Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
April Birthdays Do you have a birthday this month? Let's see what
kind of famous company you are in with:
April
1. Ali McGraw, Toshio Mifume, Jennifer Beyer
2. Dana Carvey, Hans Christen Anderson, Ivan Breaux
3. Marlon Brando, Jennie Garth, Sylvia Bringman
4. Arthur Hailey, Anthony Perkins, Arthur Murray
5. Spencer Tracy, Bette Davis
6. Butch Cassidy, Marilu Henner, Howard Zang
7. Tony Dorsett, Francis Ford Coppola
8. Jim Catfish Hunter, Julian Lennon, Sonja Jenie
9. Hugh Hefner, Dennis Quaid, Paulina Porizkova
10. John Madden, Steven Seagal, Chuck Connors
11. Louise Lasser, Oleg Cassini
12. David Letterman, Shannon Doherty, Helen Mulloy
13. Thomas Jefferson, Al Green
14. Sarah Michelle Gellar, Pete Rose, John Gielgud
15. Greg Maddux, Leonardo de Vinci
16. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Charlie Chaplin
17. Nikita Khrushchev, William Holden
18. Conan O'Brien, Clarence Darrow
19. Picaso, Don Adams
20. Ryan O'Neal, Hitler, buffalo
21. Andie MacDowell, Tony Danza, Tom Bingaman
22. Jack Nicholson, Eddie Albert, Uncle George
23. William Shakespeare, Shirley Temple, Valerie Bertinelli
24. Barbra Streisand, Shirley MacLaine, Jill Ireland
25. Al Pacino, Talia Shire, Ella Fitzgerald
26. Carol Burnett, Barbara Epstein
27. Sheena Easton, Casey Kasem, Vicki Valle, Ross Bowen
28. Jay Leno, Saddam Hussein
29. Jerry Seinfeld, Andre Agassi, JoAnn King
30. Isiah Thomas, Willie Nelson
Hi Everyone
You're probably thinking that I have been posting a little later
lately.
Ok the time change didn't help matters much because when it started
to get dark I knew I was late and picked up the pace.
Then I have a four year old munchkin that takes over the computer
every time I go to the bathroom and surfs to barbie.com or
games2girls.
the bad guy and drag her screaming and kicking from the computer.
Lastly I am helping out on several yard sale lists and Nancy's Nerdy
Buffalo list. So unless I suddenly become a morning person again
I guess I will be posting around dinner time.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Penis Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Top 10 Home Penis-Enlargement Techniques
10. Really grippy pliers.
9. A couple dozen layers of duct tape, a coating of Bondo, and some
tan spray paint.
8. Insert bicycle tire pump to the business end and inflate to 35
psi.
7. Just pull on it a couple hundred times each day while staring at
your computer monitor. Hasn't worked yet, but I'm sticking with it
anyway.
6. Inject a solution of warm water and active dry yeast, and keep in
a warm location.
5. Finally put that taffy-pulling machine to good use.
4. Place penis on flat surface, apply hammer until member has
swollen to desired size.
3. Break off your relationship with Lorena Bobbitt.
2. Tie a string around it, then tie the other end to your dog's
leash before taking him for his walk.
1. Daily workouts with your "Wienercize!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
complaints
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caution
http://www.thepostm
dive
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Lady Rector of a Ladies hostel was fond of using English language
though she was not good in English. She was also fond of using very
small sentences to communicate. Always in hurry she used to create
lots if funny situations. Once the electricity of her ladies hostel
went off at midnight that too during the examination season. She
immediately contacted electricity board's complaints office over
phone and placed instant demand saying. " Lights gone in our ladies
hostel. Send Men immediately. Girls using candles."
The blonde student went to the library and checked out a book called
"How to Hump".
She got back to her dorm and found out it was volume seven of the
encyclopedia.
A yuppie business woman in town for an important meeting, checked
into her room at the swank hotel and unpacked her bags. Noticing
that her favorite suit had been badly wrinkled during the flight,
she phoned the front desk and asked to have the hotel's valet
service pick up the suit for pressing. Almost immediately after she
hung up the phone, a knock sounded at the door and there stood an
elderly Chinaman. Impressed by the speedy service, the career woman
exclaimed, "My, you come lickety-split!
Chinaman, "I come get laundry."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rainbow Peppers - Grow 5 Different Colored Peppers on 1 Plant
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tit Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Big Tits vs. Little Tits
Women with Big Tits...
..can get a taxi on the worst days
..have men give them the best seats on a bus.
..have a neat place to carry spare change
..have always been the center of the arts (art)
..make jogging a spectator sport
..can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub
..have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them)
..usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie
..can always carry a little extra cash
..always float better
..know where to look first for lost earrings
..rarely lack for a slow dance partner
..have a place to set their glasses when sitting in an armless
recliner
..never have to buy a car with airbags
..have a place to carry a extra beer
Women with Little Tits...
..don't cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public
..always look younger
..find that dribbled food makes it to the napkin on their lap
..can always see their toes and shoes
..can sleep on their stomachs
..have no trouble sliding behind the wheel of small cars
..know that people can read the entire message on their T-shirts
..know that everything more than a handful is wasted
..can come late to a theater and not disrupt an entire aisle
..can take aerobic class without running the risk of knocking
themselves out
..never be accused of having implants.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Car Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
HARRY REID BUYS A CAR
Sen. Reid goes to a local GM dealer in Washington, D.C. with the
intention of buying a brand new vehicle. Harry looks around and
finds
one he likes. After going back and forth with the salesman, Harry
settles on a price of $45,000.
Harry and the salesman go back to the office to complete the
paperwork. Harry works out a 4-year payment plan, and signs on the
bottom line. The salesman shakes Harry's hand and says, "Thanks
Senator Reid, the car will be ready for pickup in 4 years."
Harry says, "What are you talking about? Where are the keys to my
new car?"
The salesman replies, "No, you don't understand Senator. You make
payments for 4 years... THEN we give you the car. You know, just
like
your health plan".
Harry, with a choking voice, says to the salesman, "But that's not
fair".
And I say without any doubt or embarrassment:
NO S__T!
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Skunk Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the
wife asks her husband to stop the car.
There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got
out to see if it was still alive. It was, and she said to her
husband, 'It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get
it warm, and let it go in the morning?'
He says, 'O. K., Get in the car with it.'
'Where shall I put it to get it warm?'
He says, 'Put it in between your legs. It's nice and warm there.
'But what about the smell?'
'Just hold its little nose.'
The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him
with died at the scene...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Court Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Her Day In Court"
DEFENSE ATTORNEY: What is your age?
LITTLE OLD WOMAN: I am 86 years old.
DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Will you tell us, in your
own words, what happened to you on April 1st
this year?
LITTLE OLD WOMAN: There I was, sitting there
in my swing on my porch on a warm Spring
evening, when a young man comes creeping up
on the porch and sat down beside me.
DEFENSE ATTORNEY: What happened after he
sat down?
LITTLE OLD WOMAN: He started to rub my thighs.
DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Did you stop him?
LITTLE OLD WOMAN: No, I didn't stop him.
DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Why not?
LITTLE OLD WOMAN: It felt good. Nobody had
done that since my Abner passed away some
30 years ago.
DEFENSE ATTORNEY: What happened next?
LITTLE OLD WOMAN: He began to rub my breasts.
DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Did you stop him then?
LITTLE OLD WOMAN: No, I did not stop him.
DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Why not?
LITTLE OLD WOMAN: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing
made me feel all alive and excited, I haven't felt
that good in years!
DEFENSE ATTORNEY: What happened next?
LITTLE OLD WOMAN: Well, I was feeling spicy that
I just laid down and said to him, "Take me, young
man, take me!"
DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Did he take you?
LITTLE OLD WOMAN: Hell, no. He just yelled, "April
Fool!" And that's when I shot the bastard!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Jesus is the Light
http://silverandgol
That Impossible Mile
http://summerhoosie
Rest In Peace
http://www.poetryby
Jesus Christ Our Passover
http://www.absolute
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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Surfin Surfari
JOHN FORSYTHE OF FILM AND TV FAME DIES AT 92
http://deathbeeper.
Bank Reviews Via Wesley
http://www.mybanktr
Card Toss Game
http://www.cardtoss
Small Thoughts
http://www.Shangral
USS New York LPD-21 Tribute
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Unlock the hidden power behind Microsoft's WordPad
http://www.jarte.
Online Video Monitoring System
http://www.ugolog.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.frenchbu
Kitty Korner
http://www.messybea
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
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You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
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other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
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Here is some more information about this new way to watch
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Movie Links
Speed Bump
http://www.buffalos
Terrorist Attack
http://www.buffalos
That Look
http://www.buffalos
The Original Farmer's Daughter
http://www.buffalos
The Big ABC
http://www.buffalos
Domaci Mazlicek
http://www.buffalos
Drum Girls
http://www.buffalos
Escape Rescue
http://www.buffalos
Ever See A Snake Yawn
http://www.buffalos
Faryl Smith Britain's Got Talent
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The divorce court was attentive as the wife complained to the Judge
that her husband had left her bed and board. When she had finished,
the husband's lawyer rose to his feet and coolly replied,
"Your Honor, I have a slight correction in the typing of the
charging documents. My client claims that he left her bed 'bored'."
"Honey..."the wife said. "I think I'm going to the doctor to see if
he can find out why I'm so dull and listless."
"Great idea!" the husband replied. "And once he gets your sex drive
all straightened out, see if he can figure out why you've been
moping around lately."
A young lady visited a computer dating service and made her request.
She asked, "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find
a suitable one?"
The matchmaker said, "What exactly are you looking for?"
"Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite, humorous,
sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing to
accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour if I don't
go out. Be able to tell me interesting stories when I need a
companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest."
The matchmaker entered the information into the computer and, in a
matter of moments, handed the results to the woman. Buy a TV set!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
blowing
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blowjob
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blow job beg
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blowjob dog
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blowjob means
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blue balls
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A gentle old lady I knew
Was dozing one day in her pew;
When the preacher yelled "Sin!"
She said,"Count me in!
As soon as the service is through!"
There once was a lady named Lynn
Who was so uncommonly thin,
That when she assayed
To drink lemonade,
She slipped through the straw and fell in!
There was a young maiden, a Sioux,
As tempting as fresh honeydoux.
She displayed her cute knees
As she strolled past tepees,
And the braves, they all hollered "Wioux-Wioux!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
After WW II, there was a crush of immigration from Europe to the
USA.
One Italian, Luigi, obtained passage on a steamer after months of
waiting, and his entire village went down to the pier to see him
off,
telling him how lucky he was, going to live in the land of
opportunity.
In six months, Luigi was back, disgusted and disappointed. His
friends all told him, "Luigi, you crazy, why you come back?"
"Bah, America nothin' but SEX, SEX, and MORE sex!, Luigi
griped......
inna the movies, onna the billboards, all you see is SEX. It'sa
disgusting! Why, even the ship, it sail into New York, the band on
the dock is'a playin', an' whadda you 'tink they play?"
"Yanka-my-Doodle, She's a Dandy!!!!!".
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Knowing that my fiancé's mother is an avid bird-watcher, I planned
an intimate get-to-know-
Canyon in Colorado. I'd heard a rumor that nude sunbathers sometimes
frequented the place, but having been there twice and never seen
one, I tagged the location as safe. Fifteen minutes into our picnic,
our idyllic spot was overrun with nude men. Aghast, we ate quickly,
and then I ushered my future mother-in-law toward the exit. On our
way out, I spotted a native bird in a tree and said, "Look, Mom,
it's a Colorado downy woodpecker."
She replied, "Well, we've seen a lot of native Colorado peckers
today, haven't we?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1560
More Memories - Katie
Diana and BJ are taking Katie with them on a trip. Katie always
comes when called. They are in Eureka Springs and it is early am.
BJ: I will let Katie out so she can go to the bathroom then we
can be on our way. It should not take her but a few minutes.
Diana: Okay, I will pack our stuff and put it in the car.
Katie: I shall be but a few minutes father.
Zoom!
BJ goes outside to watch Katie. She runs down the hill and up
another
hill, goes to the bathroom.
BJ: Come on Katie....Katie.
Katie continues to run and run and run up and down the hills.
Diana: The car is packed and I am ready for breakfast.
BJ: We have a problem..
The Care and Feeding of Humans by Katie Kassity
Would you allow your young children to play in the streets? Of
course
not. I have to teach my parents a lesson. Oh it is so hard to
train
these bi-peds, they are so stubborn. I do not want to run so, but
alas.... By staying away and running, I am merely teaching them I
should be on a leash as required by law. Oh the shame...
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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