Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Buff your bit about mail boxes made me think about a job I had in
Spokane. I worked for Caterpillar as a mechanic. Cat had a new
attachment for #12 motor graders. Glen Layton and I had to install
the first one up in St. Maries Id. We worked about a week putting
cables pulleys and hydraulic cyls. It was called a snow wing. The
object was to throw the snow up on the side of the road. When we
got it ready to go Glen said Ill drive it you follow in the pickup.
It
worked like a dream but every once in a while I saw a big lump fly
up in the air I got Glen to stop we went back down the road. We
found
we had wiped out about 3 miles of mail boxes. We thought it was time
to turn it over to the county. I have never seen one of them since
and that
was in the 50s. ol john
buffalo says We use wing plows in town where nothing can be built
in the right of way. The extra distance allows them to do half of
the street
in a pass and push the snow farther back on the curb. It's always
nice
to go out in the morning and have snow pushed all the way under your
vehicle.
The first type of snow removal equipment was the Sno-go. It was your
snow blower super-sized and mounted on a dump truck. They were slow
but you could take a large amount of snow and put it where you
wanted
it. Still used at airports. Next was the large Blade on the front
of a dump
truck and angled to push snow towards the curb but left you with a
snow
bank right at the edge of the road. It was good at moving up to
three
feet of snow. When you hit deep powder it is an automatic white-out
and the driver is luck if he can see his road markers. For removing
light amounts of snow quickly, a dump truck with a belly mount plow
is
used. Because the weight of the truck is on it the blade does a good
job of scraping and the driver can see where he is going. On the bad
side the blade takes pressure from the front wheels making it harder
to brake and steer.
Snow removal is difficult and dangerous. Give plows a wide berth.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man was sitting on the sofa watching TV when he heard his wife's
voice from the kitchen.
"What would you like for dinner, love? Chicken, beef or lamb?"
He said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken."
"Fuck you," she said. "You're having soup. I was talking to the
cat."
It is the year 25 after Christ's birth and Mother Mary is worried.
Her son has not had any contact wth women whatsoever and she orders
Mary Madeleine to organize the sleaziest hooker of all of Bethlehem
for her son. Amen:
She arrived, grabed the young man's hand after an approving
and obviously favourable look and dragged hin into the bedroom. The
door closed and all was calm until the door flew back open again --
and the prostitute came running out of the bedroom, screaming and
cursing and leaving the house.
Mother Mary was a bit taken aback and went to talk to her
son, who was lying on the bed, chewing an apple and obviously being
quite content with himself. "What happened here?" she asked.
Jesus looked at her surprised. "I don't know. It all went
exactly the way the other guys always said it would be. She looked
me in the eyes, I looked her in the eyes. She kissed me, I kissed
her back. She started to pet me, so I pet her. Her hand went up my
thigh and so did mine on hers. Then her hand went between my legs
and my hand went between her legs."
"Then what?" Mary pressed on.
"Then," Jesus continued, "I felt that she had been amputated
there, and so I healed her."
Patricia
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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mixed emotions
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Dogs Lick Bowl
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Dogs Revenge
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elton John and George Michael were standing on Circular Quay looking
out over the harbour. George pointed to a ferry and asked, "Elton,
what's that?" "That's a ferry-boat, George my love," answered Elton.
"Oooh!" Squealed George, "I knew there was a lot of us, but I didn't
know we had our own navy!"
These days the only real "safe sex" involves going out with a man
who's impotent.
If two gay guys and two lesbians lived together and were on their
way
out headed to the same place, the lesbians would get there first
because they would be doing 69 while the gay guys would still be
home
packing their shit!
What's the difference between a hunting dog and a nymphomaniac? A
hunting dog sics a duck.
This guy is sitting at a bar when a 65 year old women sits down
beside
him and orders a drink. After a few drinks she asks him "have you
ever
had a threesome with a mother and daughter?" He replies "no." She
says, "well would you like to?" He looks her over and sees she is
actually pretty good for a 65 year old and he figures her daughter
must be really hot so he says "sure, why not." They get into her
Mercedes and on the way over her he can hardly wait to see what the
daughter is like. As they come in through the front door of her
house
she hollers, "Mom, are you home ?"
Brandy makes you randy, and Whisky makes you frisky, but its a good
stiff Johnny Walker that makes you pregnant. (Robert Ford)
Stan Kegel
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Returning from the men's room, a bar customer was shaking his
head. "What's the matter?" inquired the bartender.
"While I was in the bathroom back there, I noticed among the
scribbling on the wall, and one that said: WENDY GIVES REALLY
FABULOUS HEAD - ABSOLUTELY THE GREATEST B.J. IN THE WHOLE WIDE
WORLD!" replied the customer.
"Ah buddy, I wouldn't give it a second thought, we get jerks in here
like anywhere else," said the bartender.
"I know," continue the headshaker. "One of them has scratched out
the
phone number!"
A man goes to a cat house and tells that "madam" that he's been
around the world and has had every type of woman. He said he would
like something different this time.
She sends him up to Mabel's room. He walks in and finds this "drop
dead" gorgeous woman. He tells her that although she is beautiful,
he's had many beautiful woman before and was looking for something
different. She takes her eye out and tells him to screw her there.
He
does and finds it was terrific. He tells her he will be back again
next week.
She says, "Okay. I'll keep and eye out for you!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A mini-skirted, totally blonde, Valley Girl sashayed over to her
blind date and said, "Like dude, I want you to totally screw my
brains out."
"Sorry," he replied, "I'm not into quickies."
"Will the father be present during the birth?" asked the
obstetrician
solicitously.
"Nah," replied the mother-to-be. "He and my husband don't get
along."
A young girl sneaks into the bathroom, and sees her father in the
shower. Naturally, she is curious and asks what his testicles are.
"Those are the Apples of the Tree of Life" he tells her, by way of
poetic concealment. Impressed, the girl then repeats this
information
to her mother, who replies, "Did he say anything about the dead
branch they're hanging on?"
Morris had just had coronary artery bypass surgery a month ago and
now is at the doctor's office for his final follow up visit. Of
course Morris wants to know when he can start having sex again.
The doctor explains to Morris that he would be able to resume his
sex
life as soon as he could climb two flights of stairs without
becoming
winded.
Morris listens attentively and then says, "What if I look for the
women who live on the ground floor?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day little Johnny's teacher was teaching the class about
agriculture. To help with this, she was showing pictures of farm
equipment. She puts up the first picture, "What is this a picture of
class?" she asks.
Little Suzy puts up her hand and Johnny sticks up his hand. Of
course,
the teacher just knows that Johnny has something dirty in mind and
picks
Suzy."What is this Suzy?".
"Its a rake".
"Very good, now can anyone tell me what this is?" she asks and
points at
the next picture. Johnny's hand shoots up and, little Anne politely
puts
up her hand, and once again the teacher ignores little Johnny.
"That's a pitchfork" says little Suzy.
"Very good, now can anyone tell me what this is?" The teacher asks
once
more. Dead silence, only one student has their hand up, and of
course
its little Johnny. Seeming as though no one else was volunteering,
the
teacher asked Johnny. "OK Johnny, what is this?".
All of a sudden Johnny realizes he doesn't know the answer. "UH, UH,
its
a shovel, yeah, it's a shovel."
"No Johnny, this isn't a shovel, this is a hoe".
"What?!?! My sister's a hoe and she doesn't look nutin' like that!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Penny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stonewall,
holding
hands, and just gazing out over the loch.
For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked
at
the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I
was
thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss." The girl blushed,
then leaned over and kissed him. Then he blushed. Then the two
turned
once again to gaze out over the loch.
After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your
thoughts,
Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps its aboot time for a wee
cuddle." The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him. Then he
blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.
After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your
thoughts,
Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps its aboot time you let me
poot ma hand on your leg." The girl blushed, then took his hand and
put
it on her leg. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to
gaze
out over the loch.
After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your
thoughts,
Angus." The young man knit his brow. "Well, now," he said, "my
thoughts are a bit more serious this time." "Really?" said the girl
in
a whisper, filled with anticipation. "Aye," said the lad.
The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in
anticipation of the ultimate request.
Angus blurted out: "Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye paid me the
first three pennies?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A Box Of Unopened Love Letters
http://silverandgol
Carol w/Sisters
http://www.carolspo
John w/ A Talking Picture Of You
http://heavens-
The Peace Of God
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Guardian Angel
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Toy Hazards
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Marin's 'Balloon Boy' from 1964 still flying high Via Wesley
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State Jokes
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WWII Patrol Boat Wreckage Discovered
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
How to Adjust Colors on an LCD Monitor | eHow.com
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Windows 7 Compatibility Center Via Wesley
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Racer Car and Racing Simulator - Free Via Wesley
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Doggie Zone
Dog Helping Dog
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Links
Concert
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Hospital
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Plane Ride
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Romantic Dinner
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Amnesty Bills
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Big Screen TV
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Bike Meets Post
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Billiards
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Black Diamond Cheese
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?
To find a tight seal.
Two women were talking over coffee in a diner. "Trevor moved to San
Francisco," one of the women said. "Greg recently relocated with his
job to Chicago, and Brendan uprooted to Providence years ago."
"Gee,"
the other said, "I don't know how you keep all your ex-husbands
straight." "I can't," the first answered. "That's why Trevor went to
San Francisco." (Playboy Party Jokes)
When I consider how sweaters tend to make me sweat, I'm a lot less
inclined to wear my windbreaker.
A guy walks into a bar, slams a twenty quid note down and tells the
barman to get him a vodka. The barman serves the drink and enquires
about the problem. "I just found out my brother is gay" says the
guy.
"Man, that's tough" says the barman. Two weeks later the same guy
goes
into the bar again, and slams another twenty quid note. Then barman
again enquires about the problem. "I just found out my father is gay
too!" says the guy. "Wow, you family is fucked up" says the barman.
Two weeks later, the guy walks into the bar again. Before he has a
chance to take out any money, the bartender looks at him and says:
"Hey, doesn't anyone in your fucking family like to sleep with
women!"
"Yeh", answers the guy, "my wife"...
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
How to
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In Heaven
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Raise
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Today's Winner
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Fuck The Farmers
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Death By Viagra
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The climax, when Josie engages,
Is postponed for what seems to be ages.
Out of self-preservation
And to banish frustration
She has three or four fellows--in stages.
Today he is feeling such lust,
He knows very soon that he must
See if wife's in the mood.
He'll suggest something lewd,
And hope that his wife gets his thrust.
(Kirk Miller)
A lecherous fellow named Gould
Soliloquized thus to his tool:
"From Cape Cod to Salamanca,
You've had pox, clap, and chancre
Now ain't you a bloody great fool
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through one of the many
canyons,
when
suddenly rising from the hill on their right are hundreds of
Indians.
They start to spur their horse forward, when they realized that
there
are
hundreds of Indians ahead of them. Wheeling to the left they, once
again,
see hundreds of Indians rising from the hill. They begin to back
away in
the direction from which they had come and they realize they were
surrounded. The Indians had spread out and they were trapped.
The Lone Ranger turns to Tonto, his life long friend, and
says, "Tonto, my
friend, I think I must say that I have treasured our times together,
but now I think we are doomed."
"We?" replied Tonto. "What's all this 'we' crap, Paleface?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the
doctor comes in, and he says, "I have to tell you
something about your baby."
The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong
with my baby, Doctor? What's wrong???"
The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly,
but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is
a hermaphrodite.
The woman says, "A hermaphrodite.
The doctor says, "Well, it means your baby has
the...er... features... of a male and a female."
The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh my goodness!
You mean it has a penis... AND a brain?"
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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