THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Life is 10% what happens to you,
and 90% how you react to it.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I'm pretty sure I must have O. D.'d
on chicken grease yesterday. The trots
can be awfully deadly! let me tell you!
I pretty much stayed close for home the
whole day for obvious reasons. I did have
to make one road trip tho. Ran out of T.P.
Thats a pretty serious issue when you have the
trots! I also bought some air freshener to
sweeten things up a bit for when the war
department got home in the afternoon. And
orange cleaner. (Got to scrub that toilet bowl,
u know?) Made a quick trip over to Best Buy too.
Figgered that it was time for a new keyboard.
But over all, I thought things were pretty much
back to normal by the time she came home from
work. But there was one thing I didn't think
about. One of the first things she did was to
change the bedsheets:( I am pretty sure it will
be a while before she fixes me fried chicken
again:(
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
Fuck, a community organizer from Kenya,
and a Marxist, is giving me orders.
O god, o God, Jesus help me
I really shouldn't
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x090.html
support group
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x091.html
Obama care
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x092.html
the mechanic said
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x093.html
I can't spell
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x094.html
beer belt
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x095.html
I don't mind
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x096.html
I phone
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x097.html
Arizona icecream truck
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x098.html
______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
the story of Faith the dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8256.html
my pet
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8257.html
winder cleanin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8258.html
when I die-wav file
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8259.html
funniest voice mail ever
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8260.html
Andy Kaufman
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8261.html
Fellow walked into his Grandsons' bedroom and
found them both busy studying at their desks.
The first boy was reading a book on aviation.
"What do you want to be when you grow up?" asked
the Grandfather, looking at the boy intently staring
at the latest in military jets.
"I want to go to the Naval Academy, GrandPa; then
try to get into Naval aviation. I've always
dreamed of being a pilot. The Grandfather walked
over to the other boy was studying one of his Father's
"PlayBoy" magazines just as intently as his brother
was the book on aviation. "And you Jimmy, what do
you want to be when you grow up?" asked the
Grandfather a little hesitantly.
"Nothing sir," the boy said wistfully, "just grown up."
______________
After hearing a speech on how to motivate employees,
the business owner posted signs that read "Do It Now"
in every department. It was impossible for the
employees not to see them all through the day.
A friend dropped by a week later. Seeing the signs,
he asked if the scheme really worked.
"Well," said the business owner, "not exactly the
way I thought it would. My accountant ran off with
$250,000, the office manager eloped with my secretary
and the rest of the employees asked for raises."
______________
A man went to his dentist because he feels
something wrong in his mouth.
The dentist examines him and says, "that new
upper plate I put in for you six months ago is
eroding. What have you been eating?"
The man replies, "all I can think of is that
about four months ago my wife made some asparagus
and put some stuff on it that was delicious...
Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put
it on everything -- meat, toast, fish, vegtables,
everything." "Well," says the dentist, "that's
probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made
with lots of lemon juice, which is highly
corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate.
I'll make you a new plate, and this time
use chrome."
"Why chrome?" asks the patient.
To which the dentist replies, "It's simple.
Everyone knows that there's no plate like
chrome for the Hollandaise!
__________
A man was sitting on the sofa watching TV when
he heard his wife's voice from the kitchen.
"What would you like for dinner, love? Chicken,
beef or lamb?" He said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken."
"Fuck you," she said. "You're having soup.
I was talking to the cat."
____________
A little boy came home from playing outside
one day. He was huffing and puffing, like he
was winded. All of sudden, the boy's father
heard a kitten squalling like it was extremely
uncomfortable. He turned around and looked.
Sure enough, there's his son -- holding a
kitten - obviously no more than 6 weeks old!
"What have you got there, son?"
"It's especially for you, Dad," the boy
replied. The father asked, "What do you mean?"
"Remember the other night, you told Mom you
wanted 'a little pussy? ' "Well, I heard you,
and I went out and got you one!"
_____________
A rich man walks into the Dean's Office at a
small college. "I'd like to donate several
million dollars to the institution." "Why, that's
very generous of you." "But there is one condition:
I'd like you to bestow an honorary degree."
"That's no problem; no problem at all."
"I haven't finished. I want an honorary degree for my horse."
"Your horse?"
"Yup, you bet. She carried me for many a year
and I owe her a lot. I'd like her to receive her Tr.d.
- Doctor of Transportation."
"I'm sorry, we can't give a degree to a horse.
What will people think?"
"Well, I'll just take my donation to another
educational institution." "Wait, wait! Let me
consult with the school trustees." The dean calls
a hurried trustee meeting and relays the details
of the deal. All of the board except the oldest
member reacts with shock and dismay. The
oldest trustee looks like he's sleeping
through the meeting. After all the arguments,
the old man says, "Take the money and give the
horse the degree."
"What? Don't you think that would disgrace the college?"
"We give honorary degrees to lawyers, don't we?"
"Yes, but ..."
"We give honorary degrees to politicians, don't we?"
"Yes ..."
"So what's wrong with giving an honorary
degree to the entire horse?"
___________
BUFFALO BILL
Voting Ad
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91101.htm
Argument Settled
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91102.htm
Been Married To long
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91103.htm
______________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Crank That Santa Claus
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000386.html
Crap Printer Hp
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000387.html
Crazy Cow
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000388.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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