THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!!
A wise person does at once,
what a fool does at last.
Both do the same thing;
only at different times
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
FROM:
THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
There are a couple of new improvements that
Toyota plans on making on next years models.
What with the recession, and coupled with the
recent "recall flap," market shares for Toyota
have been plunging and share holders have been
asking for major changes. Market analysts predict
that sales should increase dramatically.
Since the massive recall effort has left the
company broke because of the acceleration problem,
they decided on a cheaper, more effective solution.
Toyota makers are going to start making the horn
louder. They say it will be more effective and
will give Toyota drivers more confidence. The
executives of Toyota will also plan a new marketing
campaign with a catchy slogan:
If a man wants to drive a Toyota,
Don't stand in his way!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________
THE COMICS
Ebonics
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x030.html
sand castles
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x031.html
quick sand
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x032.html
saving time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x033.html
strain
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x034.html
sale
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x035.html
oops
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x036.html
what I want
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x037.html
manners
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x038.html
wouldn't you know it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x039.html
_________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
I hate monday
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9522.html
its good to be you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9523.html
officer involved shooting
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9524.html
jet truck
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9525.html
America's got talent
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9526.html
still want to drink coca cola?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9527.html
____________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
how to stop a thief
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd040.html
Angelique
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd041.html
great photos
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd042.html
Two good ol' boys in Rabun County were sitting around
talking one afternoon over a cold beer. After a while
the first guy says to the second, "If I was to sneak
over to your trailer Saturday and make love to your
wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant
and had a baby, would that make us like kin?"
The second guy crooked his head sideways for a minute,
scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real
hard about the question.Finally, he says, "Well, I
don't know about kin, but it would make us even."
___________
Just came across this exercise suggested for seniors,
to build musclestrength in the arms and shoulders. It
seems so easy, so I thought I'd pass it on to some of my
younger friends. The article suggested doing it three
days a week.Begin by standing on a comfortable surface,
where you have plenty of room at each side.With a 5-lb.
potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out
from your sides, and hold them there as long as you can.
Try to reach a full minute, then relax. Each day, you'll
find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.
After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb. potato sacks.
Then 50-lb. potato sacks, and eventually try to get to
where you can lift a 100-lb. potato sack in each hand and
hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.
After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in
each of the sacks; but be careful
_____________
Little Johnny was walking along the railroad tracks when
suddenly he got his foot caught under one of the railroad
ties. He tried to get it out but it was really stuck. As he
struggled to free his foot, he heard a noise and turned around.
To his horror he saw a train coming.
Panicked he started to pray, "God, please get my foot out of
these tracks and I'll stop being bad!"
Nothing happened, his foot was still stuck. He looked up to
see the train getting closer! He prayed again, "God, please get
my foot out and I'll stop swearing AND being bad!"
Still nothing, his foot was wedged tight. The train was just
seconds away! Little Johnny struggled frantically as the train's
horn blared. He tried his plea one more time, "God, please,
if you get my foot out of the tracks, I'll quit being bad,
I'll stop swearing, AND I'll stop trying to look up little
Mary's dress." Just as the train was about to hit Johnny,
his foot broke free and he fell backwards, the train narrowly
missing him. He got up, dusted himself off, looked toward Heaven
and said "Thanks anyway God, I got it myself..."
_____________
A young kid's in a shipwreck and he winds up stranded on a
tropical island. For twenty years he never sees another human
being. Then one day a beautiful girl with long blond hair, her
clothes half-ripped off, washes up on a piece of driftwood.
He explains to her how he existed for twenty years, digging for
clams, and eating fruits and berries.
She says, "Well, what did you do for love?"
He says, "Love? What's that?"
She says, "I'll show you." She shows him. Then she shows him
again. Then she shows him one more time. When they're finally
done, she says, "Well, how do you like love?"
He says, "It's great. But look what you did to my clam digger."
____________
A homeless man stops at a farmhouse to beg to spend the night.
The farmer answers the door and says, "Sure, we can put you up."
The vagrant washes up for dinner and meets the family downstairs.
Sitting at the dinner table are the farmer, his wife, their son,
and a gigantic pig who is sporting three medals around his neck,
as well as a wooden leg. Unable to contain his curiosity he asks,
"Would you mind telling
me about the bronze medal around your pig's neck?"
The farmer says "Sure. It's really an incredible story. Little
Timmy here was swimming in the lake when he got a cramp and
started to drown. This pig heard his cries for help, busted out
of his pen, ran to the lake, and saved our son's life. So, we
gave him the medal." The vagrant is amazed and says "Well,
how about that silver medal?"
The farmer says "A few months ago our house caught fire in the
middle of the night while we were all sleeping. This pig saw the
flames, busted out of his pen and ran into the house, waking us
up in time. To show our gratitude we gave him that silver medal."
The homeless man says "While I'm at it, I might as well ask you
about the gold medal." The farmer says "My wife was attacked by
a burglar several weeks ago. This pig heard her cries, busted
out of his pen, and chased that man far away. To show my thanks
I gave him that gold medal and allowed him to eat with us here
in the house."
The homeless man sits in awe of the pig, who is blithely eating
his meal. He asks "What about the wooden leg?"
The farmer says, matter-of-factly, "Well, a pig like that you
don't eat all at once!"
______________
BUFFALO BILL
Flirting Garbage men
http://www.buffaloschips.com/abdhjdsk.htm
Football Season
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aghju.htm
Geenautomeernodig
http://www.buffaloschips.com/010901.htm
___________
SydesJokes Video Clips
Male Priorities
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000930.html
Mama Nem
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000931.html
Man In Line
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000932.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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