THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
The walls we build around us to keep
sadness out also keeps out the joy.
~Jim Rohn
JUPITER JACK
Hands free head set
DRive Safe drive legally
turn your car radio into a hands free
cell phone speaker!
Buy one get one free!
Satisfaction guaranteed!
http://tinyurl.com/kumnmk
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
It is a good day. and I am looking forward
to breakfast this morning. I finally broke
down last night and turned the furnace on.
When I went to bed last night, I looked at
the thermostat and saw it was below 60 degrees.
I decided that my son might have a point about
the temperature. So anyway, I am warm and toasty
this morning, and rain falls steadily outside.
And it happens to be the war department's day
off. And the good part of that? She has promised
to make blueberry pancakes and sausage for breakfast!
There could be nothing better than that. Hmmm.
The problem is that on a good morning like this,
when she is all warm and cozy, its a little difficult
to get her out of bed. Should I get her up?
Problem with that is that she tends to be a tad bit
feisty if you do that on her morning off.
So, I shall sit here and you all will have to put
up with my rumbling stomach while I tell my jokes:)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________
THE COMICS
my wife and I
http://thepostmanscorner.net/v040.html
may seem silly
http://thepostmanscorner.net/v041.html
your husband lied
http://thepostmanscorner.net/v042.html
I'm concerned
http://thepostmanscorner.net/v043.html
better putter
http://thepostmanscorner.net/v044.html
sale
http://thepostmanscorner.net/v045.html
It's nothing
http://thepostmanscorner.net/v046.html
who gives a shit
http://thepostmanscorner.net/v047.html
junior
http://thepostmanscorner.net/v048.html
_________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
best knock out ever
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8123.html
cold beer
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8124.html
the marine and the ducks
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8125.html
animal facts
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8126.html
Internet help desk
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8127.html
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8128.html
Michael and the biology class
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8129.html
The teacher once asked the class to make a sentence with the phrase
pistol too.
Little Jimmy raised his hand, and after being recognized, said
"The lone Ranger tamed the wild west with his faithful indian companion
and his pistol too".
Very good says the teacher.
Little Johnnie raised his hand, and after being called on said
"Down at our house we make homebrew, drink till twelve and piss till two".
____________________
I'd offered to drive my mother-in-law to the doctor's.
But when I arrived at her house, I found her gossiping
away with a neighbor. "Mom, we've got to go,"
I interjected, but she couldn't hear me over the
chatter. "Mom!" I repeated as I pulled her away.
"Sorry, but I didn't know what to do," she said,
getting into the car, "That woman wouldn't stop
listening to me."
_______________
What can make you feel really good or be very annoying?
A woman's mouth!
Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take
them while driving.
Q: How are husbands like lawn mowers?
A: They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors,
and half the time they don't work.
Why did the butcher make his sausages with meat at
one end and cornmeal at the other? Because in hard
economic times it's difficult to make both ends meat
_____________
A truck driver is cruising along when he spots a
little yellow man standing in the middle of the road,
crying. He brings the truck to a standstill, rolls
down the window, and asks the little yellow man
what's wrong. "I'm yellow, I'm from Venus, I'm gay
and I'm hungry," sobs the little man. "Well," says
the trucker, "I can offer you a cheese sandwich, but
that's as much as I can do." So he passes a
sandwich to the little yellow man and drives off.
A bit later he has to stop again, because there's
a little red man in the middle of the road, crying.
So he comes to a halt, rolls down the window and a bit
more impatiently - asks the little red man what the
matter is. "I'm red, I'm from Mars, I'm gay and I'm
thirsty," the little man bawls. So the trucker says,
"I can offer you a can of Coke, but that's as
much as can do." He hands a can of Coke down to the
little red man and drives off. A little further on,
the trucker spots a little blue man in the middle
of the road. Really annoyed now, he stops, rolls
down the window and snaps, "Yes, you little blue
poof, what planet are you
from, and what the f#?K do you want?"
And the little blue man answers,
"Your driver's license, please"
_________________
A guy goes into the confessional box. He finds on one
wall afully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the
other wall is a dazzling array of the finest Cuban
cigars. Then the priest comes in.
"Father, forgive me, for it's been a long time since
I've been to confession, but I must first say that the
confessional box is much more inviting these days."
The priest replies, "Get out! You're on my side!!!"
________________
Bubba Joe's first military assignment was to a
military induction center, and, because he was a good
talker, they assigned him the duty of advising new
recruits about the government benefits, especially
the GI insurance to which they were entitled.
Before long the Captain in charge of the induction
center began noticing that Bubba was getting a 99
percent sign-up for the top GI insurance.
This was odd, because it would cost these poor
inductees nearly $30.00 per month more for their
higher coverage than what the government was already
granting. The Captain decided that he would sit in
the back of the room and observe Bubba's sales pitch.
Bubba Joe stood up before his latest group of
inductees and stated, "If you have the normal GI
insurance and go to Iraq and are killed, the
government pays your beneficiary $6,000." "If you
take out the supplemental GI insurance, which will
cost you an additional $30.00 per month, the
government pays your beneficiary $200,000."
"Now," Bubba concluded, "which bunch do you think
they're gonna send into combat first?"
______________
BUFFALO BILL
The Chronicles Of The Oba Messiah
http://www.buffaloschips.com/acccdd.htm
Then God Made Woman
http://www.buffaloschips.com/axxss.htm
The Potato Heads
http://www.buffaloschips.com/axxsszz.htm
The Wood Spider
http://www.buffaloschips.com/axxxssw.htm
_____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Cars Are Extension Of Mens Penises
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000302.html
Carter Highlight Aviation Technologies
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000303.html
Carwash Accident
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000304.html
__________________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Kids For Sale Cheap
http://tinyurl.com/mphlke
3 Days: Zoo Mystery
http://tinyurl.com/ngzmxf
Angel or Devil?
http://tinyurl.com/de46nb
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
No comments:
Post a Comment