Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Sitting here trying to figure out what to watch on TV tonight.
The Red Wings and the Tigers are playing tonight in the same
time slot as NCIS and Deadliest Catch and running into
Chopped on the Food Network. Fox Sports has two channels
so they can handle the April games which sometimes has
all three teams playing and Eva has been singing their " April
in the D " song.
It is kind of strange to see the Red Wings competing against
the Coyotes. Temperatures of 110 degrees isn't exactly
the setting for an ice rink. Up here today the temperature
was only 44 and I don't imagine Detroit was a lot warmer.
After going back to bed twice this morning because I was
shivering I turned the heat back up.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
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Fairy Tale Chips
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Top 15 Rejected Lines From Fairy Tales Once upon a time, there was a
handsome prince from the magical land of Nantucket who had a trusty
broadsword so large that...
And then the Frog said to Princess Elspeth, "What, no tongue?"
So party of the first part and the party of the second part lived
happily -- and legally -- ever after.
The wicked surrogate mother convinced the biological parents to
leave the frozen embryos in the forest, where she planned to conduct
stem-
cell research on them.
Cinderella then demanded, "Dude, where's my coach?"
In the lawsuit, Goldilocks accused the three bears of negligence,
claiming that their having left the scalding-hot porridge where it
could easily be stolen led directly to her third-degree tongue
burns.
"Yes, Your Highness, it's a very nice slipper -- but do you have
something with a higher heel?"
"Not by the hair of my crotchety-crotch-
Sleeping Beauty awoke from her 100-year-slumber, sat up and told the
prince, "Dude, that NyQuil sh*t is AWESOME."
...and that night, after the princess told him she was going to have
his child, the prince put out to sea, vowing never to return.
And after the prince did slay the mighty dragon, knights from the
far-
away land called PETA did hound him the rest of his days.
"Hey, Mr. Building Inspector," shouted the little pig, "if you got
a problem with my straw architecture, you can just blow me."
Then Mama Bear said, "SOMEBODY has been using my... umm... magical
vibrating wand -- and the batteries are all dead!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
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The backwards hillbilly girl walked into the drugstore to buy
tampons for the first time, after looking at shelf upon shelf of
feminine hygiene products she timidly approached the pharmacist with
her dilemma, I'm confused by all these different brands an sizes,
she confessed, I don't know which ones to buy.`I see, said the
pharmacist, tell me, what's your flow like? puzzled the girl
replied,' it's linoleum, why?
~~
Jill, ever the gracious hostess, was serving drinks at one of her
parties over the Holidays. A friend of hers brought his brother who
had just been ordained a Priest. She offered the friend a drink
from the tray and said, "I'm sorry Father, I'll go right back to the
kitchen and bring you a coke."
The Priest smiled and said "No need to. I may have alcohol.
Priests abstain from sex, not the grape."
"Oh !" said Jill blushing, "So that's it. I knew it was one or the
other that I wasn't supposed to offer you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
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The 70-year-old man sat down in the orthopedic surgeon's office.
"You know, Doc," he said, "I've made love in more exotic cars than
anyone I know. Must be at least a thousand."
"And now, I suppose, you want me to treat you for the arthritis you
got from scrunching up in all those uncomfortable positions," the
medic said.
"Hell, no," the old fellow replied. "I want to borrow your
Lamborghini!
Doug brought Tammy back to his apartment, took off his clothes, and
said, "I'd like you to meet my little friend."
Tammy took a look, gathered up her clothes, then said, "Call me when
it grows up."
"I think we should go Dutch," the nurse said to the doctor in the
dimly lit restaurant. "You pay for dinner and the movie, and the
rest of your night can be on me."
~~~~
Little Johnny lived on a farm and watched the calves feeding from
their mothers each morning with great interest. He was only able to
see his girlfriend once every 2 weeks, so one day he got a good
idea.
Early one morning he took off to the barn, slipped his manhood out,
and put it in front of one of the calves. The calf thought it was
its mother, and took to sucking right away. As he was enjoying
himself he noticed some hay fall down from the loft. Glancing up he
saw his father looking down at him with a real mean look on his
face.
Thinking very quickly, Little Johnny looked at his father and
screamed, "Are you gonna help me or are you just gonna stand there
and let him eat me alive!?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
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Crazy Charlie, the used-car dealer, was out to break all sales
records with his "like new" models. A large sign in his window
announced: "A Blonde Free With Each Car."
A delighted young wolf plunked down his cash and, hot with
anticipation, drove his newly won blonde out into the country. He
parked, gave her a couple of preliminary kisses, and whispered a
suggestion in her ear.
She shook her head, smiled, and said, "You got that when you bought
this car."
~~~
For all of you small men out there don't worry...there are three
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2. It disappoints greedy women
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Vagina Chips
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A man was getting ready for work one morning when his wife looked at
him
and said, "What is the matter with you? You look terrible." He
replied
that he felt great. The man went to work where his boss took one
look at
him and said, "What is the matter with you? You look terrible." The
man
replied that there was nothing wrong with him and that he felt
great.
The man went to lunch with a client and the client looked at him and
said, "What is the matter with you? You look terrible." The man
again
replied that he felt great. The client suggested he go to the doctor
right away because he looked so bad. The man went to the doctor, and
when the doctor walked into the examining room and saw him the
doctor
said, "My god, you look terrible." The man explained that everyone
was
telling him that he looked terrible but that he felt great. The
doctor
said, "Are you sure you feel great?" The man reiterated that he
definitely felt great! The doctor got out his medical book and
looked up
"looks terrible". After he found that he looked up the subsection
"feels
great". The doctor said, "I found it right here under 'looks
terrible,
feels great'. The man, at this point very nervous, inquired to the
doctor, "Tell me, what is it?" The doctor replied, "According to my
book... you're a vagina!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Unconditional Love
http://silverandgol
One Of Those Days
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Carol w/Sisters
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John w/ Shangri-La
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Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
israel lifts ipad ban Via Wesley
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High Tech Toys
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Links
Voting Ad
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Argument Settled
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Been Married To long
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Beer Diet
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Charade Chips
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The world's greatest charade player brags that he can guess any
charade.
A TV producer decides to use the charade player in a TV special.
He issues a challenge offering the charade player a million dollars
to guess a very hard charade on television.
The charade player agrees.
Comes the big night, all the world is watching. The charade player
is sitting on stage in front of a curtain. Music blares and the
curtain opens to reveal seven nude young women.
The second and fourth ladies are holding their breasts, while the
other five have their backs to him and are baring their behinds.
The charade player barely glances over them and says, "The William
Tell Overture by Rossini."
The flabbergasted producer says in awe, "You've done it! That's the
correct answer. You are indeed the greatest charade player!" and he
hands him a check for a million bucks.
Walking out, a reporter stops the charade player and ask him how he
did it.
" It's really simple," says the charade player. "One look at the
positions of the seven women, and I realized it as the William Tell
Overture."
"Rump... titty... rump... titty... rump... rump... rump."
Stan Kegel
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Toon Chips
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Just Once
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IRS
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It Fits
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Crane
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Marriage Penalty
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Coffee Break
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Limerick Chips
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There once was a couple named Kelley,
Who lived their life belly to belly.
Because in their haste
They used Library Paste,
Instead of Petroleum Jelly.
____________
There once was a dentist named Stone
Who saw all his patients alone.
In a fit of depravity
He filled the wrong cavity,
And my, how his practice has grown!
____________
There was a young fellow named Gluck
Who found himself shit out of luck.
Though he petted and wooed,
When he tried to get screwed
He found virgins just don't give a fuck.
<Snagged by>
Ross
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Parting Chips
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One day, Little Johnny's teacher, Miss Figpot asked the class if
they
could name some things you can suck!"
"Ice cream, ma'am!" Little Mary answered.
"Good, Jane." Miss Figpot said, "Anyone else?". "How about a
lollipop!"
said Steven.
"Very good, now it's your turn Johnny!", the teacher said. Little
Johnny, sitting at back then answered, "A lamp!".
The teacher and all of the students wondered about his answer. The
teacher asked him, "Johnny, why do you think one can suck a lamp?"
Last night when I passed my parents room", Little Johnny answered,
"I
heard my mom say, turn off the lamp, honey and let me suck it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1774
The Story of Valentina
It was a cold day Feb 14th, Valentine's day. Diana and BJ were
going to
Walmart to pick up a few odds and ends. BJ is using the electric
cart
and is in the store when Diana brings a small black puppy and...
Diana: Isn't she the cutest thing?
BJ: We have three dogs and three cats already. Do you want her?
Diana: Look at her eyes.
BJ: Okay, you want her. Go tell the people you want her.
Diana: I will, put her inside your coat, she is cold. She is part
lab and
is the runt of the litter.
A few minutes later....
Diana: They drove off, I guess we will have to keep her.
BJ: How old is she?
Diana: Four weeks.
BJ: It will be touch and go, that is very young.
Later at the house....
Sandi: Oh good, I get to be a mother again.
Rudy: I get to be a father.
Katie: Groan...
To be continued
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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