Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
There are companies out there that deserve our commendation
and others out there that deserve our condemnation.
For example IBM just built a new 38 million dollar plant in New
York to manufacture servers when lots of companies are moving
electronic assembly jobs to Mexico and elsewhere.
Whirlpool however commenced lay-offs in Indiana last month
as they started to bring their new refrigerator factory online in
Mexico. I will never buy another Kenmore appliance.
China last month reported a 6.2 billion dollar Global trade deficit,
its first ever. Although we are only a small part of that there are
ongoing negotiations for entry into their markets for tires, music,
movies and other goods.
One more good note although I don't believe I will be driving a
35,000 dollar electric car anytime in the future is that the Volt
has passed all of its mileage tests so far and is on track for
it's release this year. This will bring some badly needed jobs
to Detroit and taking a cue from Toyota's mistakes the Volt
will have a brake override. Anti-lock is good Anti-stop is not.
Maybe there is hope for the economy still.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Toast Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A hotel holds three weddings on the same day and at the end of the
night the 3 grooms meet up at the bar to discuss the days events
over a couple of night-caps. One questions the other two, "look
it's our wedding night and I was wondering how many times are we
expected to...um... you know....do it!" The other two look blankly
at him, then they all delve into a conversation about whether the
usual once is enough, or should they go for twice, as it's a special
occasion!
Anyway they decide to retire to their respective wives and see how
the night goes, with the idea that over breakfast they'll discuss
what went on.
Suddenly one of the grooms pipes up, "Hold on fellas we can't
discuss our first night marital goings on over the breakfast table
with our wives sat with us." "No you're right, what we'll do then,
for every piece of toast you order with your breakfast, that's how
many times you did it" offers another groom. They all decide it's
an excellent idea and depart.
The next day in the hotel breakfast parlor they're all looking a bit
disheveled and the wives have the hairstyle known as the 'Just
Shagged Look'. The waitress comes up to the first groom to take his
order, "Yes I'll have the full English breakfast with THREE pieces
of toast please". The other two grooms smile at him and raise a
glass of fresh orange in a toast to his prowess.
The waitress moves to the second couple, and the groom orders, "I
shall also have the full English breakfast but could I have FOUR
pieces of toast" The other two grooms turn making pistols from their
fingers and shoot the FOUR shooter groom.
The waitress gets to the last groom "I TOO shall have the FULL
English breakfast please, yet I shall have,.." he takes a deep
breath and surveys the room, "SEVEN, yes SEVEN PIECES OF TOAST" he
calls for everyone's benefit whilst giving a big cheesy grin to his
two wedding mates, who stare at him rubbing their privates thinking
how raw their friend must be. "Seven pieces of toast sir?" queries
the waitress "why that's an awful lot" "Yes indeed young lady, seven
pieces of toast it is." She writes down his order then turns away,
but before she leaves the seven times a night groom calls after her
again. "And by the way love, make two of them brown!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
your parents
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does not count
http://www.thepostm
bastard brand
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Lamborghini
http://sydesjokes.
Lamborghini Compacto
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Landing In Fog
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A 16 year daughter shows up in the house really late after
her first date. Her angry mother asks her where the hell
she's been all night.
"Mom, I think I am in love!"
"What do you mean, it was your first date with this guy!"
"Yeah, but I sucked his dick and then he fucked me in the
ass."
"That's not love, my little one, that's lust. When you first get
fucked in the ass and then suck his dick.... that's love!"
A blonde goes over to her friends' house wearing a
T.G.I.F. tee-shirt.
"Why are you wearing a 'Thank God it's Friday' tee-
shirt on Monday?"
"Oh shit!" the blonde says, "I thought it meant
'Tits Go In Front'!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Scottish Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One cold December day, a French tourist in Scotland decided to find
out if the natives were as tight as he had heard. He stopped at a
farm cottage, told the farmer's wife he was freezing to death, and
was invited to come in and warm himself at the hearth. Once inside
the house, he complained of being thirsty. The woman handed him an
enormous white crockery mug filled with milk. After taking a big
swig, the guest exclaimed, "This is sweet and fresh ... you are
most generous!" She replied modestly, "It's nothing. My family
wouldn't drink that milk because we found a dead rat in it." Sick to
his stomach, the Frenchman clapped both hands over his mouth,
allowing the huge mug to fall to the floor and shatter on the stone
floor.
The Scotswoman grabbed her broom, raised it high in the air, brought
it down on the visitor's head, and hollered, "Get out, you
ungrateful pig! I take you in my home, I let you share my fire, I
give you milk to drink ... and now you repay my kindness by
breaking the children's potty chair!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Condom Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
50 Dumb uses for used condoms...
1) Bicycle handle grips.
2) French tickler animals.
3) Shower caps for people with tiny heads.
4) Put one on a lightbulb for mood lighting.
5) Fill one with helium and tie a note to it.
6) Get 1000 and make a submarine.
7) Put one over the showerhead to surprise Dad.
8) Put 'em on your cat's feet to keep it from climbing the curtains.
9) Blow a bunch up and tie them to the cars outside a wedding.
10) Put one on your nose and be Bobo the clown.
11) Water wings for those non-swimmers.
12) Use 500 of them to spell out "We Want Women!!" on your house.
13) Jello molds.
14) Finger puppets.
15) A wind sock.
16) Use as a bobber when fishing.
17) Put them on soda cans to keep the fizz in when you're not
drinking it.
18) Practical joke: Put one on an exhaust pipe.
19) Suspenders.
20) Recycle as a Burger King ketchup baggie. (or would mayonnaise
be better?)
21) Small animal muzzle.
22) Put them on your fingers & play proctologist.
23) Put them on your toes to make swimfins.
24) Draw eyeballs on them and make funny glasses.
25) Automatic door closing devices.
26) Have 'water' balloon fights.
27) Glue a bunch together and use to replace silicon breast
implants.
28) Freeze them for an all- natural popsicle.
29) Glue several together and sell as a "Stretch Man" toy.
30) Use for a Xmas stocking stuffings for those that screwed you.
31) Ear/nose plugs.
32) Use 365 of them to make into a tire, and call it a "Good Year".
33) Replace those old "Dr. Scholls" shoe cushions.
34) Feed them to your pet iguana, Clyde.
35) Paint scales on them & put them in a fishtank.
36) "I challenge you to a duel!"
37) Drain plugs.
38) Put them in with your tax return.
39) Go see "Saturday Night Fever" and throw them at the screen.
40) Punching bags.
41) Hang them on the blades of a ceiling fan.
42) Send 69 of them to your ex-girlfriend.
43) Novelty key rings.
44) Hang them all around your windshield and be a chicano.
45) Spell "Happy Birthday" on a cake.
46) Break out your paints and make wax fruit.
47) Glue them on your nipples and try to swing them in opposite
directions.
48) Make a patch work "water" bed.
49) Put your money in one. Nobody will steal it!
50) Stick one on the bridge of your nose and run around saying
"Gobble Gobble".
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Breast Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day this fellow noticed that a new couple had moved into the
house next door. He was also quick to notice that the woman liked
to sunbathe in the back yard, usually in a skimpy bikini that showed
off a magnificent pair of breasts. He made it a point to water and
trim his lawn as much as possible, hoping for yet another look.
Finally, he could stand it no more. Walking to the front door of
the new neighbor's house, he knocked and waited. The husband, a
large, burly man, opened the door. "Excuse me," the man stammered,
"But I couldn't help but notice how beautiful your wife is." "Yeah?
So?"
his hulking neighbor replied. "Well, in particular, I am really
struck by how beautiful her breasts are. I would gladly pay you ten
thousand dollars if I could kiss those breasts." The burly gorilla
is about to deck our poor guy when his wife appears and stops him.
She pulls him inside and they discuss the offer for a few moments.
Finally, they return and ask our friend to step inside.
"OK," the husband says gruffly, "For ten thousand dollars you can
kiss my wife's breasts." At this the wife unbuttons her blouse, and
the twin objects of desire hang free at last. Our man takes one in
each hand, and proceeds to rub his face against them in total
ecstasy. This goes on for several minutes, until the husband gets
annoyed. "Well, come on already, kiss 'em!" he growls. "I can't,"
replies our awe-struck man, still nuzzling away. "Why not?" demands
the husband, getting really angry now. "I don't have ten thousand
dollars."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/The Love of Jesus
http://www.silveran
HOW GREAT THOU ART
http://www.openmyey
Maria
http://www.poetryby
Marlene / Elvis / Only believe
http://summerhoosie
Between Day And Night
http://www.shangral
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Surfin Surfari
Chevy Volt
http://gm-volt.
Titanic History
http://www.encyclop
Rock , Paper , Scissors On - Line Via Wesley
http://roshambo.
Road Train Trucks
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Optimize Your Web Connection With TCP Optimizer (Windows)
http://www.speedgui
Find Open Source Alternative to Commercial Software
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Convert Word, Excel and PowerPoint docs to PDF
http://www.commerce
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
Extreme Poodle Makeover
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Kitty Korner
http://www.swapmeet
A Mother Horse's Love!
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Movie Links
Hard at the Beach
http://www.buffalos
Harley Ad
http://www.buffalos
Harsh Laws
http://www.buffalos
Herbal Elements For Men
http://www.buffalos
Hilary Campaign
http://www.buffalos
Get out of my bed cat
http://www.buffalos
GGG music video
http://www.buffalos
Girls scout cookie money
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Girl Vs desert Eagle
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Global Warming and the Classroom
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tax Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
We could balance the Federal Budget if we taxed sex. Everyone would
pay their share. Young people would pay more taxes and your tax
liability would decrease as you got older. The tax would also
promote family values. How would you like to come home to your wife
and have her ask, "Honey, why is your tax bill larger than mine?" Or
be a teenager and come home to your dad with your tax bill in his
hand.
We wouldn't have to pay people to work for the IRS, they would be
paying to work there just so they could review peoples returns.
Locker room conversations would change, "Get a load of this tax
bill!" The forms would change a little also. We would now have a
1040-Quickee. And it would give a whole new meaning to the phrase,
"Substantial penalty for early withdrawal."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Air Bag
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Air Bags
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Airline Food
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Airport Security
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Began with routine pat down
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Air Safety
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Winter is here with his grouch,
The time when you sneeze and you slouch.
You can't take your women
Canoein' or swimmin',
But a lot can be done on a couch!
It always delights me at Hank's
To walk up the old river banks.
One time in the grass
I stepped on an ass,
And heard a young girl murmur, "Thanks."
There was a young idler named Blood,
Who made a fortune performing at stud;
With a fifteen-inch peter,
A double-beat metre,
And a load like the Biblical Flood.
There once was a husky young Viking
Whose sexual prowess was striking.
Every time he got hot
He would scour the twat
Of some girl that might be to his liking.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A father and his three beautiful, blonde, daughters went into a
hotel to
stay for the night. When the daughters went to check in, they saw a
really good-looking bellboy. The father caught the three girls
looking
at him and he threatened to kill the bellboy if he did anything at
all
with them. So the bellboy minded his own business and ignored the
girls.
While he was working ever so diligently, the eldest daughter goes up
to
him and says "If you don't do it with me in bed, I will pour red
juice
on the sheets of my bed and tell my father that you popped my
cherry."
Fearing for his life, he did it with her. Then he saw the beautiful
middle daughter in the hallway and she too walked over to him and
said
"If you don't do it with me, I'll pour red juice on my bed and tell
my
father that you popped my cherry."
Again fearing for his life, he agreed. Later that evening the
youngest
blonde daughter saw him. She walked up to him and said "If you don't
have sex with me, I'll pour green juice all over the bed and tell my
father that you popped my cherry."
"Green juice?" He asked. "Why Green?"
She replied, "Because my cherry is not ripe yet, duh."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1571
Kampy Kamping
BJ and Sandi trudge back to their tiny tent while Katie and Rudy
are basking in their glory.
Sandi: Don't worry daddy I would rather be with you than in that
large
comfortable tent with all that yummy food.
BJ: Thanks, I think.
Later that night a strong wind comes up. Later thunder sounds...
A-Rooo!
Sandi: Daddy, I think that is Rudy. He is scared of thunder.
BJ: Right. I guess I need to go check on him. Will you be okay?
Sandi: Yes. Go quickly.
BJ goes to the large tent and finds Rudy shaking in the middle of
the
floor.
A-ROOO!!!!
Rudy: Want to go to your tent!
BJ: Come on ole boy.
Rudy runs to dad's tent and gets in the sleeping bag next to BJ.
Sandi: Comfy?
Rudy: Yes. Father?
BJ: Yes Rudy.
Rudy: Where's your nuts?
BJ: Excuse me?
Rudy: Your cashews. You always brings cashews on your camping
trips.
BJ: Oh, right here. Here ya go.
Rudy: Thanks.... and thanks for getting me.
Sandi: It is not the size of the tent but the comfort one gets from
your tent.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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