THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
The oldest, shortest words - "yes" and "no" -
are those which require the most thought.
Pythagoras
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Why I Carry a Gun
My old grandpa said to me 'Son, there comes a time
in every man's life when he stops bustin' knuckles
and starts bustin' caps and usually it's when he
becomes too old to take an ass whoopin.'
I don't carry a gun to kill people.
I carry a gun to keep from being killed.
I don't carry a gun to scare people.
I carry a gun because sometimes this world can be
a scary place.
I don't carry a gun because I'm paranoid.
I carry a gun because there are real threats in the world..
I don't carry a gun because I'm evil.
I carry a gun because I have lived long enough to
see the evil in the world.
I don't carry a gun because I hate the government.
I carry a gun because I understand the limitations of government..
I don't carry a gun because I'm angry.
I carry a gun so that I don't have to spend the rest of
my life hating myself for failing to be prepared.
I don't carry a gun because I want to shoot someone.
I carry a gun because I want to die at a ripe old age
in my bed, and not on a sidewalk somewhere tomorrow afternoon.
I don't carry a gun because I'm a cowboy.
I carry a gun because, when I die and go to heaven,
I want to be a cowboy.
I don't carry a gun to make me feel like a man.
I carry a gun because men know how to take care of
themselves and the ones they love.
I don't carry a gun because I feel inadequate.
I carry a gun because unarmed and facing three armed
thugs, I am inadequate.
I don't carry a gun because I love it.
I carry a gun because I love life and the people who
make it meaningful to me.
Police protection is an oxymoron.
Free citizens must protect themselves.
Police do not protect you from crime, they usually
just investigate the crime after it happens and then
call someone in to clean up the mess.
Personally, I carry a gun because I'm too young to die
and too old to take an ass whoopin'.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
THE COMICS
your agent
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w030.html
a piece
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w031.html
by by baby
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w032.html
disappointed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w033.html
confucius say
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w034.html
awkward
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w035.html
Dixie
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w036.html
I can't spell
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w037.html
hold it lady
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w038.html
denial
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w039.html
________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
hold my ladder
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9481.html
Cool Commercial
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9482.html
Michael Jackson
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9483.html
starburst commercial
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9484.html
another funny video
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9485.html
fishing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9486.html
____________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
the miracle of digital editing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd022.html
sweet rides
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd023.html
a new program in the US
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd024.html
A major research institution has just announced
the discovery of the densest element yet known to
science. The new element has been named Pelosium.
Pelosium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75
deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons,
giving it an atomic mass of 311.
These particles are held together by dark forces
called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities
of lepton-like particles called peons.
The symbol of Pelosium is PU.
Pelosium's mass actually increases over time, as morons
randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere
and become assistant deputy neutrons within the Pelosium
molecule, leading to the formation of isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some
scientists to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever
morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This
hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
When catalyzed with money, Pelosium activates CNNadnausium,
an element that radiates orders of magnitude more energy,
albeit as incoherent noise, since it has half as many peons
but twice as many morons as Pelosium.
____________
The Pasta Diet and Your Health
ITALIAN PASTA DIET -- IT REALLY WORKS !!
1.. You walk pasta da bakery.
2... You walka pasta da candy store.
3.. You walka pasta da Ice Cream shop.
4.. You walka pasta da table and fridge.
You will lose weight!
_____________
Little Christine ran into the house, crying as though
her heart would break. "What's wrong, dear?" asked her mother.
"My doll! Bobby broke it!" she sobbed.
"How did he break it, Christine?"
"I hit him over the head with it."
___________
An old man and woman were married for many years
and they grew to hate each other. When they had a
confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard
deep into the night. The old man would shout, 'When
I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and
come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!'
Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced
black magic, because of the many strange occurrences
that took place in their neighbourhood.
The old man liked the fact that he was feared.. To
everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98.
His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the
burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to
party, as if there was no tomorrow..
Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, 'Aren't
you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and
out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest
of your life?' The wife put down her drink and said,
'Let him dig. I had him buried upside down......'
_______________
When young JosÈ, newly arrived in the United
States, made his first trip to Yankee Stadium,
there were no tickets left for sale. Touched by
his disappointment, a friendly ticket salesman
found him a perch near the American flag. Later,
JosÈ wrote home enthusiastically about his
experience: "And the Americans, they are so
friendly! Before the game started, they all stood
up and looked at me and sang 'JosÈ, can you see?'"
_________
Mary and Sue hadn't seen each other for years.
When they finally sat down to lunch, Mary was
stunned at how trim and healthy Sue looked.
"My God," she said, "What do you do to stay so fit?"
"Well," answered Sue, "I've found that nothing
keeps me trimmer than having affairs."
"Really!" exclaimed Mary, looking her friend up
and down. "You simply must tell me who does your
catering!"
___________
"I can't believe that you and Claire are
splitting up," said John to his friend Pete.
"I've always thought of you as the perfect
couple, that you'd be together forever. Surely
you can sort things out, it can't be that bad,
can it?""Well" explained Pete, "We were driving through a
red light district last night when Claire said:
"Oh look, it's one of those hookers, or prossies,
or whores or whatever you call them."
And I said: 'It's Kelly. Her name is Kelly.'"
John fell silent for a moment, and then said: "So
who do you think will get to keep the house?"
_________
BUFFALO BILL
Olympic 1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91901.htm
Olympic 2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91902.htm
Only in L.A
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91903.htm
___________
SydesJokes Video Clips
Little Brother
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000906.html
Loading A Bobcat Texas Style
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000907.html
Log Splitter
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000908.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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