THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get
older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Wherever I am is wherever I am meant to be,
whatever I am doing is whatever I am meant to
be doing and whatever everyone else is doing is
exactly what they are meant to be doing -
this is contentment. If you do want to change where
you are, or what you are doing, the first thing is
to be content with wherever you are and whatever
you are doing right now! Paradoxically that's what
attracts opportunities and invitations to be somewhere
else! Why? Because you are a living magnet, and
contentment is one of your most attractive qualities.
And the law of attraction says that according to your
dominant thoughts so you will attract the people and
circumstances into your life. Being content right
now attracts the best possible future.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
prosthetic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v050.html
offline
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v051.html
stop
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v052.html
honkie
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v053.html
reincarnated
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v054.html
choirboy in trouble
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v055.html
my analyst
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v056.html
hangin em
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v057.html
personal growth
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v058.html
funny you should ask
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v059.html
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
paintball accident
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9450.html
dog treats
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9451.html
they're important
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9452.html
the eagle and the deer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9453.html
Sue is coming over
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9454.html
_______________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS:
the best of 2005
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd001.html
nature
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd002.html
I miss you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd003.html
I asked
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd004.html
winter time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd005.html
The scene is a psychiatrists office. A patient is
saying, "Doc you gotta help me. Im 38 years old
and I still wet my bed."The psychiatrist said, "My
good man, that is merely an acting out of a retarded
ego development and a rejection of adult responsibilities.
We can stop you from wetting your bed in two ways.
The first is psychoanalysis; five visits a week,
fifty dollars a visit."
The guy says, "Whats the second way?"
The doctor replies, "Rubber shorts, $2.00 a pair.
__________
Doug goes to a doctor and says: "Doctor, my wife
recently has lost her voice. What should I do to help
her get it back?" The doctor replies,
"Try coming home at 3 in the morning!"
____________
Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the
blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On
his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered
four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large
ones out and throw them at me, will you"?
"Why do you want me to throw them at you"?
"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."
"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy."
"But why"?
"Because your wife came in earlier today and said that
if you came by, I should tell you to get the roughy.
She prefers that for supper tonight."
_________________
In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady,
virgin and very proud of it. Sensing that her final days
were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure
everything was in proper order when she dies, she went
to the town's undertaker (who also happened to be the local
postal clerk) to make proper 'final' arrangements. As a
last wish, she informed the undertaker that she wanted
the following inscription engraved on her tombstone:
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED AS A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN
Not long after, the old maid died peacefully. A few days
after the funeral, as the undertaker-postal clerk went
to prepare the tombstone that the lady had requested,
it became quite apparent that the tombstone that she
had selected was much too small for the wording that she
had chosen He thought long and hard about how he could
fulfill the old maid's final request, considering the very
limited space available on the small piece of stone.
For days, he agonized over the dilemma. But finally his
experience as a postal worker allowed him to come up with
what he thought was the appropriate solution to the problem.
The virgin's tombstone was finally completed and duly engraved,
and it read as follows:
RETURNED UNOPENED
____________
A group of Asian women were visiting a village located
in South Africa. They came across a booth selling human
breast. One of the Asian lady asked the butcher, "Why are
you selling women's breast?" The butcher replied, "In
Ouagadougou, we have found that consuming women's breast
can increase men's sex drive, and enlarge the size of their penis."
Hearing about the "enlarging the penis" the Asian woman was
determined to buy some for her husband. She quickly asks the
butcher for the price of the breast. "Well," says the butcher,
"It depends on what kind of breast you want. We have black breast,
white breast, and Asian breast."
"Give me the price of each!", said the Asian lady impatiently.
"The black breasts are $200 a pound," the butcher says. "White
breasts are $300 a pound, and the Asian breasts are $400 a pound."
The Asian women were glad to hear that Asian breasts were the
most expensive in the breast booth. "Hey, not bad! Asian
breasts are worth more!", said one of the Asian ladies.
"No no no, you don't understand," the butcher explains,
"you don't know how many Asian women we have to
kill to get one pound of breast!"
__________
BUFFALO BILL
Indian Teacher Explaining the Word *uck
http://www.buffaloschips.com/azsxa.htm
Instant Justice Mega Mix
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aqwsa.htm
Iraqi Speed Bump
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aawqs.htm
________________
SydesJokes Video Clips
Leaf Blower
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000891.html
Lenny Henry - Bad Timing
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000892.html
Lenovo Laptops Are Tough
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000893.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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