Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Urban Legends have been around for years in the Navy, we
just call them Sea Stories. Between tradition and the military's
way of doing things a lot different than common sense would
dictate it is hard to tell what is true and what is a story.
When I was in school in Philadelphia in 1972, one of the other
students who had come from the fleet was telling me a story
about the USS Saratoga CVA-60. She had gotten the nickname
the Sinking Sixty because she supposedly had sunk at the dock
in Spain while on a Med. cruise. The salvage crew had chosen
someone from the fireroom crew who was not a diver to go down
and help them locate the necessary valves to stop the flooding
and drain the space. It was a good story but I always wondered
if it was true and recently in a Navy group I threw out the story
to see if anyone else had heard it being unable to find anything
in a search.
This is what someone found.
http://www.navysite
October 14, 1958 Jacksonville, Fla. An explosion floods the
engineering room of SARATOGA at Jacksonville, Florida.
August 15, 1971 Athens, Greece USS SARATOGA suffers flooding in an
engine room while anchored off Athens, Greece.
August 20, 1971 eastern Mediterranean SARATOGA suffers another
engine room flood shortly after leaving Athens, Greece, where repair
from a similar flood of August 15 just was completed.
Considering the carriers have a 30 ft draft it is easy to see
how flooding would put her on the bottom in a shallow harbor
and three times would qualify to get yourself a nickname.
She was scheduled to be sunk in an exercise but instead has
been placed on donation hold. If your city has the money for a
museum weighing 80,000 tons with it's own airport contact the
Navy.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~
YOUR MOM OR DAD NEEDS YOUR HELP?
Are you trying to decide between a Retirement Community or a Nursing
Home? Maybe you're considering assisted living or many of the other
possibilities to make your loved one more comfortable, productive
and happy.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE. WE CAN HELP.
At "A Place For Mom," we specialize in providing elder care advice
from professional advisors. Come take a look for yourself.
* 100% FREE Information
* Trained professionals who want to help
* Fast, Convenient, and Easy
Simply click or copy-paste the link below into your internet
browser...
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three Hells Angels are sitting at a table in a transport cafe when
in walks a nun, takes a seat next to them and begins to eat.
Astonished, one of them says, "I went to my parents wedding last
week and we all got wasted." The nun continues to eat even though
she obviously heard the exchange. Being quick on the uptake the
second one says, "My dad says he will marry my mother next year."
Despite this the nun stays right where she is. Eager to get a
response from the nun, the third one says, "My old man will never
EVER marry my mother!" The nun looks up from her food and says,
"Would one of you fucking bastards please pass the salt?"
An old Italian couple is walking around in the mall.
After a while they get separated so the woman goes up to the first
saleswoman she sees and asks, "Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony.
He's got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?" The
saleswoman answers that she hasn't seen her husband. So the Italian
woman goes to ask another saleswoman: "Escusa me, have you senn-a me
Tony. He's got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?" "No,
I'm sorry maam, I haven't seen your husband." The Italian woman goes
to see one more saleswoman and asks, "Escusa me, have you senn-a me
Tony. He's got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?" The
saleswoman answers, "Yes I saw him, he ran out of here
licketysplit.
grab-a the breasts...but he no lickety split!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
outsourcing
http://www.thepostm
my wife
http://www.thepostm
oops
http://www.thepostm
Levis Commercial
http://sydesjokes.
Levitating Water
http://sydesjokes.
Licking Copy Machine
http://sydesjokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner
with her parents. This being a big event, the girl tells her
boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and "do it"
for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done
it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some
protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells
the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he'd like to
buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the
family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his
first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent's house and meets
his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my
parents, come on in." The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner
table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to
say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy still deep
in prayer with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement
from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the
girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, "I had no idea
you were so religious." The boy turns and whispers back, "I had no
idea your father was a pharmacist."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hoveround has been helping people regain their mobility for over 17
years and we want to help you get your independence back. We
believe that everyone should be free to get out and explore the
world, even if they're on a tight budget.
Did you know that 9 out of 10 Hoveround owners got their power
wheelchair at little to no cost*? It's true! There are no claim
forms to fill out and no upfront costs if you qualify.
Get your Complimentary Information Kit here:
http://buffaloschip
Upon receipt of your information we will send you a complimentary
no-obligation information kit with DVD. Once again, there are no
costs to qualify. Don't wait to regain your mobility and your
freedom - ACT NOW because life in a Hoveround is BETTER ALL AROUND.
Sincerely,
Thomas E. Kruse
President and Founder
Hoveround Corporation
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bull Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a farmer who had a brown cow and a white cow
and he wanted to get them bred, so borrowed his neighbor's
bull and turned it loose in the pasture.
He told his son to watch and come in and tell him
when the bull was finished.
"Yeah daddy, yeah daddy," said the little boy.
After a while the boy came into the living room where his father was
talking with some friends. "Say, Pop," said the boy. "Yes," replied
his father. "The bull just screwed the hell out of the brown cow."
There was a sudden lull in the conversation. The father said "Excuse
me" and took his son outside. "Son, you mustn't use language like
that in front of company. You should say 'The bull surprised the
brown cow'. Now go and watch and tell me when the bull surprises the
white cow."
The father went back inside the house.
After a while the boy came in and said,
"Hey, Daddy."
"Yes, son. Did the bull surprise the white cow?"
"He sure did, Pop!
He screwed the hell out of the brown cow again!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Get Your Guide for Active Women with Osteoporosis-
Plus get Exclusive Access to Savings-Coupons- Rebates
From Your Favorite Brands, Delivered to Your Inbox
Includes Expert Advice-Videos-
Health Tips-Delicious Recipes-and Much More!
Don't Let Osteoporosis Restrict Your Lifestyle
Get the Valuable Tools to Manage It & Stay Active!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bill Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nick the Dragon Slayer had a long-standing obsession to
nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts, but he knew the
penalty for this would be death. One day he revealed his secret
desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's
chief doctor. Horatio the Physician exclaimed that he could arrange
for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost
him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause, Nick the Dragon
Slayer readily agreed to the scheme.
The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder
and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed.
Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon
being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident,
Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a
special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of
itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the
Dragon Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the itch. The King
quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician then
slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder,
which he quickly put it into his mouth, and for the next four hours,
Nick worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent
breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the
Dragon Slayer left satisfied and touted as a hero.
Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio
the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his
obsession now satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared
less, and knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this
matter to the King shooed him away with no payment made.
The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the
same itching powder into the King's loincloth. The King immediately
summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer...
The Moral of the Story: Pay your bills.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Get Free Coupons and Huge Rewards! Join FREE
Shop Your Favorite Brands Online and Earn Points
Redeem Points for Gift Certificates & Gifts Cards at Your Favorite
Merchants
Plus Daily Deals-Games-
You Already Shop, NOW Save Money and Get Rewarded When You Do It!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I ever got a dog, I'd name it Nipples. I'd let him run away on
purpose, just so I could go around asking people, "Have you seen my
Nipples?" Sure, it'd probably get confusing with the double meaning
and everything, but, come on man, that's the whole point.
"Mom, hey, Mom! Lennie passed his bar exam so we're going to get
married next week!" The bride-to-be was ecstatic. "Gee, honey, don't
you think you two should wait till he's been practicing for a year
or so?" cautioned her mother. "Oh Mom," said the bride with a blush,
"we've been practicing."
Now that they are retired, my mother and father are discussing all
the aspects of their future. "What will you do if I die before you
do?" Dad asked Mom. After some thought, she said that she'd probably
look for a house-sharing situation with three other single or
widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she
is so active for her age. Then Mom asked Dad, "What will you do if I
die first?" He replied, "Hell, probably the same thing."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are you tired of paying fees for that timeshare you never use?
We have the solutions for you!
- No false promises
- No obligation consultation
- No hassle
- No more fees
Our trained professionals will help you get the CASH for your
timeshare fast!
Click to get started:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A New Life
http://www.silveran
tml
Cowboy Comforts
http://home.
Chainsaw Wood Carving
http://www.shangral
Junkyard Art
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Chernobyl Tour
http://www.grcade.
Egg Trick
http://www.recipese
Famous Birthdays
http://www.famousbi
stuck at promR contestant photo gallery Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
"SIGS 4 U" by SCARLET
http://scarletimage
Graphics
http://www.angelfir
Add Google Search to your Right Click Menu Via Wesley
http://www.kwiclick
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.youtube.
Kitty Korner
http://www.wtv-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.
You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Mouse in Her Bra
http://www.buffalos
Movie
http://www.buffalos
Movie 1
http://www.buffalos
High Fireman
http://www.buffalos
Milt Show
http://www.buffalos
Lucky 2
http://www.buffalos
Lucky 3
http://www.buffalos
Lucky 4
http://www.buffalos
Magic 1320
http://www.buffalos
Magic Food
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
BJ Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A sweet, beautiful young would-be starlet comes to Hollywood to seek
her fortune. At her first power cocktail party she goes to the host
and asks him: "Who's the most powerful man in the room?"
"That would be Bob, over there by the caviar," he says.
The young woman walks over to Bob and says, "Excuse me, Bob, would
you mind stepping back behind this column? I'd like to talk to you."
Bob and the girl step behind the column and she says, "Bob... I'm
gonna unzip your fly, take out your cock, and give you the best
blowjob you ever had...!"
Bob smiles slightly and says, "Well, okay. But.........
in it for me?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
archie
http://www.buffalos
area
http://www.buffalos
army's slogan
http://www.buffalos
army
http://www.buffalos
Arnold
http://www.buffalos
art
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
You're invited!
Join the world's leading by invitation-only travel site today
* Save up to 60% off on oustanding travel deals
* Get members-only access to exclusive sales
* Register for free with no obligation
* Earn travel credits by recommending your friends
Whether its a romantic getaway to a French castle, a luxurious
escape
to the island of Malta, or a private catamaran cruise of the
Caribbean,
Voyage Prive offers to its members quality and unique travel offers
at
unbeatable prices....
Don't miss today's sales!
Join now for free membership!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once were three women from Birmingham
And this is the story concerning them.
They lifted the frock
and tickled the cock
of the Bishop while he was confirming them.
Now the Bishop was nobody's fool
(He'd gone to a good public school)
So he pulled down their britches
and buggered those bitches
with his ten inch Episcopal tool.
When he'd filled up the last one with goo
She said, as the Bishop withdrew
"The Vicar is thicker
and quicker and slicker
and longer and stronger than you!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Find Sexy, Intelligent Singles near you today with DateMatch. The
hottest online dating site!
-FREE to email featured members
-FREE to receive and read emails from members
-FREE to reply to emails from members
-FREE to create your own personality profile
Search for Sexy Singles in your area now!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I was a medical student my 'Firm' was about to start our
psychiatry rotation. On the first day we turned up on the
Psychiatric ward a bit worried about how we may find it, having
heard rumors as you do. We were quite relieved when the Registrar,
Dr Smith, introduced himself and took us into the teaching room to
tell us about all the patients on the ward; he did a good job.
Unfortunately our fears returned after 1/2 hour when the proper
registrar arrived and introduced us to *Dr Smith* who was in fact
one of the patients himself.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Kangaroo Keeper
Instantly organize any bag with the Kangaroo Keeper. Coming in
different sizes and colors, coordinate it with any style. Be able
to access up to 70 items in seconds with various compartments. Never
call your bag a bottomless pit again. Get organized with the
Kangaroo Keeper. Purchase one Kangaroo Keeper and receive another
for just the cost of shipping and handling
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1577
The Float and Volunteers
Ding Dong!
Tami: Hello guys. What can I do for you?
The dogs are nervous and shuffling their feet and looking around a
lot. Rudy nudges Katie...: Go ahead and ask her.
Katie: We have this problem and hope you would help us. You might
have noticed we have built this float for the 89'er parade in the
backyard.
Tami: Yes, we have and it is quite remarkable. Job will done!
Sandi: Thank you Miss Tami, but we have one problem.
Tami: What is it?
Rudy: We need one more volunteer to help us. We, that is Sandi and
I will be in the float wearing our Space Suits. Another person will
need to pull the float and a fourth person will get to fly around in
the rocket Space suit.
Katie: You could have your pick Tami, pulling the float or flying
in the rocket suit.
Tami: Wow! I would pick the rocket suit. I saw you flying around
the backyard and it looks amazing.
Katie: Rats, I would hope you would drive, but it is your pick.
Tami: Yes, if you can do it. I can. What can go wrong?
To be continued..
The Herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment