Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
No April Fool's jokes today just your list of reasons to party
through the month of April.
April 1 is One Cent Day
April 2 is National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day
April 3 is Tweed Day and Don't Go To Work Unless It's Fun Day
April 4 is Tell-A-Lie Day
April 5 is Go For Broke Day
April 6 is Sorry Charlie Day
April 7 is No Housework Day
April 8 is All Is Ours Day
April 9 is Winston Churchill Day and Name Yourself Day
April 10 is Golfers Day
April 11 is Eight-Track Tape Day
April 12 is Look Up At The Sky Day
April 13 is Blame Somebody Else Day
April 14 is National Pecan Day
April 15 is Rubber Eraser Day
April 16 is National Stress Awareness Day and National Eggs Benedict
Day
April 17 is National Cheese ball Day
April 18 is International Jugglers Day
April 19 is Garlic Day
April 20 is Look Alike Day
April 21 is Kindergarten Day
April 22 is National Jelly Bean Day
April 23 is Read Me Day and World Laboratory Animal Day
April 24 is National Pigs In A Blanket Day
April 25 is National Zucchini Bread Day
April 26 is Richter Scale Day and National Pretzel Day
April 27 is Tell A Story Day
April 28 is Great Poetry Reading Day and Kiss-Your-Mate Day
April 29 is National Shrimp Scampi Day
April 30 is National Honesty Day
Enjoy the chips and stay out of trouble.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Manure Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once upon a time there was a young redneck by the name of Jack. Jack
lived and worked on a farm with the farmer, the farmer's wife and
their
daughter Mabel.
One fine day as Jack was attending to his daily chores he saw Mabel
bending over to milk the cow. He felt himself become aroused for the
first time and, shocked, ran to find the farmer to explain this
strange
phenomena.
Upon finding the farmer he proceded to drop his trousers and whip
out
his stiff trouser snake much to the horror of the farmer.
"Farmer, farmer," Jack cried, "what is happening to my penis?"
"Now settle down and put that thing away." said the farmer.
"Don't worry about it. It happens to all men."
"But I don't like it!" cried Jack.
"Well then," said the farmer, "next time it happens just go into the
milk shed, get some cow shit and rub it on your dick. It'll go down
quick smart, trust me."
The next day Jack was passing by the house when he looked in and saw
the
farmers wife having a shower. Feeling his member getting hard he
rushed
into the cow shed, dropped his pants and picked up two handfulls of
shit. Just then Mabel walked into the shed.
"What are you doing Jack?" asked Mabel.
"Well," Jack replied,"I'm gonna rub this shit on my dick to make it
go
down."
"That would be a waste." Mabel said as she laid down on the ground
and
lifted her skirt. "Why don't you stick it up here?"
So he did. Both handfulls.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
birthday cake
http://www.thepostm
be patient Norman
http://www.thepostm
sorry ma'am
http://www.thepostm
Jeff Dunham - Classic Hertz Commericial
http://sydesjokes.
Jeff Dunham - Dead Terroist
http://sydesjokes.
Jeff Dunham - Road Kill Christmas
http://sydesjokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ass Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Over near England is a very little island, called the Isle of Man,
and a
very peculiar thing about the people, on this island is, that they
don't
believe in automobiles, and the climate is such that they can't keep
horses so they all have a donkey or what is commonly called an ass.
Some
have just ordinary asses that you wouldn't look at twice, others
have
extraordinary asses. The mayor has an ass that nobody looks at
twice,
but his wife has a beautiful ass. People who really know asses say
that
she has one of the finest asses that they have ever seen. Men often
stop
her on the way to the market to pat her ass. On Sunday they all go
to
church on their asses. Sometimes the girls ride the boys asses and
sometimes the boys ride the girls asses. Now of this particular
Sunday
the preacher had to leave immediately following the sermon so he
thought
he better have it handy, so he tied his ass just outside the window.
During the service a fire broke our and everyone ran to save his
ass.
The preacher jumped out of the window expecting to land on his ass,
but
there was a big hole and he fell into it. Which goes to show that
even a
preacher doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Screwed Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man goes into a store and starts looking around. He sees a washer
and
dryer, but there is no price listed on them. He asks the
salesperson,
"How much is the washer and dryer?"
"Five dollars for both of them," the sales guy says.
"Yeah right, you've got to be kidding me!" the man says.
"No, that's the price," the sales guy says, "Do you want to buy them
or
not?"
"Yeah, I'll take them," the man says. The man continues to look
around
and he sees a car stereo system with a detachable face cassette
player,
a CD changer, amplifier, speakers, and subwoofers.
"How much?" he asks.
"Five dollars for the system," the sales guy says.
"Is it stolen?" the guy asks.
"No," says the salesman, "It's brand new, do you want it or not?"
"Yes," the guy says. He looks around some more. Next he finds a
top-of-the-line
computer with printer and monitor.
"How much?" he asks.
"Five dollars," the salesman says.
"I'll take that too!" the man says.
As the salesperson is ringing up the purchases, the man asks him,
"Why are
your prices so cheap?"
The salesman says, "Well, the owner of the store is at my house
right now
with my wife. What he's doing to her, I'm doing to his business."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Orgreenic Kitchenware
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clone Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
From THE TONIGHT SHOW with JAY LENO
Clone Joke Lightning Round (December 9, 2001):
- What do you get when you cross Britney Spears with a sheep.
Virgin wool. (Note the date)
- What is a clone child's biggest fear.
I'm turning into my parents.
- Why would you clone Osama Bin Laden.
So you can kill him twice.
- Why did Kevin Eubanks have himself cloned.
So he could have someone to hold after sex.
- Why did Shaquille O'Neal have himself cloned.
So when he misses a free throw he'll get the rebound.
- What did Jesse Jackson say when he came out against cloning?
What fun is cloning without the moaning.
- What do you call a Backstreet Boys clone.
N'Sync.
- How can you tell a Michael Jackson clone is real.
'Cause the clone doesn't look anything like him.
- Why do the Detroit Lions want a clone?
So they would have somebody they could beat.
- What does a clone call a turkey baster, a microscope, and
tweezers?
A family reunion.
- Why is it easy for scientists to clone Hillary Clinton?
The eggs are already frozen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Family Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My husband and I had been married for about a year when my
brother-in-law, a career Navy man, stationed in Guam at the time,
called to tell us that he was marrying a Chinese- Malaysian girl he
met there. My mother-in-law flew to Guam for the wedding, and on her
return all she could talk about was how sweet and refined the girl
was and how careful we had to be when they came home for Christmas
not to offend her sensibilities. She was really worried about me, I
think, because she hadn't yet quite come to grips with the fact that
I hung out of helicopters with a camera and traveled with an all
male camera crew for a living. When they arrived for Christmas my
mother-in-law had a large reception for them and everything went
well until she ask her new daughter in-law how their trip to the
states went. Well, this lovely soft spoken girl, with the face of an
angel, l aunched into a story, in the finest navy language, with a
broken accent, I have ever heard. "Dat som-o-beech he fart on plane,
it smell sooo' bad all people have to move, den dat mudder-fucker he
jus' sit there an' laugh. I tell him, I keeck his ass but I afraid I
get sheet on my shoe!" My poor mother-in-law turned white, then red,
and every else tried to stifle giggles or act as if they didn't hear
it. Of course I, being devoid of any social graces, just roared and
hugged my new sister-in-law, while assuring her the gas problem ran
in the family. We have been great friends ever since, and my sweet
mother-in- law has finally gotten over the shock of it all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doors Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jim Morrison is in one corner of a hotel with
the rest of his band. In another corner are
John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George
Harrison and Ringo Starr - and all are naked!
A beautiful woman walks in, drops to her knees
in front of Jim Morrison and begins to play the
pink oboe. She swallows nicely then starts on
his guitarist, then his drummer, and then the
keyboard player. When she is finished, she
licks her lips, wanders over to John Lennon,
and begins to do the same to him.
At that moment, there is a huge crash and Robert
De Nero smashes through a wall in a Mini-Cooper.
He jumps out, grabs her by the scruff of the neck
and shouts, "You bloody fool, you are only
supposed to blow the Doors off!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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over and over, they are so durable we guarantee your ShamWows for 10
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/My Walk With Sam
http://silverandgol
Rick w/ Easter Blessings
http://www.wtv-
A Pocket Full Of Gold (Short Easter Story)
http://www.loratrue
Carol w/Dance Of Love
http://www.carolspo
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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Surfin Surfari
Niburu
http://www.detailsh
Great Chopper Footage
http://www.youtube.
Proud Of Our Troops
http://www.shangral
Small Thoughts
http://www.Shangral
USS New York LPD-21 Tribute
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
PCWin Speaker Record
http://www.frontier
Acid Fonts
http://www.acidfont
Crazy Fonts
http://www.wtv-
Data-File editor - Linux Via Wesley
http://www.icewalke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.wonderpu
Kitty Korner
http://www.renaesro
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
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you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
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You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
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Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
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Movie Links
Tricky Chick
http://www.buffalos
Vizella
http://www.buffalos
Water park
http://www.buffalos
Well Trained Dog
http://www.buffalos
We've Been Had
http://www.buffalos
Hand Boeienin Bed
http://www.buffalos
Hill Climb
http://www.buffalos
Honey
http://www.buffalos
How The Brits Taxi Jets
http://www.buffalos
Idiots
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
SOB Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A scantily dressed girl goes to confession,
and tells the Priest
"Father,I called a man a son-of-a-bitch yesterday."
"Why did you call him a son-of-a-bitch?
the priest asked.
"Because, father, he touched me on my arm without "
"Do you mean like this?" He touches her arm.
"Yes, father."
"That's no reason for calling him a son-of-a-bitch.
"But father he also touched my breasts.
"You mean like this?" He touches her breasts.
"Yes, father."
"That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch.
"But father, he took off my clothes."
"Like this?" He takes off her clothes.
"Yes, father."
"That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch.
"But father he then puts his you-know-what in my you-know-
where." "Like this?" He puts his you-know-what in her you-know-
where. "Y-Y-Yes father," she says sometime later. "But that's no
reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch.
Herpes." "THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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producing your own hybrids
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
batgirl
http://www.buffalos
bmw
http://www.buffalos
bmw incentive
http://www.buffalos
boat
http://www.buffalos
Bobbitt
http://www.buffalos
body language
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young person named Willie
Whose actions were what you'd call silly;
He went to a ball
Dressed in nothing at all
Pretending to represent Chile.
____________
There was a young man named Ringer,
Who was seducing a beautiful singer.
He said with a grin,
"I've now rammed it in!"
She said, "You mean that isn't your finger?"
____________
A Man shouts to his wife,
Come here and look at my clock
She walks in to find him naked with a hard on
She says that's not a clock
He says it will be when you put two hands and a face on it..
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Audrey just managed to squeeze into the crowded subway train. She
was
dying to get off her feet but, of course, there were no vacant
seats.
The man sitting directly in front of her had a kind face, which
prompted her to say, "I beg your pardon, but I wonder if you'd mind
letting me sit down? You see, I'm going to have a baby." "But of
course," said the kind gent, as he traded places. After a few
minutes, he addressed her as follows: "I'm a family man and can
appreciate your feelings. By the way, when is the blessed event
expected?" "In nine months," she said, "and brother, am I tired!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Martha recently lost her husband.
She had him cremated and brought his ashes home.
Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio
table..
Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to
him....
You know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the
insurance money!"
She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said,
"Remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the
insurance money!"
Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in
the ashes she said,
"Remember that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it too, with the
insurance money!"
Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, She said, "Remember
that blow job I promised you?" "Here it comes."
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1559
Katie...a Memory (2003)
Diana: I so glad you invited me over to watch a movie tonight.
BJ: I am happy you came over. I hope Katie is on her best
behavior.
In the house they go...
To find ... a mess... A twelve pack of paper towels have been ripped
open and dispersed thoroughly through the house.
Diana: I am so sorry BJ.
BJ: Katie is just a dog. I am sure there is a lesson here.
From Katie's point of view........
The Care and Feeding Of Humans
By Katie Kassity
Humans are so untrainable, we must do our best to train them.
When they buy things, they do not put them away, so it is out duty
to show them the error of their ways. It is tough love. I had to
disperse a twelve pack of paper towels, a cheap lesson to be sure
and it was no great act of malice on my part. I had to try and
teach
my human there is a place for everything and everything has it's
place.
I am sure he will thank me some day for this lesson.
Opps, I have to run, I see where he left some food on the counter
another no no.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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