Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I don't know who is controlling the weather but you got to
love it, chilly days during the week and 60 and sunny on the
weekends. It's probably one of the best times of the year
before the heat and mosquitoes hit. I had one get inside
last week and it bit me on the bottom of the foot. With the
nerve damage from DVT and later diabetes I don't have a
lot of feeling in my feet but that one drove me nuts. I rubbed
my foot on the carpet and kicked the wall a couple of times
and finally went in and stuck my foot under the bathtub spout
and washed it with soap and water.
The past couple of days have been carrying the remote to
the cable boxes back and forth because one disappeared.
I think Eva hid it so no one changes the channel on her
while she was watching Nick Jr. I was watching baseball
this afternoon and the remote was in the other room so I
told her I couldn't change it without the remote. She disappeared
and came back with the remote. I wish I had followed her
because I had turned the house upside down looking for the
remote and suspect she has a little cubbyhole somewhere
that probably has everything I couldn't find for the past four
years.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Did You Hear About The Nympho At The Hotel Pool?
A. She Was Barred From The Area After The Lifeguard Saw Her Go Down
For
The Third Time.
Q. Did You Hear About The Marriage Of The Dipsomaniac And The
Nymphomaniac. A. It Was Nip And F*** All The Way.
Q. Did You Hear About The Nymphomaniac Who Died During An Ocean
Crossing? A. She Tried To Go Down On The Titanic.
Q. What Is The Definition Of The `Perfect Woman'?
A. A Deaf, Dumb, Blind Nymphomaniac Who Owns A Liquor Store.
Q. Why Is A Nymphomaniac'
A. They're Both Open To Males Ages 18 To 39.
Q. Did You Hear About The Nymphomaniacal Dieter?
A. She Was Weighed In The Balance And Found Wanton.
Q. Did You Hear About The Nymphomaniacal Israelite?
A. She Was Always Trying To Make A Prophet.
Q. Have you heard of the new Christmas-time charity?
A. It supplies vibrators to nymphomaniacs. It's called TOYS FOR
TWATS.
Q. How can you tell if a sorority girl's a nymphomaniac?
A. She'll make love the same day she has her hair done.
Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a
sorority girl?
A: A prostitute says "Are you done yet?", a nymphomaniac says
"You're
done already?", and a sorority girl says "Beige... I think I'll
paint
the ceiling beige."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
census bureau
http://www.thepostm
50 bucks
http://www.thepostm
computer skills
http://www.thepostm
Lord Of The Rings Parody
http://sydesjokes.
Loser Cyclist
http://sydesjokes.
Losing Head
http://sydesjokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Speaking at the Staff Meeting, a very pert and
pretty female engineer named Renee told the male
manager of the Division, "I'd like to get some-
thing off my chest."
"What's that, Renee?"
"Your eyes."
~~~~~~
"I've got to get to the doctor and renew my
prescription of birth control pills. I can't
afford to get pregnant!" said Rosey to Nina.
"But I thought you said your husband had a
vasectomy," Nina responded.
"He did. That's why I can't afford to get
pregnant."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Age Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A shy little 4-year-old came in to the dentist for her first
cleaning
and check-up. The hygienist tried to strike up a conversation but
got no
response.
After the cleaning, the dentist was called in to do the final check.
The
dentist tried to strike up a conversation as well.
"How old are you?"
No response.
The dentist then asked, "Don't you know how old you are?"
Immediately four tiny fingers went up.
"Oh," replied the dentist, "and do you know how old that is?"
Four little fingers went up once again.
Continuing the effort to get a response, the dentist asked, "Can you
talk?"
The solemn little patient looked at him and asked, "Can you count,
asshole?!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Director of Collectibles Today
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Naked Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
THINGS A MAN DOESN'T APPRECIATE BEING SAID WHEN A WOMAN IS LOOKING
AT
HIM NAKED
1. Why is God punishing me?
2. At least this won't take long.
3. I never saw one like that before.
4. But it still works, right?
5. It looks unused.
6. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
7. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
8. Are you cold?
9. If you get me real drunk first.
10. Is that an optical illusion?
11. What is that?
12. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
13. Does it come with an air pump?
14. So this is why you're to judge people on personality.
15. I guess this makes me the 'early bird.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Honeymoon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
On his honeymoon, a very thick redneck farmer, Billy Joe, insisted
on
having a room at the luxury hotel with a balcony overlooking the
sea.
On retiring for the night after the wedding, his new bride emerged
from the bathroom dressed in some very sexy lingerie.
"Hey Billy Joe, come in off the balcony and see what I have waiting
for you to savor for the first time" she said coyly.
"No thanks, I want to sit out here," he said.
So Daisy sat down brushing her golden hair for 10 minutes after
which
she invited Billy Joe once more to come in off the balcony to take
pleasure of her virginal body. Once more he refused. Eventually
Daisy
grew tired of waiting and she retired to the wedding bed and fell
asleep.
In the morning, she awoke to find him still sitting on the balcony.
"Why did you spend the whole night out there when you could have
been
making love all night?" she asked.
"Well my pa said the first night of my marriage would be the most
beautiful night of my whole life - and I didn't want to miss a
moment
of it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Best Friends
http://silverandgol
Hear,Speak, And See No Evil
http://texasbobswor
Taken For Granted
http://www.carolspo
Montreal Gardens
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Surfin Surfari
International Space Station Via Dianne
http://i.usatoday.
Anzac Day
http://en.wikipedia
Liberty Air Show
http://www.shangral
Strange Hotels
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
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and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
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morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv) Via Wesley
Next I-Phone
http://gizmodo.
Make A Flash Face
http://flashface.
Why Linux is Better
http://www.whylinux
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://sweet-
Clean Inside of your screen FREE
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Movie Links
Ouch!!
http://www.buffalos
Recession
http://www.buffalos
Red State Update
http://www.buffalos
Singing Monkey
http://www.buffalos
Uncontrollable Sexual Urges
http://www.buffalos
What
http://www.buffalos
Canard
http://www.buffalos
Candid Camera Russian Style
http://www.buffalos
Carrier Landing
http://www.buffalos
Cat
http://www.buffalos
Cat Bird
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Letter Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for
good. I've been a good man to you for seven years, and I have
nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your
boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today, and that
was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice
that I had gotten a new hair cut. I Cooked your favorite meal, and
even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You came home and ate in
two minutes, then went straight to sleep after watching all your
soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want to
have sex any - more or anything. Either you're cheating on me or
You don't love me anymore. Whatever the case is, I am gone.
Your EX - Husband
P. S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to
West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It is true
you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is
a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because
they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that it
doesn't work. I did notice when you got a hair cut last week. The
first thing that came to mind was, "You look just like a girl!" but
my mother raised Me not to say anything, If you can't say anything
nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me
Confused with my SISTER, because, I stopped eating steak seven years
ago. I turned away from you when you had those silk boxers on
because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just
a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me
That morning --- And your new silk boxers were $49.99. After all of
this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So,
when I discovered that I had hit the lottery for Ten Million
Dollars, I quit my job and bought us TWO tickets to Jamaica. But,
when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I
guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My
lawyer said that with your letter you wrote, you won't get a dime
from me. So take care.
Signed, Rich and Free!
P. S. I don't know if I ever told you this but, Carla, my sister,
was born CARL!!! I hope that's not a problem...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Faking It
http://www.buffalos
Tin Can Phone
http://www.buffalos
Crowded Beach
http://www.buffalos
Doggie Kisses
http://www.buffalos
Going To Sleep
http://www.buffalos
It Fits
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young lady from Exeter,
So pretty the men strained their necks at her.
But one was so brave
To pull out and wave
The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.
~~~~
There once was a man from Van Isle
Who said jogging just wasn't his style.
"I'll get my workouts," he said,
"At home, in my bed,
'Cause a Miss is as good as a mile!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
once being a milkman many years ago i enjoyed the milk chips today.
thought you might like this tidbit from the past....
milkmen had to think fast on their feet...
having a good looking stop that was overly sexy he found the only
way to enjoy sex with her was to get it at the front door not
going inside so the neighbors wouldn't know he would swing his
carrier with all the other products in it while delivering HIS
goods.... as it was time for his 2 week vacation came he went on a
trip and after a week all he could do is think of her...when he
finally got back to work he skipped half the stops to get to her
...he grabbed the carrier and by the time he got to the front door
had HIS goods in his hand for her...being so early her husband had
not gone to work yet came to the door....being a fast thinking
milkman as he was he said: I'll tell you just like i told her pay
up the milk bill or i will piss all over the floor...
Jim
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1771
Pain...
Rudy: So how much does it hurt Pops?
BJ: (The second night in) Imagine the worst pain you have ever
had.
Then imagine a door there, it opens up to a room, you walk into that
room and there inside the room is a new level of pain, far beyond
anything you could ever dream or imagine.
Rudy: Oh, that's a lot.
BJ: Yeah, I cannot sleep at night. But they say it will get
better.
Sandi: You make me cry.
BJ: Heck the pain makes me cry.
Katie: Is it worth it?
BJ: Time will tell.
Diana: It has to be. His knee was bone on bone for about 10 years.
The doctor had to straighten his leg before he could replace the
knee.
So this surgery was more complicated than expected. He was supposed
to go back to work in a few weeks, but the doctor wants him to go to
work in July.
Rudy: Wow, that is seven months.
To be continued
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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