Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Those of you that are memebers of Nerdy Buffalo have already seen
this but Nancy thought it would be a good read for all.
We have a little lull in the computer problems at the moment but are
there forces at work inside your mailbox trying to take over your
network email account?
We probably have all seen at least one of these lately, an email
from someone we know to about ten of their friends with no subject
line or the name of the person as a subject. When you open the email
you find a url to a website like site google and if you click on it
and you are lucky the worst you will get is a Viagra ad but it just
as easy for them to rig the site with malware downloads like
antivirus 2010.
This started out a few years back when people were hacking
Yahoo mails to steal choice addresses and after their methods were
posted on you tube spammers started hacking hotmail email accounts
last winter and then more recently AOL, and within the past week
Yahoo accounts.
There has also been a revival of a scam from last year where a
person hacks into your email and changes passwords so you cannot
check your email. They then send emails out to everyone in your
address book saying that you were on vacation out of the country and
that you have lost or been robbed of everything except your
passport and need thousands of dollars to get out of your
predicament. If the person sends an email to inquire about the
circumstances the hacker answers as you and has money wired to the
foreign country where armed with a false ID he can claim the money
from
however many people care for you. Several herd members were hacked
the first time this went around but one of Nancy's neighbors just
got hit a few days ago.
You can improve your odds against being hacked with a strong
password but it doesn't have to be hard to remember. Let's say
for example your name is Dave Jones. You can strengthen security by
using upper and lower case letters so we will try DaVeJoNeS
which is a step up from davejones which is rated weak by Microsoft
https://www.
With the DaVeJoNeS it rises to medium security which means that no
one will accidentally guess your password even if they know you but
it would not stop a hacker so lets go up one more step. We can
add number and symbols from the top row of keys to help strengthen
the password so we add a number to our medium password and dave
likes 7 so we get DaVe7JoNeS. Adding that one number makes
our password in the strong category.
Now we will take Dave's password and we will add a few symbols in
this case an asterisk in front and one in back or &*DaVe7JoNeS*
along with two ampersands and our password becomes very strong
and hard to crack.
http://www.password
check your passwords but even with the Microsoft site I would send
them a slightly altered password then what you intend to use because
it is always safer to trust no one.
Feel free to share this with your friends because if I can stop one
person from being hacked I consider it well worth the time it took
me to write it down.
buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Disney Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This just in:
Disney to hold press conference at 10:00 a.m. tomorrow. Word on
the street is that Disney will apologize for the Seven Dwarfs
singing "Hi Ho, Hi Ho" in the movie Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Disney plans to remove all items, currently for sale, associated
with this movie. This includes books, dolls, and movies.
Later in the week the Seven Dwarfs will appear on the Al Sharpton
radio show to apologize and undergo a 7 hour grilling.
Jesse Jackson has not been contacted for comment on this. His
office stated that he and his personal secretary were attending a
meeting in the Bahamas .
However, people at PUSH hinted that a large protest is being
scheduled at Disney World.
Snow White could not be reached for comment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
ah that feels good
http://www.thepostm
bad elastic
http://www.thepostm
candid camera trick at the ice rink
http://www.thepostm
Ladder Race
http://sydesjokes.
Lake Delton Flooding
http://sydesjokes.
Lake Peigneur - Salt Mine Flood
http://sydesjokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Skin Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you know that you can tell from the skin whether a person is
sexually active or not.
1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when woman
make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which make
hair shiny and skin smooth.
2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering
dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses
the pores and makes your skin glow.
3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that
romantic dinner.
4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and
tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable
than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!
5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases the body
endorphin into the bloodstream, producing a sense of e! uphoria and
leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually
active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called
pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
7. Sex is the safest tranquiliser in the world. IT IS
10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.
8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages
saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid
that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release
the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
10. Alot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a national
antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever. ENJOY
SEX!!!!!!!!!
Good Sex *> This message has been sent to you for good luck in sex.
The original is in a room in Palaiseau. It has been sent around the
world nine times. Now the sex has! been sent to you. The "Hot Sex
Fairy" will visit you with in f our days of receiving this message,
provided you, in turn, send it on. If you don't then you will never
receive good sex again for the rest of your life.
You will eventually become celibate, and your genitals will rot and
all off.
This is no joke! Send copies to people you think need sex (who
doesn't?)
Don't send money, as the fate of your genitals has no price. Do not
keep this message.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Barbie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rug Burn Barbie: Comes with raspberries on knees and buttocks.
Lactating Barbie: To be released nine months after Rug Burn Barbie.
Butch Barbie: Comes with short hair and big fingers.
Strap on Barbie: To be used with Butch Barbie.
Backdoor Barbie: Comes locked in one position with small bottle of
K-Y Jelly.
Crack Whore Barbie: Comes with track marks, cold sores, and matted
hair.
Body Piercing Barbie: Comes with optional labia rings
(also available in two-pack with Crack Whore Barbie.
Oral Barbie: Comes with a permanent expression of surprise.
And the number one Barbie I'd like to see on shelves in time for the
holiday season:
S & M Barbie: Comes with retractable whip sticking out of her ass.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gator Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man walks into a bar, with a huge alligator on a leash. He walks
over to the bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says "Sorry sir.
You can't bring that alligator in here! It's a dangerous animal, and
you're scaring all of the patrons!" Sure enough. The man looked
around and noticed that everyone was standing on the tables, looking
very nervous. "But wait!" he cried. "This alligator is tame. It
wouldn't hurt anyone." However, the bartender is adamant. The man
continues, "If I can prove that t his alligator is not vicious, can
he stay?" "Well, I guess so," says the bartender, "however, you're
going to have a devil of a time proving to everyone here that your
alligator is tame!"
The man smiles, and leans over the alligator. "Ralph!" he shouts.
"Sit up." With that, he beats the alligator on the head with his
fist. BANG. BANG. BANG. And the alligator rears up on its tail.
"Ralph, open your mouth." BANG. BANG. BANG.
And the alligator opened its huge mouth wide, revealing row upon row
of gleaming white teeth. The man pulls out his penis, and lays it in
the alligator's mouth, as the entire bar crowd gasps. "Ralph! Close
your mouth, but don't bite." BANG. BANG. BANG.
As the man pummels the alligator on the head, the giant mouth slowly
closes, and stops just short of biting the guy's penis off. The
crowd sighs, and the man says, "Ralph, open your mouth." BANG. BANG.
BANG. The alligator's mouth opens wide again.
"There," says the man to the crowd. "Now would anyone else like to
try this?" A blonde in the back says, "Yeah, I'll try. But only if
your promise not to hit me on the head so hard."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Turbo Snake
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View Website
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Billy Bob and Lester were talking one afternoon when Billy
Bob tells Lester, "Ya know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation.
Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few
years, I took your suggestions as to where to go. Three years ago
you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Betty Sue got
pregnant.
Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Betty Sue
got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if
Betty Sue didn't get pregnant again."
Lester asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's
different?"
Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Betty Sue WITH me."
******
Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911-operator
told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you
live?" asked the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus
Drive." The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?" After a
long pause, Bubba said, "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak Street and
you pick her up there?"
******
Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee
to 32?
They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
******
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi? Documentaries.
******
Where was the toothbrush invented?
Arkansas. If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been
called a teethbrush.
******
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery?
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
*******
A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so that
when a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.
******
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in
Florida have in common? No matter what, somebody's fixin' to lose a
trailer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Kangaroo Keeper
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View Website
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva w/Washday
http://silverandgol
Keukenhof Gardens!
http://www.shangral
From Russia With Love
http://www.shangral
Sandy w/Beautiful Friends
http://www.sandyswo
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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Surfin Surfari
Toothpick Art Sculptures Via Dianne
http://www.landmark
Fashion Designer Game
http://www.y8.
Create a new caricature
http://www.magixl.
Zip Code Finder
http://www.zipskinn
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Generate Random Nonsense Posters
http://www.typogene
new all-time high score ( asteroids ) Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.
what those error messages really mean
http://tinyurl.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone Bo
http://www.msnbc.
Kitty Korner
http://www.freddie-
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Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
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Movie Links
6664
http://www.buffalos
AA.WMVPV
http://www.buffalos
Achmed Jingle Bombs
http://www.buffalos
AH L'Amour
http://www.buffalos
Amy G. Kazochee
http://www.buffalos
Bad To The Bone
http://www.buffalos
Max Porta Potty
http://www.buffalos
McDogo
http://www.buffalos
McElway Basketball
http://www.buffalos
Men Can't Multitask
http://www.buffalos
Men Invented Everything
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
School Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Top Ten Signs Your Kid's School Is Too Crowded
10. Kid comes home happy saying, "I got to ride inside the bus
today!"
9. Principal sends you a warning -- he's not skipping class
enough
8. Teacher needs a U-Haul to bring home the book reports
7.Losing 60 to 70 kids on class trip is considered "successful"
6.School play is "The Ten Commandments"
play
all 100,000 Hebrews
5. Class photo taken using government weather
satellite
4. The teacher calls out, "Gus Van Rauschenbach" and 17
kids say, "Here"
3. Last spring's school bake sale brought in one
and a quarter million
2. There's a waiting list to get your ass
kicked by the school bully
1. The kids actually outnumber the
roaches.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
baboons
http://www.buffalos
bed
http://www.buffalos
beer goggles
http://www.buffalos
before sex
http://www.buffalos
bitchin head
http://www.buffalos
bite my ass
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Space Bag To Go - Pack 2x more anywhere you go.
Space Bag To Go is perfect for planes, hiking, camping, watersports,
and vacation. Compress, protect, and organize to avoid paying extra
baggage fees. Now you will be able to keep your things airtight and
water proof only to reuse again.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young lassie from Morton,
who had one long tit and one short 'en,
on top of all that,
a great hairy twat,
and a fart like a six fifty Norton.
There once was a Playboy Bunny
Who had a pretty blond cunnie
She'd jump straight to bed
Her legs she would spread
With a cunt that tasted like honey
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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-Calms Your Dog
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-Works Indoors or Outdoors
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bill decided to try his hand at a new job and secured one as a used
car salesman. He had no experience in this field but he figured he
could use the old sales pitch that the car was "like brand-new" and
had only been driven by a little old lady on Sundays.
He tried that approach on every prospective buyer but none seemed to
believe him and no sales were made that day. The following day he
decided to change his sales pitch and sure enough he sold three
cars. The manager of the used car dealership called him over and
asked what he had done to bring about all these sales.
Bill grinned, "Well they didn't believe my little old lady story, so
I told them that the car had previously been owned by a nymphomaniac
who only used the back seat."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rainbow Peppers - Grow 5 Different Colored Peppers on 1 Plant
You can enjoy Rainbow Peppers at any stage and experience all the
incredible sweet tastes of all the individual flavors. Make colorful
and flavorful meals with black, violet, yellow, orange and red
peppers.
Why pay supermarket prices when you can grow delicious peppers on
your own. Each plant can produce up to 30 peppers.
Buy 3 Rainbow Pepper plants and get 3 Big Bertha plants on us.
Learn More
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1570
Kamping
Darkness falls..
BJ is in his pup tent with Sandi snuggled up.
BJ: I guess Katie and Rudy are still running around.
Sandi: I guess so. Could you hand me another potato chip daddy?
BJ: With dip?
Sandi: Naturally.
BJ: Here you go.
Munch munch...
BJ: It is late. Let's go outside and see if we can find this
rascals.
Sandi: Okay.
Outside they wander around to no avail.
BJ: Maybe they are in Katie's tent.
They enter Katie's tent and see the tent has carpeted floor, air
conditioning. Rudy is sitting in a recliner watching a 60" plasma TV
while Katie is lounging on a couch.
Rudy: Yeah, I can dig camping.
Katie rings a bell: Horace could you bring some more bubbly and
some caviar please.
Horace: Right away ma'am.
Katie: This is the life.
To be continued
The Herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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