THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Love and Time: The only two things in all of life
and all the world that cannot be bought, but spent.
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
If you don't live life on purpose you live
life by accident. Why do some days feel like a
motorway pile up? It's because you haven't sorted
out your purpose yet. The highest purpose is always
giving, or serving others, without wanting anything
in return. This is why relaxation is always impossible
if we are always 'on the take'. There is an overall
purpose for your life, and each of the many
scenes which fill your day are opportunities
to serve your purpose. Take time to think deeply,
listen to your intuition, and with patience, the reason
why you are here, and what you uniquely have to give,
will occur to you. Then you can live your life 'on purpose'.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________
THE COMICS
what happens
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t040.html
too many beans
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t041.html
tailgater
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t042.html
inidividually wrapped
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t043.html
frustration
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t044.html
commandments
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t045.html
mean brew
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t046.html
your life
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t047.html
deforestation
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t048.html
rim job
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t049.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Budwieser
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9367.html
extra arm
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9368.html
just look at it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9369.html
the swimmer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9370.html
I can fly
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9371.html
the strong man
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9372.html
A local bean farmer was blessed with a wonderful crop
this fall. In fact he had so many beans, he needed to
unload them somehow. With all the hoopla about the upcoming
Super Bowl, he decided that would be a good venue to reach
more people. With this in mind he went to the local TV
station. The farmer said, "I would like to purchase a
minute or two during the Super Bowl to advertise my wonderful
beans. I have such a bountiful crop of beans of all kinds;
pinto beans, lima beans, navy beans, red beans..." The sales
manager said, "Ok, Ok, I get the message. And what would you
be able to pay for this amount of prime advertising time?"
The farmer scratched his beard, looked off, then said, very
solemnly, "I'd be willing to go as high as $300 to reach
those folks." "$300?" the manager yelled, "You must be out
of your mind!!! The current sponsors pay through the nose
to get the exposure of the Super Bowl! For example, the makers
of Kotex pay MILLIONS of dollars to reach the audience!"
The farmer very evenly replied, "I'm sure that's right.
But those people are out for blood! I'm just farting around."
____________
The drinker announced to the bartender, "It seems I've
been informally named advisor on 'Sexual Matters' at my company."
"That sounds interesting. Does this mean you'll be
counseling the big bosses on relations with their secretaries?"
"I'm not sure yet," he answered. "During a staff meeting,
I popped up to suggest a reduction in executive expense
accounts and it was after that I was told if they ever wanted
my fuckin' advice, they'd let me know."
_____________
A comely redhead was thrilled to have obtained a divorce and
dazzled by the skill and virtuosity of her lawyer, not to
mention his healthy income and good looks.
In fact, she realized, she had fallen head over heals in
love with him, even though he was a married man. "Oh, Sam,"
she sobbed at the conclusion of the trial, "isn't there some
way we can be together, the way we were meant to be?"
Taking her by the shoulders, Sam proceeded to scold her,
"Snatched drinks in grimy bars on the edge of town, lying
on the phone, hurried meetings in sordid motels rooms - is
that really what you want for us?"
"No, no..." she sobbed, heartsick.
"Oh," said the lawyer. "Well, it was just a suggestion."
_____________
This wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up a
dead sex-life.She puts them on, together with a short skirt
and sits on the over stuff chair.
At strategic moments she crosses and uncrosses her legs ... enough times
till her husband says,
"Are you wearing crotchless panties?"
"Yes," she answers.
"Thank goodness for that. I thought the stuffing was coming out of the
chair."
_____________
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a
curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact
words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you
man and wife."
____________
Three kids were bragging about how tough they were. "I'm so tough",
said the first little boy, "that I can wear out a pair of shoes
in a week." The second little boy said, "I'm so tough, I can wear
out a pair of jeans in a day." "That's nothing", said the third
child. "When my parents take me to see my Grandma and Grandpa,
I can wear them out in an hour."
______________
In the nightmare I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking
at a mirror on the ceiling, and I discovered that I am a Negro,
and I'm circumcised! Quickly I jumped up, found my pants and
looked in the pockets to find my driver's license photo and it
was that same color. Black. I felt myself being very depressed,
downcast, sitting in a chair. But it's a wheelchair!!
That means, of course, besides being black and Jewish, I'm also
disabled!!! I said to myself, aloud, "This is impossible.
It's impossible that I should be black and Jewish and disabled.'
"It's the pure and holy truth," whispers someone from behind me.
I turn around, and it's my boyfriend. Just what I needed!!!
I am a homosexual, and on top of that with a Mexican boyfriend.
Oh, my God..... Black, Jewish, disabled, gay, with a Mexican
boyfriend, drug addict, and HIV-positive!!!
Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, pull my hair, and OH,
noooooo...I' m Bald!!!
The telephone rings.It's my brother. He is saying,
"Since mom and dad died the only thing you do is hang out,
take drugs, and laze around all day doing nothing.
Get a job you worthless piece of crap... Any job."
Mom?... Dad?... Nooooooooo.. . Now I'm also an unemployed
orphan! I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to
find a job when you are black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a
Mexican boyfriend, are a drug addict, HIV-positive, bald and
an orphan. But he doesn't get it. Frustrated, I hang up.
It's then I realize I only have one hand!!! With tears in my
eyes I go to the window to look out. I see I live in a
shanty-town full of cardboard and tin houses! There is trash
everywhere. Suddenly I feel a sharp pain near my
pacemaker... Pacemaker?
Besides being black, Jewish, disabled, a fairy with a Mexican
boyfriend, a drug addict, HIV-positive, bald, orphaned,
unemployed, an invalid with one hand, and having a bad heart,
I live in a crappy neighborhood.
At that very moment my boyfriend approaches and says to me,
"Sweetiepie, my love, my little black heartthrob, have you decided
which innaugral party we are going to for Obama???"
Say it isn't so!!! I can handle being a black, disabled,
one armed, drug addicted, Jewish queer on a Pacemaker who is
HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, lives in a slum, and
has a Mexican boyfriend, but please, oh dear God, PLEASE!
Don't tell me I'm a DEMOCRAT....
_________
FUN PAGES
The Tudors
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41798&s=n
War on Terror
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41591&s=n
Balloon Eater
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38556&s=n
What Women Want
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=5081&s=n
___________
BUFFALO BILL
blowjob dog
http://www.buffaloschips.com/nvnncjvj.htm
blowjob means
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jjjvnnjd.htm
blue balls
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jfjskdfsl.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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