Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Another week behind us. I am really enjoying Facebook as a
method of sending messages to friends and connecting with
those I hadn't heard from in a long time. Maybe someday I will
have the time to build a farm, become a mob boss, or run a
restaurant so the items you offer or at this time of no use to
me. It is interesting when I have the time to glance through your
interests and wonder why the cute girl is offering me a case
of Claymore mines and the 7 foot tall biker is sending me a jeweled
Easter egg.
I hope you are enjoying the slightly smaller Chips and Clean Chips.
I don't miss the extra ads in the least and we pulled a lot of what
we referred to as random chips.
Nancy has been working over in buffalosjokes, our other website
and has a lot of the pages rebuilt and back working again. We have
new movies on both sites to be put up so we are looking at more
interesting material in the near future.
A welcome back today to BJ Cassady and his column. We have been
running issues from the archives while he had his knees replaced.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Fast Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up
next to a doctor at a street light.
The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks,
' What kind of car ya got there, sonny ?'
The doctor replies, ' A Ferrari GTO.
It cost half a million dollars ! '
' That's a lot of money,' says the old man.
' Why does it cost so much?'
' Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour !' states the
doctor proudly.
The Moped driver asks, 'Mind if I take a look inside ?'
' No problem,' replies the doctor.
So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then,
sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, ' That's a pretty nice
car, all right... but I'll stick with my Moped !'
Just then the light changes, So the doctor decides to show
The old man just what his car can do.
He floors it, and within 30 seconds
The speedometer reads 160 mph.
Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be
getting closer !
He slows down to see what it could be And suddenly HOOOOSSSHHH !
Something whips by him going much faster !
' What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari ?' the doctor
asks himself.
He presses harder on the accelerator
And takes the Ferrari up to 250 mph.
Then, up ahead of him, He sees that it's the old man on the Moped !
Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari , he gives it more gas
And passes the Moped at 275 mph And he's feeling pretty good until
he looks in his mirror and sees
the old man gaining on him AGAIN !
Astounded by the speed of this old guy, He floors the gas pedal and
takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph.
Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again !
The Ferrari is flat out, And there's nothing he can do !
Suddenly, the Moped plows Into the back of his Ferrari,
Demolishing the rear end.
The doctor stops and jumps out and unbelievably the old man is still
alive.
He runs up to the banged-up old guy and says, ' I'm a doctor.... Is
there anything I can do for you ?'
The old man whispers, ' Unhook my suspenders from your side view
mirror! '.
Harveythefrogprince
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
an acquired taste
http://www.thepostm
waste of money
http://www.thepostm
coroners office
http://www.thepostm
London Dungeon
http://sydesjokes.
Long Tongue
http://sydesjokes.
Looking For My Wallet And Car Keys
http://sydesjokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
iPad Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the eve of the marketing campaign for his new invention, Apple
president Steve Jobs was discussing it with his top associate. Steve
was just finishing up a rundown of the iPad's features when he
noticed a look of concern on the associate's face.
"What's wrong?" Steve asked.
"It's the name, iPad," the associate hesitantly said.
"What about the name?" Steve asked.
"It... well," the associate stammered out, "It kind of sounds like a
feminine hygiene product."
"What?" Steve wailed, "You think it sounds like a feminine hygiene
product? That's ridiculous! It does not sound like a feminine
hygiene
product! The name starts with an 'i'! It sounds like a computer!
Don't be stupid!"
"I'm sorry," said the associate, shrinking back a little.
"Oh, OK, don't worry about it," Steve said. "Now, listen.
Marketing,"
he continued. "I've come to the conclusion that the price tag of my
iPad is out of many people's price range, so I've decided to offer a
smaller version for a cheaper price."
"That's good," said the associate. "So you'll have two versions - a
smaller one and a larger one. What will they be called?"
Steve replied, "The smaller version will be called the Mini iPad and
the larger version will be called the Maxi iPad."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young lady went to a dance, and she had a low-cut, strapless gown
on. Around her neck she wore a little golden airplane on a long
chain. All night she noticed a young man, staring at her.
In her embarrassment, she held up the airplane and said, "Oh, you
like my airplane, huh?"
The young man smiled mischievously. "No ma'am, I was just admiring
the landing field."
Nadine: Were your parents upset when you got a divorce?
Jill: Well, you know how parents are. My mother said, "SO!
Is this how it's going to be? Just one man after another..for the
rest of your life?"
Nadine: Typical! What did you tell her?
Jill: I said, "Gee, I hope so!"
During a university course in human sexuality, the instructor was
discussing various items in the Kinsey report.
The class members gasped audibly when the instructor read out that a
woman had several hundred orgasms in a single session.
A male voice said, "Wow, who was she?"
A female voice followed with, "The hell with her...Who was HE?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tarzan Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tarzan and his new homosexual lover, Homo-boy (Jane left him and
returned to England) are traveling through the jungle when they are
suddenly attacked by a troop of savage Baboons. In the ensuing
fight they get separated. As Tarzan fights some of the attackers
off, his cowardly homosexual lover clings gingerly to a thin tree
branch, barely out of reach of the rest of the savage, attacking
Baboons.
After Tarzan has vanquished those Baboons confronting him, he turns
just in time to see his new lover's tree branch begin to break.
Thinking quickly, Tarzan leaps for a vine and swings precariously
towards his newfound sweetheart, Homo-boy.
As he nears him, Tarzan yells, "Grab the vine, Homo-boy, grab the
vine!"
Homo-boy, reaches out as Tarzan swings by... Homo-boy makes a quick
grab.
Suddenly, Tarzan screams, "Aaiiieeeeeeeee!
THE VINE!"
From that day forth, Tarzan was the best-hung male in the jungle...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shot Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This beautiful young Polish chick walks into the health clinic and
begins to talk to the nurse. "Excuse me, ma'am, is this where I can
get a vassilation?
"I think you mean you need a vaccination,
"Yeah, whatever. Just don't give it to me on my arm because I wear
a sleepless nightgown."
"You mean a sleeveless nightgown?"
"Yeah, whatever. And don't give it to me on my thigh because I have
a zucchini bathing suit."
"You mean a bikini?"
"Yeah, ok. And don't give it to me on my virginia."
"You mean your vagina?"
"All right!!" shouts the Polish girl. "Virginia, vagina, just as
long as I don't get small cox!!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Prayer For A Friend
http://silverandgol
In My Life
http://www.reflecti
Birth Of An Island
http://www.shangral
Dede w/The Daffodil Principle
http://dedeswalkwit
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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Surfin Surfari
Subway and Bus Directions
http://www.hopstop.
Comics Worth Reading
http://www.i-
The Best Times to Buy Anything, All Year Round Via Dianne
http://tinyurl.
Gasoline Price Humor
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
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As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv) Via Wesley
Scanning Tips
http://www.scantips
Animated Preloader Maker
http://preloaders.
Create Your Own Unlimited Forum
http://www.forumoti
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.caninega
Kitty Korner
http://www.obliquit
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Movie Links
Beer By the Pool
http://www.buffalos
How To Put On a Bra
http://www.buffalos
Knife Guy
http://www.buffalos
Ladder
http://www.buffalos
Never Trust a Woman
http://www.buffalos
Bud Light Cat
http://www.buffalos
Bud Light Frisbee
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Bud Ads
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Buddy Greene Harmonica
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Bud Light Clown
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Milk Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Notes to the Milkman
"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one."
Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk."
Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it"
Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds
keep pecking the tops off the milk."
Milkman. please could I have a loaf but not bread today."
Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a
baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks."
Sorry about yesterdays note. I didn't mean one egg and a
dozen pints, but the other way round."
When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake
me because I want you 'to give me a hand to turn the mattress.
Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last nights
Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened."
My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it
before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle."
Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby
two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me."
Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it."
From now on please leave two pints every other day and one
pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays
when I don't want any milk."
My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get
money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen
table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight."
Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean
tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday."
When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler,
let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door.
PS. Don't leave any milk.
No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he
is dead until further notice."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
American Beauty
http://www.buffalos
First Time
http://www.buffalos
See you in Hell
http://www.buffalos
Cant Tell
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Sincerely,
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President and Founder
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There Was A Young Man From Australia,
Who Went On A Wild Bacchanalia.
He Buggered A Frog,
Two Mice And A Dog,
And A Bishop In Fullest Regalia.
A Young Bride And Groom Of Australia,
Remarked As They Joined Genitalia:
Though The System Seems Odd,
We Are Thankful That God
Developed The Class Mammalia.
There was an old man from Australia
Who painted his arse like a dahlia.
The colors were fine,
Likewise the design,
The aroma, alas, was a failure.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He
says
to her, "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100
dollars?
"Are you nuts? !!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns
around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she
does.
"Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?" he asks
again.
"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?" So the guy runs
around the next block and faces her again. "Would you let me bite
your
breasts just once for $10,000 dollars?"
She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmm, $10,000 dollars,
eh?
Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over
there."
So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal
the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he
grabs
them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them,
licking them, burying his face in them, but not biting them.
The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are you gonna bite
them
or not?"
"Nah", he replies. "Costs too much..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1770
Dad's Surgery
Rudy: Knee replacement huh?
BJ: Yeah.
Sandi: So what kind of knee do they put in?
BJ: I am not certain, it might be a metal one or a plastic one.
Katie: Kool, maybe one like in Robocop.
Katie walks around like a robot...
Diana: Come on guys we need to head for the hospital.
Later after the surgery.... The dogs are huddled around dad in his
room.
Sandi: Feeling better?
BJ: It hurts like the devil to be honest.
Rudy: I don't understand. You do something to make you feel better
and it hurts worse.... bipeds.
Diana: He will feel better, it will take time that is all.
Katie: How much time, a day, two days.
Diana: About six months.
Katie: That is forever!!!
To be continued
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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