Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
It is really white outside this morning. Not pretty sunlight
glistening
off of the snow flakes in the trees, this is ugly white snow falling
on
a gray dismal morning. We need the moisture though, no matter where
it comes from as a yesterday could have set the whole state on fire.
I remember back in 1992 on April 7th I went to bed and it was
green outside and when I woke up there was 8 inches of wet snow
on the ground. I managed to get my car out of the driveway and
into the street but the Olds 98 was so low to the ground it got
stuck in the middle of the road. I called work and of course they
had some emergency that they needed maint. for as I worked
alone back then so we went back out and took another try. A
neighbor stopped with his plow truck and plowed a couple hundred
feet behind the Olds so I could get a run. I got up to 30 mph. and
hit the snow and it was like a big hand stopped the car.
I called work again and told them I was waiting for a plow and
they said they needed me right away and I told them to
come and get me and they decided they didn't need me that bad
so I cooked a big breakfast and sat down to wait for a plow. It
took an hour but they finally got to our road and I went to work.
To all my friends to the East, there are snowflakes headed your
way and it was 53 yesterday.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hell Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor
shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course,
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So
we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume
that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no
souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's
look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion,
we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates
as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to
expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,'
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night,
then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory
is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not
accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct.....
Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which
explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
worst case
http://www.thepostm
a fair trade
http://www.thepostm
the fart locker
http://www.thepostm
Kayak And Killer Whale
http://sydesjokes.
Keep The Kids Quiet In The Car
http://sydesjokes.
Kegos
http://sydesjokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jesse Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Open Letter to Jesse James
You Stupid Bastard! You cheated on Sandra Bullock?
How in the world can you be so stupid? You are married to one
of the most beautiful women in the world; she has a body to die for,
and her current wealth and predicted wealth is shadowed only by
Oprah, who even Steadman will tell you, isn't attractive.
But your wife, who recently beat out Julia Roberts in the polls
and is now the named "America's Sweetheart"; you also remember she
just won an Oscar (which translates to more money per picture she
makes in the future)...while you were shacking with that tattooed
freak, who just happens to be a former stripper and is someone's
mommy.
You are really a piece of work! You are the most hated asshole
cheater on the planet! And while the State of California is a
no-fault state whereby you may be able to take half of your wife's
wealth, in doing so you would only be hated even more...especially
after Sandra's speech during the Oscars in which she did nothing but
praise you. How can you live with yourself after she even cared for
your children?
I only have one thing to say to a despicable, miserable,
cheating piece of crap that you are:
Thank You!! You really helped to take the heat off of of me.
Lets do lunch sometime and compare notes.
~Tiger Woods
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Turbo Snake
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View Website
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A fella goes to the doctor and says, "I got a mole on the end of my
penis"
Doc says, "Drop your trousers and show me"
After a look the doctor says,
"I can get rid of the mole but I'm gonna have to report you to the
animal welfare people."
A few years ago a man who was openly gay was elected as the Mayor of
Key West, Florida.
After the election results were in, a hord of reporters surrounded
him and began asking him questions on how he won.
A young reporter walked up to him and said: "Mr. Mayor, I understand
that you used a basic grass roots campaign to win, met lots of
people, shook lots of hands, kissed lots of babies...I even heard
that you kissed a parakeete."
The mayor relied: "That's right young man, I brought the campaign to
the people, but I must correct you on one point, I did not kiss a
parakeete...
Susan
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Kangaroo Keeper
Instantly organize any bag with the Kangaroo Keeper. Coming in
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for just the cost of shipping and handling
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cartoon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cartoon character pick-up lines
Wimpy -- "I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for a hummer today."
Foghorn Leghorn -- "Ah say, boy, ah say, you've got it all
wrong. Those little chickens you've been chasing around
are roosters. What you want is a big ol' hen, like me."
Bart Simpson -- "Eat my shorts, ma'am!"
Batman -- "Wanna help to dispel those nasty rumors about me
and the Boy Wonder?"
Speedy Gonzales -- "Senorita, it's just a nickname!"
Pepe LePew -- "But, mon cherie -- I don't smell any worse
than anyone else in France."
Porky Pig -- "L-L-Let's go back to my place and
f-f-f-f-f-f-
Popeye -- "I'm strong to the finish 'cause I takes Viagra!"
Pinocchio -- "Hey, I *am* a woody!"
Underdog -- "My heart is for you, my Polly, dear; You are
pure and true, can I sniff your rear?"
Tweety Bird -- "I wuuuv to eat putty!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vicki was still feeling a bit weak and not up to par after her
recent bout with the flu and went to see her doctor. After a quick
examination, he said, "You look weak and exhausted! What have you
been doing? Are you getting out in the fresh air, getting enough
exercise, and having your meals 3 times a day, as I advised on your
last visit?"
Vicki, looked up, a bit surprised and exclaimed, "Oh doc, I've sure
been getting the first two, but on that last one, I woulda swore you
said three males a day!
Did you hear about the guy who gave up masturbation for Lent?
He couldn't wait for Palm Sunday.
A young lady is on a cliff edge about to jump to her death when she
is approached by a young man who asks if she's going to kill
herself.
To her reply of yes, he asks if she can give him a blow job before
she does it. "Sure, life sucks, I may as well." When she's done he
tells her it was great, and asks why she's going to kill herself.
She replies, "My parents disowned me for dressing like a woman!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Dirt Roads
http://silverandgol
Carol w/Love You Like It's My Last
http://www.carolspo
Lamb Of God
http://www.shangral
Maxine On Jesus
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Aircraft Bone Yard Via Wesley
http://www.bertc.
Crop Circle Connector
http://www.cropcirc
could tiny bubbles cool the planet? Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.
Lighthouses of the world
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Free File Defragmentation Tool
http://www.defraggl
Free 3D mechanical CAD (MCAD) Software
http://www.solidwor
Tool For Counting Words in Text
http://www.wordcoun
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://cuteoverload
Kitty Korner
http://cyberpet.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.
You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Nandos Chips NAND
http://www.buffalos
Naughty Song From The Bible Belt
http://www.buffalos
Never Trust A Women
http://www.buffalos
New Zealand Anti Drinking Ad
http://www.buffalos
Oh Shit
http://www.buffalos
An Intellectual Blonde
http://www.buffalos
Asking For Directions
http://www.buffalos
Baby & Dog
http://www.buffalos
Baxter Black So Lucky To Be An American
http://www.buffalos
Beer Pong
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ponzi Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's a "rewritten" version of Elton John's hit recording Your Song,
speciallydedicated to Scott Sullivan, former CFO of WorldCom. Feel
free
tosing out loud especially if you're still holding WCOME stock.
It's a little bit funny, doing 10 to life inside
I'm not one of those who likes his butt cheeks spread wide
I don't have much stock left, all sold at the bid
And I've got a huge house where I'll never live.
If I was a auditor, but then again no,
Or the man who commits fraud as the CFO
I know it's not honest but its the best I can do
My gift is my options, investors ain't got a clue.
CHORUS:
And you can tell everybody this is my con
I know it's quite illegal but now that its done
I hope they don't find
I hope they don't find the irregularities
How wonderful life is when you're not fighting guilty pleas.
I sat in my office
Covering up a huge loss
Well a few of the numbers they got me quite cross
But the board`s been quite kind while I wrote this con
It's for people like them that I'll get the accounting wrong
So excuse me for forgetting what's a lie and what's true
You see I've forgotten if they're expenses or revenue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
My mansion's the biggest house I've ever seen
Repeat CHORUS
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
clear coat
http://www.buffalos
holy dress
http://www.buffalos
bug
http://www.buffalos
christmas sex
http://www.buffalos
bugs and lola
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rainbow Peppers - Grow 5 Different Colored Peppers on 1 Plant
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incredible sweet tastes of all the individual flavors. Make colorful
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peppers.
Why pay supermarket prices when you can grow delicious peppers on
your own. Each plant can produce up to 30 peppers.
Buy 3 Rainbow Pepper plants and get 3 Big Bertha plants on us.
Learn More
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a miss from Wake Forest
Who had a gigantic clitoris.
Most people, you see,
Thought her name was Marie,
But her intimates knew her as Horace.
Mike Phelps joined a cult and he might
Start worshiping with them tonight
They smoke while they pray
He heard their priest say
Their mantra, "Two bongs make a rite"
There was a young man from Maine
Whose prick was as strong as a crane;
It was almost as long,
So he strolled with his dong
Extended in sunshine and rain.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buy One Get One Free
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Years of culinary experience and research went into designing this
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Who says flattery gets you nowhere? My wife was practically beaming
when I told her, "Honey, for you I would only have to use half a
Viagra."
He: I'm tired, I'm drunk, and I'm horny. What do you say?
She: Get some sleep, get sober, and get a grip.
A group of bats is hanging around, upside down, as usual, mostly
sleeping. Suddenly one notices that Charlie is on the floor,
standing
upright and looking around.
"Hey, Charlie," he calls out. "What are you doing down there?"
Charlie looks up and says, "Yoga!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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wood colors, stains and grains. So whether your wood is dark, light
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match. View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1566
Kardboard Stunts
Tami is rushing around as she is late getting out of the house
for work. She grabs her purse and heads out the door. She has her
car keys and as she puts them in the car door...the car door falls
off.
Tami: What the...?
Tami: I don't have time for this.
She grabs the car door and puts it in the back seat. When she does,
the
back of the car collapses, and the sides fall off. The whole car is
flat,
leaving Tami there holding just her key. Tami looks around and sees
three grinning dogs....
Tami: What did you do to my car?
Katie: Nothing.
Sandi: We would never touch your car. Honest
Rudy: A-Roo!
Tami: Look at this. My car is ruined.
Sandi: Do you see a motor in that mess?
Tami: Err no. Hey, this car is made of cardboard.
Katie: Right!
Tami: Where is my car?
Katie: Probably in your garage.
Tami: Grrr!!!
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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