, and flocks of songbirds. I
expected to see a vast garden of color by now. All
I see are patches of green.
St. Francis:
It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. They are
called the Suburbanites. They started calling your
flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill
them and replace them with grass.
God:
Grass? But it is so boring, it's not colorful. It doesn't attract
butterflies, bees or birds, only grubs and sod worms. It's
temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want
grass growing?
St. Francis:
Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it has grown a little,
they cut it....sometimes two times a week.
God:
They cut it? Do they bale it like hay?
St Francis:
Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and
put it in bags.
God:
They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they
sell it?
St. Francis:
No sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw
it away.
GOD:
Now let me get this straight. . . they fertilize
it to make it grow and when it does grow,
they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
St. Francis:
Yes, sir.
God:
These Suburbanites must be relieved in the
summer when we cut back on the rain and
turn up the heat. That surely slows the
growth and saves them a lot of work.
St. Fran
You aren't going to believe this Lord, but
when the grass stops growing so fast, they
drag out hoses and pay more money to
water it so they can continue to mow it and
pay to get rid of it.
God:
What nonsense! At least they kept some of
the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius,
if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves
in the spring to provide beauty and shade in
the summer. In the autumn they fall to the
ground and form a natural blanket to keep
the moisture in the soiland protect the trees
and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves
becom compost to enhance the soil. It's a
natural circle of life.
St. Francis:
You'd better sit down, Lord. As soon as
the leaves fall, the Suburbanites rake
them into great piles and pay to have
them hauled away.
God:
No way! What do they do to protect the
shrubs and tree roots in the winter
to keep the soil moist and loose?
St Francis:
After throwing the leaves away, they go
out and buy something called mulch. They
haul it home and spread it around in place
of the leaves.
God:
And where do they get this mulch?
St. Francis:
They cut down the trees and grind
them up to make mulch.
God:
Enough! I don't want to think about
this anymore. Saint Catherine, you're
in charge of the arts. What movie have
you scheduled for us tonight?
St. Catherine:
"Dumb and Dumber," Lord. It's a really
stupid movie about. . .
God:
Never mind--I think I just heard the whole story
from Saint Francis!
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Short Chips
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A woman took an inexperienced man home one night. When they got to
her apartment, she suggested that they try a 69. "What do you mean?"
he asked. Not knowing quite how to explain, she said "you put your
head between my legs and I'll put my head between your legs" Still
unsure but willing, he agreed. As soon as he got his head between
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On the second attempt the very same thing happened. The man
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going?" she asked, to which he replied "If you think I'm sticking
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A third grade school teacher was trying to explain to her class the
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teacher said, "That's right Charlotte. Now, what do you call it if
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Farmer Petrovich is whipping and slapping his sheep when the local
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You might recall that John Hinckley was a seriously deranged
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Hinckley was absolutely obsessed with movie star Jodie Foster,
extremely jealous, and in his twisted mind, loved Jodie Foster
to the point that to make himself well known to her,
he attempted to assassinate President Reagan.
There is speculation Hinckley may soon be released as having
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mental facility where he is being treated:
To: John Hinckley
From: Mrs. Nancy Reagan
My family and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you
how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in
your recovery. In our fine country's spirit of understanding
and forgiveness, we want you to know there is a nonpartisan
consensus of compassion and forgiveness throughout.
The Reagan family and I want you to know that no grudge is
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Best wishes,
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P.S. While you have been incarcerated, Barack Obama has
been banging Jodie Foster like a screen door in a tornado.
You might want to look into that.
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Short Chips
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After working together for a while, Dick and Jane's office romance
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time!" To which Jane replies "If I'd have known you had more time, I
would have taken off my pantyhose!"
On Saturday nights, Arabs sit under palm trees and eat their dates
Jack had a blind date with Jill for the prom and, as the evening
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amazed. "No, silly!" she giggled. "I've never objected!"
Stan Kegel
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Breakfast at Gingers (cute video)
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Someone Who Loved Me Still
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Babies and Puppies
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Rick w/ ~I Am A Free Spirit
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Road Train Trucks
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Texas Rules Of Ettiquette
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Hard Drive Check
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Bible Search
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Cloud Computing in Plain English
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Hoppy The Deer
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Links
But I could Be Wrong
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Cabbies Worst Passengers
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Candle In The Wind
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Card Trick Joke
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CC
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Copperfield Hans Betsy
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Pee Chips
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A Jewish Bubbah had waited a long time for a male grandchild. After
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treats, Bubbah noticed that her little ainicle (grandchild) was
uncomfortable. She asked him what was wrong.
He replied, "Ich darf pisshen" (I need to urinate).
Looking around, she could see no bathroom available so she took the
little boy into a narrow alley between two buildings, took down his
pants and, as he peed, began to kvell (express a special joy that
could come only from one's offspring).
She said repeatedly, "A leiben aff don petzele!" (Bless your little
penis.) "S'hut vert a millyun dollas!!" (It's worth a million
dollars).
While she doted with overflowing satisfaction on her evaluation, a
man opened a window in the nearby tenement, looked down and called,
"Lady, efsher ihr vilt aroof koomen, mir gib'n a! ! n estimate?"
(Perhaps you would come up here and give me an estimate?)
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Toon Chips
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Two Short Of A Threesome
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XBox
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Efficiency
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Limerick Chips
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A horny young blond from Vancouver
Liposuctioned herself with a Hoover
Despite the seduction
Achieved by the suction
Was generally thought to improve 'er
In Las Vegas a maiden named Carol
Was arrested for wearing a barrel.
She'd not drawn the joker
While playing strip poker
And lost all her other apparel.
There once was a man named Bill
Who had a loyal wife named Hill
He played harmonica,
Made love to Monica
And now he's in for the kill!
<Snagged by>
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Parting Chips
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Jane was one of those UGLY women, so ugly it hurts. She never had a
boyfriend so she went to a Psychic for help.
"Honey," said the Psychic. "You will not have luck in love in this
life. But, at the reincarnation, you will be a very desired woman
and all men will fall at your feet."
Jane left very happy and so excited, as she went over a bridge she
thought, "The sooner I die, the sooner my next life begins."
She decided to jump off the bridge right away.
But, incredibly Jane didn't die!
She fell on the back of a truck full of bananas, she lost her senses
and fainted. As soon as she recovered, still drowsy and not being
able to see very well, and not knowing where she was, she started
touching her surroundings, feeling all the bananas she mumbled with
a huge smile on her face,
"Gentlemen! Gentlemen! Please! One at a time!"
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1849
Salt
The gang arrive at the Salt mine and good ole dad pays the way so
everyone can take the tour.
Rudy: This is just like a real box we are getting into.
Diana: I think this 'box' will drop really fast and take us
underground.
The bottom seems to drop ....
Katie: Mama!
Rudy: Hey my stomach is hitting the roof of my mouth.
Val: Someone stand on my paws, I am leaving the floor of this
thing.
Suddenly it is over...
The door opens and a tour guide is there: Enjoy your ride?
Sandi: Do you have a barf bag?
Guide: Follow me and we will get into these electric carts and we
will
go through the mine shafts. Can anyone tell me which way is North?
Rudy: Ahh no.
Guide: The temperature here is a constant 72 degrees and the salt
is a natural preservative that is why companies keep their records
here
and the movie companies store their films and accessories here.
To be continued
The herd
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Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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