THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Nothing sucks more than that moment during
an argument when you realize you're wrong
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_________________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
MONKTON, Vt. (AP) - Future generations of salamanders in
one Vermont town are going to be getting some help crossing the road.
The Monkton Conservation Commission says it has won a $150,000
state grant to install one or two culverts under a stretch of
road to protect salamanders, other amphibians, reptiles and
small mammals crossing between a swampy area and the uplands.
The Burlington Free Press says the project will be the first
wildlife-crossing retrofit of a Vermont highway.
Now, I just wonder, if they continue to look for grants for
this project, do you think they will be able to pay to hire
crossing guards for the little buggers too? Maybe they can apply
for some federal grants and waste federal tax money also.
Or maybe they should have spent about 8 million dollars first for
a study to determine if salamanders have enough intelligence to
determine that it is safer to use a tunnel than to crawl across
the surface of the road in the first place
before they waste the money to build it.
Sheeshe. The infrastructure of America is crumbling before our
eyes, and we are spending our money on salamander tunnels.
Go figger.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_______________
THE COMICS
eharmony
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u001.html
sex test
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u002.html
the tide
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u003.html
summers eve
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u004.html
not my day
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u005.html
the pot of gold
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u006.html
a new tie
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u007.html
password
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u008.html
its over
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u009.html
________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
a chair
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9380.html
a waiter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9381.html
Honda
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9382.html
magic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9383.html
do you know who I am
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9384.html
funny shorts
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9385.html
for the birds
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9386.html
a camera
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9387.html
One evening Snow White decided she was sleepy and
announced to the seven dwarfs that she was going to bed.
After the usual lengthy round of "Good Nights," she went
upstairs. Immediately, all seven dwarfs rushed outside
and began standing on each others shoulders beneath Snow
White's bedroom window. Tonight was Grumpy's turn to be
on the top and as he was the only one who could see in the
window it was his duty to inform the other dwarfs what
she was doing.After a minute or two he hollered down,
"She's taking off her blouse!" and this was echoed down
the stack "taking off her blouse," "she's taking off her
blouse," "blouse is coming off," "taking off her blouse,"
etc.Next Grumpy yelled, "She's taking off her skirt,"
which was followed by the echoes "taking off her skirt,"
"she's taking off her skirt," "skirt's coming off,"
"taking off her skirt," etc.Of course the next line from
Grumpy was, "She's taking off her bra!" and the echo
chorus went down the line.Then, "She's taking off her
panties!" which again cascaded down the dwarf tower.
Finally, Grumpy looked around and from his vantage height
saw someone coming through the woods, so he yelled,
"Someone's coming!" And from the next dwarf down to the
bottom dwarf was heard, "Me too." "Me too." "Me too." "
Me too." "Me too." "Me too.
___________
The wife of a prominent gentleman was being tried for
the murder of her third husband. A lawyer asked,
'What happened to your first husband?'
'He died of mushroom poisoning.' said the wife.
'How about your second husband?' asked the lawyer.
'He died of mushroom poisoning, too,' said the woman.
'Well, then,' asked the lawyer, 'what about your third husband?'
The wife, replied, 'He died of a brain concussion.'
The lawyer asked, 'Why did that happen?'
The wife paused, and then said, 'He wouldn't eat the mushrooms.'
_________
A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she
wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they
were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted
that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found
3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.
Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. 'I thought
I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!'
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for
confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: 'I
felt sad because you went through this all by yourself.'
'The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the
surgery and understood because she had had the same
procedure done some time ago.' 'And what about the
third rose?' she asked. 'That's from a man upstairs in
the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears.'
_______________
Wives are funny creatures.
They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks
And then they want to kill the woman who does.
Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic sex.
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life?
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.
The stock markets now are like an old man's dick?
Just refusing to rise, and the irony is that everyone
Is still getting screwed!
This week is Breast Awareness Week.
Spread the slogan .......
"We stare because we care!"
____________
Jon was on a business trip for a few days, and one
night he went looking for a little "action."
He picked up a sweet young thing at the bar and took
her back to his hotel room. Little did he know that
she had a snapping pussy and was darn near a nymphomaniac.
After six times having sex, she was screaming for more.
After the eighth time, Jon told her that he needed
to slip out for a pack of cigarettes. On the way out,
he stopped into the men's room. He stood in front of
the urinal, unzipped his pants, and felt a moment of
panic when he couldn't find his tool.
After a couple of minutes fishing around, he finally
said, "Look, it's okay. She's not here!"
____________
My husband and I used to have a lovely setter named
Paddy who was very well loved by our two children.
Sadly, one day, Paddy was hit and killed by a neighbor's
car while chasing a squirrel. That evening, when the
children returned home from school, I called them in to
explain the tragedy. Quite surprisingly, they accepted
the grim news with little comment and returned to the yard to play.
After fifteen minutes or so, they found me in the kitchen
and asked where Paddy was. Thinking they were in some form
of denial, I gently started to describe again what had
happened to their beloved pet.
The younger boy burst into tears and sobbed,
"Paddy? I thought you said Daddy."
___________
FUN PAGES
Rome: Curse of the Necklace
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41782&s=n
Battle of Midway
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41820&s=n
Funniest Text Messages Ever
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=40652&s=n
A Hostess
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=8376&s=n
_______________
BUFFALO BILL
Why Women Live Longer Than Men
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72105.htm
Willie You Don't Think I'm Funny Anymore
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72202.htm
Women Drivers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72201.htm
___________
SydesJokes Video Clips
Jetfighter Midair Collison
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000849.html
Jingle Balls
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000850.html
Jingle Bells Taxi Ride
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000851.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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