Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I have been catching up on my work lately by working late at
night with no disruptions and leaving part of my days free to
get some fall preparations done. Today however I was busy
repairing computers so Buffy would have one to use while her
Lenovo is in the shop. I had done some housecleaning on the
Vista HP last week and I let her use that one. Things were
going fine until this evening when it wouldn't connect to the net.
I replaced the cables and network card and still nothing and I am
beginning to wonder if Buffy loaded something that
is keeping her from connecting so Buffy went home and got
a little IBM office unit she had bought from a wholesaler for 80.00.
They are P4 machines running XP home but they were hurting
as far as ram goes. I added another half gig to it and set her
up with Avast anti-virus.
Anyhow we have three working, one in the shop, one that won't talk,
and one up on blocks because I robbed parts from it. It all boils
down to one thing, " You can never have too many computers."
Tis The Season
This stuff is really good with some Captain Morgan's added
Mulled Cider
4 cup apple cider (or unfiltered apple juice)
2 tbsp grenadine syrup
4 whole cloves
4 pinch cardamon pods , 4 pods, slightly crushed
1 cinnamon sticks , cut in 2-inch pieces
1 oz fresh lemon peel , cut in 2-inch strips
1 oz grated orange peel , or cut in 2-inch strips
Directions
1 In a medium saucepan, combine the apple cider with the grenadine,
cloves, cardamom, cinnamon, lemon and orange zest.
2 Heat the cider until small bubbles appear around the edges of the
liquid. Reduce the heat, keeping the cider warm enough so that steam
rises from the surface. Hold it at this point for 20 minutes.
3 Remove the spices and zest from the pan. Pour the cider into clear
punch cups or mugs and serve.
Enjoy the chips they go well with cider.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Word Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
WORDS YOU DO NOT WANT TO HEAR DURING SEX
"You feel almost as good as my wife."
"You know, your mother is so much better!"
"Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?"
"Oh my God!!! 3.5 seconds, a new record"!!!!!
"Do you mind? I'm trying to watch TV."
"Darling, don't you think that the ceiling needs painting?"
"Oh Janet!" . And your name is Carol
"Oops I did it again."
"Will you please hurry up there is a really good movie coming on in
one minute."
"Is it hurting? I can't even feel it."
"Is it in yet?"
"Do you think your sister would like to join us?"
"I think we should paint the ceiling ivory"
"Are you sure you're not named 'Speedy Gonzales'."
"Oops, sorry I called you by your brother's name."
"Did you just have salami for lunch?"
Fart, giggling, fart, giggling, fart, giggling.
"WRONG HOLE!!!"
"Finished! I didn't think you started yet."
Laughing with the explanation: "I just remembered a joke I heard
today."
"But you said you would be through by the time the commercial was
over."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
I hate nature
http://www.thepostm
its not the size
http://www.thepostm
no rain
http://www.thepostm
Don't Look Behind You
http://www.sydesjok
Doris
http://www.sydesjok
Dorkmail
http://www.sydesjok
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trivia Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have
produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the
body
to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves
to
death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached
to
its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human
jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 time s a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life..quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm....
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-
handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
( I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these
crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to,
maybe even a chuckle.
In other words, send it to everyone !
(and God love that pig!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A fraternity brother confronted a junior member, telling him, "A
sorority girl is running around campus telling people you have a
small
dick." "Yeah?" the junior member replied. "Well, she has a big
mouth."
Women think they're so clever because they can fake an orgasm for
the
sake of a relationship, but men can fake a whole relationship for
the
sake of an orgasm.
If you don't enjoy masturbation, you have only yourself to blame.
A blonde and a brunette were standing in an elevator. A man with
dandruff walked in. The brunette said, "Somebody needs to give him
some Head & Shoulders." The blonde asked, "How do you give
shoulders?"
A man went to the doctor after he twisted his knee playing
golf. "You
need to stop masturbating,
the doctor replied, "Because I am trying to examine your knee."
Will I be the first to do this to you?" a man whispered when his
bride
to be finally consented to have sex. "What a silly question,"
giggled
the girl. "I don't even know what position you want to try yet."
When does a cub become a boy scout?
When he eats his first Brownie.
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100 out loud?
Because when she says 69 she gets a frog in her throat.
What's the definition of a vagina?
The box a penis comes in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sperm Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are two sperm and they're swimming and swimming and swimming
for what seems like forever. They're starting to get tired and one
sperm says to the other, "Do you think we should pull over and ask
for directions?"
The other sperm replies, "Naaaahhhhh, we can find it."
So, they keep swimming. Finally, they see another sperm, who's
almost
dead, and decide to stop and ask for directions. They ask, "Do you
think you can help us get to where we are going?"
The almost dead sperm says, "I'll try, where ya going?"
The two sperms reply, "Well, we're trying to find the fallopian
tubes
so that we can try and fertilize the egg."
The almost dead sperm just starts laughing. The other two sperms
look
at one another, somewhat confused, and ask, "What's so funny?"
The almost dead sperm finally regains his composure and replies,
"Well,
you guys have a long way to go...... you're still in the esophagus."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Use the Power of the Sun to Recharge your Portable Devices!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
How is a man like a snowstorm? You don't know when he's
coming, how
many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
She was an attractive barmaid so Paul slapped a ten on the bar and
said,
"I bet I can keep an eye on this drink while I go to the
bathroom." She
knew the bathroom was around the corner so she accepted the bet.
Paul
took his glass eye out placed it beside the glass and went to the
bathroom.
"Betcha I can bite my own ear," Paul challenged. The bet was
accepted and
he took out his false teeth and nipped his ear. Once more he
scooped up
the money. "Okay," he said, "I'll give you a chance to win your
money
back. I bet I can make love to you so tenderly you won't feel a
thing."
Now that was one thing she knew about so she accepted the bet.
Paul
lifted her skirt and away they went. "I can feel you," she cried.
"Oh
well," Paul said, "You win some, you lose some!!"
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the
same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
beautifully,
said.
"Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on little Johnny.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
was
pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, ......just fucking beautiful!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Raisin Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who
likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties.
One day a young man enters the store, glances
at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread
behind the counter. Noticing the length of her
skirt (or lack thereof) and the location of the
raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea.
"I'd like some raisin bread please," the man
says politely.
The female clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to
reach the raisin bread, which is located on the
very top shelf. The young man standing almost
directly beneath her is provided with an excellent
view, just as he surmised he would.
Once she descends the ladder he muses that he
really should get two loaves, as he is having
company for dinner.
As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread,
one of the other male customers notices what
was going on. Thinking quickly, he requests his
own loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to
enjoy the view.
With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seems
to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty
soon, each male customer is asking for raisin
bread, just to see the clerk climb up and down.
After many trips she is tired, irritated and thinking
that she is really going to have to try the bread
herself.
Finally, once again atop the ladder, she stops
and fumes, glaring at the men standing below.
She notices an elderly man standing amongst
the crowd, staring up at her.
Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells at the
elderly man,
"Is it raisin for you too?
"No," stammers the old man, "but it's twitchin a mite'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Washday
http://silverandgol
Portrait Of Middle Age
http://www.carolspo
LETTER FROM MAW
http://www.wtv-
John w/ Thats Amore
http://heavens-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Surfin Surfari
Halloween Cakes
http://www.shangral
Casa Batllo - House Of Bones
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Chapel With Bone Art
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Horse Costumes
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Okay, I wanted to let you know that I'm giving the whole damn thing
away today, and this is REALLY the LAST day that I'll be doing this!
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away today for the last
time....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv) Graphics Via Raymond
Layouts and Backgrounds
http://www.dazzleju
Christmas Countdown Banners
http://ult-tex.
J's Magic Galleries
http://jsmagic.
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.terrierc
Kitty Korner
http://www.shangral
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Movie Links
Midgey
http://www.buffalos
Momma Is Santa
http://www.buffalos
Morning Peepers
http://www.buffalos
Moshonov
http://www.buffalos
Mother's Day
http://www.buffalos
Moulin Huge
http://www.buffalos
Love 2008
http://www.buffalos
Love Boat
http://www.buffalos
Lucha
http://www.buffalos
Luckiest Man On The Planet
http://www.buffalos
Lucky 1
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Love Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two friends are discussing the possibility of love. "I
thought I was in love three times," one friend says.
"How so?" his friend asks.
"Five years ago I deeply cared for a woman who wanted
nothing to do with me."
"Was that not love?" his friend asks.
"No," he replies. "That was obsession. And then two
years ago I deeply cared for an attractive woman who
didn't understand me."
"Was that not love?"
"No," he replies. "That was lust. And just last year I
met a woman aboard a cruise ship to the Caribbean. She
was smart, funny, and a great conversationalist. And everywhere I
followed
her on that boat, I would get this strange sensation in the pit of
my
stomach."
"Was that not love?" his friend asks.
"No," he replies. "That was motion sickness."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Derek Jeter Half Dollar
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certificate of authenticity.
Own your piece of baseball history today.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aol Toilet
http://www.buffalos
apple
http://www.buffalos
apples
http://www.buffalos
appointment
http://www.buffalos
arab blowup doll
http://www.buffalos
arab get oil
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Turbo Snake is the fastest and easiest way to unclog any drain in
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Simply glide the Turbo Snake down the drain, give it a twirl, and
the specially designed hooks grab onto the hair and gunk to remove
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Snake for showers and tubs has a bigger hair grabbing pad and the
Small Turbo Snake has a smaller head for sinks.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
She frowned and called him Mister
Because in sport he kissed her
And so in spite
That very night
This Mister kissed her sister.
To his bride said the lynx-eyed detective
"Can it be that my eyesight's defective?
Has your east tit the least bit
The best of the west tit?
Or is it just a trick of perspective?
There once was a man from Nantuckett
Who got his foot stuck in a bucket
Though he tried and tried
He could not come unpried
So finally, he up and said "F*** IT."
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
Ross
PROUD father of an American Soldier
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnnie is sitting on the fence, watching a bull with two
cows. The
preacher walks up, and asks Johnnie what he is doing. Johnnie
replies, "I'm
watching that bull fuck the black cow."
The preacher, aghast at the language, tells Johnnie that he should
say that
the bull is going to SURPRISE the black cow.
Johnnie says, "OK." and the preacher leaves.
The next day, after church, the preacher is shaking hands with all
the
parishioners as they leave. When Johnnie appears with his parents,
the
preacher kneels down, smiles, and says, "So, Johnnie, did the bull
SURPRISE
the black cow?"
Johnnie replies, "He sure did! He fucked the white one!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Original Dreamie
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Order now and we'll give you a second one at no charge.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
SIGNS OF TROUBLE IN SANTA'S MARRIAGE
10. He's replaced all the elves with scantily clad Swedish exchange
students.
9. Mrs. Claus calls him "that fat freak in the red underwear."
8. He traded in his sleigh for a van with a waterbed.
7. He's been spending a little too much time with the life-sized
holiday
Barbie.
6. His new live-in person elf valet, Steve.
5. Mrs. Claus having cybersex relationship with accountant from New
Jersey.
4. He knows when she's been sleeping, he knows when she's awake
because he's
bugged the bedroom.
3. Lately, she keeps "forgetting" to tie her robe when she brings
the elves
their morning coffee.
2. Stockings aren't the only things he's been nailing in front of
the
fireplace.
1. Not a creature is stirring in Santa's pants.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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View Website
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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