Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
As you have requested here is August's list of Bizarre Holidays.
Face it not a lot to get excited about during August, it's hot,
vacation's over, so here are some reasons to crack open a Bud or for
example on the 3rd, go get a large traditional watermelon, chill and
fill with vodka and enjoy.
8/1 Friendship Day and National Raspberry Cream Pie Day
8/2 National Ice Cream Sandwich Day
8/3 National Watermelon Day
8/4 Twins Day Festival
8/5 National Mustard Day
8/6 Wiggle Your Toes Day
8/7 Sea Serpent Day
8/8 Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night
8/9 National Polka Festival
8/10 Lazy Day
8/11 Presidential Joke Day
8/12 Middle Child's Day
8/13 Blame Someone Else Day
8/14 National Creamsicle Day
8/15 National Relaxation Day and National Failures Day
8/16 Bratwurst Festival
8/17 National Thrift shop Day
8/18 Bad Poetry Day
8/19 Potato Day
8/20 National Radio Day
8/21 National Spumoni Day
8/22 Be An Angel Day
8/23 National Sponge cake Day
8/24 Knife Day
8/25 Kiss-And-Make-Up Day
8/26 National Cherry Popsicle Day
8/27 Petroleum Day
8/28 World Sauntering Day
8/29 More Herbs, Less Salt Day
8/30 National Toasted Marshmallow Day
8/31 National Trail Mix Day
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Dating Chips
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A young innocent girl is about to go on her 1st date and is given
some word of advise and warning by her mother; "Look darling, they
all want the same, so do be very careful and don't you ever let him;
1.) kiss your lips. Your lips are as soft as rose petals and will
shrivel,
2.) or touch your breast. They are like of thin crystal and can
shatter, and
3.) never ever to touch your "private" part. That one is like a
"GRILL"
and will burn everything coming to touch it."
The girl is off full of excitement and anxiety, and Mom waits and
waits until just after midnight when she's back. "How was it?" asks
mom.
"Oh mom, it was absolutely fantastic, and I think I'm in love!"
"Lets not go too fast dear. And did he tried to come too close?"
"Well, yes, he did and I did as you said and he was absolutely
careful not to hurt or harm me!" "What do you mean careful, did you
let him do something?" "Not exactly mom, see it was like that.
First he wanted to kiss me and I told him what you said, and he
stopped. Then he went to touch my breast and again I told him what
you said, and he stopped. Then he slowly went under my skirt close
to the private part, and I told him what you said, and he then took
his hands out and said; "What a coincidence, I happen to have a nice
piece of "Fillet" and would love to put it in your "Grill" to
cook!!" "WHAT?!?" screams the mother, "I knew that bastard is no
different to the others. You hopefully stopped him there too,
didn't you?" "Well, not really mom. You see, he promised to be
careful and was very careful not to "burn" his fillet. Every now
and then he took it out and had me "taste it" to see if it was
cooked or not."
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Coyote Chips
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The city boy goes to countryside to visit his uncle. After the sun
goes down, the boy hears strange, another-world howling. He gets
frightened and runs to his uncle. "Uncle, uncle, there are
werewolves!"
"That's rubbish, boy, ain't no such thing".
"'Then, there must be man-eating wolves".
"No, we haven't got those buddies, either."
"What is this sound, then?" the boy asks.
"They are coyotes".
"Coyotes? What are those?"
"They look a lot like dogs. In fact, ya can consider them a kind of
dog." The boy wants to find out more: "Why are they making that
frightening noise?"
"See, nephew, we ain't got many trees around here. We got cactuses!"
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Fucking Chips
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A friend of mine recently came home from a trek across Europe. He
started in Spain, made his way through France and Italy, and took a
jaunt through Austria on his way to Germany. He was traveling along
when he came upon a town in Austria called Fucking. Folks, this is a
real town. It was supposedly founded in the sixth century by a guy
named Fucko. My buddy saw the sign and just had to stop. He ate in a
diner, washed up and went on his merry way happy to have experienced
Fucking in Austria. About a half-hour after Fucking, he got a flat
tire. He went to change it but the spare was flat as well. While
waiting for a good Samaritan to come to his rescue, he noticed that
he no longer had his passport. He realized that he must have left it
on the table in the Fucking restaurant. Finally a motorist came by
and stopped. My friend explained his predicament, but the locals
were en-route to some ancient Celtic festival and could not lend a
hand. When they told him this, my friend began to plead. "Come on,
help me out. Let's get back to Fucking, then you can leave. It's
getting late and I don't want to be on the street outside Fucking
all alone." "Sorry," was their reply, "you'd better start walking."
"Well then, excuse me," my friend said a little pissed. "I have to
get back to Fucking myself."
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Short Chips
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A foreign diplomat was sitting beside a very beautiful blonde who
possessed all the social graces. During the course of the dinner,
he put his hand under the table and started to feel her ankle. She
gave him a brilliant smile. Encouraged, he went a little further
and reached the calf of her leg with the same results. The lady
smiled and he, becoming emboldened with this encouragement, went
above the knees. Very soon, giving the diplomat a lovely smile she
leaned and whispered in his ear: "When you get far enough to
discover that I'm a man, don't change the expression on your
face-I'm Secret Agent No.
13."
Two girls were discussing their heavy smoking habits. "I get such a
yen for a cigarette," said one, "that the only effective
countermeasure is to pop a Life Saver into my mouth and suck
strongly." "That's all very well for you," huffed her friend. "But
I don't happen to live in a house that's right on the beach!"
A blonde and her girlfriend went to the beach for the day. As they
wandered up and down the shoreline in their bikinis the girl-friend
began to notice that the blonde seemed to be having some difficulty
walking. The girlfriend finally said, "Did you hurt your leg or
something? You're walking very strangely." The blonde replied, "I
have a big date tonight and I've got curlers in my hair."
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Pill Chips
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Doctor, you've gotta help me... my wife Sharon just isn't
interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I
can give her?"
"Look, Charlie, I can't prescribe..."
"Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this
upset?
I'm desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate; my life is going
utterly to Hell! You've got to help me."
The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of
pills.
"Ordinarily, I wouldn't do this. These are experimental, but the
tests so far indicate that they're VERY powerful. Don't give Sharon
more than ONE, understand?.... JUST one."
"One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?"
"Um... okay."
Charlie expresses gratitude, and departs for home, where Sharon has
dinner waiting. When dinner is finished, Sharon goes to the kitchen
to bring dessert. Charlie, in fumbling haste, pulls the pills from
his pocket and drops one into Sharon's coffee. He reflects for a
moment, hesitates, then drops in a second pill. And then he begins
to worry.
The Doc did say they were powerful.
Then an inspiration strikes: Charlie drops one pill into his own
coffee.
Sharon returns with the shortcake, and they enjoy their dessert and
coffee, our Charlie with poorly concealed anticipation. Sure
enough, a few minutes after they finish, Sharon shudders a little,
sighs deeply and heavily, and a strange smoky look enters her eyes.
In a deep, throaty, near-whisper, in a tone of voice Charlie has
never heard Sharon use before, she says, "I... need... a
man..!!!."
Charlie eyes glitter and his hands tremble as he replies,....
"Me...
too..!!!."
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Moon Glow
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Insp/A/M_G.html
Angel Flight Via Virginia
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgkxiqKj0nU
This Side Of Town
http://www.poetrybyken.us/lpoems51/This%20Side%20Of%20Town.html
Carol w/A Chance At Life
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Surfin Surfari
Geely Automotive- Mopeds and Volvos
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geely_Automobile
Railway Pictures Via Dianne
http://yourrailwaypictures.com/
Airline Nostalgia
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Thinkers And Their Desks!
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IRONIC, Isn't It?
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
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Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Bandwidth Meter
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3D Bubble Button~PSP
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TutorGig.com~ Search
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Animal World
Doggie Zone Via Dianne
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Kitty Korner
Amazing Horse Trainer
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Shark Attack
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Movie Links
I love my car
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I feel good
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If I was a terrorist
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Boogie Woogie
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Ford Police Chase
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Man Cheats DEA
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Missile
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Ghost Chips
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A professor at Auburn University was giving a lecture on Paranormal
Studies.
To get a feel for his audience, he asks,
'How many people here believe in ghosts?'
About 90 students raise their hands.
Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do
any of you think you have seen a ghost?'
About 40 students raise their hands.
That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has
anyone here ever talked to a ghost?'
About 15 students raise their hand.
Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?'
Three students raise their hands.
That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further...Have any
of you ever made love to a ghost?'
Way in the back, Ahmed raises his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses and says 'Son, all the years
I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made
love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your
experience.'
The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began
to make his way up to the podium.
When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, 'So,
Ahmed, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?'
Ahmed replied, "Well this is embarrassing. From way back there I
thought you said Goats."
Gordon
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Toon Chips
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Talkin Dirty
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32814.htm
Golf
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Filling A Hole
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32816.htm
Somewhere in America
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In bed
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32847.htm
Better Half
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Limerick Chips
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As the elevator car left our floor,
Big Sue caught her tits in the door;
She yelled a good deal,
But had they been real,
She'd have yelled considerably more.
______________________________
An ingenious botanist named Pace,
Grew cunts in pots at his place.
When they ripened, he'd pluck 'em
And eat them or fuck them--
They were simpler to grow than to chase.
______________________________
Breathed a tender young man from Australia,
"My darling, please let me unveilia.
And then, of, my own,
If you'll kindly lie prone;
I'll endeavor, my sweet, to impalia."
<Snagged by>
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Parting Chips
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Three gays were talking about their perfect reincarnation. The first
one says, "I'd love to reincarnate in a mirror and see all those
handsome men shave in the mornings."
The second gay guy says, "I wish I were underwear so I could rub my
face in their dicks and asses."
The third gay guy was thinking of something better to say, and
replied, "I'd love to an ambulance. I would love to have three or
four men stuck through my behind at a time and then run through the
streets of the city shouting, 'Ooha-ooha, ooha-ooha, ooha-ooha'."
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1851
Wild Things
Ring ring ring
BJ: Hello.
Sandi in her calm voice: Dad.
BJ: Yes Sandi.
Sandi: It is Rudy.
BJ: What about Rudy?
Sandi: He has himself chained to the Freezer and to the barbqueue.
He has his apron on and cooking utinsels and says he will fight to
the
death to protect his food supply.
BJ: Sandi has any one threatened his food?
Sandi: Well he heard Miss Tami say he should not have any food
outside.
BJ: How do you feel about that?
Sandi: Doesn't make me any difference. I just finished my kill.
BJ: What did you kill.
Sandi: A 10 point buck. Hmm tasted so good.
The herd in Guthrie
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Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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