THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Be not amazed. Ye seek Jesus of Nazareth:
who was crucified. He is risen, he is not here!
Behold the place where they laid him.
Mark 16:6
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
HAPPY EASTER!
I trust that you and yours will all
have a great Sunday!
It has been an interesting start of
the riding season. I mentioned in previous
issues of the ironic problems I had with
batteries and such, right? So, its Friday,
and the weather is fantastic. 85 degrees.
But I can't ride because its the day off
for the war department. and its pay day.
So we got to do the grocery thing and etc.
Its necessary for me to accompany her on
such trips, otherwise, she will attempt to
feed me nothing but lettuce and carrots all week. And
besides, its good Friday, so that also required
attending church. A great day, but with no riding.
So I figger yesterday, ok, lets make up some
time. I pulled out of the driveway about 930 am
Saturday morning, and headed down the road
on the iron bike. Went about 80 miles,
and man, it ain't looking good. Looked
up and the clouds are rolling in big time.
I pulled off the road to figure out what it
was gonna do. By the time I finished one cup
of coffee, its coming down in buckets.
I hightailed it back home,
being chased by rain clouds. I can't remember
when I ever have been so soaked.
Oh well, better times are coming!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________
THE COMICS
easter eggs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t050.html
redneck easter basket
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t051.html
police line
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t052.html
choclet
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t053.html
egg smiles
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t054.html
slippers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t055.html
tips from the easter bunny
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t056.html
easter bunny??
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t057.html
flashed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t058.html
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
easter clips
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9373.html
Easter bunny song
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9374.html
easter bunny hates u
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9375.html
What the easter bunny does after easter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9376.html
Easter happy tree friends
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9378.html
Eddie Izzzard-Easter and Christmas
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9379.html
_______________
The Rules of Chocolate
If you get melted chocolate all over your hands,
you're eating it too slowly.
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices
and strawberries all count as fruit,
so eat as many as you want.
The problem:
How to get two pounds of chocolate home
from the store in a hot car.
The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal.
It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total
daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in
the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate,
what's wrong with you?
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top
of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they
will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
Money talks. Chocolate sings.
Chocolate has many preservatives.
Preservatives make you look younger.
Why is there no such organization as
Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because no one wants to quit.
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today.
That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
_____________
A man was blissfully driving along the highway,
when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the
middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the
Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front
of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying
all over the place. Candy, too.The driver, being a
sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over
to the side of the road, and got out to see what had
become of the Bunny carrying the basket. Much to his
dismay, the colorful Bunny was dead.The driver felt
guilty and began to cry. A woman driving down the same
highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and
pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the
man what was wrong."I feel terrible," he explained, "I
accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it.
What should I do?"The woman told the man not to worry.
She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk,
and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp,
dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can
onto the little furry animal.Miraculously the Easter
Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the spilled
eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped
on down the road. 50 yards away the Easter Bunny stopped,
turned around, waved and hopped on down the road another
50 yards, turned, waved, hopped another 50 yards
and waved again!!!!The man was astonished. He said to
the woman, "What in heaven's name is in your spray can?"
The woman turned the can around so that the man could
read the label. It said:
"Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."
_______________
Jim was just out of Navy boot camp, and was on his first
ship. About two hours out of port, he began to get a bit
ill from the motion of the ship. He approached an ensign,
also just out of training and on his first cruise. He
saluted and said, "Excuse me sir, I am feeling seasick,
and I wondered if I may have permission to go downstairs
to the dispensary."The ensign returned his salute and replied,
"Sailor, you are in the Navy now. You don't go downstairs,
you go below! There is no dispensary on this ship, there is
sickbay. Not only that, that is not the floor, it is a deck,
that is not the ceiling, it is the overhead, that is not a
pillar, it is a stanchion, that is not a water fountain, it is
a scuttle-butt. If I ever hear you using civilian words
instead of Naval jargon, I will throw you out of that little
round window over there."
____________
'Twas the night before Easter. All was calm and laid back.
Fred, the mouse in the kitchen, snarfed down a late snack.
The eggs were all dyed but still drippy and sticky...
To be honest, they looked just a little bit icky.
There were big jelly beans, chocolate bunnies and such,
And as Fred stuffed his face, he sighed, "This is too much!"
Phil and Rose were in bed watching late night TV,
While munching saltines with low-sodium Brie.
Then a sudden commotion rang out in the night.
It shook Phil and Rose, really gave them a fright.
Phil's hair stood on end, and his eyes bugged out big...
Rose whipped off the covers and knocked off her wig.
They lunged to the window, yanked open the blinds...
What they saw was amazing; it boggled their minds:
Across the night sky, with a noise like the dickens,
Soared a minivan drawn by eight overgrown chickens!
At the wheel sat a bunny -- cute, fuzzy and fat --
In designer blue jeans and a Panama hat.
Like a speeding space shuttle, those chickens they flew,
As the van driver called to each hen in his crew:
"Now, Ashley! Now, Sheila! Now, Kelsey and Bo!
On Bethany, Liza! On Daphne, on Flo!"
The van made its landing lickety-split ...
Nearly wiped out the shrubs and the barbecue pit!
Then up on the roof, much to Phil's consternation,
They squawked of egg prices and space navigation.
They made so much noise that Phil started to stammer,
"If you guys don't shut up, we'll get thrown in the slammer!"
Fuzzy hopped down the chimney, amidst all this racket,
And emerged from the fireplace, adjusting his jacket.
This bunny was chic, he had class, he had flair ..
Not your average bozo, not your typical hare.
His ears were enormous; his huge overbite
Was right under a nose like a pink neon light.
His manner was smooth, he was hip, he was cool;
This floppy-eared bunny was no fuzzy fool.
"While I'm here," he smiled, "Everybody relaxes ...
I'm not selling storm windows, won't audit your taxes.
I'm just here to bring you some fun and delight.
Eat, drink, and be merry! Let's party tonight!"
So they sipped diet soda and swapped silly jokes,
Those birds and their bunny just being plain folks.
Then flop-ears said, "Hey, friends, we've had quite a ball,
But my chickens and I are now due in St. Paul!"
He crossed both his eyes. Then he wiggled one ear,
And he yelled to his chicken team, "We're outta here!"
As the minivan rose in the 3 a.m. sky,
He called out, "Later, Phil! And to you, Rose, good-bye!"
As he sped out of sight, his two friends heard him say,
"Happy Easter to all! Have a beautiful day!"
_____________
It was following the resurrection and disciples were still
somewhat scattered about Jerusalem and the surrounding
villages. John finds Peter and runs up to him. Excitedly he
says, "Peter, Peter! I've got some good news and some bad news."
Peter takes ahold of John and calms him down. "Take it easy,
John. What is it? What's the good news?"
John says, "The good news is Christ is risen."
Peter says, "That's great! But, what's the bad news?"
John, looking around, says, "He's really steamed about last Friday."
__________
FUN PAGES
Mario World 2
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41604&s=n
Ambulance Tosses Patient Out
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41051&s=n
Driving Skills
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38549&s=n
Diamond Ring
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=5093&s=n
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
Why Men Have Bikes
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7818.htm
Why Sex Before Marriage is Essential
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7819.htm
Why Women Watch Football
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7820.htm
_______________
SydesJokes Video Clips
Jingle Bums
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000852.html
Job Interview
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000853.html
Johnny Cash Reincarnated
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000854.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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