THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
As many of you know, having grown up
on a farm in Iowa, I am pretty much a
meat and potatos kindof guy. Beef and
pork, that is. Chicken I am not so crazy
for. Perhaps that is because I remember
how nasty raising chickens was on the
farm. They are an incredibly nasty
creature. But that is just my opinion.
But, for some strange reason, I do love
fried chicken, and every so often, I
get the craves for good ole KFC.
Yesterday at 11am, I found myself standing
at the door waiting for them to open, and I
got me a great big huge bucket of dark,
extra crispy from the Colonel. I did it good,
too. Enough to last a couple days. Nobody
else around here cares for it. but that's ok
that just means more for me.
I also love their potato salad. Every
restaurant here in town that serves tater
salad, it all tastes the same, because they
all get it from Gordon Food Service. Except
for KFC. they have their own, and its good.
So I picked up a big bucket of that, too.
And yesterday, I pigged out all day on the
fingerlickin goodness of the Colonel. Little
did I know, "the war department" had gone to
the grocery store after work. She walks in the
door and says, "hon, you will be happy, I'm
making fried chicken tonight." And she had a
huge package of chicken legs she had bought
from Walmart on "special." (The war department
makes fried that will rival the colonel. but thats another story)
Between the bucket of KFC and the war dept's
friars, I expect there is probably a years supply
of fried chicken in the fridge and my keyboard is
never going to survive the chicken grease.:)
If you open The Postman's Corner tomorrow and it
clucks at you, don't say I didn't warn you!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________
THE COMICS
GOP health care
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x080.html
I hate nature
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x081.html
its not the size
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x082.html
no rain
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x083.html
new halloween game
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x084.html
do you have anything...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x085.html
boring
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x086.html
your assurance
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x087.html
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
the elk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8250.html
wild ride
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8251.html
The monster hash-wav
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8252.html
Ronney Rap
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8253.html
halloween candy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8254.html
halloween prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8255.html
One night, a horny old geezer decides to get
himself a hooker. Since the man doesn't have much
money, he looks for the cheapest whore in the
nearest Red Light District. A short while later,
he finds what he's looking for and spends $10 for
oral sex and intercourse. The next morning the
old geezer wakes up and discovers he has crabs.
So, he gets dressed and heads down to where he
had been the night before. He notices the same
hooker on the street corner, so he marches over
to her and says, "Hey, lady, you gave me crabs!"
The hooker replies, "Hey, old man, what did you
expect for $10? Lobster?"
______________
Seven Reasons Why Airplanes Are Easier To Live With Than Women:
1. Airplanes usually kill you quickly - a woman takes her time.
2. Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.
3. Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations.
4. Airplanes don't come with in-laws.
5. Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes.
6. Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.
7. However, when airplanes go quiet, just like women,
it's usually not good.
_______________
A psychology student decides to have a party and
invites lots of people, telling them to bring their friends.
On the invitation he writes... "Theme Party - Come
as a Human Emotion". On the night of the party,
the first guest arrives and he opens
the door to see a guy covered in green paint
with the letters N and V painted on his chest. He says to this guy,
"Wow, great outfit, what emotion have you come as?" and the guy
says,"I'm green with envy".
"Brilliant," says the host, "come on in and have a drink".
A few minutes later the next guest arrives and the host opens the
door to see a woman covered in a pink body stocking with a
feather boa wrapped round her most intimate parts. He says to
this woman,"Wow, great outfit, what emotion have you come as?"
"I'm tickled pink" she replies.
"I love it," says the host, "come on in and join the party."
A couple of minutes later the doorbell goes for the third time,
and the host opens the door to see two black guys from New York,
stark naked, one with his penis stuck in a bowl of custard and
the other with his penis stuck in a pear.
The host is really shocked and says,
"Christ, guys, what the hell are you doing? You could get
arrested for standing like that out here in the street.
What emotion is this supposed to be?"
The first guy replies,
"Well, I'm fuckin' discustid, and my friend here is deep in
dispair."
____________
An archaeologist discovered a family living in an
ancient cave in France. He was excited by his
discovery but he was even more excited when the
husband told him that they had 10 more Commandments
that had been handed down from Moses. They had
been written on a tabletop.
"May I see them, please?" the archaeologist asked.
"Well, I'm sorry," the man said, "but we sanded
them off quite a while ago."
"What did they say?" the archaeologist asked.
"Do you remember?"
The man said, "Well, I've forgotten most of them,
but I do remember number 17. It said,
'I've changed my mind about adultery'."
_______________
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately
my stomach covers them.
Nobody cares if you can't dance well.
Just get up and dance.
I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,
just getting over the hill.
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's
a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
______________
BUFFALO BILL
Concert
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90912.htm
Hospital
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90913.htm
Plane Ride
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90914.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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