Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Do you need a reason to party during the month of May. Take
May 5th for example, that's Nancy, the Nerdy Buffalo's birthday and also National Hoagie Day, so everybody should grab a case of beer and a few subs from Subway or your favorite Hoagie Shop and celebrate along with her. Multiple reasons for a hangover. Monday is Lumpy Rug Day or as it is known in this house, " Has anyone seen the daughter's hamster day?" Good time to go out and have an Irish Wake for the poor little beastie.
Bizarre Holidays in May
May 1 is Mother Goose Day and Save The Rhino Day
May 2 is Fire Day
May 3 is Lumpy Rug Day
May 4 is National Candied Orange Peel Day
May 5 is National Hoagie Day, Cinqo de Mayo
May 6 is Beverage Day
May 7 is International Tuba Day, Paste Up Day, and National Roast Leg Of Lamb Day
May 8 is No Socks Day and Have A Coke Day
May 9 is Lost Sock Memorial Day
May 10 is Clean Up Your Room Day
May 11 is Eat What You Want Day and Twilight Zone Day
May 12 is Limerick Day
May 13 is Leprechaun Day
May 14 is National Dance Like A Chicken Day
May 15 is National Chocolate Chip Day
May 16 is Wear Purple For Peace Day
May 17 is Pack Rat Day
May 18 is International Museum Day and Visit Your Relatives Day
May 19 is Frog Jumping Jubilee Day
May 20 is Eliza Doolittle Day
May 21 is National Memo Day and National Waitresses/Waiters Day
May 22 is Buy-A-Musical Instrument Day
May 23 is Penny Day
May 24 is National Escargot Day
May 25 is National Tap Dance Day
May 26 is Grey Day
May 27 is Body Painting Arts Festival
May 28 is National Hamburger Day
May 29 is End Of The Middle Ages Day
May 30 is My Bucket's Got A Hole In It Day
May 31 is National Macaroon Day
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Playboy Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Playboy Specialty Issues That Never Made It
- Girls With Gingivitis
- The "Women" of The Crying Game
- The Women of Home Depot
- 1960's Playmates Grown Old and Wrinkled
- The Girls of Rehab
- Constantly Angry Women
- Girls You Wouldn't Date if You Were the
Only Man Alive
- The Women of Circus Sideshows
- Drab, Unsexy Lingerie
- Old Women in Parkas
- Playmates Receiving Oscars
(Special April Fool's Issue)
- Invisible Women
- Girls Who Fell and Can't Get Up
- Women of Wal-Mart
- Women Racked With Self Doubt,
Feelings of Abandonment,
PMS and Inner Torment
- Chain Smoking Ladies
- Girls Gone Psycho
- "Does This Look Infected?" feature issue
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
what I want
http://www.thepostm
manners
http://www.thepostm
wouldn't you know it
http://www.thepostm
Male Priorities
http://sydesjokes.
Mama Nem
http://sydesjokes.
Man In Line
http://sydesjokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Animal Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quickie Animal Jokes
What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
A cock that stays up all night.
What do you get when you put an experimental monkey in a blender?
Rhesus Pieces.
If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the
outside? K9P.
What is brown and sits in the forest?
Winnie's poo.
What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?
A dog that runs for help after it bites your leg off.
What do you call three rabbits in a row, hopping backwards
simultaneously? A receding hareline.
What does an elephant use for a Tampon?
A sheep!
How many canaries can you get under a Scotsman's kilt?
Depends how long the perch is.
A fly sees a cute little female fly land on a pile of crap. He
buzzes down and says, "Excuse me, miss, is this stool taken?"
How do you know if elephants have been making love in your back
yard? The trash can liner bags are missing.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
You either get an onion with long floppy ears, or you get a piece of
ass that brings tears to your eyes!
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam."
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
Where do you get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep.
Did you hear about the nearsighted skunk?
He tried to rape a fart.
Why do mice have small balls?
Not that many know how to dance.
What sound does a Horny Toad make?
RUB IT, RUB IT..
What do you call a dog with metal balls and no hind legs? Sparky.
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Every time she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat.
Why do hens lay eggs?
If they dropped them, they'd break.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tree Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy looking for a job finds that a certain mill is hiring
lumberjacks. So he goes out to the mill and talks to the foreman
who tells him all about the job, pay and housing for all the
lumberjacks.
Everything looks perfect and the guy is ready to go to work at once.
But when he was walking around he noticed that there weren't any
women around. So he pulls the foreman aside and asks him what
everyone does for sex. The foreman laughs and brings him over to
this bog tree that has a hole in it. "This is the fucking tree,"
says the foreman, "whenever you get horny, come over and put your
dick in the hole and fuck away. Trust me, it does the trick every
time."
The man thinks it's kind of odd, but takes the job anyway. The days
go by and soon the man gets horny. He thinks about taking it out on
the tree, but it still seems weird to him, so he goes to his room
and jacks off.
A week passes and the guy gets hornier and hornier and jacking off
isn't enough for him. So finally he figures, 'what the hell,' and
sneaks over to the fucking tree in the middle of the night, whips
out his dick and puts it in the hole. to his surprise, it feels
great.
Soon enough he starts to fuck the shit out of it. After a great
session he goes back to bed with a big smile.
the next day after a hard day of work, he makes another visit to the
tree and it's even better this time. Again he pounds away at the
tree. He can't believe how amazing the tree is and wonders what
kind of magic tree they have. Things just couldn't get better for
him.
The following day, he runs to the tree after work, hurriedly takes
out his dick and puts it into the sweet warm fucking tree. The tree
gets better and better everyday. He goes at it again and afterwards
he can hardly walk.
The next day all he can think about is going back to the fucking
tree. Every tree that he cuts down is one less tree in his way of
the fucking tree. Finally the day is done and he takes off for the
fucking tree. He pulls out his dick, grabs hold of his dick and
shoves it in. Nothing.
The man is shocked. He tries again, but still nothing. Feeling
very frustrated, the man storms off to the foreman. "What's wrong
with the fucking tree?" the guy asks. "I've been there three times
already and it's been better each time, but today, I ran up to it,
stuck my dick in and nothing happened. What the hell happened?"
The foreman thought for a second and then said, "oh yeah, didn't
they tell you? Today's your day in the tree."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A teacher puts a photograph of a Tomcat on the blackboard,
and proceeds to ask the class, if they can tell her how the tail is
attached to the cat?
Little Mary has the first attempt and answers "By fur Miss?"
The teacher replies "Not quite right Mary, but a good try."
Meanwhile all during the lesson Little Johnny is sitting down the
back raising his hand in the air saying "Me, Miss! Me, Miss!"
The next student the teacher picks is Peter, and he answers
"Is it attached by skin Miss?"
The teacher replies..."Not quite right either, Peter...
anybody else want to try?"
Finally, the teacher had no choice but to pick Little Johnny. She
said to Johnny "What do you think the tail is attached by?"
Johnny replied, "Judging by the size of those nuts on the cat... I'd
say it would have to be bolted on!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Upon receipt of your information we will send you a complimentary
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Sincerely,
Thomas E. Kruse
President and Founder
Hoveround Corporation
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nothing Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A family went to the zoo one day. As they stopped
at the Elephant display, the father left to use the
bathrooms. While he was gone, the little girl asks
the mother, "Mamma, what's that thing hanging
from the elephant?"
Mother replies, " That's his trunk."
"No, mamma, that other thing"
The mother says, "Oh, that's his tail."
"NOOO, mamma, that OTHER thing!"
The mother notices the child is pointing
at the elephant's penis. She replies to her,
"Oh, that's nothing"
Later on, the family comes back by the
elephant display and the mother goes to
the bathrooms at this time. The little girl saw
and opportunity and ask her father, "Papa,
what's that thing hanging from the elephant?"
He explains, "That's his trunk."
"No, Papa, that other thing."
He said, "Oh that's his tail."
By this time the little girl is quite frustrated
and replies, NOOOO Papa, that OTHER thing!"
He notices she is pointing to his penis and replies,
"Oh that's his penis."
The child said, "But Papa, Momma said that's nothing."
The father looks at his daughter with a smile and replies, "That's
cause
your Mamma's spoiled."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Back To The 50's
http://silverandgol
John w/ You Don't Know Me
http://heavens-
Would You Care
http://www.shangral
Look who's Talking Too
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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Surfin Surfari
World's Largest Holes
http://www.Shangral
Fashion Police
http://www.thefashi
Above Top Secret
http://www.abovetop
Team USA
http://www.teamusa.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Online Backups
http://mozy.
Easy Screencast Recording & Sharing Via Wesley
http://goview.
Twittastic Free Download Via Wesley
http://twittastic.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.husky-
Zoo Animals!
http://www.shangral
Kitty Korner
http://www.pawpathl
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
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You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
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other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
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Movie Links
Get Flashed
http://www.buffalos
Little Brother
http://www.buffalos
Mohammed Brand Condoms
http://www.buffalos
Man In Line
http://www.buffalos
Mechanic
http://www.buffalos
He Is Alive
http://www.buffalos
Incident Action
http://www.buffalos
Italian Police Motorcycle Drill Team
http://www.buffalos
PD Budget
http://www.buffalos
Great tequila Commercials
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A tall man, over 6 feet 8 inches tall was at a function where a
young
woman was very much taken with him and trying hard to flirt with
him.
She kept making eyes at him and smiling and then she suddenly said
to
him. "Tell me, are you in proportion all over?"
To which he replied, "No unfortunately not; if I was, I would be 9
feet 10."
~~
Joe had been quite the ladies man and player all his life, but now
that he was getting up there in age, his doctor was getting
concerned
about him.
"Joe," advised the doctor, "I can add 15 more years to your life if
you will just quit your old routine of wine, women, and song."
Joe thought for a few minutes, then said, "Tell you what doc, I'll
settle for five more years and just give up singing."
~~~~~~~~~~
At the beauty parlor, I overheard the receptionist admit to another
customer, "I haven't taken my vitamins today . . . I'm walking
around
unprotected.
The customer commiserated with her. "I haven't taken my Prozac today
EVERYONE's walking around unprotected.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
bj sand art
http://www.buffalos
bj bar
http://www.buffalos
bj discount
http://www.buffalos
burger king
http://www.buffalos
black daddy
http://www.buffalos
blame
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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your bicycle, or even when you're hiking to keep other dogs and pets
safely away.
Learn More
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was an odious brute
Who made love in his Sunday-best suit.
The result, as you'd guess,
Was a wet, sticky mess,
And a very chaifed maiden to boot.
There was a young stud from Missouri
Who fucked with astonishing fury--
'Til taken to court
For his vigorous sport,
And condemned by a poorly-hung jury.
We have done it many ways
From the bed to a roll in the hay
But none have been sweeter
Than her sucking my peter
In the back of a new Chevrolet.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here's a solution to all the controversy over full-body scanners at
the airports. Have a booth that you can step into that will not
X-ray you,
but will detonate any explosive device you may have on you.
It would be a win-win for everyone, there would be none of this crap
about racial profiling and this method would eliminate a long and
expensive trial.
Justice would be quick and swift. Case Closed!
This is so simple that it's brilliant. I can see it now: you're in
the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly
thereafter
an announcement comes over the PA system,
"Attention standby passengers we now have a seat available on flight
number...
Harveythefrogprince
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1777
The Teaching of Val
Sandi is the Pack leader of the dogs so she trains Val within the
group.
Sandi realizes one day Val will be bigger and stronger than she so
she
must establish dominance and enforce rules immediately.
Val challenges Sandi... mistake..
Snap! Growl!
Val walks over to take a dog biscuit. Snap! Growl!
Sandi: You ask for permission first Val.
Val: May I have a dog biscuit?
Sandi: No.
Val: Why not?
Sandi: You forgot to say the magic words!
Val: Oh, yesl I am sorry.
Sandi: Sorry about what.
Val: I should have said, May I have a biscuit, please?
Sandi: Correct and the answer is No. You can think about your
error.
Val: Sigh....
Sandi: You will thank me one day for teaching you about restraint.
Val: Mumble mumble.
Sandi: What was that?
Val: Yes ma'am.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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