THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
One of the lessons of history is that 'Nothing' is
often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER:
Geico unveiled a new marketing campaign for its
insurance company. The company offers major savings to
customers who switch their car insurance. The FCC
promises to file a law suit against the company
very shortly: Not because of the claims it makes,
but because they say its too graphic for television:
In other news today, Parker brothers, the manufacturer
of Monopoly, announced the production of a new game, Hot sex dice.
Siting slumping sales due to a sagging economy and a
electronically minded society, oldest brother, Paul Parker
believes it will turn the toymaker around financially.
He also said it should renew interest in family night.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
________
THE COMICS
don't move
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x050.html
remain silent
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x051.html
scarier
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x052.html
in the next few minutes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x053.html
for the men
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x054.html
the old indian said...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x055.html
catholic wives
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x056.html
four tablets
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x056.html
the prostitute comes home from work
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x058.html
how long
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x059.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
strange sign
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8229.html
sleepy driver
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8230.html
fat free milk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8231.html
how to get a soccer buddy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8232.html
at the all u can eat buffet in Las Vegas
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8233.html
accupuncture
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8234.html
kids telling jokes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8235.html
funny things
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8236.html
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates
and said, 'You have been a good cat all these years.
Anything you want is yours for the asking.'
The cat thought for a minute and then said, 'All my
life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors.
I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.'
God said, 'Say no more.' Instantly the cat had a huge
fluffy pillow. A few days later, six mice were killed
in an accident and they all went to Heaven together.
God met the mice at the gates with the same offer
that He made to the cat The mice said, 'Well, we
have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs,
and even people with brooms! If we could just have
some little roller skates, we would not have to run again.'
God answered, 'It is done.' All the mice had
beautiful little roller skates. About a week later,
God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound
asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the
cat and asked, 'Is everything okay? How have you
been doing? Are you happy?' The cat replied, 'Oh, it
is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in my life.
The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on
Wheels you have been sending over are delicious!'
_________________
Q. Did you hear about the new combination of Viagra and
Doan's pills?
A. It's so the back won't peter out and the peter won't
back out.
Q. What are the advantages of having an affair with a
married woman?
A. They give like hell. They don't yell. They don't
tell. They don't swell and there are no wedding
bells!
Q. Where can men over the age of 60 find younger sexy
women who are interested in them?
A. Try a bookstore, under fiction.
Q. What can a man do while his wife is going through
menopause?
A. Keep busy. If you're handy with tools you can finish
the basement. When you are done you will have a place
to live.
___________
"My boyfriend and I had hardly finished one argument
when I screwed up and started another one." said Jill.
"How'd you do that?" asked Margaret.
"Well," says Jill "you know when you're done with a
big fight and your significant other suggests a little
'make-up sex'?" "Yeah" says Margaret.
Jill replies, "I guess it wasn't the right time
for me to ask, 'Does it have to be with you?'"
______________
Two divorced women, Jill and Nadine, were having a quiet
drink at the bar, when Jill said to Nadine, "I've
recently met a man who's shown me what I've been faking
all these years!" Nadine looked slightly puzzled and
enquired, "What's that?"
Jill smiled and said: "An orgasm!"
____________
The wealthy financier was sitting in his study when
his eldest son came to him. "Dad," the boy stammered,
"I got a girl in trouble and she wants two thousand
dollars to keep quiet about it." The father reluctantly
wrote a check for the amount; but just as he finished
signing it, his second son burst in with the same bad
news, only this time the amount requested was three
thousand dollars. While he was writing the second
check, his youngest daughter appeared at the door
of the study, weeping. "Daddy," she sobbed uncontrollably,
"I think I'm pregnant."
"Aha," the financier exclaimed gratefully. "Now we collect!"
_____________
As their first assignment, my English 101 students
are asked to write a paper about their summer.
One student wrote a paper about going to
the coast and getting a summer job on a fishing
boat. He described how, without any skills, he was
still able to obtain work as a "bait boy" on the boat.
It was his job to make sure the bait was provided,
cut up, if necessary, and even put on the hooks if
the customers wanted him to do that. He did well,
was given more responsibilities, and advanced quickly
in the job. By the summer, he had done so well
that he was made "master baiter."
_____________
BUFFALO Bill
Olympic 1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91901.htm
Olympic 2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91902.htm
Only in L.A
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91903.htm
_____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Condom On Head
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000368.html
Condom Plant
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000369.html
Condom Sizes
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000370.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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