Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
We could get rid of our illegal Mexicans in this country. All we
have to do is call them spies and trade 15 million of them back to
Mexico for one American
Ellis
By the time I left for college my dad had bought a early 50's DC
Case with three point hitch and PTO and was continuing upgrading the
equipment. With a PTO he was able to get rid of the old baler with
its cranky Continental motor but it still had just as many problems
knotting the bale and when someone extra was around they rode on the
baler watching when it missed a knot so they could wrap a spare
piece of twine around it and prevent stopping the process to run the
bale back through a second time. A lot of the problem was in the
brand of twine you used. Even in the 80's when he had a New Holland
Baler it still had knotting problems.
I came home in 1975 from the Navy and my dad had bought a PTO Mower
to go on the Case. With the old mowers we were using it was easy to
tell when you had hit an anthill or a chunk of brush as the wheels
locked up on the mower and you were dragging it. It also required
someone to ride on the mower and with two of us in the Navy my dad
had opted for a tractor mower.
I hopped on the tractor and headed for a field and started cutting.
I had a habit of breaking machinery and I was a bit upset when I hit
the first ant hill and the mower instead of being at a right angle
to the tractor mowing hay was dragging limply behind the tractor.
I shut it off and waited for dad to come over and yell about it when
I found out that it was designed to break away like that to prevent
damage if you hit something. He knew it would do that and just
wanted to see the look on my face when it happened.
When you take off 1200 to 1500 bales of hay a year to feed your
cattle you have a proportionately large amount of manure to shovel
in the spring and spread on the fields. A manure spreader would
have been nice but instead we had a small trailer and spread it by
hand. We are talking hundreds of loads of manure. When the number
of hands went down my dad bought a manure spreader and finally a
Massey Ferguson 35 with a loader. The F-30, the Case and the Oliver
were long gone having been replaced by a pair of International W-4's
which are the same running gear as a Farmall H but lower to the
ground. The PTO mower was gone though replaced by horse mowers, my
dad had hated that pto mower too. He had a 3 pt. post hole auger
after all the thousands of post holes I had dug by hand and a seed
drill instead of a cyclone seeder. I could have had so much more
time as a teenager with all that stuff, but then I probably wouldn't
have been able to bench press 280 pounds without ever having lifted
weights before and I learned how to fix old stuff and make it run
long enough to finish a season, something that always helped me.
Have a great weekend ... buff
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FREE Sample Offers for Summer--Weekly!
Sign up for our newsletters and receive FREE sample offers in your
inbox weekly.
Get Sample Offers Now ->
Copy and paste the link below into your browser's address bar:
http://buffaloschips.com/sumamp
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Truck Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The doc told a guy that masturbating before sex
often helped men last longer during the act. The
man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it,"
He spent the rest of the day thinking about where
to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought
about the restroom, but that was too open. He
considered an alley, but figured that was too
unsafe.
Finally, he realized his solution.
On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side
of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath
as if he was examining the truck.
Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and
started to play with his unit.
He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he
grew closer to the big finish, he felt a quick tug at
the bottom of his pants.
Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm,
he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?"
He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down
there?"
The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's
busted."
Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your
brakes too while you're down there because your
truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."
Edie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Huge Dick
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32171.htm
Free To Good Home
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32172.htm
Denmark News
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32173.htm
Dont Point
http://www.buffaloschips.com/41245.htm
Taliban Singles
http://www.buffaloschips.com/41253.htm
Gas
http://www.buffaloschips.com/41254.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drive Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have run across the term cyber sex a few times lately, so I
decided to try to figure out what it meant. I figured it had
something to do with the computer, so I started trying to find the
sex drive on mine. I looked everywhere, in all the folders on the
My Computer section, the add/uninstall software, install hardware
part of the control panel... then I got out all the manuals and
went through them.
I finally came to the conclusion that my computer is not equipped
with one so I decided to go to the computer store and see if I could
buy one. I wanted to look intelligent and scholarly, so I wore my
math hat.
Well, the salesperson in the first store was a rather stern looking
woman, I gave her the make and model of my computer and asked her if
she had any sex drives in stock. She kind of scowled at me and
asked me if I was trying to get smart with her...figuring she had
been impressed with my math hat, I replied that I tried to be smart
with everyone... she said, rather rudely I thought, that she
couldn't help me and walked away. Huh, must not have had any in
stock.
In the second store, I gave the salesperson the make and model of my
computer and asked it they had any sex drives in stock... He kind
of snickered and asked if I meant a hard drive, I thought about it
for a minute and told him Yeah, maybe that, but I think I should
already have one installed... he started laughing at me said
something about me trying to kill him... You're killing me!
or something like that, and walked away. Hmmmm, must be out here
too. Must be hard to keep in stock. I wasn't trying to kill
him...I wasn't even hurting him.
The guy in the third store laughed and asked me if I'd just fallen
off the turnip truck... I assured him I'd never been on a turnip
truck, but I'd fallen off the manure wagon a few times. He mumbled
something about that explaining it. She's fallen off the wagon,
that explains it and walked away laughing.
The guy in the fourth store said something like boob under his
breath and walked away... wonder why he only noticed one? Anyway I
figured they must not carry them in stores.
Maybe have to order from a catalog or get on the Internet and search
for one.
So that's where I am now... If any of you have some computer skills
and could help me locate my sex drive, I would appreciate it. Then
all I'd have to do is figure out what to do with it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SAVE $60 - FREE SHIPPING - Gateway Netbook Intel Atom 1.6GHz 1GB
DDR2 160GB HDD 10.1" Win7 Red $269.97
http://buffaloschips.com/tdntbk
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Milk Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joe decides to take his boss Phil to play 9 holes on their lunch.
While both men are playing excellent they are often held up by two
women in front of them moving at a very slow pace. Joe offers to
talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. He gets
about half of the way there stops and jogs back.
His boss asks what the problem is. "Well one of those women is my
wife and the other my mistress," complained Joe. Phil just shook
his head at Joe and started toward the women determined to finish
his round of golf. Preparing to ask the ladies to speed up their
game, he too stopped short and turned around.
Joe asked "what's wrong?" It's a small, small world Joe, and you're
fired"
Sadly neglected by her husband, a horny housewife turned to her
next-door neighbor for advice. "Why don't you order your milk from
the milkman" was the suggestion, "and when the bill comes, see if
you can settle it with sex." This seemed like an excellent idea, and
sure enough, when the bill was presented, the milkman was delighted
to settle for a long and energetic screw. Putting his pants back
on, the milkman reached for the bill to mark it "Paid in Full"
"Oh, no you don't," said the housewife, grabbing the bill. "You
brought me this milk a quart at a time, and that's the way I'm gonna
pay for it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Encore Dental
-Plans for individuals and families
-Different levels of benefits tailored to fit your needs
-Major and basic services covered
-No claim forms to fill out
-Not a discount plan
-No waiting for reimbursement
Keep your own dentist too!
Protect their smiles and your wallet!
Encore Dental
Limited time, Internet offer.
http://buffaloschips.com/encore
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Counseling Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A husband and wife go visit a marriage counselor.
First, the wife speaks to the counselor alone.
The counselor asks,
"You say you've been married 20 years, so what seems
to be the problem?"
The wife replies, "It's my husband --
he's driving me crazy! I'm going
to leave him if he continues!"
"How does he drive you crazy?"
"For 20 years," she says,
"he's been doing these stupid things. First,
whenever we go out, he's always looking at the floor
and refuses to go
near anyone. It's very embarrassing."
The marriage counselor is amused,
"Anything else?"
"He keeps picking his nose all the time! Even in public!"
"Hmm, anything else?"
The wife hesitates, "whenever we're making love,
he NEVER lets me be on
top! Once in a while, I'd like to be in control!"
"Ah," says the counselor,
"I think I'll talk to your husband now."
So the wife goes out of the room and the husband enters.
The counselor tells him,
"Your wife says that you've been driving her crazy.
She might even leave you."
The husband looks shocked,
"WHAT? For 20 years I've been loving and
considerate and I've always given her what she wants!
What could be the problem?"
The counselor explains,
"She says that you've got these habits that are
driving her crazy. First, you're always acting strange in
public--looking at the floor and never going near anyone else."
The husband looks concerned,
"Oh, you don't understand! It's one of the
few things my father told me to do in
his deathbed and I swore I'd obey
everything he said."
"What did he say?"
"He said that I should never step on anyone's toes!"
The counselor looks amused,
"Actually, that means that you should not do
anything that would cause anyone else to get angry."
The husband looks sheepish, "Oh. Okay."
The counselor continues,
"And you keep picking your nose in public."
"Well, its another thing my father
specifically commanded me to do! He
told me to always keep my nose clean."
The counselor looks faint,
"That means that you should not indulge in
any criminal activity."
"Oh," says the husband looking very stupid.
"And finally, she says that you never
allow her to be on top during your
lovemaking."
"This," says the husband seriously,
"is the last thing my father
commanded me to do on his deathbed
and it's the most important thing."
"What did he say?"
The husband replies, "In his dying breath, he said,
'Don't screw up!'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Right to Bare Legs - Get smooth, sexy legs that look airbrushed to
perfection.
The right to bare legs allows your own skin tone to glow through for
a perfect blend and natural look for your legs. It goes on smoothly,
evenly, and quickly with a sponge applicator. It's also waterproof,
sweat proof, and wont rub off on your clothes.
Right To Bare Legs moisturizer! Effectively conceal spider veins,
sunspots, birthmarks, bruises and even tattoos!
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/bare
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last time Bill was in the hospital, he really enjoyed himself:
Patting the bottoms of the pretty nurses, offering to show them his
circumcision scar, and the like. One nurse finally had all she
could stand of his crude behavior and said, "A pervert like you
should be living in a whore house!" Bill grinned at her and said,
"Well, it WOULD be cheaper than here, but I can't get my insurance
to pay for it."
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 45th
wedding anniversary. The husband decided to give his wife a gift --
a tombstone, with the inscription: "Here lies my wife... cold as
ever"
Later, the furious wife, giving homage to her husband's reliance on
the little blue bill, bought a return present, a tombstone with the
inscription: "Here lies my husband... stiff at last!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pasta Boat - Microwave Cooking Pasta Noodles Fast & Easy
Pasta Boat is the fast and easy way to cook, drain and serve perfect
pasta dishes in one microwaveable pot without the hassle!
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/boat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Your Name
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Misc2/YourName.html
John w/ Lollipop
http://heavens-gates.com/50s/lollipop/
Signs Of A Bad Day
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/badday.html
Powers Of Prayer
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/ThePowerOfPrayer.htm
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
http://buffaloschips.com/scoop
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
How Many Nuclear Weapons Are in Range of Your City ? Via Wesley
http://www.nukeometer.com
Liberty Air Show!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/liberty.html
2010 Calgary Stampede Parade Via Dianne
http://tinyurl.com/StampedeCalgary
The most beautiful seatbelt advocacy commercial ever
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2o1oJ1zk_w
Italian Clock
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdN36f2l8h4
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschips.com/kit
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Blue Screen View
http://download.cnet.com/BlueScreenView/3000-2094_4-10965136.html
Open Source Solution to Computer Backup, Restoration and "Ghosting"
http://xrl.in/2ohu
Create Fake Photos, Captions and Magazines
http://www.writeonit.com
Quick Logo Maker
http://www.supalogo.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschips.com/date
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Koalas In a Heatwave
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/koalas.html
Magic Cat
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/magic.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.
You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
http://buffaloschips.com/restore
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Olympic 1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91901.htm
Olympic 2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91902.htm
Only in L.A
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91903.htm
Onzin
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91904.htm
Original Farmers Daughters
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91905.htm
Alien Fishing For Humans
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fishie.htm
Anakondaukus
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ana.htm
Are You Going To Finish Strong
http://www.buffaloschips.com/anything.htm
Arkansas Wedding
http://www.buffaloschips.com/wed.htm
Baby Girl On Jay Leno Show
http://www.buffaloschips.com/leno.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shipwrecked Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle
of nowhere, the following people are stranded.
• Two Italian men and one Italian woman
• Two French men and one French woman
• Two German men and one German woman
• Two Greek men and one Greek woman
• Two English men and one English woman
• Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman
• Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman
• Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman
• Two Irish men and one Irish woman
• Two American men and one American woman
One month later, the following things have occurred:
• One Italian man killed the other Italian man for
the Italian woman.
• The two French men and the French woman are
living happily together in Ménage à Trois .
• The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of
alternating visits with the German woman.
• The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and
the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
• The two English men are waiting for someone to
introduce them to the English woman.
• The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian
woman and started swimming to another island.
• The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting
instructions.
• The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy-liquor-
store-restaurant-laundry, and have gotten the woman
pregnant in order to supply employees for their store.
• The two Irish men divided the island into North and
South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if
sex is in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy
after a few liters of coconut whiskey. However, they
are satisfied because the English are not having any
fun.
• The two American men are contemplating suicide,
because the American woman will not shut up and
complains relentlessly about:
o Her body
o The true nature of feminism
o What the sun is doing to her skin
o How she can do anything that they can do
o The necessity of fulfillment
o The equal division of household chores
o How sand and palm trees make her look fat
o How her last boyfriend respected her opinion and
treated her nicer than they do
o How her relationship with her mother is the root
cause of all her problems
o Why didn't they bring a damn cell phone so they
could call 911 and get them all rescued off this
lord-forsaken deserted island in the middle of
nowhere so she can get her nails done and go
shopping.
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
well honey
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f050.html
flashing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f051.html
global warming
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f052.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
iRenew - New energy for life
Experience instant results the moment you begin using the iRenew
Energy Balance System products. You will get more energy, better
sleep, increase in strength, greater flexibility, enhanced balance
and healthier blood.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/rebs
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poetic Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JACK AND JILL
Jack and Jill Went up the hill,
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass and grabbed her ass,
And now two of his front teeth are missing.
Jack and Jill Went up the hill,
Each one had a quarter.
Jill came down with fifty cents,
Do you think they went for water?
Jack and Jill went up the hill
For a bit of hanky panky,
Jill came back with a very sore crack,
Jack must have been a Yankee!
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
For just an itty bitty.
Jill is now two months overdue,
And Jack has left the city.
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water.
Jill forgot to take the pill,
So now they've got a daughter.
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
With a little keg of brandy.
Jack got stewed, Jill got screwed,
Now it's Jack, and Jill, and Andy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If your sick and tired of the heat!!
This could be the most important letter you read this year!! You can
find out in this letter how to reduce heat stress and improve your
life and the life of those you care about!! with a Body Cooling
Vest.
Make your Body Cooling Vest cheaply for about $15. A
Decent Cool Vest retails for around $180. Get better results
at work and feel better at the same time.
http://buffaloschips.com/cool
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A drunk, passed out in the middle of town, was picked up by the
cops.
After sobering up, the cops asked his name, he replied "John
Fuckinower" .
Not believing him, they asked where he worked.
He said "the mill on 3rd street".
They called, when someone answered, the cop asked "Do you have a
'Fuckinower' over there?"
The guy replied "Hell no, we're lucky we get a 20 minute coffee
break!"
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fantastic Fish Ponds
You'll Have The Fish Pond You've Always Dreamed of Or You Get to
Keep This Breakthrough Book For FREE!
Jam-packed With Proven Techniques That Will Teach You How to Have
the Ultimate Backyard Fish Pond and Make Sure Your Fish Are Healthy
and Happy - Guaranteed!
http://buffaloschips.com/fish
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment