THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
"Leaders are made, they are not born.
They are made by hard effort,
which is the price which all of us must pay
to achieve any goal that is worthwhile."
~Vince Lombardi
________________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I am a pretty happy camper. It does not take one
long to look at me to surmise that I enjoy a good
buffet. Yep, the bulge in my belly makes it apparent
that I happen to enjoy what I eat. And unfortunately,
one of my favorite all you can eat restaurants closed
on this side of town about a year ago. That used to mean
about a fifteen minutes drive to find a decent spot to stuff
my face. However, recently, the new Golden Corral opened
just a couple minutes away from me. Lunch was pretty good,
and yep, just as their ad says, for around 10 bux, I enjoyed
myself today. Ham, chicken, mac and cheese, icecream,
corn on the cob, potato salad, watermelon. need I say more?
I spent most of the afternoon digesting and I
took an old John Grisham novel with me.
Remember his read, "The Last Juror"? Some how it was one
that I'd not read. So, I spent the afternoon burping up lotsa
digested food, turning pages, and sucking down caffein
and sugar. Cindy, the waitress
or do you call those folks wait staff now?
is a very nice young lady. And when she saw
that walking over to the food tables was a bit of a
challenge for me, she was very helpful.
When you can have a relaxing afternoon kickin back with a
good book, and a perky young blond thing who brings you
a glass of mountain dew anytime you want it, what more
could you need for happiness? it was a good day
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Martin aka the postman
_________________
THE COMICS
the abduction
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i050.html
part time job
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i051.html
I hit the lottery
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i052.html
happy to see us
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i053.html
a happpy meal
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i054.html
the rent
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i055.html
she was shocked
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i056.html
place the blame
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i057.html
bless you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i058.html
warning signs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i059.html
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
the condom song
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100137.html
size matters
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100138.html
honk honk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies10039.html
oops
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100140.html
reverse bunge jumpin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100141.html
the whale and the boat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies100142.html
______________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
my dear friend
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd286.html
the invasion
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd287.html
body art
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd289.html
_______________
Women's One Liners
I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
A hard-on does not count as personal growth.
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
Do I look like a fricking people person?
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
If I want to hear the patter of little feet, I'll put
shoes on my cat.It's not the size that counts, it's the,
umm, actually it is the size.
Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
See no evil, hear no evil, and date no evil.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
____________
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary.
Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town.
A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of
their long and happy marriage."Well, it dates back to our
honeymoon," explained the lady. "We visited the Grand Canyon
and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule.
We hadn't gone too far when my husband's mule stumbled.
My husband quietly said 'That's once.'
We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again.
Once more my husband quietly said, 'That's twice.'
We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time.
My husband took a pistol from his pocket and shot him.
I started to protest over his treatment of the mule when he
looked at me and quietly said... 'That's once.'"
_______________
Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine
spring day in his new Ballina Head parish. He walked to the
window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful
day outside. He then noticed there was a donkey lying dead
in the middle of his front lawn. Not knowing who else to call,
he promptly called the local police station. The conversation
went like this, "'Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones.
How might I help you .... ?"
"And the best of the day ter yer good self. This is Father
O'Malley at St. Francis Xavier Catholic Church. There's a
donkey lying dead right in der middle of me front lawn."
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied
with a smirk, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that
you people took care of the last rites .... !"
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment and then
Father O'Malley replied, "Ah, to be sure, that is true; but we
are also obliged to notify the next of kin ..... !"
_____________
A senior citizen goes to his doctor and says, "Doctor, I have
sex only once a week."
The doctor asks, "How old are you?"
The patient replies "Seventy-five."
"Wait now. You're 75 and have sex once a week. I think that's
wonderful. What are you complaining about?"
"My neighbor is almost eighty years old, and he says he has
sex three times a week, every week," he groaned.
The doctor smiled and said, "I can easily solve your problem.
From now on, you say the same thing."
______________
A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and
was asking his students if they were familiar with them.
"Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'come fly the
friendly skies'?" Joe answered the correct airline.
"Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't
leave home without it?"
Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty.
"Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, 'Just do it'?"
And John answered, "Mom...."
__________
Three priests died and came up to St. Peter at the Pearly
Gates. St. Peter looked up the priests and informed them there
had been a mistake; they were not supposed to die for another
10 years or so. The priests were upset about this and asked St.
Peter what could be done. St. Peter said that he would send them
back to earth in any form they wanted until the problem was fixed.
St Peter asks the first priest, " What do you want to become?"
and the first priest replies," I always wanted to be an eagle and
see all of God's creation from above."
"Done." St. Peter snaps his fingers and the first priest disappears.
St. Peter asks the second priest, "What do you want to become?"
and the second priest replies, "I always wanted to be a dolphin
and see all of God's creation from under the sea."
"Done." St Peter snaps his fingers and the second priest disappears
like the first.
St. Peter asks the third priest, "What do you want to become?""
and the third priest shyly says, ""Well... my wish is kind of sinful."
"No matter. You can choose any form you want." St. Peter says and
the third priest replies, "Well, I always wanted to be a...stud, you know?"
St .Peter replies, "I don't see a problem with that." St. Peter snaps
his fingers and the third priest disappears.
Later, Jesus asked St. Peter, " I heard there was a problem with
three priests being here before their time. Where are they?"
St. Peter explained, "One is soaring high above the Grand Canyon.
The second is swimming in the North Atlantic. The third is on the
left rear tire of a Chevy Blazer."
___________
BUFFALO BILL
IKEA Adverts
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90203.htm
I love the beach
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90204.htm
Indian teacher explaining the word fuck
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90205.htm
____________
FUN PAGES
Miss Teri Tale: Vote 4 Me
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41755&s=n
Adriana Lima Compilation
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=20495&s=n
Missile Command Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41543&s=n
Snort Vitamins
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41379&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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