Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Have you shaken your mailbox lately. Last Saturday was Shake Your
Mailbox day. This is aimed at you that have your mailbox, rural
style on a post out by the road and live in a snow area. If a
plowman strikes your mailbox and damages or destroys it, they are at
fault and required to replace it. If however it is in such bad
repair that snow or ice from the
plow knocks it down, that is your problem and if the ground is
frozen you are going to do without a mailbox till spring. ( Stuffing
the broken post into the frozen snow is not permitted.)
Over the years people upset about having their box knocked down have
made some pretty sturdy contraptions using lots of concrete, large
steel bars, rocks, and even old tractors or farm implements to mount
their mailboxes. When it comes to tangling with a 12 ton John Deere
Grader if you damage it you pay for it and there is also liability
if a
car or snowmobile hits it, because it is actually on the right of
way. Consult American Association of State Highway and
Transportation
Officials in "A Guide for Erecting Mailboxes on Highways." if you
are wondering if your box is legal.
Gas has jumped to 2.77 a gallon up here and is being blamed on the
falling dollar. In fact the refineries have cut production back so
far as to cause a shortage. I wish they would pick a price and leave
it alone. People are using less gas because they don't have jobs.
Raising the price of gas makes it hard for them to look for a new
one and those that have low paying jobs have even more trouble
getting to them.
Enjoy the chips ..... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Stimulus Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello, Folks... Ross here! ((o;
When you receive your next stimulus check from the Government
here's a few ideas on how to help keep it IN the USA!!
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S.
economy
by spending your stimulus check wisely:
* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will
go to
China or Sri Lanka .
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the
Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or
China .
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras
and Guatemala .
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go
to management
bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America by:
1) Spending it at yard sales, or
2) Going to ball games, or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Beer or
5) Tattoos.
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.
-- cept grocery stores and gas stations!)
Conclusion:
Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard
sale
and drink beer all day! Keep that money in the US!
<Snagged by>
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
Ross
PROUD father of an American Soldier
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
dogs
http://www.thepostm
money
http://www.thepostm
pussy snorkel
http://www.thepostm
Cooking Crabs
http://sydesjokes.
Cool Card Trick
http://sydesjokes.
Cool Cop
http://sydesjokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stupid Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wouldn't say my brother is stupid, but.......
...He keeps forgetting I'm an only child!
...He thinks 'Oral Sex' is 'Talking' about it.
...He's depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
...He puts a bucket under the pipe when there's a gas leak.
...He has an intellect that is rivaled only by Egg plants.
...We have to make introductions around the breakfast table every
morning.
...He stayed up all last night studying for his blood test.
...He sure makes my dog look smart!
...He studied all weekend for a urine test.
...He can't convert 0 feet to meters.
...He was supposed to try out for a part in Dumb and Dumber but
forgot to turn up.
...He still checks the inside of his hands to see if "it" really
will cause hair to grow!!
...He keeps forgetting he's my sister
...When my parents said they'd send him abroad, he asked how old she
was
...But he had a battle of wits with a doorknob and lost.
...But he looked hard at the orange juice container because it said
concentrate
...He forgotten that he's been dead for the last five years
...He got drunk, walked into the wall four times and said "Shit, I'm
bricked in!"
...He stole a free cookie!
...He couldn't count his testicles and come up with the same number
twice!
...He thinks a Toadstool is a well endowed frog
...When he got on the bus, he asked for a return. When the driver
asked him "Where to?" He replied "Back here!"
...It takes him an hour and a half to watch "60 Minutes"
...After joining the I.R.A. and being told to blow up a bus, he
burnt his lips on the exhaust pipe
...He saw a sign that said "wet floor"... so he did.
...When mum said to take butter out from the fridge, he took the
butter outdoors!
...He thinks Sherlock Holmes is a block of flats
...In his first airplane travel was astonished to see he was not
becoming smaller in size
...I've seen bread dough with more intelligence.
...When they tested his I.Q., the score began with Minus.
...When they were handing out brains, he couldn't even find the
line.
...But if you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change
back.
...He thinks a woman with crabs is a seafood delicacy.
...If he had one more IQ he'd be a pot plant.
...He had just learned to count to 21 when he got arrested for
indecent exposure.
...Last night, when I turned of the lights he wrote a letter to God,
asking him why he didn't pay his electric bill.
...He has to pull down his pants to count to 11
...He couldn't empty water from a boot if the instructions were
written on the heel
...But then, I'm a blonde
...But I would give him a dollar for every thought he had, and still
have from five dollars.
...He's trying to teach "sit up & beg" to his pet rock?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quiz Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sex Quiz.....
1. The most erotic experience a woman over 35 can have is:
a. having her knees rubbed with sour cream
b. simultaneously using the food processor, the blender, and the
microwave c. reading a sex quiz d. shopping for shoes
2. When a businessman buys a red Mercedes, he is hoping to:
a. acquire a mistress
b. attract his neighbor's wife
c. preserve his youth
d. get a tax write-off
3. A marriage is in trouble when the husband brings home from the
video store: a. Kitten with a Whip b. Sex Slaves of New Haven c.
Emmanuelle II meets Rocky IV d. The girl who works behind the
counter
4. Condoms are not recommended for use:
a. before the 15th of the month
b. after the 15th of the month
c. immediately after sex
d. children under 10
5. Religious families generally have large families because:
a. they generally have more children
b. they just have natural rhythm
c. the Bible forbids television
d. they're just lucky
6. The Bible condemns homosexuals because:
a. they go to the theater a lot
b. they look too much like heterosexuals
c. they don't keep two sets of clothes
d. it's impossible to determine who should take out the garbage
7. After their 35th birthday, fewer than 10% of women ever achieve:
a. multiple orchids b. a satisfactory weight-loss program c. a job
that pays as much as a man's d. comfortable shoes
8. It is not uncommon for the average male to worry about the size
of
his:
a. bank account
b. piano
c. office
d. necktie
9. In addition to traditional methods, AIDS can also be transmitted
by:
a. petting goldfish
b. handling chicken fat
c. kissing the family dog
d. bloody bar room brawls
10. Conception has been known to occur in:
a. the ovarian tubes
b. eustachian tubes
c. the Goodyear tube station
d. back seat of a Camaro
11. "Time of the month" refers to:
a. ovulation
b. undulation
c. a new moon
d. the weekend of AFC vs. NFC championship football
12. Testosterone is a kind of:
a. Italian ice cream
b. testimony given in an Italian court
c. umpire in an Italian cricket match
d. Italian chicken fat
13. An erogenous zone is an area where:
a. women tend to fall asleep
b. women tend to develop sudden headaches
c. men tend to laugh before the punchline
d. it is forbidden to park your rogenous
14. At least 50% of males suffer from premature:
a. emasculation
b. matriculation
c. baldness
d. laughter before the punchline
15. Judeo-Christian tradition frowns on:
a. premarital sex
b. post-marital sex
c. the opposite sex
d. carnal knowledge with non-kosher animals
16. The average frequency of sexual relations is:
a. 78.8 megahertz
b. 92.3 kilohertz
c. 98.4 oyithertz
d. depends on how often your wife works late
17. Which is not considered erotic vocabulary:
a. doo-doo
b. thingamajig
c. doggie-woggie
d. Who owns this pussy?
18. In your personal experience, sex is:
a. overrated but undersupplied
b. oversupplied but not overpriced
c. over there but not over here
d. over
If you answered a. to all of the above.... you got some of them
right.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A very well-built young lady was lying on her psychiatrist'
telling him how frustrated she was. "I tried to be an actress and
failed," she complained. "I tried to be a secretary and failed; I
tried being a writer and failed; then I tried being a sales clerk
and I failed at that, too."
The shrink thought for a moment and said... "Everyone needs
to live a full, satisfying life. Why don't you try nursing?"
The girl thinks about this, then bares one of her large, beautiful
breasts, points it at the shrink, and says... "Well go ahead, I'll
give it a try!"
A guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, you gotta help me! Every
time I look at myself in the mirror when I'm nude, I get a raging
hard on! Is there something wrong with me?"
The doctor checks him over, does some tests and says, "I've found
the cause of your erection when you look in the mirror, but I'm not
sure I can treat the problem."
"Why not? What's the problem?"
The Doctor says, "You look like a pussy."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Virgin Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle,
I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how
great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it
was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back
to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out
diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the
order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but
wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new
state-of-the-
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew
how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was
never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I
miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny sat glumly all evening eyeing his wife suspiciously.
Finally, he blurted, "Suzy, admit it. You've been blowing the dog,
haven't you?!"
"What?!" she shouted. "How can you say such a thing?"
"I've been watching you two," Little Johnny answered, " and, every
time you yawn, he gets a hard-on!"
The morning after an all-night honeymoon expert virtuoso performance
in bed, the somewhat amazed but blissfully happy newlywed wife
snuggles up to her new hubby and says, "Darling, you are just
wonderful. Last night was simply amazing. May I ask how many others
were there before me?"
After a few moments of silence, the wife becomes a little testy and
says, "Come on, I know there must have been some - I'm waiting."
And "Captain Experience" takes a deep breath and says, "Hang on
sweetheart, I'm still counting."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Derek Jeter Half Dollar
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this brilliant, uncirculated, genuine US Half Dollar. Layered in
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certificate of authenticity.
Own your piece of baseball history today.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/New Again
http://silverandgol
Rythyms Of Life
http://www.carolspo
MOMENT BY MOMENT http://www.wtv-
The Bible
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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Surfin Surfari
Iron Man, Spider-Man, Hulk, X-Men, Wolverine and all Marvel Comics
http://marvel.
Carving Gallery - 2008 Gallery
http://www.pumpking
Garbage Truck Camping
http://www.Shangral
Bent Things
http://tinyurl.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, I wanted to let you know that I'm giving the whole damn thing
away today, and this is REALLY the LAST day that I'll be doing this!
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away today for the last
time....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv) Via Wesley
NASA - NASA app for iPhone
http://tinyurl.
Convert Data, Files Online FREE
http://www.cometdoc
FireFox Add - Ons
http://tinyurl.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.riverson
Kitty Korner
http://cats.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual?
Did you know that many people who are married or in a serious
relationship secretly download software applications that allow them
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Internet.
Do you think that someone has done this to you? You can remove these
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This program also removes any spyware or adware located on your PC
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Right now you can scan your PC or laptop for no cost to see if there
are any "spying" programs on them.
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual?
Did you know that many people who are married or in a serious
relationship secretly download software applications that allow them
to monitor and see everything that their spouse or lover does on the
Internet.
Do you think that someone has done this to you? You can remove these
programs from your PC or laptop with a program called Spyware Nuker.
This program also removes any spyware or adware located on your PC
or laptop.
Right now you can scan your PC or laptop for no cost to see if there
are any "spying" programs on them.
Press Here to Begin Scan (YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THIS):
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Benny Hill Wishing Well
http://www.buffalos
Be Quiet
http://www.buffalos
Best Casino Ad Ever
http://www.buffalos
Best First Dance At A Wedding
http://www.buffalos
Best Video Of The Year
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CCR Lorraine
http://www.buffalos
Cell Phone
http://www.buffalos
Chick Em
http://www.buffalos
Child Proof Drawer
http://www.buffalos
Children Fire Alarms
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A former manager of the New York Yankees once told about a dream he
had in which he died and went to heaven. There he was ordered to
organize and manage a ball team. He said he was overwhelmed by all
the available talent - Christy Mathewson, Walter Johnson, Rube
Waddell, Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, and many other superstars. Just then
the phone rang. It was Satan calling to challenge the heavenly team
to a game. "But you haven't got a chance of winning," said the
manager. "You see I got all the great ball players up here." Satan
explained, "Oh, I know that. But I've got all the umpires!"
------------
Seated at the breakfast table, Jill was bent over in pain, and
complained to her husband, "My head aches, I have a pain in my
stomach, and my left breast feels like it's on fire." "Poor girl,"
solaced hubby, "Here's an aspirin for your head, alka seltzer for
your stomach, and if you lift your breast out of the hot coffee, I'm
sure it won't burn so much."
------------
One of my friends got a speeding ticket and was attending a
defensive driving course to have points erased from her license. The
instructor, a police officer, emphasized that being on time was
crucial, and that the classroom doors would be locked when each
session began. Just after one class started, someone knocked on the
locked door. The officer opened it and asked, "Why are you late?"
The student replied, "I was trying not to get another ticket."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Turbo Snake is the fastest and easiest way to unclog any drain in
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Simply glide the Turbo Snake down the drain, give it a twirl, and
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Snake for showers and tubs has a bigger hair grabbing pad and the
Small Turbo Snake has a smaller head for sinks.
Additional Ordering Details:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ride a Fat Boy
http://www.buffalos
Bum Fuck Egypt
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Good Spanking
http://www.buffalos
No screwing in public restrooms
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Work For head
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Wicked Picture
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An uncertain young woman named Fern
Was so great she had lovers to burn.
She got into bed
With both Johnnie and Fred
And didn't know which way to turn.
There once was a lady named Mable,
whose ass was as big as a table.
"Never you mind."
said a frind of mine.
She's ready, willing, and able.
there once was a guy at a mall
who thought he was tough shit and all
he thought he was slick
when he whipped out his dick
but girls laughed cause his dick was too small
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Additional Ordering Details:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a recent news broadcast, it was announced that Lorena
Bobbitt's sister Louella, was arrested for an alleged
attempt to perform the same act on her husband as her
famous sister had done several years ago.
Sources reveal the sister was not as accurate as Lorena.
She allegedly missed the target and stabbed her husband
in the upper thigh, causing severe muscle and tendon damage.
The husband is reported to be in serious, but stable condition,
and Louella has been charged with.... A Misdewiener
Harveythefrogprince
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Original Dreamie
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Order now and we'll give you a second one at no charge.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An alligator went to the doctor for a physical... He told the doctor
that he used to be able to swim downstream under water for ten miles
and eat everything he saw... "Now," he mused, "I don't care about
eating. All I want to do is sit on the beach and watch the food
float by." .. The doctor looked him over throughly and said, "Here's
two pills for you." .. "What are they like?" the alligator asked. ..
"Hmmm.... Well let's say they are a lot like Viaggra," extolled the
doc. .. "Cripe, Doc! I don't need anything like that! What are they
really for?"
Looking him over the Doc responded, "Well, they're for 'REPTILE
DYSFUNCTION'
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sure Clip
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1710
Leaves and Such
BJ: I really appreciate you guys gathering all the leaves into one
pile.
Rudy: It is nothing pops. It is a huge pile though.
BJ: Diana will fix something special for you guys tonight,
porkchops I think.
Sandi: Great!
Katie: Yeow!
Rudy: A-rooo!
The group goes in to eat and after eating...
BJ: I need to go back outside and bag the leaves and then I will be
done.
Rudy: We will go and help.
BJ: Okay...
But when they go outside, the large pile of leaves is gone,
disappated.
Sandi: Where did the leaves go?
Katie: There is one small pile left and that is it.
Out from the small pile, Pearl emerges slapping at leaves and
playing.
BJ: All that work...gone and lost.
Rudy grinning: She is a cat..
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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