Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
The Suburban is back on the road, still minus a back window
but that is not a necessity at the moment so a piece of plastic
will suffice. My nephew replaced the alternator and we only had
a few minor problems. The first one was when we walked into
the parts store with the old alternator. GM used three different
alternators that year and Delphi has no part numbers on the
alternator so I had to go back home and get the original sticker
and look up the alternator size on it. It was the smallest one, a
100 amp alternator. The largest was 140 amp but unless you
are plowing snow or have a million watt stereo, I think a 100
amp will be sufficient.
The next decision is when they ask if you want a three year warranty
or a lifetime warranty . You have to consider whether the vehicle
and yourself will last longer than three years. If people don't
throw
anymore beer bottles at it, it could last more than three years so
I guess I will have to make it longer than three years or I wasted
twelve bucks. I have bought dozens of starters and alternators
over the year from NAPA and they all lasted well past their
warranties.
We got home, put the alternator on and since another nephew
didn't return my jumper cables, we ran out to Nancy's to pick up
a battery charger. After charging for 15 minutes the Jimmy started
and then shut off. The alternator still wasn't working and we
discovered
that you have to connect all of the wires for it to work.
The only other problem is my stereo is locked. Something about
no voltage caused and you need a dealer code to reset it. It may
have been a good anti-theft measure when it was new but who
would steal a radio from an 11 year old vehicle?
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Martian Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars
after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They
meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts
of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if
they have laptop computers, how they make money,
etc. Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex.
"Just how do you guys do it?" asks Maureen.
The Martian responds, "Pretty much the way you do."
A discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to
swap partners for the night and experience one another.
Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where
the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny, weenie member - about
half an
inch long and just a quarter inch thick.
"I don't think this is going to work," says Maureen. "
Why?" he asks, "What's the matter?"
"Well," she replies, "it's just not long enough to reach me!",
"No problem," he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead
with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member
grows until it's quite impressively long.
"Well," she says, "that's quite impressive, but it's still pretty
narrow."
"No problem," he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull,
his
member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is
extremely
exciting to the woman.
"Wow!" she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate
love. The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go
their
separate ways.
As they walk along, Mike asks, "Well, was it any good?"
"I hate to say it," says Maureen, "but it was pretty wonderful. How
about you?"
"It was horrible," he replies, "all I got was a headache...she kept
slapping my forehead and pulling my ears."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
DIY Vasectomy Kit
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DNA
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DNA Molecules
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Snake Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ginger and Blue, two prospectors in the outback of
Australia, trailing along on their horses. Suddenly Blue
is taken short, descends from his horse and, being a tidy-minded
sort of
digger, goes over to a small scrubby little bush and pees into it.
He's
just shaking off the drops when a small snake, yellow with blue
stripes
down the back, jumps out of the bush and bites him, right on the end
of
his tool. "Jeeze....strike.
think
I'm gonna pass out..... call up the flying doctor for help." He
staggers
about, clutching himself in agony, gasping the words out with great
effort. Ginger removes the small portable radio transmitter/
from his pack, cranks it and within seconds is talking to the flying
doctor. "What's up Ginger?" "It's Blue, doc, he`s bin bitten by a
snake,
right on the end of...." "What kind of snake Ginger, quick, tell
me."
"Doc it was short, kinda yeller with bluey kinda stripes down the
back,
and it's bitten him right on the end of..." "Now shut up Ginger and
listen, that snake bite is bad, if the poison isn't sucked out of
the
bite wound in another minute, he's gonna die." "Okay doc, thanks."
Ginger walks over to Blue, who`s collapsed on the ground, panting
and
sweating and white as a sheet. "What`s the doc say Ginger?" "You're
gonna die, Blue."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prince Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once upon a time there was a king who had a beautiful daughter.
One day a young prince from a nearby kingdom came by for a visit.
That night, after everyone had gone to bed, the prince snuck out of
his room and entered the princess' room. She said, "What are you
doing in my room? Leave immediately or I will call my father!"
The Prince said, "Don't be frightened. I am not going to hurt you.
You are so beautiful. I just want to kiss you and hold you." He
kissed
her lips and here and there and everywhere. Soon he had gone
where no man had gone before. They were enthusiastically doing
the nasty. After he finished, he rolled over and relaxed.
She said, "Wow! That was fun. Let's do it again."
He climbed back in the saddle for seconds. Then again rolled
over and relaxed.
She said, "That was so good. We have to do it again."
He wasn't very enthusiastic, but he just managed to rise
again to the occasion. He then rolled over and again tried to
relax.
She said, "Come on, let's do it again."
The prince said, "Leave me alone or I will call your father."
Susan
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sure Clip
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Colon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Colonoscopies
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments
made by his patients (predominately male)
while he was performing their Colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone
before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."
And the best one of them all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not
up
there."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Turbo Snake
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parking Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
John decided to visit his friend, Dave, who had just moved into a
new
high-rise apartment building. As he parked his car and got out, he
heard
a woman's voice say, "Hi, there, big boy." Looking up, he saw a
gorgeous
lady - dressed in a shear negligee, leaning over the railing. "Come
on
up and see me," she purred. John wasn't about to pass up an
opportunity
like that! He took the elevator to the fifth floor, and as he got
off -
an apartment door opened, and the sexy lady beckoned him toward her.
John walked over to the open door. "I've been waiting for someone
like
you," the lady said as she slowly unzipped his pants. John's pecker
rose
swiftly to the occasion, and the lady took it into her hand. Then
she
gave it a sharp whack with the other hand! John jumped back in
alarm.
"What the hell did you do that for?" he cried. She answered,
"That'll
teach you to take my parking place!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Kangaroo Keeper
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Woman Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Nine Important Men In A Woman's Life!
1. THE DOCTOR:
because he says, "Take your clothes off."
2. THE DENTIST:
because he says, "Open wide."
3. THE HAIRDRESSER:
because he says,"Do you want it teased or blown?".
4. THE MILKMAN:
because he says, "Do you want it in the front or the back?"
5. THE INTERIOR DECORATOR:
because he says, "Once it's in, you'll love it!"
6. THE STOCK BROKER:
because he says, "It will rise right up, fluctuate for a while, and
then
slowly fall back again."
7. THE BANKER:
because he says, "If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest.
8. THE HUNTER:
because he goes deep in the bush, shoots twice, and always
eats what he shoots.
9. THE TELEPHONE GUY:
because he says, "Would you like it on the table or up against the
wall?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Memories
http://silverandgol
carolyn w/ The Pumpkin Patch with John & Jessica
http://tinyurl.
FAITH CONQUERS ALL
http://www.wtv-
Until We Write Again!
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
If anyone is interested in GETTING A HALLOWEEN COSTUME online I sell
for every ad on my site there's a bunch of costume stores I sell for
( I GET A LITTLE KICK BACK FROM THE SALES IT HELPS )we just put up a
whole bunch of links thanks from the help of my daughter for doing
the typing and work to get my site back up I couldn't use my right
hand now for a couple of months already .I just got a cast on my arm
yesterday so I'm typing with my left finger (SLOWLY) and that's
taking forever lol but I'm on here .Thankfully I have her to do the
fast stuff for me . Also there's a party in Tinley that Rosina is
having on Halloween email me and let me know if you would like to go
with us it's on Halloween at 8 pm.INFO BELOW
http://www.ghostsan
http://www.ghostsan
MELISSA
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Halloween Hangman
http://www.dedge.
Confirmed H1N1 cases in US Via Shangy
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H1N1 Tips Via Shangy
http://current-
Tricks For Treats 2
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Val's Stationery Creations Via Shangy
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Winamp MP3 Player Via Lisa
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Eudora Via Lisa
http://www.eudora.
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Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual?
Did you know that many people who are married or in a serious
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to monitor and see everything that their spouse or lover does on the
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Right now you can scan your PC or laptop for no cost to see if there
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Animal World
True Duck Tale
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Great White Shark
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visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you''ll have this awesome
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Movies
6664
http://www.buffalos
AA.WMVPV
http://www.buffalos
Achmed Jingle Bombs
http://www.buffalos
AH L'Amour
http://www.buffalos
Amy G. Kazochee
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Bad To The Bone
http://www.buffalos
Max Porta Potty
http://www.buffalos
McDogo
http://www.buffalos
McElway Basketball
http://www.buffalos
Men Can't Multitask
http://www.buffalos
Men Invented Everything
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sausage Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was showing
his
arrogant preppy son around his factory.
Try as he might to impress his snobbish son, his son would just
sneer.
They approached the heart of the factory, where the father thought,
"This should impress him!"
He showed his son a machine and said "Son, this is the heart of the
factory. With this machine here we can put in a pig, and out come
sausages.
The prudish son, unimpressed, said "Yes, but do you have a machine
where
you can put in a sausage and out comes a pig?"
The father, furious, thought and said, "Yes son, we call it your
mother."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Safely Talk and Drive at the Same Time
Jupiter Jack let's you talk without using your hands. It transmits
quality sound through the speakers in your car. Just plug Jupiter
Jack in your phone, preset your radio to 99.3 FM and you're ready to
start talking.
Order now and you'll get two Jupiter Jacks for the price of one.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
baboons
http://www.buffalos
bed
http://www.buffalos
beer goggles
http://www.buffalos
before sex
http://www.buffalos
bitchin head
http://www.buffalos
bite my ass
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Affair Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The husband finally wised up to the fact that his wife was less
than
faithful. He hired a private investigator to follow her and in
less
than a week, had all the information that he needed on the
"other man".
The husband convinced himself that his would still be a loving and
trustworthy marriage had not this S.O.B. come onto the scene. Being
a
man of the 90's and all, he decided to handle the matter in what he
judged
to be sophisticated and business- like manner.
He sent the following e-mail to his wife's lover:
Sir,
It has been brought to my attention that for some time now you
have been carrying on an affair with my wife. So that we may
settle this matter in an intelligent fashion, please be at my
office at 3 PM on Friday next.
The "other man" was highly amused by the husband's formal manner
and
sent the following reply:
Dear Sir,
I have received a copy of your mass mailing this morning.
You may be advised that I will attend the scheduled conference
in your office's auditorium.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A blonde, a brunette and a red head are in the copy room of their
office building when the red head goes over to the corner of the
room.
She stands with a puzzled look on her face for a second then says
'This looks like a semen stain'.
The brunette walks over to look as well as touch the stain. She says
'Looks and feels like semen.'
The blonde comes over, looks at, touches, then tastes the stain. She
says 'looks like it, feels like it and tastes like it, but it's not
from any man in this office.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Additional Ordering Details:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A 30-year-old man and woman are lying in bed after making
love. The woman lays on her side of the bed and rests. The
man goes to his side of the bed and says to himself, "Man oh man, I
finally did it! I'm no longer a virgin." The woman overhears him
talking
to himself and asks, "Are you saying you lost your virginity to me?"
"Well," the guy explains, "I always wanted to wait and give the
woman I
love my virginity." Astounded, the woman replies, "So you really
love
me?" "No," the guy says. "I just got sick of waiting."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1699
Pumkin Patch
Diana: The next stop is the pumpkin patch.
Rudy: The whosey whasey?
Diana: The pumpkin patch.
Sandi: Is this where we got those orange heads last year?
BJ: Correct.
Rudy: The ones where Katie put on her head and ran around the
neighborhood with a sheet around her neck scaring everyone?
Diana: Yes.
Rudy: Can we skip this place?
Sandi: I think they call this tradition.
Rudy: I call tradition eating my five meals a day and sleeping not
buying an orange head.
At the pumpkin patch, the dogs and the bi-peds get out and wander
around.
Diana: Hey Rudy don't do that on that pumkin.
Rudy: Just leaving my mark.
Sandi: Hey, he is a dog.
Katie: Go Rudy can you mark them all?
Rudy: Whew, there must be several hundred of them, let me try.
Diana: No, no, in the car Rudy. I have three pumpkins I want.
Rudy: Awww!
The Herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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