THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
"Hope is the only good that is commonto all men; those
who have nothing else possess hope still"
Thales of Miletus 634 BC-546 BC
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
This is one of those, Did you ever do something
really stupid? moments. Remember I told you
I had just gotten the bike back from
the shop because the battery was fried after a cold
winter? So I'm planning a big long ride, and
the weather yesterday is just fabulous. And guess
what? brand new battery on the bike and when I
had brought it from the bike shop,
I left the stupid key in the
ignition and ran the sucker dead as a door nail. So
I can't remember which neighbor I loaned the trickle
down charger to. And thats part of the reason
I did not keep the battery charged correctly this
winter. But anyways, even if I did remember, it would
not be a good thing to go ask for it back, because
then that neighbor would want all the stuff back
that I had borrowed from him also.
So, I ran out and bought another
charger and did manage to get it charged back up again,
and in fact, did manage to do a 3 hour ride, Not
quite as long as I had planned but good just the
same. The first ride of the season.
Its going to be a good year.
NEW: APRIL FOOLS VIRUS WARNING:
I generally do not print virus warnings but this
one is rather severe. Be on the look out for it as
so far, Mcaffeys and Norton neither one offer a good
patch for it. If you contract this virus on your system,
use the F13 key to remove it. Pushing the F13 key on
your key board once a day or so will help prevent getting
it, also.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
I can explain
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t030.html
compliments
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t031.html
funny sound
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t032.html
Abner
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t033.html
lame
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t034.html
be more careful
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t035.html
oh Lord
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t036.html
complaints
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t037.html
caution
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t038.html
dive
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t039.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
the dog and the duck
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9361.html
the most dangerous intersection in the world Russia
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9362.html
tp prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9363.html
the door
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9364.html
foreign voice modulator
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9365.html
Jeep
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9366.html
_____________
Harry and Rachel are celebrating their fiftieth wedding
anniversary at the Fontainbleau and it's a hell of a
party: champagne, caviar, toasts by all of their best
friends who've assembled for the occasion. Finally,
tired and happy, the couple retires to their luxurious
suite."Rachel," says Harry, "you know, this would be
the perfect evening if only...""Oh, Harry," sighs Rachel,
"I thought you got over that years ago. You know I
don't like it.""But, Rachel, it's such a special night.
Just this once...""Harry, you know how I feel about this
sort of thing.""I know, I know," pleads Harry, "but you
know how much it'll mean to me."So Rachel finally goes
down on him. Just as she's finishing up, the phone rings.
Harry gets up on one elbow and says,
"Answer the phone, cocksucker."
_____________
Steve Davis, the world champion snooker player, got
married and it was the first night of his honeymoon.
His beautiful wife lay spread across the bed wearing
only a scanty silken black nightdress.
Presently Steve came out of the bathroom totally
naked with a long stiff erection and walked slowly to
the foot of the bed. He didn't utter a sound but simply
stood there looking at her and chalking the end of his
erect penis.This went on for over ten minutes, the only
movement being the slow rhythmic chalking of the tip of
his penis and the movement of his head from side to side
as he stared at her lying on the bed. Eventually, moist
with excitement and shaking with anticipation she tore
off her night dress and slowly spread her legs wide open
waiting for him to take her.Steve simply raised his
eyebrows, cocked his head to the side and continued to
slowly stroke the soft chalk across the glistening,
throbbing penis as he stared intensely at the pleasures
he saw between her outspread legs. It was too much for her
to stand, writhing in an agony of expectation and
frustration she screamed out, "For God's sake what are
you waiting for?"Steve gently stroked the chalk across his
throbbing penis, blew the loose chalk off its end, smiled
and looking even more closely between her smooth thighs
quietly told her, "I'm trying to decide whether to go for
the tight brown or the easy pink."
___________
A contestant Sally, on 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?'
had reached the final plateau.
If she answered the next question correctly, she would win
$1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket
only the $32,000 milestone money. And as she suspected the
Million Dollar Question was no pushover.
It was, 'Which of the following species of birds does not
build its own nest but instead lays its eggs in the n
ests of other birds? Is it:
A) the condor
B) the buzzard
C) the cuckoo
D) the vulture
The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer.
She had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Ask the Audience.
All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline.
She hoped she would not have to use it because........
Her friend was,....... well, a blonde.
But she had no alternative. She called her friend and
gave her the question and the four choices. The blonde
responded unhesitatingly:
'That's easy. The answer is C: the cuckoo.'
The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast.
She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving
any answer except the one that her friend had given her.
And considering her friend was a blonde that would seem
to be the logical thing to do. But her friend had responded
with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant
could not help but be convinced.
Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, 'C: The cuckoo.'
'Is that your final answer?'
'Yes, that is my final answer..'
'That answer is Absolutely correct!
You are now a millionaire!'
Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her
family and friends, including the blonde who had helped
her win the million dollars.
'Jeni, I just do not know how to thank you, ' said the
contestant. 'How did you happen to know the right answer?'
'Oh, come on,' said the blonde 'Everybody knows that
cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks.'
______________
Two matronly sisters lived together and managed a farm. All
their lives they had both had an extreme fear of thunder storms
and lightning.
One day one of the sisters was visiting a neighbor, and while
walking home was caught in a severe thunder storm. Lightning was
streaking across the sky and thunder was booming all around.
Totally terrified, she ran to a nearby haystack and buried her
head in the hay like an ostrich, so she could not see the
lightning or hear the thunder.
With her head buried in the hay, her rear end was exposed, and
the wind blew her dress up exposing a long unused part of her
anatomy.
Along came the local stud, and seeing the poor soul's
predicament, he did the only thing a well endowed stud would do
in such a situation.
After fully satisfying himself he zipped up his pants and went on
his merry way.
Soon the sister pulled her head out of the haystack and rushed
home, calling to her sister,
Sissy, Sissy, let me tell you something! I was just hit by
lightning... and we never have to be afraid again!!!!!!"
____________
I'm currently between destinations, but that's neither
here nor there.
The worst thing you can say to a man who complains that
his wife is frigid is, No, she isn't!
Q: What type of music sounds like periods in a woman's life?
A: Rag Time
_________________
FUN PAGES
Liong: The Dragon Dance
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41744&s=n
You Stoopid Here's Why
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=40809&s=n
Street Fighter II Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41560&s=n
Do Beer, Not Drugs
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38550&s=n
____________
BUFFALO BILL
blue bird
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jjjjfuiie.htm
blue cross
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mfkidguirhdjg.htm
blurry finger
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kdfnhkdfgk.htm
_____________
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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