Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I know that everyone considers the Unions in this country to be top
notch but here is what real unions are like.
April first the Carlsberg Brewery in Denmark decided that their
workers could only drink during lunch. Up to that point they had
coolers throughout the plant and you could have a beer whenever
you got thirsty. The only rule was that you had to stay sober at
work.
The Union objected heavily to the new rules and 850 people walked
out the first day and 250 on the second day. Then the truck drivers
Union walked out in support even though they have no restrictions
on their drinking and are allowed to have 3 bottles of beer in the
truck with them. They do have breathalyzer ignitions on their truck
which prevents it from starting if they are drunk.
On the third day they finally agreed to go back to work with an
agreement to renegotiate in the next few weeks.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Line Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was once a great actor, who had a problem. He could no longer
remember his lines. Finally after many years he finds a theater
where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again.
The director says, "This is the most important part, and it has only
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The theater erupted, the audience was screaming with laughter and
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The actor was bewildered, "What happened, did I forget my line?"
He asked. "No!" the director screamed, "You forgot the bloody
rose!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
After three years of marriage, Kim was still questioning
her husband about his lurid past. "C'mon, tell me," she
asked for the thousandth time, "how many women have you
slept with?"
"Baby, " he protested, "if I told you, you'd throw a fit."
Kim promised she wouldn't get angry, and convinced her
hubby to tell her.
"Okay," he said, "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven - then
there's
you - nine, ten, 11, 12, 13....."
~~~
Drunk walks up to the host of a party and says, "'Scuse me,
but do you have green toilet paper that says, 'Fuck you?'"
The host looks disdainfully at the drunk and says, "No, I
don't have green toilet paper that says, 'Fuck you.'"
"Oh, then I'm terribly sorry," says the drunk, "but I think
I just wiped my ass with your parrot."
~~~~
A small company was on the edge of bankruptcy. The owner summoned
his two-man sales force into his office.
"Things aren't going too well, guys," he announced grimly. "So to
perk up sales I'm announcing a contest. The guy with the most
sales gets a blow job."
"What does the loser get?" asked one of the salesmen.
The owner looked at both men and said, "The loser gets to give it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What do you call a man who hates women?
A: A fashion designer.
------------
Q: What's the difference between a child molester
and a fucking freak?
A: Political correctness.
------------
Q: What does a Jewish woman say just before she has an orgasm?
A: "Sorry Mom, but I have to hang up now!"
------------
Q: Why are blondes like Corn Flakes?
A: Because they're simple, they're easy, and they taste good!
------------
Q: What's the most common cause of hearing loss among men?
A: His wife saying she wants to talk to him.
------------
Q: How long did it take to fill the red sea?
A: A very long period.
------------
Q: There are two fleas on a pussy. One is smoking dope...
what's the other one doing?
A: Sniffing crack.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sausage Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arlene was walking down North Main
Street in Danville. As she walked
past the delicatessen, she glanced into
the shop window.
There, nestled in amongst the salami,
was a sign proclaiming "Fresh
from Warsaw- World's largest
(commercially available) Sausage".
Hanging on a large hook above it, was
the most enormous sausage she
had ever seen. It must've been at least
eight inches in diameter,
and two feet long.
"That's a two-man zeppelin, not a
sausage" she thought, "Oh well,
I'll try anything once". So she walked
into the shop, heaved the 20
lb. monster down off the hook and,
thunking it down on the counter,
presented it to the shopkeeper, who
immediately wrestled it onto the
machine and started slicing it up.
"Hey what the Hell are you doing!!??"
cried Arlene in dismay, "What do
you think my pussy is? a coin-slot???
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"John and I had hardly finished one argument when I screwed up and
started another one," said Jill.
"How'd you do that?" asked Nadine.
"Well," said Jill, "you know when you're done with a big fight and
your significant other suggests a little 'make-up sex?'"
"Yeah" says Nadine.
Jill replies, "I guess it wasn't the right time for me to ask, 'Does
it have to be with you?'"
~~~
After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend's new telephone
number, I dialed him -- and got a woman.
"Is Mike there?" I asked confused.
"Umm, he's in the shower," she responded.
"Would you please tell him his girlfriend called," I said and
immediately hung up.
When he didn't return the call, I angrily dialed again. This time a
man answered. "This is Mike," he said.
"Like Hell you are!" I exclaimed. "You're not my boyfriend!"
"Lady, I know that," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to
tell my wife for the past half-hour."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Love is Softly Calling
http://www.silveran
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
http://ministry-
Marlene/New page/Come home it's Supper time
http://summerhoosie
html
John w/ All Nite Long
http://heavens-
Carol w/ Praying Together
http://www.carolspo
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Surfin Surfari
Iceland's Volcano
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Political Humor 5
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Building Advertising Art
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Desert Skiing
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
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Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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morning.....
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
The Groove Shack Juke Box
http://www.thegroov
Linkable Midis
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Site Launcher - Firefox Addon Via Wesley http://tinyurl.
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Links
Benny Hill Wishing Well
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Be Quiet
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Best Casino Ad Ever
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Best First Dance At A Wedding
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Best Video Of The Year
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CCR Lorraine
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Cell Phone
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Chick Em
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Child Proof Drawer
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Children Fire Alarms
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bra Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
What To Do With 1000 Bras
~ Thanks to you, scarecrows nationwide will now get in touch with
their
feminine side.
~ At Halloween: "Here's a piece of candy for you, and a little
something
for your Mom."
~ You and 999 of your cross-dressing friends smuggle 2,000
cantaloupes
out of the Piggly Wiggly.
~ Make 2000 lacey yarmulkes with safety chinstraps.
~ Dump them in a pile. Remove clothes. Roll ar... um, I mean "Donate
them to a women's shelter."
~ Stitch them together, tie them between two trees, and use them as
a
launch vehicle for the National Missile Defense System. Twice as
effective than the one they're testing now!
~ Get 1000 mannequins and start practicing, Poindexter.
~ Creative wallpapering for the "Hobbies and Recreational
Activities"
wing of the Clinton Presidential Library.
~ Time to re-stock the J. Edgar Hoover Museum gift shop!
~ "999 bras on the wall, 999 bras. Take one down and pass it around,
998
bras on the wall..."
~ Put a check beside "Phase I" of your plan to build 1,000 Britney
Spears robots.
~ Bury Tom Jones once and for all.
~ Pick out the largest and start looking for Cinderella.
~ Position friend atop skyscraper with bras.
~ Do "Native American Lingerie Dance" on sidewalk until large crowd
gathers.
~ Give the secret signal and wait for hilarity to ensue.
~ Hold them hostage until bra-less Victoria's Secret models storm
your
house to get them -- and since you're dreaming anyway, they'll bring
beer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ride a Fat Boy
http://www.buffalos
Bum Fuck Egypt
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Good Spanking
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No screwing in public restrooms
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Work For head
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Wicked Picture
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young lady of fashion
Who had oodles and oodles of passion.
To her lover she said,
As they climbed into bed,
"Here's one thing the bastards can't ration!"
____________
There was a young stud from Missouri
Who fucked with astonishing fury
'Til taken to court!"
For his vigorous sport,
And condemned by a poorly-hung jury.
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The doctor gazed at the harassed, stout lady who sat
on the other side of his desk. "I was right, Mrs.
Green," he announced, "You are definitely pregnant again."
"This will be the fifteenth, doc," said Mrs. Green
grimly. "You'll have to help me. Enough is enough.
I want one of those hearing aids!"
"A hearing aid?" frowned the doctor. "Surely you mean
a contraceptive device?"
"I mean a hearing aid, doctor. You see it's like
this. Every Saturday night my husband comes in drunk.
When he gets into bed he says, "Now then, are we
going to sleep, or what?"
And every blasted time I say, 'What?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1772
Home
Rudy: Okay Pops we are home, but ahh, we live in a tri-level house,
so
you have to go either upstairs or downstairs. The only thing on the
first floor is the garage.
Diana: It is thirteen steps upstairs and four stairs downstairs.
BJ: Arrgh. I have the walker, I guess downstairs, but I cannot use
the walker, nor can I walk up or down stairs.
Sandi: What do we do?
BJ: I can crawl.
So crawl he does and after a time, he makes downstairs, to the
walker.
Diana: Let's get him to bed.
Katie: This is hard to watch.
BJ: This is hard to do, but it will get easier.
That night, the doggies all sleep around dad, but avoid his sore
knee.
To be continued
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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