THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a
matter of choice; it is not a thing to be
waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.
William Jennings Bryant
______________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
It has definitely been a long weekend.
The postman clan is doing internet withdrawls
Hopefully, Comcast will get around to fixing
things this Monday morning. knock on wood. My
two adult children who live with me are pitching
temper tantrums, as if there is something we can
do that is going to solve the intermittent service.
The weather has not been cooperating either. It
has been pretty damp and drizzly too. And I am
getting tired of taking the laptop down to
the nearest Internet cafe to mail out the
POSTMAN'S CORNER. Hopefully things
will change and we will get better soon.
We definitely need some jokes to brighten the
mood!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_________
THE COMICS
birth control
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v001.html
no sports
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v002.html
do you promise
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v003.html
frustration
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v004.html
drinking to forget
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v005.html
buffet
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v006.html
wheel chair accessable
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v007.html
offering
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v008.html
no no my love
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v009.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
old trick
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9424.html
Cheers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9425.html
ah that feels good
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9426.html
bad elastic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9427.html
candid camera trick at the ice rink
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9428.html
______________
It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget
I'd do it again
Without a single regret.
The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were all alone
Just she and I.
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine.
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came.
At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time ever
At milking a cow...
_____________
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his
employees about an urgent problem with one of the main
computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number
and was greeted with a child's whisper, "Hello?"
Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to
talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?" the man asked.
To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered,
"No."Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked,
"Is your Mummy there?""Yes," came the answer.
"May I talk with her?"Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be
left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a
message with the person who should be t! here watching over
the child."Is there any one there besides you?" the boss
asked the child."Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home,
the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child."Busy doing what?"
asked the boss."Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman,"
came the whispered answer.Growing concerned and even worried
as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear
piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello copper," answered the whispering voice. "What is
going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search
team just landed the hello copper."Alarmed, concerned, and
more than just a little frustrated the boss asked,
"What are they searching for?"Still whispering, the y!
oung voice replied along with a muffled giggle, "Me."
_____________
It happened at a summer resort, as do many things. The young
executive was sitting at the bar, quietly drinking himself
into a stupor, when an attractive redhead sat down beside
him and ordered Scotch and water. They got into a harmless
conversation, and as the evening wore on they became
progressively more friendly. After the umpteenth round,
he leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Let's get a bottle
and go up to my room." She focused her glassy stare on him.
"I'll have you know I'm a lady," she slurred.
"I realize that. If I wanted a man, I'd send home for my brother!"
____________
I was traveling between Phoenix and Ajo the other day south of
Gila Bend when a tire blew out. Checking my spare, I found that
it too was flat. My only option was to flag down a passing
motorist and get a ride to the next town.
The first vehicle to stop was an old man in a van. He yelled out
the window, "Need a lift?"
"Yes, I sure do," I replied.
"You a Republican or Democrat," asked the old man.
"Democrat," I replied.
"Well, you can just go to Hell," yelled the old man as he sped
off.
Another guy stopped, rolled down the window, and asked me the
same question. Again, I gave the same answer, "Democrat." The
driver gave me the finger and drove off.
I thought it over and decided that maybe I should change my
strategy, since this area seemed to be overly political and there
appeared to be few Democrats.
The next car to stop was a red convertible driven by a beautiful
blonde. She smiled seductively and asked if I was a Republican or
Democrat.
"Republican!", I shouted.
"Hop in!", replied the blonde.
Driving down the road, I couldn't help but stare at the gorgeous
woman in the seat next to me, the wind blowing through her hair,
perfect breasts, and a short skirt that continued to ride higher
and higher up her thighs.
Finally, I yelled, "Please stop the car." She immediately slammed
on the brakes and as soon as the car stopped, I jumped out.
"What's the matter?", she asked.
"I can't take it anymore," I replied. "I've only been a
Republican for five minutes and already I want to screw
somebody."
_______________
On Coast Guard cutters, low-ranking crew members take turns in
the galley helping the cooks. One young seaman aboard was always
dropping dishes and spilling food.
One day, alone in the galley, he noticed an unfrosted yellow
sheet-cake cooling on a counter. Determined to rectify past errors,
the seaman made chocolate icing and carefully decorated the cake
with it. The seaman stood proudly by the dessert as the head cook
returned to the galley.
Frantically, the cook began to look around. "Where did my cornbread
go?" he shouted.
____________
FUN PAGES
Moon Patrol Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41544&s=n
Funny Dilemma
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=40873&s=n
Table Soccer Skills
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38555&s=n
Tri Towers Solitaire
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41804&s=n
______________
BUFFALO BILL
Crazy White Man
http://www.buffaloschips.com/okoil.htm
Crime Scene Technology
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kggj.htm
Cubs Game
http://www.buffaloschips.com/khgfcf.htm
_____________
SydesJokes Video Clips
Ladder Race
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000876.html
Lake Delton Flooding
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000877.html
Lake Peigneur - Salt Mine Flood
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000878.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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