THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
"For in every ill-turn of fortune the most unhappy sort
of unfortunate man is the one who has been happy"
Boethius
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama optimistically
opened a 47-nation nuclear summit Monday, boosted by
Ukraine's announcement that it will give up its weapons-
grade uranium. More sobering: Obama's counterterrorism
chief pointedly warned that al-Qaida is vigorously
pursuing material and expertise for a bomb.
Ukraine's decision dovetailed with Obama's goal of
securing all vulnerable nuclear materials worldwide
within four years — an objective that the White House
hopes will be endorsed by all summit countries at a closing
session Tuesday, even if the means to accomplish it are unclear.
I couldn't help but laugh at the irony. Don't get me
wrong. I want to live in a safer world just like everyone
else. But you know what is odd about this so called peace
summit? Here our president offers to take other countries'
unwanted nuclear materials in an effort to make the world
safer, right? and again, that is a good thing! BUT... what nobody
stopped to ask?? What the hell are we going to do with it when we
don't even know what to do with our own?????
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______
THE COMICS
a nightcap gone bad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v010.html
sunblock
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v011.html
how sweet
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v012.html
hey
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v013.html
your parents
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v014.html
does not count
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v015.html
bastard brand
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v016.html
_______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
demolition call
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9429.html
Tom Mabe
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9430.html
pancakes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9431.html
shut up, George!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9432.html
warm
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9433.html
Top 10 things a man would do if he woke up with
a vagina for a day:
1. Immediately go shopping for a huge cucumber
and zucchini.
2. Squat over a hand held mirror for 2 hours.
3. See if he could actually do the splits.
4. See if it's possible to launch a ping
pong ball 20 feet.
5. Cross his legs with out rearranging
6. Get picked up at a bar in less than 10
minutes before closing time.
7. Have multiple orgasms and still be ready for
more, without taking a nap first.
8. Go to a gynecologist for a pelvic exam and
ask to have it recorded on video.
9. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breast.
10. Finally find that damned G-spot!!!
_________
Little David was in his 5th grade class when the
teacher asked the children what their fathers did
for a living. All the typical answers came up --
fireman, policeman, salesman, etc. David was being
uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher
asked him about his father.'My father's an exotic
dancer in a gay bar and takes off all his clothes
in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer is
really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy
and make love with him for money.'The teacher,
obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set
the other children to work on some coloring, and
took little David Aside to ask him, 'Is that really
true about your father?''No,' said David, 'He plays
for the Detroit Tigers but I was too
embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids.'
_____________
An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered
a cup of coffee.As he sat sipping his coffee, a young
woman sat down next to him.She turned to the cowboy
and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'He replied, 'Well,
I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows,
going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing
hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing
flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs,
so I guess I am a cowboy.'She said, 'I'm a lesbian.
I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as
I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I
shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think
about women. I even think about women when I eat.
It seems that everything makes me think of women.'
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side
of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'
He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found
out that I'm a lesbian.'
_______________
Ed and Dorothy met while on a singles cruise and Ed
fell head over heels for her. When they discovered
they lived in the same city only a few miles apart, Ed
was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out
when they got home. Within a couple of weeks, Ed had
taken Dorothy to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts,
movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Dorothy
was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date
seemed better than the last. On the one-month anniversary
of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took
Dorothy to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails
and waiting for their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can
tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little
serious talk before our relationship continues to the
next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and
ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn
you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about
golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep,
and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem,
for us, you'd better say so now!"Dorothy took a deep
breath and responded, "Ed, that certainly won't be a
problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too;
but, since we're being totally honest with each other,
you need to know that for about the last five years
I've been a hooker.""I see," Ed replied thoughtfully.
He looked down at the table, and was quiet for a moment,
deep in serious thought then he added, "You know,
it's probably because you're not keeping your wrists
straight when you hit the ball."
____________
A young man named Murphy applied for an engineering
position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American
applied for the same job and both applicants, having
the same qualifications, were asked to take a test
by the department manager.Upon completion of the test
both men had only missed one of the questions. The
manager went to Murphy and said, "Thank you for your
interest, but we've decided to give the American the job."
"And why would you be doing that? asked Murphy. "We
both got 9 questions correct. This being Ireland and
me being Irish I should get the job!""We have made our
decision not on the correct answers, but on the question
you missed.""And just how would one incorrect answer be
better than the other?""Simple," replied the manager.
"On question # 5, the American put down, 'I don't know.'
You put down 'Neither do I.'"
_______
FUN PAGES
Midnight Mysteries: The Edgar Allan Poe Conspiracy
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41754&s=n
Varmint Hunting Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41507&s=n
Eeny Meany Bikini Whoa
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=40948&s=n
Crazy Tyre
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38554&s=n
________________
BUFFALO BILL
6664
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dfertt.htm
AA.WMVPV
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dfrrtrrr.htm
Achmed Jingle Bombs
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdeeree.htm
____________
SydesJokes Video Clips
Lamborghini
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000879.html
Lamborghini Compacto
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000880.html
Landing In Fog
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000881.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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