Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
The sun is shining, it is in the fifties and the Tigers fought their
way back from a 7-1 deficit to sweep Cleveland this afternoon. It
don't get any better than that heh heh. My back is feeling much
better and once I am up and around for a bit it isn't even
noticeable. I even tore into Sandy's vacuum and put a new belt on it
which lasted about two minutes. she decided to try it out on the
kitchen tile and picked up a bag tie which jammed the
beater and burnt the belt off. she finally brought it back with a
burnt rubber smell coming out of it so now it's down till I make
a hardware store run.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~
You're invited!
Join the world's leading by invitation-only travel site today
* Save up to 60% off on oustanding travel deals
* Get members-only access to exclusive sales
* Register for free with no obligation
* Earn travel credits by recommending your friends
Whether its a romantic getaway to a French castle, a luxurious
escape
to the island of Malta, or a private catamaran cruise of the
Caribbean,
Voyage Prive offers to its members quality and unique travel offers
at
unbeatable prices....
Don't miss today's sales!
Join now for free membership!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hankie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Captain rounded all his men to check on their intellectual
faculties.
Taking a small handkerchief from his pocket he says. "Smith, when I
wave my handkerchief what does it make you think about??" "Oh!! Sir
it makes me think of the train station. Well Smith ... why does it
make you think of the train station.
Because Sir ... on Sundays in the afternoon we often would go down
to the train station, and when the train left the station people
would wave their handkerchiefs like you do Sir.
Very good Smith. Let's see you, Thomas, when I wave my handkerchief
what does it make you think about??
Oh well Sir... It makes me think about the port. Why does it make
you think about the port??.
Sir, because when I go to the port the passengers on the outgoing
ships wave at their relatives and friends that way.
That's very good Thomas, let's see you Gibson, when I wave my
handkerchief what does it make you think about??.
Sir. It makes me think about fucking! Oh, I see, well why does it
make you think about fucking??
Because Sir, the only thing I think about is fucking.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
kinky sex
http://www.thepostm
live nude girls
http://www.thepostm
beer
http://www.thepostm
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jack and Jill were watching a TV show one night where the wife hired
a private detective to follow her husband to see if he was
"cheating"
on her.
Jack asked, "Would you ever do that?"
Jill said, "Well not so much to find out who the other woman was,
but to see if I could find out what she saw in you."
Mike is sitting at the bar looking totally down in the dumps. The
bartender asks, "What's wrong Mike?"
Mike replies, "My wife is too tired for housework and sex but she
won't let me hire a maid or a hooker".
A woman's husband always lets her know when he's not getting enough.
The other night when their boys were being particularly
rambunctious, and groping each other, she yelled at them "In this
house, we don't touch each other's privates."
To which her husband replied, "No kidding."
The Federal Witness Protection Program has come up with a sure-fire
method for making absolutely certain that people entering the
program are NEVER found by anyone.
They just change the witness's name to G. Spot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Find Sexy, Intelligent Singles near you today with DateMatch. The
hottest online dating site!
-FREE to email featured members
-FREE to receive and read emails from members
-FREE to reply to emails from members
-FREE to create your own personality profile
Search for Sexy Singles in your area now!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Paddy visited his parents the day after his wedding. His father
took him aside and asked, "How did it go last night, son?"
Paddy winked and elbowed his dad. "Gee, great. You know, the way
she was acting, I think I could have screwed her."
Politicians talk to the country the way men talk to women. They
say, "Trust me; go all the way with me, and everything will be all
right."
And what happens? Nine months later, you're in trouble.
Q. Why was two-piece bikini invented?
A. To separate meat section from the dairy section.
In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to
some questions the teacher was asking.
"Next question," announced the instructor. "How would you like to
be seen by the opposite sex?"
I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next to me
turned and asked, "How do you spell 'intellectual'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Turbo Snake
Simply glide Turbo Snake down the drain, twirl, then pull out Turbo
SnakeT specially designed head grabs & locks onto hair clogs to
remove and free the drain instantly! What's best, its flexible
design easily maneuvers down the drain to seek out clogs without
having to remove the drain stopper. For bathroom sinks, showers &
tubs. Each set includes the Large Turbo Snake for Showers and Tubs,
Small Turbo Snake for Sinks, and Peel and Stick Storage Hook. Now
only $10.00 plus S&H or double the offer for an extra P&H.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Screw Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once upon a time, a young lad was born without a belly button. In
its place was a silver screw. All the doctors told his mother that
there was nothing they could do.
Like it or not, he was stuck with it . . . He was screwed..
All the years of growing up were real tough on him, as all who saw
the screw made fun of him. He avoided leaving his house . . .
And thus, never made any friends.
One day, a mysterious stranger saw his belly and told him of a swami
in Tibet who could get rid of the screw for him. He was thrilled.
The next day, he took all of his life's savings and bought a ticket
to Nepal . After several days of climbing up steep cliffs, he came
upon a giant monastery. The swami knew exactly why he had come.
The screwy guy was told to sleep in the highest tower of the
monastery and the following day when he awoke, the screw would have
been removed. The man immediately went to the room and fell asleep.
During the night while he slept, a purple fog floated in an open
window.
In the mist floated a solid silver screwdriver. In just moments,
the screwdriver removed the screw and disappeared out the window.
The next morning when the man awoke, he saw the silver screw laying
on the pillow next to him.. Reaching down, he felt his navel, and
there was no screw there! Jubilant, he leaped out of bed . . . .
And his butt fell off.
The moral to this is:
'Don't screw around with things you don't understand -- You could
lose your ass.' Congress is noted for screwing around with things
they don't understand - like the economy. That's why we are all
losing our asses!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Kangaroo Keeper
Instantly organize any bag with the Kangaroo Keeper. Coming in
different sizes and colors, coordinate it with any style. Be able
to access up to 70 items in seconds with various compartments. Never
call your bag a bottomless pit again. Get organized with the
Kangaroo Keeper. Purchase one Kangaroo Keeper and receive another
for just the cost of shipping and handling
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Garage Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A curious little boy asks his mom what his younger sister has
between
the legs; the young mother does not know how to explain to the boy,
so
she says: "It's like the Garage..."
The boy then asks: "What is mine called?"
"It's called the Car..." the mother replies.
A few days later, the phone rings while the parents are "busy" in
the
bedroom; the little boy answers it. It's his dad's friend: "Is your
father home? Could I speak to him?"
"Yes, but he's busy", the boy replies. "What's he doing? I wanna
talk to
him..." "Wait, let me check..." The boy looks through the bedroom
keyhole; then comes back and says: "He's putting the Car in the
Garage
"Ok, I'll call back..." A short while later, the man calls back:
"Can I
talk to your dad now?" "He's still busy..."
"What? What's he doing? How long does it take him to put the car in
the
garage anyway?"
"Wait, let me check..." The boy, again, looks through the bedroom
keyhole, comes back and has this to tell his dad's friend: "He's
still
trying to put the Car in the Garage; he keeps moving the Car back
and
forth. He seems to have problem putting the rear wheels of the Car
into
the Garage..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Space Bag To Go - Pack 2x more anywhere you go.
Space Bag To Go is perfect for planes, hiking, camping, watersports,
and vacation. Compress, protect, and organize to avoid paying extra
baggage fees. Now you will be able to keep your things airtight and
water proof only to reuse again.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva w/The color of Love
http://silverandgol
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
http://ministry-
Marlene/Sweet Hour Of Prayer/New Gospel Music Page
http://summerhoosie
From Russia With Love
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
'DESIGNING WOMEN' STAR DIXIE CARTER DIES AT 70
http://deathbeeper.
"Doomsday Seed Vault" in the Arctic Via Dianne
http://www.globalre
Keukenhof Gardens!
http://www.shangral
Awesome Bikes!
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Background Sets Via Sally
http://cjtmw.
Commodore Computer
http://www.commodor
Block a Country, Block by IP Address, deny access by Country
http://www.blockaco
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone Via Dianne
http://www.dogster.
Kitty Korner
Giant Catfish
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.
You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Crazy White Man
http://www.buffalos
Crime Scene Technology
http://www.buffalos
Cubs Game
http://www.buffalos
Cucumber Sandwich
http://www.buffalos
Dancing With A Man
http://www.buffalos
Dog In Pool
http://www.buffalos
Dogs
http://www.buffalos
Don't Smoke here
http://www.buffalos
Drill Team For Retired Guys
http://www.buffalos
Earthquake
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Duck Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in South Louisiana. He shot and
dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side
of a
fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove
up
onhis tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator
responded,
"I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going into
retrieve it."
The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and you are not coming
over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in
the
U.S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take
everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we
do
things in Louisiana. We rule ourselves under the Napoleonic Code. We
settle small disagreements like this with the Louisiana Three Kick
Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the Louisiana Three Kick Rule?" The
Farmer
replied. "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me
three
times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided
that
he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local
custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and
walked
up to the city feller.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the
lawyer's
groin and dropped him to his knees where he immediately vomited.
The geezer's second kick nearly ripped the man's nose off his face.
The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to
a
kidney nearly caused him to give up.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his dark heart, vengeful will and
managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot now it's my
turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the
duck."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
coin
http://www.buffalos
col sanders
http://www.buffalos
cold
http://www.buffalos
cold as
http://www.buffalos
cold as ice
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Bark Off ultrasonic training aid stops your dog's annoying
barking anytime, anywhere! It naturally and painlessly interrupts
the barking pattern to instantly capture the dog's attention.
Features:
-Inaudible to Human Ears
-Calms Your Dog
-No Wires or Cords
-Works Indoors or Outdoors
Buy 1 Get 1 Free Now for only $10.00 + s/h!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Relation Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?
Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??
Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the
living
room. ! 6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.
Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.
Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!
Apology:
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against
you. 6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again. 6 years : What's not
to
understand about what I just said??
New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?
Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound?? 6
months : What's so bad about going to Istanbul on a charter plane? 6
years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home???
TV:
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to
bed, I can stay up by myself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rainbow Peppers - Grow 5 Different Colored Peppers on 1 Plant
You can enjoy Rainbow Peppers at any stage and experience all the
incredible sweet tastes of all the individual flavors. Make colorful
and flavorful meals with black, violet, yellow, orange and red
peppers.
Why pay supermarket prices when you can grow delicious peppers on
your own. Each plant can produce up to 30 peppers.
Buy 3 Rainbow Pepper plants and get 3 Big Bertha plants on us.
Learn More
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man walked into the clubhouse and noticed a friend sitting in a
corner wearing a neck brace.
He sat down and asked his mate what happened.
"Well, I was playing golf and I hit my ball into the rough," replied
his friend. "Then I met a lady who was looking for her ball too.
Finding mine, I thought I'd give her a hand. There was a cow nearby
and I noticed that every time the cow twitched its tail there was a
flash of white. So I went over to it and lifted its tail and sure
enough there was the ball.
I called out to the lady, 'Ma'am, does this look like yours?' And
the bitch hit me in the neck with her driver!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buy One Get One Free
This is a limited time offer!!!
$460 value for only $39.95
Years of culinary experience and research went into designing this
special series. We are so sure that our knives will make your time
in the kitchen easier, faster and more enjoyable that it comes with
a 30 Day Money Back Guarantee. Made to the highest standards of
German stainless steel, the Miracle Blade III Perfection Series are
the last knives you will ever need!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1569
Camping Out -- Continued
Friday is here and BJ is setting up his pup tent.
Rudy: Seems kind of small Pops.
BJ: It will do. When we snuggle up it will keep us all warm.
Sandi: Did you bring the food?
BJ: Yes, I have it in my packpack. Once I finish the tent and
sleeping bag, I will fill your bowls.
Katie: How crude. I brought a tent, may I set it up next to yours
father?
BJ: Of course.
Rudy: No TV huh?
BJ: No.
Rudy: No Beer?
BJ: No.
Rudy: So what do we do for fun?
BJ: We talk.
Sandi: It will be fun Rudy.
Katie takes out her tent and presses a button and BOING! A huge
mammoth tent unfolds..the size of a three bedroom house.
Rudy: Now that's what I am talking about.
To be continued
The Herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment